CH 27
I Was a Good Person, and Then a Lot of Things Betrayed Me
A week had passed since that day when I called Himari.
I hadnât been able to go to Shirakiâs place yet.
I remembered that day.
The day I was betrayed by Shiraki.
I was really hurt at that time.
At that time, I really loved Shiroki, even though I said she was a liar and deceitful.
Thatâs why I canât forgive what Shiraki did and I feel disgusted.
But I still think that I canât go on like this.
So I made up my mind.
I decided to go to Shirakiâs house today.
Shirakiâs house was located in a slightly secluded area about a 15-minute walk from my house.
I got a little lost because of the complicated location.
I was drenched in sweat.
I stood in front of the door and pressed the intercom.
Then I heard footsteps coming from inside the house, which gradually got louder and louder until they stopped in front of the door.
Then the door in front of me was opened.
âYes, who isâ¦itâ
There was Shiraki, dressed in short sleeves and half pants.
I felt awkward as I spoke to her.
âY-yo.â
Shiraki looked away awkwardly.
âL-long time no see! W-Whatâs going on?â
Without any intention, I told Shiraki what I wanted to do, though it might not be as important as I thought it was.
âI came here today to talk to Shiraki.â
âHow do you know where I live?â
Shiraki asked me with deep curiosity.
âOh, thatâs what Himari told me.â
I tell him the truth as it is.
âShirakawa-san? How does she know where I live?â
Eh? Shiraki didnât tell Himari?
How did she know Shirakiâs house?
â¦â¦Well whatever.
âIs it okay?â
âAh, yeah. Come inside.â
Shiraki told me to come inside, and she let me in.
When I entered the house, I felt a cool breeze from the air conditioner.
Then she led me into the living room.
âOh, my parents are at work today.â
Shiraki said, looking a little nervous for some reason.
I called out to her.
âShiraki, I canât forgive you.â
ââ¦.U-uhmâ
Shiraki is troubled.
Well, of course she is.
That was my fault.
âNo, Iâm sorry. I didnât say enough.â
I said that and spun my words.
âI canât forgive you for stepping on peopleâs feelings.â
Immediately Shirakiâs expression darkened.
âYes, right. Iâm really sorry. Why did I do that?â
Shiroki laughed as if she was mocking himself.
âYeah, Shiraki. You really are the worst of the worst.
I finished.
I said this in a cold, low voice.
âY-yes I know. I really am a piece of s**t, arenât I?â
Shiraki looked as if she was about to start crying.
âI told you before, I will never forgive you.â
Yes, I canât forgive her.
Shiraki finally started to cry.
âBut I donât think I have to forgive you.â
ââ¦.Eh? What do you mean?â
Right
There is no need to forgive. Because we can start a relationship now.
âIt means exactly what I said. I canât forgive you.â
âA-Ahahahaâ¦..I really hate myselfâ¦.â
Shirakiâs eyes kept dripping with tears.
âSo, letâs start a relationship right here and now.â
ââ¦.Eh?â
Shiraki looks stunned.
What is that?
I canât help but laugh.
âShiraki, you admitted earlier that youâre a trash, didnât you?
ââ¦.. Yeah.â
âBut Iâm even more of a piece of s**t than that. Iâve been turning away from the people around me and running away from myself until now. I blamed the people around me for that, and even when I thought they didnât understand me, I didnât make any effort to make them understand me.â
I talk like Iâm talking to myself.
âI think it was your fault in the beginning, but I also think itâs my fault for not trying to improve the relationship from there.â
Shiraki looked up.
âNo, you got it wrong! Itâs all my fault! Shinzaki-kun is not to blame!â
Maybe thatâs true, but I knew it wasnât right.
I said to Shiraki in a calm tone of voice,
âNo, Shiraki. It may be true that Shiraki was the first one to be at fault, but I did something terrible to Shiraki, too. At that time, I didnât think it was a bad thing. I felt rather refreshed. I was the worst, wasnât I?â
I say with a bitter smile.
Why didnât I understand that it was a bad thing at that time?
âBut you donât have to forgive me either, Shiraki. So why donât you and I start a new chapter now?â
Shiraki turned her tear-stained face to me.
âAre you sure? Are you sure you want to start a chapter with me now?â
âYes, please.â
Shiraki burst into more tears.
âYes, yes!â
Shiraki responded with a burst of tears.
Seeing Shiraki like that made me laugh.
Shiraki stopped crying and said
âWell, Shinzaki-kun, please take care of me from now on, okay?â
âYeah, nice to meet you.â
After we finished talking, I decided to go home and headed for the front door.
âThen, Iâm going home.â
âOkay, see you later.â
I opened the front door and started walking home.
âHey, Shinzaki-kun.â
Shiraki called out to me from behind.
âWhat is it?â
I turned around to see what was wrong.
Then Shiraki looked at me as if peering at me from below.
âMy feelings for Shinzaki-kun are serious, and that wonât change in the relationship weâre about to start.â
Shiraki blushed a little and stuck out her tongue in a mischievous manner.
I was a little nervous, but I was not surprised.
âO-ouâ
I could only reply in that way, but I turned my face away from Shirakiâs gaze as if to escape.