Chapter 24

I could only blink at him. “Not because I wanted to. I never wanted to break up with you, much less if it meant hurting you—”

And he kept talking as the words sank in. My heart froze. I barely grasped what Jacob was saying because I was processing. Graham forced Jacob to do it.

But Graham wouldn’t do that…

Once Jacob opened his mouth, he didn’t stop, sharing explanations and truths he’d been hiding for the past months.

I shut my eyes, trying to focus. My head was spinning. “Wait, Jacob.” I raised my hand. “Graham made you do it?”

He nodded in a slow and solemn manner. “Yes, you know how…how aggressive he can be when he wants something done.”

I knew what he was talking about: Past Graham, the one who had bullied Jacob since freshman year. Though a few were small pranks and he hadn’t physically hurt Jacob, Graham had pushed and tormented him. He had damaged Jacob’s belongings, like his car wheels, or threw his books on the floor or around the room. He had distracted Jacob during class by throwing meaningless stuff like small paper balls or parts of an eraser. He had managed to put Jacob in detention once.

Jacob had never said anything and suffered in silence, praying for Graham’s souls and salvation. More than once, I had wanted to step in and stop Graham. Jacob halted me every time, saying it was useless. He was convinced there was a mission they were given on this Earth and lessons to learn, and once they learned, they’d feel sorry and ask for forgiveness for all the wrong they’d done.

At the reminder of Past Graham, I felt a stab through my chest.

Denial clung to me. Graham was sweet and thoughtful.

~And he has been a bully for the past three years. Just because he has shown kindness to me, it didn’t mean he wasn’t capable of being bad too.~

I was finding it hard to breathe.

Why would Graham do this?

I kept searching my brain for explanations but only ended up with a headache.

“He said I should keep it quiet, that I couldn’t tell a soul about it or he’d—” Jacob interrupted my thoughts as my head was overwhelmed with thoughts I didn’t process. “He’d punch me, and kick me, and hurt me. Bad.”

He cleared his throat, and my mouth gaped.

“I was a coward. I didn’t want to fight so I did it. But seeing you with him… Hazel, I’m scared for you. I’m scared of what he’s capable of, of what he can do. Of what he has planned, because he’s no good. He’s never been good. And I can’t bear the thought of knowing what he has done and allowing you to be with him, pretending to be good. He hadn’t physically bullied me since the start of the year, but he’s probably doing this to torment me even more, and he’s succeeding.”

A hand clenched my lungs and squeezed until I couldn’t breathe and was suffocating. My eyes prickled with tears.

~No, no, no, no, no.~

The more I tried to deny it, the more sense it made.

“Be careful,” Jacob grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “I don’t want you to get hurt again. You deserve the best.”

What he didn’t know was that he was killing me with his revelation. It hurt. A lot. It felt like a betrayal. What Jacob was saying made a lot of sense and it crumbled the new idea of what Graham was, only to reveal the Graham I had believed him to be all along. A deceiving asshole.

I had questioned it many times, his intentions and interest in me.

Graham had never noticed me before. Never. Not until I was crying, brokenhearted at a party, vulnerable, easy prey.

And then he was pushing me for more, wanting to be with me. Someone who could have anyone, someone who had wanted older girls. It was too much of a coincidence he wanted the same girl as the guy he had been bullying for the past three and a half years.

The constant and logical thing was that Graham had been hell-bent on ruining Jacob’s life. Of course, he was using me as one of the pieces that could hurt Jacob the most, seeing how Graham had never managed to provoke an emotion from Jacob. And what did a bully hate the most than being unable to cause pain to others?

Nothing. That was the worst thing you could do to a bully, not engage him, and ignore him. After all, bullying was to draw attention, to demand to be seen as strong and more important.

“I’m really sorry for not fighting, for not telling you earlier,” Jacob said in the middle of my mental meltdown.

I wanted to drop to my knees and give up. The pain was hard, and I didn’t want to hurt anymore.

I only managed to nod my head because emotions were colliding against each other, and if I managed to open my mouth, I was sure to cry. I didn’t want to cry for Graham, not after such cruel and cold manipulation.

He made me fall for him so he could hurt someone else.

The guy was cynical.

A small part of me, deep inside, wanted to think otherwise. That Jacob was mistaken, and Graham truly liked me, but all facts pointed to a different conclusion. They made more sense in the context of the past, and the realization was suffocating.

I swallowed my emotions for now and forced a smile. I thanked Jacob for his confession before storming from the place. I needed silence and solitude but needed distraction and noise too. I wanted to digest Jacob’s words and ponder every single interaction I’d had with Graham, but at the same time, I didn’t want to think of him at all, never again.

“Wait, Hazel,” Jacob stopped me once again by clutching my wrist. I almost shook him off and ran away. I was agitated. Instead, I closed my eyes and drooped my shoulders. “Are you okay?”

~I’m not okay. My heart’s been ripped out of my chest and put back in shattered and broken, torn and destroyed, poking at my ribs and lungs, digging in with each breath.~

I nodded, looking up and fighting the tears back. It was white noise in my head.

“Yes,” I croaked. “And thank you again, for telling me. Bye, Jacob.”

Jacob didn’t want to release me but saw the urgency in my face. He let me go. “Bye, Hazel. Call me if you need anything.”

I nodded again and walked away. My hands were shaking when I stopped a few blocks away and grabbed my phone from my bag. There was a new message from Graham.

~I’m about to jump from this fucking bus and run to you.~

I chuckled, mirthless.

Lies, lies, lies.

He made me fall in love with him so he could hurt Jacob. I wasn’t getting over it.

Graham must be amused at how naive I was, at how forgiving and easy. He’d managed to fuck the future minister’s girl. He had managed to make her fall for lies. He came up with different ideas to make Jacob hurt because Graham St. Claire was nothing but manipulative and cruel and a liar, selfish, and careless.

Despicable.

I clenched my jaw, feeling anger fueling my actions. I blocked his number, wanting to erase him from my life.

In a few hours, once he realized I had stopped replying to his lies, he’d know something was wrong and he’d know what it was.