43 | I STARTED TO LOVE YOU

WARNING: stock up on your tissues. i cried a fuckton writing this chapter, right from the beginning. so, yeah. good luck and sorry in advance for the heartache.

"Where could they be?" Khalia asked, frantic and desperate. She ran a hand through her hair, tugging at it in frustration. This not knowing where Hayley is was worse than anything she's ever experienced, the only thing beating it was Kol's death. But what if Hayley is- No. Nope. Not going there.

"The only place I can think where they would have taken her, is the Cemetery." Elijah told his sister, watching as determination set her face into stone.

Khalia nodded, that sounded reasonable and like their only option right now. "Let's go."

The two sped off, running as fast as they could while still under the influence of the werewolf venom. They divided the cemetery in two, searching and searching. Khalia killed anyone that came into her line of sight - human and witch - trying to get rid of all of the restlessness and worry inside of her. And when they met up in the entrance of the cemetery, it was clear on both faces that neither of them had found a trace of the kidnapped pregnant werewolf.

"Now what?" Khalia asked her brother, chest heaving a bit, looking very close to spiraling down a path of destruction, going through the whole of New Orleans until she found her werewolf.

Out of nowhere, her whole body went freezing cold, goosebumps rising on her skin and a full body shiver running through her. Her skin was warm, but something inside of her went cold and wilted. Like something inside her had died. It wasn't like when her Kol's souls were ripped apart by his death, no, it was more like the life force of something inside her was taken. The coldness telling her that something was terribly, horribly wrong.

Khalia frowned deeply, not understanding what the hell was happening to her.

"Khalia, are you okay?" Elijah shook his sister by the arm, trying to get her attention.

"Fine," She waved him off, that cold feeling making her uneasy. "What's the plan?"

Elijah thought quickly, making a plan that made sure he could keep his sister within his sight. God knows, if she was left alone, New Orleans wouldn't survive it. "We look for her. We go back and start in the French Quarter and work our way out from there." Elijah placed his hands on Khalia's shoulders. "We will find her, Khalia, even if we have to scour this entire city to do so."

"Okay." Khalia took a deep breath, wanting to get a hold on her emotions that were all over the place. "Okay, let's find her."

They started in the City of the Dead, then the Cauldron. Next on their list was St. Anne's church. Khalia knew they were finally in the right place when she smelled blood - not just any blood, but Hayley's blood. Her stomach knotted itself over and over, legs quivering as her whole body startled trembling, because she had no idea what waited for her behind that door. But that much blood . . .

No. No, that is not an option. That is not what happened here tonight.

Steeling herself as her brother bursts into the church and looks around desperately, frantically shouting, "HAYLEY! NIKLAUS!"

Khalia follows him inside, both of them still panting and out of breath as a result of the werewolf bites, and struggling to focus their vision. Elijah stops dead in his tracks as he sees that Klaus is sitting at the sacristy with Hayley's head resting in his lap. Klaus is near tears. Elijah approaches them with a horrified look on his face, Khalia following behind her brother.

"No. No, no. No..." Elijah denies it until the last second, until he falls to his knees next to Hayley and realizes that she's dead.

Khalia stares at her body, her blurring furiously. She closes her eyes, trying to get rid of the sight to convince herself that this was just some horrifying nightmare, that there was no way that this is real, but the only thing closing her eyes does, is causing the flood gates to open as tears roll down her cheeks. She, too, falls to her knees next to Hayley as her legs loose all of their strength.

And there it was again. That uncomfortably cold and wilted feeling at the back of her mind. Khalia touch Hayley's arm, testing a theory, and inhaled sharply when the cold and wilted feeling worsened. So this was it, this was what she felt earlier, somehow something inside of her - that suspiciously felt like her very own soul - had known that Hayley had died.

But how? And why didn't it hurt as much as when her and Kol's souls were mercilessly ripped apart when he died? And why did the cold and wilted feeling inside her, make her think of a dead soul? Khalia quickly cut off that train of thought. It wasn't a hornet's nest she wanted to kick open right now. Or ever.

"She's gone." Klaus states numbly. Elijah starts to cry as well when he sees his sister's heartbroken and crestfallen face that was wet with tears, which causes Klaus to start to cry as well.

"You've both been bitten." Klaus notices. "Here." He bites into his wrist and offers it to his siblings. Elijah is stunned by this display of kindness while Khalia just keeps staring at Hayley, silently crying. Elijah drinks, and then Klaus offers his sister his wrist. "Khalia?"

She doesn't speak, just shove his arm away. Then she takes Hayley from Klaus, pulling the dead girl into her arms, holding her close to her chest. She breathes in - that lovely smell of apples that always followed the werewolf around was tinged with the coppery smell of blood, leaving a sour taste in Khalia's mind. Her body was starting to loose its warmth, become rigid with dead after she bled out and her heart stopped beating.

Khalia swallowed, but it was like someone poured shards of glass down her throat. It hurt - everything hurt; moving, breathing, thinking, existing. Her chest felt empty but at the same time raw with the gashing wound that was caused by Hayley's death, nothing but pure anguish coming out of it. Nothing made sense anymore, her thoughts was jumbled and tangled, unable to form a coherent thought except for - my sweetheart, my Hayley, is dead. It ran through her mind on a loop as she sat on the ground, still cradling Hayley's body close to her.

Elijah was standing and Klaus was sitting nearby their almost unnaturally silent sister, so still and silent that it almost seemed as if she was catatonic, watching and guarding over them, hurting and grieving themselves as well.

Elijah was clearly distraught over the werewolf's death. "How?"

The Hybrid was numb, his tone flat when her answer. "I was bested."

Elijah's face goes from an expression of horror to one of fury, his voice quiet when he spoke. "You were bested. Huh." He walks toward Klaus and stares at him furiously. "You were BESTED?" Klaus looks at him in shock at his loss of temper, and Elijah shouts in exasperation. "My invincible brother!"

Klaus pulls himself weakly to his feet and looks Elijah in the eyes. "They took the baby. But there's still time. We can save her."

"The Cemetery." Elijah swore as realisation set in, wanting to scream and shout in frustration. It was like nothing could go their way today. "We must have just missed them."

Klaus look at his sister, who was still crying silently over Hayley's dead body. "Let's go, Khalia."

"No." Was the only words she offered as she finally moved, standing up right with Hayley still clutched firmly in her grip. She laid her dead body in sacristy and sniffled a little, but otherwise ignored both her brothers and the world.

"Khalia, now is not the time to be stubborn." Klaus told his sister, a little impatience seeping into his tone.

Neither of the brother's saw coming explosion, but they both heard it clearly. And oh, how she exploded. She whirled to them, eyes red and wet, cheeks stained with tears, hair in a disarray from all the times she ran her hands through it when she and Elijah was still looking for Hayley, hoping they'd find her.

"Don't you get it, Nik? I have nothing left in this world. Hayley . . .she was it. She was my last hope, my last life line, she was my life, and now she's gone. So tell me, how do I live with nothing left living for?! Tell me, how do I live without her?!" Her voice started to raise into a shout with the last two sentences, tears falling faster and more furiously, dripping down her chin, dropping either on her shirt or the ground beneath her feet.

The two brother's looked at their completely shattered sister - heart and soul both so bruised and broken, so dark and twisted, but still capable of loving so brilliantly and fully that its becomes her complete downfall when she loses a loved one.

"We still have the baby, she is part of Hayley. The last part." Klaus tried to reason one last time, but it was a weak effort at best, voice rough with emotion.

Khalia shook her head, tears silently falling down her cheeks. "She's yours, Nik. Yours to protect, yours to keep safe, to save, yours to live for. So go, go find her."

"You need to heal first." Klaus told his sister sternly, biting into his wrist and holding it out to her. Thankfully she accepted it this time, feeling physically much better as Klaus' blood healed all of the poisonous werewolf venom but the emotional pain didn't waver a bit.

"Go." She urged them.

The Mikaelson brother's didn't need any further encouraging and they sped to Lafayette Cemetery, knowing that's where they will take the baby to be sacrificed.

Khalia turned back to Hayley's lifeless body. The tears blurred her vision a bit, but she could still make out the face that was always so full of life and light - especially when she was around Khalia.

Regret stabbed Khalia's already aching heart unmercifully as she walked to Hayley's side, taking her warm, but to cold to be alive, hand in her own. Khalia tried to swallow, but couldn't and when she tried to breath in, a raw sob ripped from her throat.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." Khalia whispered. She laid her forehead against Hayley's. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted, I'm sorry I couldn't love you like you wanted me too, I'm sorry I didn't spent every moment I could with you, I'm sorry I never told you what you mean to me. I'm sorry I didn't protect you better. I-i'm sorry I wasn't by your side when you took your last breath." Khalia cried and cried, sob after sob tearing through her chest, her tears dripping onto Hayley's cheeks and rolling down the pale skin.

Khalia pulled back to look at Hayley's face, trying to memorize every last detail, commit everything to her mind so that she could forever remember all the things that made Hayley beautiful, so that on the worst days, she could have something to hold onto.

And Khalia knew grief - they were old friends. She knew that however bad it is right now, it will get worse.

When Khalia lost Kol, she thought there could never be anything worse in this world. That that pain could never be bypassed, that she could never hurt more than she hurt back then, that she had reached the ultimate finish line for emotional pain. She was wrong.

Because this, loosing Hayley, was so much worse than losing her twin brother. How it was possible, she had no idea. How it happened that Hayley become such an important part of her, that she was Khalia's life, the vampire had no idea.

All Khalia knew is that it's an essential truth. Like - humans need water to survive, the earth revolves around the sun, everything is made up of atoms, Khalia Mikaelson needs Hayley Marshall more than she needs air.

"I think . . ." Khalia's voice was a hoarse whisper, she trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. One hand was still holding Hayley's, but with the free one she ran a finger down Hayley's cheek, the skin still soft. The pain surge through her with an almost violent force, and she closed her eyes, trying to lessen the impact.

"I think," she started again, her breath hitching for a second before she forced herself to continue. She just needed to say it once, for herself and for Hayley, even if the werewolf will never hear it. She didn't want to keep it inside and let it fester, becoming something ugly as it mixed with her grief and pain. "I think, no, I know that I started to love you. Maybe not like you wanted me too, or like you deserved, but I did."

The vampire didn't know what else there was left to say, the hurt didn't lessen but the weight that was on her chest lightened somewhat.

Khalia stood by Hayley's side, still holding her hand, waiting for her brother's to return - either with or without the baby.

"hold on, i still want you.

come back, i still need you.

let me take your hand, i'll make it right.

i swear to love you all my life.

can you hear me screaming 'please don't leave me?'

i don't want let go,

i know i'm not that strong.

hold on, i still want you.

come back, i still need you."

***

AUTHOR'S NOTE

i am so sorry, this had to happen.

just one thing, then i'll leave you guys to cry in peace - remember what i said in the beginning? like chapter three or four? that nothing, not even death, will rip the two entwined souls apart ever again?

oh god, that didn't make any of you cry again, did it? okay, i'll go now.

-Mixie