Chapter 42.1
Even If It's Not Love
âI said it was mine.â
Yoo-hwa spoke without swaying.
âSo why are you picking up what I threw away?!â
Woo-hyun couldnât endure it in the end and shouted.
Their relationship was over. Why did she want to stay at that time when they have barely finished this terrible, heartless relationship? Why did she behave like it didnât come to an end even though it did? Why did she keep holding on to him with such a pathetic look? Why did she continue looking at him the same way, asking if heâs not a piece of crap, asking if heâs not disgusted by someone like herâ¦
âItâs precious to me.â
Yoo-hwaâs words pierced through his noisy mind. At that moment, the thoughts that had swelled in his mind disappeared in an instant.
â⦠What?â
âI know it didnât mean anything because you werenât being sincere, but I was. Even now. But Iâm not asking you to do anything. Iâm just doing this on my own. Soâ¦â
âLeave me alone.â, it was the moment for Yoo-hwa to say that.
âHow much do you want?â
As if he couldnât listen to Yoo-hwa any longer, Woo-hyun calmly cut off her words. Yoo-hwa, who couldnât say what she wanted, looked at Woo-hyun with a confused look.
â⦠What did you say?â
Yoo-hwa asked with a more bewildered face than when the gangster suddenly rushed in and hit her.
âWhat do you need, that youâre acting so pitiful? What did you and I do? Were we in such a loving relationship for you to be obsessed with my stuff? Do you need a house? Or consolation money? Tell me. Iâll give you anything.â
ââ¦â
âIâll give you anything, so stop this pitiful act.â
ââ¦â
âYou should stop, too.â
Yoo-hwa stood motionless at Woo-hyunâs words, like a person who had been beaten. Her gaze turned to the bright sky for a moment, and then dropped to the cracked floor.
As she stared at the floor, Yoo-hwaâs lips drooped faintly. Laughing frivolously as if she had heard the most ridiculous thing in the world, Yoo-hwaâs eyes finally turned to Woo-hyun.
â⦠Shall I tell you? It probably wonât happen.â
âTell me.â
Woo-hyun took his wallet out of his jacket. He was thinking of giving her a card if he didnât have enough cash. Sheâll forget when she gets out of this pathetic life. About him, and the time they spent together.
Yoo-hwa inhaled and said like a sigh.
âYou.â
ââ¦â
Woo-hyunâs gaze stopped. He held his breath and slowly moved his gaze to look at Yoo-hwa. Even after hearing those harsh words, Yoo-hwa said something like that.
âEven if itâs pitiful⦠I want you.â
ââ¦â
â⦠It canât be done, right? I told you.â
Yoo-hwa smiled faintly as if she could disappear at any moment.
She could never have what she earnestly wished for. A peaceful routine, her mother returning, a job like everyone else, and⦠even Sin Woo-hyun.
Yoo-hwa pushed Woo-hyunâs arm away. Woo-hyunâs hand, which had been grabbing her as if it would never let go, was pushed back helplessly. A few steps away from Woo-hyun, Yoo-hwa was finally able to breathe properly.
The day grew brighter and entered a perfect morning. Just as one canât go back to yesterday no matter how much one wants, she knew that there were days that wouldnât return no matter how much she wanted. And that there were people who canât return.
Yoo-hwaâs gaze moved slowly along Woo-hyun, who was standing firmly. Her gaze seemed to say, âSo you became like thisâ. After wandering around his face for a long time, the final destination of her gaze was his eyes.
âWoo-hyun.â
Yoo-hwaâs unfamiliar voice, which he was hearing for the first time, made Woo-hyun quickly turn his gaze. Yoo-hwa stood tall among the objects that had been dropped. She felt so different that he wondered if she was the one who laughed emptily just a moment ago. He looked only at Yoo-hwaâs face, like a person whose mouth had been blocked.
â⦠Even if it was fake, thank you.â
It was a thank you as unexpected as her sudden change. She didnât seem like the person who faced her feelings and fought fiercely just a moment ago.
However, obsequiously asking for a truce or trying to pitifully earn the heart of the other person wasnât a lie.
Like it was their last goodbye. The last goodbye, thrown in a hurry because this was the only time they had.
Even though she saw Woo-hyunâs face harden, Yoo-hwa carefully said the words she had prepared.
âI donât think I told you this. I think Iâll regret it if I donât do it now. I know. You came to get revenge on Yi-woon from the beginning, so you pretended to like me and pretended to be poor.â
ââ¦â
âEven though I expected it to be like that, for some reason, I went along with the acting.â
And then, it became the truth.
âEven though I knew you didnât mean it⦠It was good.â
So good that she wanted to grab a hold of it if possible. She enjoyed the happiness of filling her daily life with trivial and insignificant things. Like the little lights in the night view that illuminated the dark night.
âNow that I think about it, I would have liked you no matter how I met you, not because of my situation.â
She had that kind of feeling one day. The feeling that she would have fallen for Woo-hyun if she met him at some point. And that one day, the cord of the scale would break due to the weight of her leaning feelings.
Like now.