Volume 2 - CH 2.07

Part 7

The five of them continued deeper into the labyrinth. Whenever they came across a crossroad, they struggled with making decisions.

“Let’s turn right.”

“No, dude. Turn left.”

As a result, they resorted to having Isuzu throw a stick, and going in whichever direction the stick pointed to when it landed.

“Right this time.”

“Copy. Hey, hurry up, I wanna get back home in time for the titan show, fumo. Walk faster!”

“Hey, quit pushing me!”

“It’s so dark, ron. I can’t even see my own feet! Hey, I just stepped on something soft…”

“I smell something strange, mi. Not foul-smelling, per se, but…”

Right then—

With a slicing sound, a large blade shot out of the walls and headed their way. The blade was at the height of Seiya’s neck, and came so swiftly it drew a crescent in its trajectory.

“!!”

The poor souls in its path were Macaron and Tiramie. The blade barely missed the tip of their heads before disappearing into the wall, making them feel as if they had just been targeted by a Grim Reaper’s scythe.

“Wha…”

If the two of them had been as tall as human beings, they’d have certainly been butchered. Everything happened so swiftly that they needed some time to process what had just happened.

The two of them fell onto the ground, traumatized.

“W-What the hell was that?” Seiya asked.

Moffle went ahead to inspect the wall. “It was a trap, fumo. It activates once a pressure plate on the floor’s been stepped on.”

“I knew at least that much! But what the hell…we’d be down to three men if it had hit…”

“Indeed. How dangerous, fumo.” Moffle said without any trace of panic. After all, Moffle was a former soldier trained to handle absurd situations. The only problem was that this ex-soldier took the form of a short rodent mascot.

“Mofu. Let’s take some time to regroup and calm ourselves down. Hey Tiramie.”

“Mi? Mi?”

“You and I shall be the vanguard, fumo. We’ll focus on reporting the spotted traps and removing them.”

“R-Roger, mi!”

“Macaron, you be the rear guard, fumo. Watch our backs.”

“Got it, ron.”

“Isuzu will be at the center. You’ll guard our baggage, fumo.”

“Yes, sir.” Isuzu brought out her musket and held on to Seiya’s shoulder on high alert.

In the midst of their military-esque formation, Seiya questioned. “Hey, wait a minute. I don’t care how you position your formation, but I’m doubting your definition for the word ‘baggage’. Are you saying that I am the baggage?”

“Less chat, more hat, fumo.”

“No, I can’t possibly let this slide. Are you really intending to call me, the cool, multi-talented hunk, baggage? You’re talking really big for a tiny rodent, my friend!”

“Tch, don’t call me a rodent, fumo. Just so you know, I’m only protecting you because you’re needed to run the park!”

“I don’t need protection from you! You guys always look down on us people of the land like you’re some big—”

In the heat of the moment, Seiya took a step forward, and the floor made a “click” sound.

“Wait. Another click?”

A rumbling sound could be heard, and some machinery could be seen moving at the end of the tunnel.

“Holy shit! Kanie-kun, what on earth did you step on, mi!?”

“Well, it felt like I stepped on something…but…”

The rumbling gradually turned into tremendous roaring, making all of them cower in fear. Looking back at where they came from, a huge boulder could be seen charging towards them at a speed and force that would knead them all to dough.

“Awesome, ron. We entered the archaeology route!”

“How can you still be so calm about this!?”

“Run, fumo!”

“Woah!! Run!!”

All of them ran for their lives. They no longer had the time to care about their formation or anything. And as they fled carelessly, they activated countless traps.

Arrows came flying toward them from all directions.

“Mi!!”

Parts of the floor opened to reveal pits.

“Ron!!”

Suspended ceiling traps fell, trying to crush them.

“Mofu! Mofu!”

It was every man for himself. Everyone dodged, evaded, jumped around at such miraculous timing that they managed to avoid most traps.

“Kanie-kun, maybe you should rest for a bit.”

Isuzu encouraged Seiya while running around dodging projectiles and avoiding obstacles with ease.

“Me? Rest? This place wants us dead! How am I supposed to— WOAH!”

A flying circular saw came their way. The two of them barely evaded it and watched it bury deep into the wall. Right then, another spiked wrecking ball came swinging at them.

“Holy crap!”

It’s too close. I can’t dodge it in time. Seiya thought as he embraced the last second of his life. However, at that very moment, Isuzu made a mad dash, pushing Seiya clear.

“Sento!?”

She managed to evade the wrecking ball by just a hair. However, the spikes had hooked into her shirt, tossing her several meters in front.

“…”

Isuzu tumbled to the ground, which slid open to reveal another pit. Completely caught off guard, she was suddenly unable to be seen as she plunged into the abyss.

“Sento!!”

The pit closed. More traps were coming their way. Moffle grabbed on to Seiya, who was about to dive in, and made a run for it.

“Let me go! We can’t leave her behind…!”

“We’ll save her later!”

“She fell into the pit! We need to save her quick—”

“Just shut up and run, fumo!”

Being dragged by Moffle, Seiya turned around and retreated.

*

By the time they regrouped, only three people remained: Seiya, Moffle and Tiramie.

“Macaron just disappeared all of a sudden, mi…” muttered Tiramie.

“Shit! We’ve been had, fumo. We don’t even know the way back.” Moffle said in frustration.

“Sento…” Seiya murmured and sighed. She sacrificed herself to save me…and because of that…

“Leave your worries and mourning for next week, fumo.” Moffle spoke. “Focus on getting out first. We can borrow some heavy-duty equipment to tear down the place and uncover the truth behind this labyrinth later.”

“I know…but…”

As Seiya struggled to pull himself together, Tiramie inspected their surroundings.

“It doesn’t seem like there are any more traps here. We must’ve gone to a deeper level of this labyrinth, mi.”

“Mofu. Why do you think so?”

“I can read the designer of this place like a light novel, mi. He must’ve been a lazy-ass who only wanted to cut on maintenance and labor costs. That explains why there aren’t any traps like mists and explosions that would require resetting.”

“I see…”

Tiramie, who rarely said anything intelligent, had just demonstrated some keen analytical skills with confidence. Perhaps the rumor about him having once broken into a gold vault was true?

“The traps that have been used so far were rather predictable and appeared to be designed only to incite fear among us. Normally automatic traps are enough to clean up the majority of the people who enter. As for the problematic few who survive…”

Tiramie made a difficult expression.

“They finish ’em with brute force, mi.”

“Brute force, you say?”

It wasn’t long before loud shouts began to echo throughout the area. An army of creatures could be seen approaching them from the other side of the path, or battlefield, to be precise.

These heinous creatures had pig heads and bodies of demi-humans. Judging by their appearances, ‘orc’ was probably the most appropriate description. These orcs wore hide armor and wielded weapons like clubs and choppers, just like your stereotypical RPG. Their anger could be seen from the steam that came from their snorts, and their cries were full of rage directed at the three.

“This is what I meant, mi. Take a look! They don’t seem to be in a mood for negotiation!”

“I see, fumo. This is indeed a dungeon, after all. We’re bound to encounter things like this…”

“Guys, at the very least try to sound like you’ve got some adrenaline in your veins, will you? What’re we gonna do now, when we’ve only got three people!?”

“We’re gonna have to fight, mi.”

“We’ll find you a corner to shiver in, fumo.”

“Tch…”

The two mascots readied themselves. Before Seiya could say anything in his own defense, they were assaulted by the orcs who charged at them with their weapons held high.

“INCOMING!!”

And so the battle began.

Moffle entered the fray with a war cry. He took quick and nimble steps and landed countless strikes on their foes. The orcs began collapsing one after another.

“Take that, mi!”

Tiramie tossed in a Molotov, setting the area ablaze. The orcs went amok and Tiramie ran in to land some sneak attacks. If this were an RPG, he would have dealt critical damage.

“Goddamn it! How did this escalate so quickly!?”

Seiya, wielding a shovel, was tasked with smacking the enemies Moffle and Tiramie defeated.

“Hmph, you’re doing a good job yourself, fumo.”

Moffle snorted, as he KO-ed several more enemies.

“You’re doing pretty well for a rat, too. Wait, where’s your stun gun?”

“Huh, stun gun? That’s a woman’s thing; It’s no match for my hooks, fumo.”

“I-I see…”

“More of them are coming, mi! I’m gonna feed them Molotovs! This will be your grave, mi!”

Tiramie’s lines were heroic, but considering these were said by an adorable dog mascot, this set a bad example for children.

Despite their one-sided onslaught, the enemies kept coming. Now, instead of just orcs, stronger mobs such as trolls, golems, and even slimes and ropers were in the mix.

“These mobs are cliché, but so strong!”

Seiya was starting to get exhausted from the fighting. Not giving him any chances to escape, the roper assaulted Seiya with its tentacles. Thankfully, Moffle’s right punch managed to defeat the roper just in time, otherwise Seiya might have become a victim of tentacle play.

“Just who in the right mind would take guys as their victims, fumo!?”

“It’ll be a big commotion if it were Isuzu-chan, mi! Imagine her getting wrapped in tentacles and going ‘IYAAAA!'”

“People will swarm over here just to see that.”

“The next wave’s coming, fumo!”

Once again, the next wave contained a new type of mobs, including those that looked like terribly oversized ostriches, white lightning dragons and black panthers.

This is bad. Like, REALLY bad.

“Retreat! This is becoming a battle of attrition!”

“Pull back! Pull back, fumo!”

Seiya and gang escaped in the midst of confusion.