26: RELATIONSHIP

DELILAH

“You can’t just try and force me to quit my job, and offer a job AND move in with you. It’s too much!” I thundered, pounding my fist on the table. Finally saying my piece since we had opened discussions.

All of us had met up at their house for dinner for spaghetti, one of my stress-eating foods Seth and Cole had both begun to understand about me since I had it so rarely in my childhood. The meal being one of my dad's least favorites.

“You had another job and didn’t tell us?” Seth countered, raising a patient eyebrow, swinging garlic bread in my direction accusingly. “Knowing Cole has trust issues and can act… irrationally like we’ve talked about?”

“You didn’t exactly put it that way but…” I pressed my lips together. Remembering what he had said about the binge drinking and his body art among other things in our conversations. He hadn’t mentioned how forceful he could be in his line of thinking. “I don’t think we, us, we—we’re all that serious,” I said, trying to gesture around the table at us all. “It hasn’t even been three months just yet and I only just started struggling. I didn’t want you to know because I thought you’d try and make me quit. Which ~you~ did!” I said accusingly, pointing my fork at Cole.

“It was a reaction. If you had told me you wanted a job and the reasons why or even just let me know you had had one instead of blowing me off—”

“I didn’t blow you off!” I repeated in an exasperated tone, swinging around my fork and dropping it. Seth sighed, passing over his before getting up to grab a new pair for himself. A gesture that I couldn’t help but appreciate even if I didn’t seem to in the moment, still fueled by my interrogation with Cole.

“You lied and changed plans suddenly. Without me having any clue why. After no longer spending as much time with me. Then I figured out it was both of us. So I assumed you were seeing someone else. Sue me.”

“So ask!” I was exasperated at the very thought of trying to handle yet another man. How could he not see that?

“I did ask. You just said you’d get back to me later. I waited three days and even texted you twice, all my calls went to voicemail and I was on call twenty-three before I hunted you down outside the store. You want to call me ~irrational~? I was concerned considering the hovel you live in!”

Seth leaned back, chomping on his bread as he absorbed the events. His face evident with surprise about what had happened. “You know I did notice you hadn’t replied to a few of my texts but you were at the bookstore without your phone yesterday. Did something happen?” Out of the three of us, his tone was calm, keeping Cole and I from escalating to screaming I imagined.

The guilt crept up my cheeks as I stared at my feet, not wanting to answer. Knowing I had to. Knowing the backlash. “I need to replace it, the newsroom gave me an emergency one for work purposes only for now. Allen helped me out.”

The words were quick. Half mumbled. I knew I wasn’t guiltless, but I was just trying to survive on my own. Asking them for help, in my mind, was out of the question.

“Delilah,” Seth said softly, chiding me as he shook his head.

Cole was more than a little pained, raking his hands through his hair, shaking his head. As if really unsure what to do with me. “I want to beat your ass until it’s cherry red, make you scream until you can’t call for help or can’t leave the bed for a fucking week you fucking—agh! How the fuck do I take care of you if you’re going to pull this? Know you’re ok? Or you’re not just leaving?”

“Cole, don’t yell at her. Take some air if you’re going to be an asshole.”

“Fuck you and your air. I just want to know she’s safe and still ours. Is that too much to ask when you’re falling in love with someone? To know they’re alright and still care about you?”

His last words finally broke what had already been crumbling at his reaction. Even though it was a sexually violent reference… the irrational reasoning behind the thought pierced my heart. Cole’s words driving the point even further with each word.

“You’re… falling in love with me?” Tears were falling and my smile was broken as I looked at him. Feeling cared for and lonely all at the same time. The dam breaking.

Two pairs of warm arms came around me, but it was Cole’s chest I sobbed into as he kissed the top of my head. “You shouldn’t be blind that we’re both already smitten with you, Delilah,” Seth murmured, stroking my hair.

Cole pulled back, tilting my chin up to give me a penetrating look. “If you really want to stand on your own feet that’s fine, but let us help somewhere so we can spend more time with you. Or at least get some security for your apartment if you’re not willing to move immediately. It’s not safe here.”

I tried not to roll my eyes, but I did give a small sigh. “I’m not moving in, I’ll think about security. We can talk about the rest. Alright? I’m sorry I didn’t communicate. With either of you,” I added, turning my head back at Seth and locking eyes for a moment. “I’ll try to do better.” My last words softer as I met my eyes with Cole’s once more.