chapter 36

Author's POVSimple words can have a profound impact, striking deeply when spoken by a certain person at a particular time. Those words might not have affected us as much on any other day or moment.Thulir is experiencing that moment, rethinking everything that has happened in her life so far and realizing how much she has changed. She can hardly recognize herself; she never envisioned being this way, yet this is the reality she cannot accept nor ignore."You don't understand, Amma; you stay at home all day, so how would you know? you only know how to do household works...Never mind, I will ask Appa."Those were the precise words spoken by her elder daughter, Malar, who is now seven years old. Thulir might have overlooked her daughter's comment if she hadn't accidentally come across her graduation photo while cleaning the house, which was taken as she received her PhD certificate from the chief minister, who was the guest of honor that year.She vividly remembers the joy she felt that day; her entire family was present, and even Agathiyan had taken leave to be there, though he was her secret boyfriend. She managed to slip away at midnight to spend time with him, as everyone believed he was in West Godavari for his ACP duties. That night, he fulfilled her long-standing wish for a midnight bike ride, a rare treat given his usual busyness and her PhD commitments. Their in-person meetings were scarce, but those moments were treasured. Above all, they relished the thrill and challenge of keeping their relationship hidden from their families.They have been together for 14 years, and married for 11. She wasn't even upset or disappointed when he forgot their 10th anniversary to work on a case. Her entire family, including the young ones, extended their wishes. She has grown more understanding and forgiving; she can't recall the last time she got angry or raised her voice. The birth of the twins brought her tranquility, and nurturing them has made her even more forgiving and patient. Her daughters are quite the handful, especially Malar, the older one, who is a spitting image of her younger self, while Alar, the younger, is calm and composed, much like her father...Thulir took a break from her profession during her pregnancy due to complications. The birth of the twins was challenging, and the postpartum period was particularly severe, leaving her quite fragile. However, her entire family provided support and helped her through this tough time. As she gradually recovered, her daughters turned three, and Agathiyan received a promotion that came with a transfer to Odisha. Consequently, they had to move with him, and Thulir found no opportunity to continue her career as a professor of Tamil literature. A year ago, Agathiyan applied for a transfer and managed to return to Tamil Nadu, not to Chennai, but to Salem.Her world centers around her daughters, husband, and the extended family at times. As the first daughter-in-law of Revathi Illam, she seldom visits her own family because Agathiyan often cannot take leave; usually, it's her family who visits them. To avoid burdening Agathiyan, Thulir handles most family matters independently, providing him with peace and relief from household responsibilities. There have been numerous occasions where only Thulir, with her daughters or sometimes alone, was present, as Agathiyan rarely accompanies her, yet she skillfully manages others with excuses.She excelled as a daughter-in-law, sister, sister-in-law, daughter, wife, and mother, yet she lost touch with herself. In managing all these roles to perfection, she neglected to cherish herself, abandoning the carefree and resolute Thulir she once was when she embraced and committed to her other responsibilities.She hadn't realized it until that moment when her daughter confronted her with the reality... How could her daughter think she knew nothing and was incapable of anything beyond household chores? Is that what she has become... Is that her identity now?Yet, where did it go wrong? Even though her own mother stays at home, Uyir gave up her design work to care for Thulir, who requires most of her time, and Mugilan oversees her publication work until Thulir is older. However, not once did Thulir or her siblings see their mother as merely a housewife. They fear her anger, respect her, and recognize her worth. It's not that Uyir constantly reminded them of her identity before they were born, her silent management of the publication and design work, the renown of her creations, or her status as the sole heir to the Ramachandran group. Rather, it was Jayadev who always uplifted his wife. He consistently valued her, and the children grew up witnessing their father's adoration for their mother.Thulir tried to recall the moments with Agathiyan and her daughters...................it hit her hard than it has to be...it started for fun Agathiyan used to say to their daughter "your amma knows nothing except doing household works" just to tease her in the beginning but it was kind of normalized sentence in their home now......for every mistakes her daughter makes...."Thulir, please be more attentive around the children. Your sole responsibility is to care for them. Can't you manage that? Look at how much she's crying. Is this your idea of looking after our daughters? I'm at a loss with you... See, despite my best efforts, she won't stop crying and now insists on having ice cream. If I don't give it to her, the crying continues, but if I do, she'll catch a cold and refuse to take her medicine... just as stubborn as you are. All you do is add to my stress. I came home in high spirits, looking forward to spending time with my daughters, but now, because of you, she's upset."Those were the accusations he leveled against her yesterday when Malar and Alar quarreled over a single bicycle, as Malar's had been punctured the previous day. During the scuffle, Malar fell and injured her knees, causing them to bleed. Thulir, on the other hand, did not react to her husband's rebukes; her attention was entirely on comforting her weeping daughter. She was in the kitchen when the girls began fighting in the garden, so she only became aware of the situation when Malar started crying and Agathiyan arrived just in time.....Even if Thulir heard and acknowledged his words she wouldn't have said anything as she already was blaming herself for the same and its pretty much normal.........."Even your father would have reacted in same way.....so don't take my words seriously Thulir....its just came out of anger...."At night, Agathiyan defended his actions, which surprisingly convinced her. The amusing part was that he merely justified his actions without ever offering an apology...Thulir chuckled as she remembered her father; Agathiyan was indeed right. Jayadev might have panicked or reacted even more strongly, but he would never blame Uyir for it. Thulir had experienced even worse accidents in her life, like the time she fractured her legs, which was a result of a fight with Agathiyan. Yet, not once did Jayadev blame or scold Uyir for those incidents."Don't be overly understanding and forgiving Papa. People tend to take things for granted over time. The worst thing that can happen is not just being undervalued by others, but failing to recognize your own worth and lowering your standards....Coming out of that pit is tough "That was the advice Uyir gave to her daughter during her last visit. Thulir didn't take those words seriously, but now she does. It also means that her mother could see what was happening with her daughter, yet she chose not to interfere, only offering insight for her to realize on her own. Uyir learned this from her mother: no one can fight your battles better than you, especially when it involves you or your loved ones. Interference from others can only make things worse."Ammaa Paasiiii"(Hungry)The scream from Alar jolted Thulir from her daydreams. The father-daughter trio had just returned from a  ride, fulfilling Malar's wish, and Agathiyan managed to get home early to take his daughters out."I thought you guys must have eaten outside"Thulir said them...."Wait you didn't cooked ....Thulir when did I said We are eating outside we just went for a right and they just had snacks.....you should have called me at least if you didn't made anything we would have ate and brought something for you "Agathiyan retorted making Thulir sign in return...."I just asked....and I already prepared the dough and Kurma...you guys go and freshen up I will make Chappathis"Thulir said and moved towards the kitchen....the girls and Agathiyan went to room to freshen up....while Thulir was preparing the Chappathi's she felt a tug from behind...she looked back only to find Alar the younger one standing there hiding something behind her.....Thulir smiled at her..."Ena Alarma....""Close your Eyes amma""Alarr""Do what I said....no other question"Alar said strictly making Thulir chuckle and close her eyes......"Now open your eyes Amma"Thulir opened her eyes only to find the little one standing there with a small box which surely looked like a cake box....Thulir made a surprised reaction just to make her happy.....Alar smiled widely..."I know you like this pastry we went to bakery and ate puffs and falooda..when we are leaving I remembered you like this one so I asked Appa to buy this for you "Alar spoke, and Thulir's eyes welled up with tears as she lifted her little one, embraced her tightly, planted a kiss on her head, and expressed her gratitude. Thulir quickly wiped away her tears before her daughter could notice. She helped Alar onto the kitchen counter and began to roll out chapatis. As she worked, her daughter recounted the events of her day, spoon-feeding bits of pasty to Thulir, who had her hands covered in flour. Seeing this, the little one took the initiative to feed her mother. Malar was her father's pride, while Alar was the apple of her mother's eye.Eventhough Thulir loves her both daughters equally Malar is more attached to her father more while Alar was closer to Thulir......Soon They all had dinner...................as usual Malar didn't finished her chapatti full and shifted the remaining on her mother's plate and rushed to kitchen to wash her hands and plate.....At night, while the pair slept, Thulir sat on the other side of the bed, oiling her hair, as her daughters lay asleep between them. Meanwhile, Agathiyan was engrossed in reading some case files.....Thulir continued to gaze at him, certain she could no longer recognize him. He was not the same Agathiyan she had loved and married. And if she had changed, how could she expect him to remain the same?Sensing her gaze he looked up at her.."Ena?""When is the last time you called me Theeni Agathiya?""Huh??""Onum Ila...Good night"(Nothing..)She said and braided her hair, slid into bed, and closed her eyes to sleep.Author's note hmmmmHappy Reading 📖📖📖📖Thank you❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️