Chapter 33

On Saturday night, Graham texted me. He told me they had won the game and were heading home on Sunday. He confessed he couldn’t wait to see me again, that he missed me.

While I read his messages, I felt a sharp, hot snap in my chest. I missed him a lot. I couldn’t wait to hug him and celebrate his win.

I couldn’t wait to say the words to his face.

I had a feeling I would chicken out, but I couldn’t stop thinking about them. They wouldn’t leave my mind. I kept obsessing over Graham and his face when I told him.

How would he react? What would he say?

Whatever the answer, I had a feeling that once I saw him and his smile and dimples, and his smoldering eyes, I would blurt them out. I wouldn’t be able to keep them down.

On Sunday, I was itchy. I wanted the day to go by quickly so I could see Graham.

When I arrived at the community center, I kept thinking about him and what he was up to. He must be on the bus on the way home to see me. My heart increased its thuds at the thought.

For the first part of the morning, I was all smiley but impatient. I was in a good mood but aching for the minutes to crawl faster. Time was relative; when you needed it to pass fast, it went slowly. When you wanted it to stop for a second, in a blink, minutes and hours had passed.

I was packing clothes for boys aged three to five when I glanced up and saw Rosie approaching me. She smiled at me.

And over Rosie’s shoulder, Jacob was staring at me, again. It was like last Sunday when he’d studied and tracked my every movement. I had ignored him then and decided to do the same today.

“That smile,” Rosie said when she stood in front of my table. “I guess that means you gave the guy a chance.”

I chuckled, feeling my cheeks turning pink. I nodded. “I did.”

“Ah, to be young and crushing hard on boys again,” she said with a whistle. “I can’t wait for my babies to go through it. Maybe then, they’ll be too busy trying to catch the eye of the guy they like instead of making messes.”

I smiled, shaking my head. “I have a feeling it won’t be as peaceful and restful.”

“Oh, it won’t. You know the two of them.” Rosie shuddered. “They are going to give me a heart attack any day.”

I laughed softly.

Throughout the day, I kept texting Graham. He updated me on his whereabouts, and I told him about what I was doing. I explained the process of boxing the clothes, getting them ready for next month’s delivery, and storing them. I also told him about the toys for Christmas and the extra clothes we managed to gather for Thanksgiving.

We agreed that once Graham was close to the city, he’d text me and we would agree on a place to meet. He said he didn’t even want to arrive home first to change or sleep. He wanted to come straight to me.

I melted and swooned when I read the message.

Graham

I won’t be able to resist sputtering out those words.

I was thankful he turned down my offering of meeting after he had settled in. I was desperate to see him too.

When community service ended, I collected my things and headed home. Only a few hours before Graham arrived.

On my way out, Jacob stopped me.

“Hazel.”

I glanced over my shoulder and was surprised he was talking to me at all. He’d been avoiding me for a long while like the plague and then, he kept staring at me but never said anything. I thought we’d never have a chat again.

As he approached me, I noticed the exhaustion in his eyes and the lines of concern etched on his face. He pressed his lips together, a sign of guilt and distraught. Something inside me clenched for him—sympathy.

“Hey,” I answered, halting and swirling around to face him.

“Hey…” He trailed off and seemed nervous to talk. I sensed something was off. Maybe something bad was going on in his life and he was hesitant to confide in me. Maybe he believed after the breakup, he could never talk to me again.

I wanted to assuage his pain. Despite the lack of closure, he had been a great friend and confidant. If he wanted, we could continue being friends. I believed I was more than ready since there weren’t any more romantic feelings involved. Nor feelings of regret, shame, or discontent.

“Can we talk?” he asked. He might feel the same as I did and thought he could find a trusty ear in me.

“Sure,” I said, hoping he trusted in me. When we broke up, I didn’t only mourn the loss of my boyfriend, but one of my best friends.

He swallowed, looking down and playing with his fingers. “How are you?” he asked after a moment and looked at me.

I blinked at him. “I’m good. You?” I pushed softly.

“Not so good, to be honest.”

I could see it. He was stressed and worn out. I frowned in concern. “Something’s wrong?”

He was silent for a moment before nodding. “Yes.” He opened his mouth again but couldn’t speak. I gave him a break. He rubbed his hand against his forehead. Then he connected his gaze with mine. “I want to apologize first.”

His words gave me hope for our friendship.

“About the breakup,” he explained when I didn’t speak. “For giving you the weak excuse of not being compatible. I’m really sorry, Hazel.” He meant it. Jacob was the most earnest man I’d ever known. “I never wanted to cause you any pain.”

“Then why didn’t you say that? What was really wrong?” I asked, not angry but confused and curious.

He scowled. “I didn’t want to lie to you.”

My heart stopped at his words. They sounded menacing.

“Yet I did lie to you at the end when I said I wanted to break up with you. When I said it was time to move on.”

I was dumbfounded by his explanation. I wasn’t understanding much of what he was saying. It didn’t make sense. He didn’t want to lie but did it anyway? Why? What did he lie about?

I was lost.

“What do you mean, Jacob?” I frowned at him, tilting my head to the side. “I don’t understand.”

Jacob pressed his lips together and fisted his hands in anger and frustration. He exhaled loudly.

“I broke up with you because Graham St. Claire made me do it.”