CH 4

Sure enough, Qu Yiheng hadn’t gone out for two days. Not only did he not leave the door, he almost didn’t sleep.

The manuscript he received was in a hurry. He had high requirements for himself, and the things he handed in has to pass his own level first, so he stayed up, with boiling red eyes and dark circles under his eyes.

He smoked a lot when he was working on the manuscript, and was so bored in his study that he had a mountain of ashtrays in his hands.

In the end, when he handed in his manuscript on time, he had no more packets of instant noodles at home and nor a single cigarette.

He knew exactly how long a job would take, how long he would have to paint without moving, how many meals, how many cigarettes and how many naps he would have to take. He knows it all.

Everything was planned, including falling ill the day after he handed in his work.

In the past, when he was young, he could stay up all night and do whatever he wanted to do and damage his health, but now, although he is not old, all the evil he did at that time has taken its toll and is now starting to backfire.

In the past, Qu Yiheng used to paint at midnight. He said that he was inspired by the quiet of the night, so in those years, he almost reversed his days and nights, but later, when his body couldn’t take anymore, he forced himself to change the habit.

The habit has changed, but some of the problems are already there.

When the editor called to say thank you, Qu Yiheng had just finished his medication and was lying down. He drank the children’s fever reducer, two packets of which worked faster than anything else.

“You’re welcome,” Qu Yiheng said, “But don’t always do this in the future. I really can’t afford it.”

“Hmm, you really saved my life this time. I’ll definitely come and thank you some other day!”

Qu Yiheng said “Goodbye, don’t come at all,” and after a few words, he hung up the phone and retreated to his blanket.

He squinted out of the window thinking ‘It’s over, I’m sure I’ll wake up at dawn,’ but he was too tired to move a finger, let alone be willing to get up and draw the curtains.

With this in mind, he soon fell asleep.

It was late in the evening when Qu Yiheng opened his eyes. It was not dark at seven o’clock in the summer’s evening. The downstairs was lively like an amusement park, with children shouting and occasionally dogs barking.

He rolled over on the bed, feeling that his fever had gone down, but he still had a headache.

He reached for his mobile phone, opened WeChat and found that there were people talking in the group ‘Class 13 of Fifth Secondary School.’

He had set the group to do-not-disturb mode so that the group message alerts would not make a sound anymore. But because people were chatting constantly every day, the group was always at the top and he could see it as soon as he opened WeChat.

When Qu Yiheng clicked on it, there was discussion about going out in November without family members.

‘It’s only August and these people are already planning their holidays, but they have a long-term vision.’

When he looked through the chat history he saw that a female classmate had sent out Yao Zhan’s name and asked him if he was going. Some people heckled below, saying that older single men and women in class are going to be free to get together.

Only then did Qu Yiheng realize that Yao Zhan was also single.

He remembered the day they were at the hotel. Yao Zhan was pretty virile and the last thing that came out was quite thick and sticky as well. Qu Yuheng didn’t think much about it at the time, but now that he thinks about it, perhaps it was because he hadn’t done it for a long time.

The old men in their thirties had not only been abandoned by the times, but also by their sex life.

Thinking so, Qu Yiheng smiled.

He scrolled down again, but never saw any reply from Yao Zhan.

As far as he could remember, Yao Zhan was actually quite cool, the kind teenager with a bit of a gangster attitude, smoking and fighting at the age of seventeen or eighteen. The seemingly bad boy actually has good grades.

He was very popular with girls and all the boys in school were jealous of him.

‘I don’t know if he’s still like that now,’ thinking Qu Yiheng turned off his mobile phone and buried himself back under the blanket.

He lay on the bed until it was dark before getting up, sighing that he had ended up sleeping in American time.

After washing his face, he felt hungry, dizzy and didn’t want to go downstairs for dinner.

He went to the balcony for a breeze, and he felt that there was no cigarette in his hand.

He had to go downstairs, so he forced himself to go out.

Even in the summer, the city was still sweltering at night, and within a few steps he was covered in sweat.

He went to the convenience store and bought a five-pack of instant noodles. After thinking about it, he took two cartons of milk for himself. Finally, he asked for two packs of cigarettes from the cashier and took out his mobile phone to pay.

After paying by WeChat, he inevitably saw the class group again, and just happened to catch up with Yao Zhan to speak.

Yao Zhan said, “We’ll talk about it later, I’m busy.

‘What kind of work is he doing? For being busy like this.’

Qu Yiheng was walking back with his bag when he came across a chubby little corgi dog that was following him. He simply squatted down and teased the dog for a while.

He was playing enthusiastically with the puppy when a girl came running over in a hurry, holding a leash to walk the dog. When she saw the dog there, she breathed a sigh of relief and said, “I was just about to put the leash on you and you ran away, I was scared to death!”

The girl knelt down to tie the leash to the dog and thanked Qu Yiheng.

Qu Yiheng smiled and said nothing, and went home with his things.

Yao Zhan has been really busy lately, dealing with the head of his unit while dealing with the head of the family.

The day after meeting Shao Wei, their vice president came to the pediatrics department and asked Yao Zhan, “By the way, Is Yao in his thirties this year? Are you still single?”

Yao Zhan didn’t expect the old man to suddenly care about his personal problems, so he respectfully replied, “I just passed my 33rd birthday, I’m fine on my own.”

This was from the bottom of his heart, and he hoped that the other person would feel his sincerity. After all, most people usually start to say, “Hey, my relative’s child so-and-so is quite suitable for you. I will introduce you both someday. Get to know each other.”

Yao Zhan was really afraid of this, especially if the person who said this was their vice president, what should he do?

Sometimes you have to die if God wants you to die. The vice president seemed to be completely unable to hear how sincere Yao Zhan’s words were just now, and instead said, “You young people are just trying to be strong, no matter how good you are, there’s a need for a partner in life.”

Yao Zhan was about to find an excuse to get out, but before he could find an excuse, before he could find an excuse, the vice president already said, “My niece came back from abroad last week, I’ll introduce you to her someday. She’s the same age and has the same education as you, Isn’t it good?”

The young doctor next to his department was envious, but after the vice president said this, the jealousy of Yao Zhan inside his heart did not subsided, and a blister has formed in his mouth.

Yao Zhan could have put up with the pressure if it had been the vice president alone, but his mother had also called.

“When are you going to tell me about your girlfriend?” Yao Zhan’s mother said, “I met Shao Wei’s wife at the supermarket yesterday, and her baby is already so big.”

“Everyone has their own way of living,” Yao Zhan said, “I’m doing fine here.”

Often, it’s useless to say you’re doing well, as others have their own way of looking at things.

“Fine my ass.” Yao Zhan’s mother was a very powerful woman, and Yao Zhan had never been afraid of anyone but his mother since he was a child.

But sometimes, there are things that you can’t just bow down to if you’re afraid.

Yao Zhan doesn’t like women. He doesn’t have any desire for a woman. It’s really not possible to talk about love when he is together with his friends.

He just likes men and can only kiss and have sex with them.

He hadn’t told his mother about these things. For thirty-three years, he had been hiding them. It was not that he was afraid of anything, but because he was afraid that his mother would not be able to bear it and would fall ill.

‘I’ve never been afraid of the sky falling in my twenties, but in my thirties, there are things I don’t care about, but there are more things I care about.’

Just the last time, his mother went to her colleague’s funeral, she was stunned for half a month. And if he let her know about his own affairs, he might not know what would happen.

There is an old saying, “there are three ways to be unfilial; having no sons is the worst” Although nowadays, this kind of thinking should have been banned long ago, the older generation still always think that men should be with women and men and women should have children together.

‘This kind of thinking had existed in their lives for a lifetime, so how difficult would it be for them to erase it all of a sudden?’

Yao Zhan couldn’t say anything, so he just kept it to himself for as long as he could.

On that day it was a holiday, So he went to bar ‘Y’ to escape from the quietness.

It was only in the evening, it was still dark, and there were a few people in the bar. As soon as he entered, he saw Xiao Mo at the bar with Yang Kan. When they saw him enter they asked in unison, “Where’s that handsome guy?”

Yao Zhan knocked on the table, “Wine.”

Xiao Mo snorted and turned to make him a drink.

Yang Kan came up to him, “What’s wrong? Did someone dump you?”

“Who?” Yao Zhan asked knowingly.

“What’s the name of that guy? The surname is quite special.

“Qu Yiheng!” Xiao Mo came back with the wine and looked at Yao Zhan with a smile, “That little brother is handsome and comfortable to look at.”

“Shut your mouth,” Yao Zhan took the wine and turned to the deck, “None of you need to think about it.”

He sat alone with his long legs on the sofa, drinking his wine and swiping the screen on his mobile phone.

In the past, Yao Zhan was quite annoyed with those people who rambled in the WeChat group all day long, many of whom were not together for so many years, so he didn’t know where they came from.

But since the last incident with Che Hao, he has been reading the group messages a lot. He knows what he is looking for, but it’s a pity that Qu Yiheng hardly shows up.

He remembered that the last time the two of them were here, they were sitting in this spot and Qu Yihneg was so drunk that he was knocked out.

He remembered Qu Yiheng’s pierced ears, his tattoos, and his wet lips.

Yao Zhan’s body reacted but he didn’t care.

He clicked on the list of group members, he searched for a long time and finally found Qu Yiheng’s name among dozens of others.

The person’s WeChat avatar looked like a blank drawing board with his name written on the bottom right of the board in beautiful letters.

Yao Zhan was a bit hesitant, not sure if he should add this friend.

“Fuck, you’re already in your thirties, why are you whining?”

Yao Zhan looked up and found that Yang Kan had come over at some point and was leaning on his couch looking at his phone.

“Shut your mouth.” Yao Zhan glared at him.

“I’ll shut up if you add him as a friend.” Yang Kan sipped his wine and laughed at him, “You’re a coward.”

When did Yao Zhan ever get such a comment? On impulse, he pressed ‘Add to address book’ and then threw his mobile phone to the side, “Tell Xiao Mo to make me another drink, no money unless it’s good!”