The Same Monster

AYA

Caroline and Anthony were already seated at the small table when we arrived. Anthony’s face lit up with a grin as he saw us approach.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

“Very well,” I replied, moving swiftly toward him. Alexander, however, remained rigid by my side.

“I bet you did!” Anthony teased, standing up to embrace me. I returned his hug, wrapping my arms around his waist and squeezing tightly.

“Enough,” I chided him playfully as he squeezed me back. Alexander cleared his throat, prompting me to step back from Anthony.

Anthony, however, kept his arm draped over my shoulders, earning a glare from Alexander. Caroline, seated directly across from me, shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

“Alex, you remember Anthony, right? He’s a good friend of mine,” I reminded him.

“I remember,” Alexander responded, his tone flat.

Anthony gave my shoulder a comforting squeeze before letting go. I moved back into Alexander’s waiting arms, his chin resting gently on the top of my head.

“He used to work at the manor,” Caroline added, her gaze avoiding mine.

Caroline had always been a striking girl, her bright blonde hair and deep blue eyes radiating confidence. Her current shyness was a new side of her I hadn’t seen before.

“I know,” Alexander replied. “He was my grandfather’s personal guard.”

Caroline looked surprised. “He’s been protecting me,” she continued, her eyes meeting Anthony’s.

He nodded in agreement.

“Have a seat,” Anthony gestured toward the table. “We’re safe here for now. It will take them more than a night to regroup if they plan on coming after us.”

I frowned slightly but allowed Alexander to guide me to the table. We sat across from them, Alexander and Caroline glaring at each other.

A tense silence filled the room, broken abruptly by Alexander’s outburst.

“What the fuck, Caroline?” he spat. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

Caroline’s eyes flashed a fiery red as she bristled at his words.

“I was thinking I’d take back what’s mine!” she retorted, slamming her hand on the table. The wood groaned and cracked under the force. Anthony winced, but neither Alexander nor Caroline seemed to notice.

“Because no one else was doing anything!”

“We were all serving our banishment,” Alexander countered.

“And what was I being banished for?”

“For this exact reason!” Alexander shot back. “To stop you from going after the queen!”

“She’s not my queen,” Caroline retorted.

“Yes, she is,” Alexander insisted.

“What kind of queen leaves her people to starve? To wither away?” she hissed.

Alexander’s expression darkened. “We weren’t starving.”

“You weren’t! Because you kept sneaking out to drain and turn servants! But I was!”

“What?” I interjected, confused.

Caroline turned to me. “Yeah, he decided that he was the only one allowed to sneak out, not me, no ~I~ wasn’t allowed. So ~he~ was the only one who could drain anyone, the only one who got an actual fulfilling meal in fifty ~fucking~ years!” she shouted, turning back to face her brother.

I stared at Alexander, taken aback. He winced, clearly affected by her words.

Turning more servants? After they had been freed? After the queen had made it illegal to forcefully turn humans into servants?

“What is she talking about? Did you keep turning people? After we were all set free? You just made more of us?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

I thought of all the turned vampires he’d abandoned, the ones he’d drained and left in the servant’s quarters without any explanation or guidance. The ones I’d taken under my wing, helping them navigate their new lives. The ones who had wreaked havoc on the manor when they were set free.

Caroline froze, her eyes wide. Anthony just grimaced, leaning back in his chair.

Alexander turned to me slowly, panic evident in his eyes.

“Aya,” he began. “It was for my family, a small comfort. You have to understand—”

“Comfort?” I gasped, shaking my head as I stood up. I needed space. I backed away from him, the hurt in his eyes stabbing me like a knife. “Don’t you realize how much pain and confusion you caused them?”

“Aya,” he said, standing up and reaching out for me.

I shook my head, moving to the other side of the kitchen, behind Anthony.

“You didn’t care, did you? You didn’t care about the lives you were taking! What the fuck were you feeding them, Alex? Were you letting them starve to death?”

“Some of them did,” Caroline admitted under her breath.

“Caroline!” Alex’s voice was a harsh whisper. He quickly turned to me, “I shared my rations with them.”

“But did you teach them anything? Did you explain why they now had a thirst for blood? Because you never bothered with the others,” I retorted. “I know because I was the one who had to teach them! I’ve been cleaning up your mess for decades!”

Alex halted, his eyes pleading. “Aya,” he tried again.

“No,” I shook my head, my thoughts a whirlwind. I was appalled.

“Aya, it’s not as bad as you think,” Anthony tried to soothe me.

“Not as bad as being killed and turned into a slave?” I shot back. “We both remember what that was like. We both remember how we were treated in that house!”

At least Alex and Caroline had the decency to look uncomfortable.

“Given their upbringing, it’s only natural they sought some form of comfort,” Anthony interjected. “They’re purebloods; humans have never mattered to them. You know this.”

“Why are you defending them?” I demanded.

Anthony gave me a pointed look. “Because I know what it’s like to lose everything. To have your entire life ripped away in a single night. And so do you, Aya.”

I froze, staring at him. I couldn’t deny that.

The room fell silent.

I looked at Alex again; his expression was pained. Caroline looked taken aback, her eyes on Anthony.

“Aya,” Alex moved closer to me, and I let him take my hands. “You’re right. I didn’t think about them, not for a second. I was thinking about me and my family. Our house was in ruins, literally falling apart. I wanted to give them something, and a servant was all I could offer. So I did sneak out many times to see if I could turn some. I didn’t let Caroline come because it was dangerous. If I got caught, I wanted to be the only one to face the consequences. I didn’t want anyone else to get hurt because of my decision.”

Caroline huffed.

“Where are they now?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

“They died, trapped in the fire,” he replied softly. “The fire that I started.”

Caroline gasped.

I closed my eyes, and the memory of the fire that had nearly consumed me in the Shahalia hall flashed in my mind—the intense heat, the fear that had gripped me.

“Did you feel it?” I asked. “Did you feel them die? Did you feel their pain, their fear?”

“Yes.” Alex’s answer was barely audible. “I felt everything.”

I lifted my face to meet his gaze. “Good.”

Alex flinched at my tone but nodded.

The room fell silent again as Alex slowly pulled me into his arms. His hand cupped my cheek to gently lift my face to his. His eyes were a piercing icy blue.

“I know I’ve been cruel and heartless. I know I’ve been violent, indifferent,” he confessed. “I know I lashed out. But I never meant to make you bleed, to hurt you, to hurt any of the humans that I turned. I never meant to start the fire—to make you cry.”

“Alex,” I whispered.

He quickly leaned in to press a kiss on my lips, then pulled back.

“I have a lot of blood on my hands. A lot of death. And there’s probably more to come, because I would burn this world down for you, Aya. I would kill anyone who tries to harm you,” he let that sink in for a moment.

“But I realize there are those who didn’t deserve it. Innocent lives I’ve taken, pure things I’ve tainted, tears I’ve caused,” he whispered, his thumb gently stroking my cheek. “So for that, for them, I’m sorry, Aya. For my parents, whom I failed to protect you from, and from themselves, for my sisters. For everything I’ve done. I’m sorry.”

Caroline’s breath hitched as he glanced at her.

“We should talk,” he said, and she nodded in agreement.

He turned back to me, pressed a soft kiss to my forehead, and stepped away from me, holding the door open for his sister.

I watched, speechless, as they slipped out the door and into the dark forest.