chapter 30: loving you

The drunk August tripped over her own feet as the woman pulled her up the stairs too fast for her to handle.

Willow led them to a room, and August could barely comprehend anything or even keep her eyes fully open while the woman opened the door and swung the girl inside more roughly than she should've, releasing her grip on her wrist at the wrong moment and sending the drunk girl falling onto the carpeted floor of what looked like a bedroom. August felt her skin crawl at the sound of the door slamming shut so hard that the walls shook. She didn't even want to look up at the woman who she could feel was standing over her and staring at her with demon eyes.

August groaned, picking her numb body off the floor and standing to her feet, not without stumbling a few times. She breathed hard, placing her left hand over her right elbow which had hit the ground kind of hard. She could feel her knees trembling, her fingers quivering as she stared at the floor, avoiding the woman's stare. She blinked nervously, flinching as she felt the woman take a few steps closer to her.

Willow froze, seeing the girl's reaction. Suddenly, all her anger that had been pulsing through her suddenly shattered like a glass wall that had been broken, the entire structure falling to the ground in a heap. Her eyes softened as she stared at the trembling girl who fearfully avoided her stare.

"August," she spoke, her voice coming out clipped and causing the girl to twitch. "I'm not going to hurt you," Willow said a little more gently, clenching her jaw. "No matter how incredibly pissed I may be."

"Pissed?" August mumbled, looking up at her as she ignored the forming bruise on her elbow. "I'm the only one that deserves to be pissed here," her voice lowered threateningly, a tone Willow was shocked to hear come from the girl whose gaze hardened. She didn't know if it was the alcohol injecting the girl with blind bravery or if she just wasn't afraid of the woman anymore.

"Don't be so selfish," Willow spoke firmly, but still in a calm voice.

"Selfish..." August repeated, suddenly feeling almost completely sober. "I'm the one who's selfish here?"

"Yes, August. After the stunt you pulled in Texas, I've realized your mentality of the world is that it revolves around you," Willow snapped, her cool green eyes digging under August's.

August took a step closer. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" she began, so many words forming in her head that she almost felt overwhelmed. Nonetheless, she spoke with clarity and anger. "You are the one who, first of all, plucked me from my life by kidnapping me, physically abusing me and throwing me around like some toy, then you just leave me on the fucking road in Texas like I'm trash you just discarded."

"You wanted me to leave," Willow quickly retorted, her eyes narrowing. "And you already know why I had to kidnap you. The fact that you don't understand is what makes you so fucking selfish." Willow took a step closer, and she could see August's confidence visibly falter as the girl realized just how much the woman towered over her, her stone cold eyes boring into hers as she took in Willow's unceasingly controlling composure.

The woman oozed power and authority that made even the feisty August step down as her voice lowered. "You wouldn't even give yourself a chance to believe me when I told you that I was not planning on killing you. Yes, in the beginning I was, but you were no more to me than a fucking mouth that would say something to somebody and end up getting me and my gang killed. What I did and what I planned was to protect myself. And you must be one lucky bastard that I didn't shoot you that day in the cave. You have seen my dark side, but you have seen more of my mercy than anyone on this earth ever has. I allowed you, a risk in my safety, to continue to live. I even gave you freedom. I allowed you to go back to Texas to see your family, to sleep without handcuffs while I slept next to you with a loaded gun in the same room. You could have easily ran away or killed me in my sleep. I gave you more freedom and showed you more vulnerability than I have to anyone else in this world. I fell in love with you, August." Her voice cracked, and the woman bit her lip and inwardly cursed at her eyes for threatening to spill over with tears. "I fell in love with you, but you saw a stupid fucking text from the dumbfuck Darragh, overreacted, and wouldn't even give me a chance to explain myself. You acted like I was the monster you met that night in the alleyway, not the person who loved you and protected you and changed just for you." Willow turned away, her chest heaving up and down as her trouble eyes stared mindlessly at the floor. She ran a hand through her black waves. "The most selfish thing in the world is to treat someone who has truly changed just for you, as if they are really a monster."

Her eyes flickered up to the girl, and the girl's already parted lips fell open even more as she saw the streaks of tears lining the woman's face. She had never seen Willow fully cry before, and it shocked her. The woman's now red eyes looked at her almost pleadingly, her green irises brighter than they had ever been.

"I'm sorry," August mumbled, "I'm so sorry." She stepped closer, placing her hand on Willow's arm. "I was selfish," she admitted, "I was a fucking brat. I should've listened to you and let you explain yourself. I overreacted like a fucking drama queen and I caused all this pain. I'm so sorry," she whispered. Whatever traces of drunkenness that had previously been in her was now completely vanished, the raw emotion and vulnerability coursing through the air around them sobering her up quickly.

Willow stared at the girl, drinking in her beauty but also the sincerity in her voice and dark blue eyes. All her life she always found it hard to forgive people and easy to hold grudges, but she could not hold anything against the girl whose soft hand sent tingles up her tatted arm. Her heart melted, feeling warmth inside her as she finally realized that she was up close to the girl, face to face after a whole week of thinking she would never see her again.

"I'm sorry," August repeated, her eyes pleading Willow's. Her lip trembled as she stared up at the woman she loved, wondering why she could ever for even a second mistrust her and the look in her eyes as she stared down at her lovingly, even through her tears that August caused.

It was in a swift motion that Willow placed two hands on the girl's waist and pulled her close, an air draft forming with the speed at which their bodies crashed together, and Willow pressed her lips to the girl's. She couldn't resist August any longer, and that was her answer to the girl's apologies.

August found forgiveness in the woman's kiss, and she felt as if every emotion that she had been feeling the past six days had just all exploded within her and then fell into place, a peace settling in her chest as she felt Willow hold her tightly against her and devour her lips with such passion.

Willow whimpered, surprising August, as she placed her hand on the girl's face and kissed her harder, cupping her jaw while she took in the girl's taste as if it was the nectar she'd been searching for for a thousand years.

They pulled away, breathless and panting, pressing their foreheads together while they stared at each other's lips. "I missed that so much," August said, staring at the woman's puffy lips as she relished in her scent of cherry Coke and cigarettes. She felt like she had come home after a long journey, a comfort rushing over her and causing her to place her hands on Willow's broad shoulders and pull her even closer.

"I love you so much," Willow breathed out in a rush, not being able to hold it back any longer. She pulled her forehead away, staring into the girl's deep blue eyes that looked sedated.

A smile tugged at August's lips, her eyes filling with warmth as all her anxieties washed away at those words. "I love you so much more," she replied, her smile turning into a grin which the woman returned. She stared at the woman's pearly smile, wondering how she could ever live again without seeing it.

"My beautiful kidnapper," August spoke, reaching her hand up to stroke Willow's soft face.

The woman chuckled, placing her hand over August's and nuzzling her face into it, turning slightly to kiss the girl's palm which caused the girl's cheeks to burn. "My beautiful hostage." Her eyes flickered open, looking like pools of emerald threatening to drip right out of her irises.

"How did we get here?" August whispered, almost shocking herself. They had never really talked out loud about the irony surrounding their predicament, although they were both well-aware of it.

"My love," Willow whispered, the nickname causing August's chest to be filled with butterflies, "Destiny does not wait for anyone, nor does it discriminate against circumstance." Her voice was serious, the silence in the room suddenly loud and penetrated by the honesty they were finally sharing with one another. "One way or another we would have found one another. Whether it have been in a grocery store as two normal people, or whether it was how it really was for us, as two people from two different worlds, our paths would have crossed either way, and along with that, all of our stars would have aligned. It took a bit for ours to align, but my God, they did," Willow spoke, her voice turning husky as she stared at her love. She decided to say out loud what was on her mind. "I don't want to ever be without you." She scanned her eyes over the girl's face as if trying to engrave it in her brain, the girl's own expression one of pure mesmerization as to how she deserved to cross paths with someone like Willow—someone so elegant, poised, strong, intelligent, loving, and beautiful.

"Then don't," August whispered, leaning up and brushing her lips against the woman's. She leaned back slightly, her eyes locking with Willow's. "Make a promise to me," her voice lowered.

Willow paused, searching the girl's face before she answered without hesitation, "Anything."

August reached her hand up, stroking a strand of soft black hair behind the woman's ear, listening to her shaky breaths of anticipation and her heart that she could hear beating through her chest. "Never leave." She froze, her eyes gazing into her lover's with pure seriousness. Her words tampered along the lines of commanding and pleading. "No matter what happens. I never want to be without you again." She bit her quivering lip. "Please, Willow," she croaked, her tone now swimming in the ocean of pleas.

Willow quickly pressed her lips to August's, her nostrils again filling with the girl's French vanilla scent. She pulled away, looking into August's eyes as she spoke four words that she had never meant more in her whole life. She bound these words to her heart, to her soul, to her whole existence. "I will never leave you."

August believed her, the sincerity in the woman's eyes giving her all the assurance she needed. She then threw herself into her arms, crashing their lips together as they finally felt free of all the stress and anxiety and pain that they had both experienced in each other's absence the past six days. They kissed each other with passion, as if it was their very last kiss.

They only pulled away when they suddenly heard multiple loud bangs, sounding like gunshots. August gasped, her eyes widening as she started to panic. Her mind raced as she stared at Willow, waiting for her to panic with her.

"Easy, tiger," Willow spoke, a smirk playing at her lips. "It's fireworks," she reassured August, trailing her hand down the girl's warm cheek. She loved the way her skin was always so warm and inviting. It was something that she had always found herself most attracted to about the girl.

August breathed out, remembering that it was New Year's Eve. "Right," she mumbled, smiling sheepishly up at the woman who coolly smiled back.

Willow slowly released herself from their embrace, walking over to the window and lifting the blinds to reveal a sky full of bright colors, different explosions lighting up the night sky with each bang and pop.

August walked over to the woman, standing next to her as they both watched the fireworks in awe. But Willow couldn't help but sneak a look at the girl who stared so cutely up at the sky. She was in love with the girl's mind and its interests. She loved the way the girl loved everything beautiful and found a way to see everything in a beautiful way, even her. Willow had always felt like a monster, but August looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Smiling at her thoughts, Willow turned her body to August and took a gentle hold of her waist, turning the smaller girl towards her. She leaned down, nuzzling her face into August's soft neck and smiling as she felt the girl wrap her arms around her shoulders. She pressed soft kisses to the girl's neck, enjoying the way she shivered every time her lips touched her skin.

Willow suddenly bit, inciting a soft gasp from the girl as she took her sensitive skin between her teeth and let go, then sucking the same spot on the girl's neck as her hands gripped her slim waist harder. August tilted her neck back to expose it even more, closing her eyes as the sound of the fireworks faded from her focus.

Willow slid her hand down the girl's waist and around to her ass, cupping it in her hand as she knowingly left love bites on August's neck. She could feel the girl's body push closer to hers in satisfaction, and this caused Willow to grunt. She could feel lust sneaking its way into her veins.

"Willow," August spoke breathlessly, tangling her hands in the woman's hair.

The woman grunted in response, trailing her lips down the girl's collarbone as her hand squeezed her ass harder.

August shuddered at the feeling of the woman's low grunt against her neck. She pressed her body even closer to her, just wanting absolutely zero space between them.

"I'm yours," she whispered into her ear, and Willow could feel her eyes darken and her center become wet at the girl's words. "Take me," she continued, tugging at her hair with neediness. All she wanted, all she needed, was the woman to lay her down and make love to her.

Willow felt the girl so close to her, relishing in feeling her body so close again. "Your wish is my command," she spoke before suddenly lifting August up, the girl instinctively wrapping her legs around the tall woman's hips as she walked them over to the bed, throwing the girl down and letting herself fall on top of her. They both chuckled, lights glinting in their eyes even though the room was dark. Their lips connected again, this time the older woman's tongue slipping inside the girl's mouth without even asking permission first.

Their glorious moments that proceeded were immensely different than the first time they had made love. This time, it was more intimate, more special, more fervent. There was something in the air that made them feel like they had to savor it, to memorize every feeling and take in as much of each other's bodies as they possibly could.

Something in the air told them it might be their last time.