Explanations

Ava was spiraling. Every time her mind focused on one train of thought, another one swooped in to take center stage. Her breathing became a bit more labored as the panic started to set in. Cooker knew her name, knew who she was. There would be no time to get off the ship, she would be turned in to the angry mob of women upstairs. She tried to quickly think of a solution but she went blank. She remembered her dagger that one of the women had retrieved for her after she left it behind on the island after the raid. She pulled it from it's home on her waist and she stood up, pointing it at Cooker.

Cooker held up her hands and backed away from Ava, "Listen, I could disarm you before you could blink. Why don't you put that down and we can have a civil conversation."

Ava knew what Cooker was saying was true. There was no way Ava could overpower the other girl or make any significant impact. Even if Ava did, what good would a dead pirate do except incriminate her? However, Cooker knew Ava's secret and she was just as likely to get in trouble if she let Cooker go.

"I can't," Ava said and made her way to the locked door, making sure Cooker couldn't make a run for it.

"Avery, I already told you that you are safe. If I wanted to turn you in, I would have done that a long time ago," Cooker admitted, her hands still held up.

"Do not call me that!" Ava said, the dagger still pointed in Cooker's direction.

"Fine, fair point. Just put it down and we can speak. Ava, the last thing I want to do is hurt you," Cooker said, this time she took a step towards Ava, "I am trying to be on your side."

Ava lowered the weapon after a few moments of careful consideration, "Carrie Cooker. You're supposed to be dead."

"Aye, so are you," Cooker responded.

"How are you alive?" Ava asked.

Carrie Cooker belonged to the Great Cooker family which was one of the thirty-five great houses that were under her father, Vaith's, command. The Cookers were one of her father's closest allies and Carrie Cooker along with her siblings spent a lot of time at the Vaith estate. None of the Cooker children were Ava's age so she would sit back with the chambermaids while all her siblings went to play. Ava kept kicking herself for not figuring it out sooner, all of the clues were right in front of her, Cooker's name, her disdain for the rich, the amount of knowledge she had of the houses. On the other hand, Ava never really did spend any time with Carrie Cooker and after ten lengths she looked different- shaved head and tattoos up to her neck- so it was no surprise Ava didn't recognize her. Plus, Ava had believed up until that conversation that no one had ever successfully run away from the Cooker family before. Carrie Cooker was dead to her up until a few minutes prior.

Cooker shrugged, "I was never dead. Or in any danger really. I just ran away from home and my parents thought it would be the perfect political opportunity. Concocted some story about how I was taken and killed by some militia group so they could justify going in and killing them."

"My family mourned you. My sister mourned you," Ava said, shocked at the things some people were willing to do.

"Mallory mourned me? You know I was her first kiss right?" Cooker bragged.

Ava wished she could undo the past three hours. As if the pile of information on her lap wasn't enough Cooker had to open her mouth, "Cooker, please! That is a blindside a completely not relevant to this very serious conversation."

"Right. Good idea, Red. Let's talk about you," Cooker sat down in her special chair and crossed her legs.

"What about me?" Ava responded.

Cooker laughed, "You're joking right? Am I going to have to pry the story out of you? You are dead Avery Vaith."

"Avery Vaith is dead. I am not," Ava corrected.

"You know what I meant. Two cycles before you showed up we got the news that Lord Vaith's youngest daughter had been killed when a land raid happened at Aubermausse. I don't mean to make you feel any more hated but there was a bit of a celebration on the ship. It was quite a momentous occasion," Cooker admitted, "So, how are you sitting here in front of me?"

"I was out on the town with my chambermaid. We were shopping for new gowns and just trying to pass the time so I didn't have to go back home when we heard the attack bells. I still don't know what happened or who was responsible but we were under siege. Things had never been so chaotic before..." Ava explained.

"It was the perfect time to run," Cooker said.

"Aye," she tested out the phrase, "at first that wasn't what I was thinking. I was just worried about getting to safety. So we ran until we reached a cliff where things were calm. There was a body there from a woman who had been killed in the attack and I thought maybe I could use her to make them believe it was me. I don't know how I started on the train of thought but I knew I needed to run away. I changed into one of the dresses I had bought and had my chambermaid help me put what I was wearing on the body... Then we pushed it off the cliff so she couldn't be recognized," Ava said.

"So, your parents didn't fake your death, you did? Fuck that's intense," Cooker said, "Why'd you run? A Vaith has never run away."

"I don't know. It wasn't like I planned it, I happened to fall into the perfect situation. The city was distracted, I had a full coin purse, there was a way to fake my death and I knew my chambermaid would never tell," Ava said.

"Just because you had an opportunity doesn't mean you had to run. You chose to, but why?" Cooker pressed.

"I don't really know... I guess I never felt like I belonged in my family. I did everything they did, liked everything they did, laughed at everything they did but I was never fully accepted. I was sent to my room during important events or excluded from conversations. I think they knew I was faking it, faking that I knew how to live amongst my own family. I didn't realize the dark cloud I was living in until I left..." Ava felt the words getting harder to get out as she held back tears, "There was all of that and then my dad had started to talk about marrying me to a boy from Efriti, some nobleman's son. I realized when I was on that cliff that I had no one that I would miss and I had nothing to lose."

"Shit, red," Cooker said, "You made it pretty far. You had me fooled for a second there too."

"You didn't know the whole time?" Ava questioned.

"No, I didn't realize it until we were a few suns into our voyage to Jarth. I knew you looked familiar the first night we met but it's been ten lengths since I last saw you and you have changed quite a lot. Also, it was nighttime and I was quite drunk already," Cooker explained.

"How'd you figure it out?"

"One sun, just sitting and talking to you. It just hit me. You look just like your sister and speak like a Vaith too. Figured you had run away and your father made it look like you were killed," Cooker shrugged.

"Can you please not mention my sister again? I have a lot to process and her involvement in this is not on my agenda right now?" Ava asked.

Cooker laughed a little, "Fine, your wish is my command."

"You've known for almost two cycles... Why didn't you say anything?" Ava asked. Cooker could have said something at any point. Given the history most of these women had with Ava's father and the fact that Cooker was loyal to her crew made it odd that Ava's identity had not been revealed.

Cooker grew more serious and let out a long sigh, "There are a lot of reasons. At first, I figured you'd get off as soon as you could and it wouldn't matter. Then when you kept traveling I figured I would just wait it out. I was raised like you, I know what it's like to finally be free from that. I saw you were different from others like you, you wanted to learn and correct yourself and I wanted to let you have your chance at starting a new life. Then you decided to become a fucking pirate and that plan was fucked. Things were hectic though so I figured I would just wait until the raid for supplies was over."

"And now?" Ava asked nervously, hand ready to reach for her dagger at any moment.

"Now there is no way in all of the Baethean seas I can tell Theo. She wouldn't be able to keep the secret, not with all that guilt from the most recent disaster. Your status on this ship would be put to a vote and the crew would use you as bait to get to your father. It's too risky with him being this close," Cooker said.

Ava had been afraid that that would be the case for her but she had held out a small amount of hope that the women would not turn on her like that.

"They would do that?" Ava asked.

"Aye, you're not close with them yet. You only know a handful of us and that is far from securing a majority," Cooker rationed and it made sense to Ava, she didn't blame the women.

"So you won't say anything?" Ava hoped.

Cooker shook her head, "No, not yet anyway. Let's get you settled into the crew and make them see you as a person first. Once they see you are one of the crew they'll let go of who you were a lot easier."

For the first time since she had bad been on the deck, she felt the panic start to subdue. Cooker would keep her secret. More than that, Cooker was talking about Ava's future on the ship as if it was a sure thing. Ava allowed herself to feel like her place on the ship was not in as much jeopardy as she thought.

"Thank you," Ava said, sincerely, "I don't know what else to say or how to repay you."

Cooker waved her off, "You're not the only getting something out of it. Theo lied to me and I'm using this to get back at her."

Ava felt wrong about that. She did not want to hurt Theo or keep anything from her. She had been nothing but gracious and generous with Ava but it was either lie, get shipped back home, or be killed.

"She's your captain," Ava pointed out.

"Aye and she always will be but her actions have consequences and I do not care if I am petty right now," Cooker explained and stood up, "Call it flawed logic, doesn't matter to me."

"Are you leaving?" Ava asked, panic starting to rise back up. Cooker had kept her calm but now that she was leaving Ava felt her control on the situation slip.

"Aye, you'll be fine," Cooker said, "Before I leave, is Ava Ableworth even real?"

Ava shook her head, "No, Ava is just close to Avery and I thought it would be easy to get used to...I chose Ableworth because they're the only other redheaded family in North Elox... Plus, they've got a runaway bride problem so I thought it would be a believable cover."

Cooker headed to the door and she looked amused, "We're going to have to be careful when they vet you. I'll help you prepare for it. "

"Thank you," Ava repeated, " and thank you again for not saying anything."

Cooker unlocked the door and opened it, "You're likable, Ava. You make it easy to keep a huge not-in-any-way going to come back and bite us in the ass kind of secret."

Ava let out a laugh and she quickly covered her mouth. It was the first time she had laughed in what felt like suns. A major crisis had been avoided for the time being and she would just have to regroup and keep moving forward.