CH 19
I Was a Good Person, and Then a Lot of Things Betrayed Me
ââââ-Andâââand so.â
Right now, in front of my eyes, the principal is talking at length about something that is not very interesting.
Yes, today is the last day of school.
Tomorrow, summer vacation will finally begin.
Ordinary high school students would be happy and excited, but I didnât feel anything in particular.
I know Iâm a piece of sh*t.
Thatâs why I donât get involved with people, and I donât want to.
Finally, the principalâs long talk was over and I was able to return to the classroom.
I was lying on my desk.
At the podium, my homeroom teacher began to speak.
She explained about the cautions and assignments during the summer vacation, something that no one really hears much about.
It was over and school let out earlier than usual.
I was leaving the classroom to go home when I was approached by a voice.
âShinzaki, come to the student guidance office.â
Ah, itâs been a while.
There was Satozaki-sensei.
âWhy?â
âJust come.â
I was summoned without being told the reason, and I went to the student guidance office with a sense of dissatisfaction.
Still going to say something about the broadcast?
I open the door and enter the room.
Above the door, which was attached to the room, were the words, âStudent Guidance Office.
âHere I am.â
âSit down there.â
Satozaki-sensei pointed to a chair in front of me and told me to sit down.
I did as I was told and sat down in the chair and called out to Satozaki-sensei.
âSo, why did you call me?â
âDo you really think you can keep doing this?â
âWhat do you mean by that?â
âI mean your character.â
Thinking that Seo had asked me a similar question before.
âI think itâs fine the way it is.â
Satozaki-sensei let out a sigh.
âHaa, Shinzaki. You really think so?â
âYes, I really do.â
âItâs not okay.â
And why should anyone other than me tell me that?
Iâm the one who decides that, arenât I?
âWhy is it up to you to decide that?â
I continue.
âIâm the one who decides that, no? So why do you get to decide that?â
âIâm saying this for your sake.â
âFor me? Donât make me laugh.â
âIf youâre thinking for my sake, please be quiet already.â
âWha, Shinzaki! You!â
I interrupted her and started to speak.
âSensei, why did you decide to become a teacher?â
âHa? That question is irrelevant right now.â
âJust answer the question.â
I look straight at the teacher and she answered.
âWhen I was in high school, I met someone I could call a mentor. He saved me when I was going through a hard time. I wanted to be like that person and save people who were suffering like me, so I started my teaching career.â
The teacher answered with a look of nostalgia for the past.
âSensei, I, you know.â
That is why I said with a smile on my face when I heard her answer.
âI wish such a profession as a teacher would just disappear.â
At that moment, the teacher was on the verge of tears.
Still, I continued.
âI was in a lot of pain at that time. But instead of saving me, Sensei pushed me further into a corner. You said you heard Shirakiâs feelings, but you favor Shirakiâs side. So thatâs the kind of teacher you were talking about.â
Sensei fell silent and cried.
âWhat are you crying about? Iâm the one who wants to cry. I didnât have any allies around me, and all I got was blame.â
âShinzaki, Iâm really, really sorry.â
The teacher said this to me while crying.
âSensei, I didnât bring this up because I wanted to you to hear me say those words. I just wanted you to regret it. It was a small revenge, so to speak. Then, please stay out of my life from now on.â
âAh, wait Shinzaki!â
I still didnât listen and left the student guidance office.
[Hiyuu! You tell her!]
Shut up.
[Isnât this good! You feel better now, donât you?]
Not at all.
[Donât lie to me, youâre smiling, arenât you?]
My face was contorted in unintentional amusement.
[You really are a piece of sh*t! Hahaha!]
Yeah, I know.
I canât go back.
Iâm going to live my life wearing the mask of a piece of sh*t.
[Thatâs right! Thatâs the way!]
Yes, that is the way.