LII

LII

Clarissa Williams was too busy to sort all the papers in Prince Alexander's office that she did not notice His Highness entered the room through the connecting door. He sat on his swivel chair, but instead of reading the documents, he ruffled his hair with vexation. He shortly closed his eyes and that was the only time, his secretary became aware of his presence.

She was sitting on another table at the corner of the prince's office. It was located across the mini living area. She worked here if the prince was not around because she did not want to witness the Prince Alexander dirty work with his mistresses. That was the last thing she wanted to see in her lifetime. However, he had changed when Shirley Woodman entered the picture. No more women in this office, except for the first days of denial and Shirley Woodman herself of course.

When she finished arranging the important documents, she stood and brought it to the prince. She almost laughed when she saw the state of being of the great Prince Alexander. He looked haggard. Beyond haggard. She knew at the first sight that the man, she had under her supervision for the last fifteen years, had no proper sleep last night. She also knew the problem. Woman. It had happened years ago, but she concluded it was worse now than before.

He was either napping or composing himself when Clarissa ended the silence, "You're not in yourself, what happened to our dear Alexander?"

When he looked at the ceiling, there were tears brimmed in his eyes. His Adam's apple went up and down, and spoke, "I finally learned who brought the AMFA contract to my father."

Clarissa was momentarily shocked before gaining herself again and shrugged, "Who's the guilty? Do I know her?"

He nodded without bringing his head down, "Shirley," his tears aggressively flooded on his cheeks, "The woman I love most."

Her jaw fell down on the ground as she heard that name. The accountant could not be. She knew Shirley. The girl was too loyal to His Majesty that even her ethics being professional was gone just protect him. Shirley also suffered the consequence alone. All those news were too hard for her, but undoubtedly, she chose to hold it and did not point a finger to her husband.

"What do you think she did that?" She asked, tightly held the papers in her hand.

"Because she needs money for her father?" he did not hesitate to give this as his response, which made Clarissa fumed.

"Do you think she would do that for money?" She spat out and the prince finally looked at her. Questions raged on his face, but before he could say a word, Clarissa intercepted, "Do you really love her? If you do, you should know her better!"

He shook his head and whispered, "I don't get it, Clarissa."

"You're an idiot, that's why," she narrowed her gaze, "Shirley won't do horrible things like that if she was not deceived. I'm sure that your father pressure her or whatever. The king has a lot of eyes in this palace so he knew about you and AMFA before Shirley gave the evidence."

He paused, recalling what had just happened. He put his hand on his chest as though having a heart attack, "She wanted to explain."

She gritted her teeth, "Then, you did not listen to her, did you?"

When he slowly moved his head to the side, she quickly walked to his seat to punch him. However, soft knocks from the outside stopped her. The door opened and a woman entered elegantly. She scanned the room before landing on where Clarissa and Prince Alexander having a tension.

"Clarissa, may I have a word with Alexander?" Princess Emily questioned confidently and, at the same time, gentle.

"Sure," she said and made her way to the table. She heard the conversation because nothing separated them.

"Alexander, I have a proposition to you," the princess quietly voiced out, which tempted Clarissa to turn around and watch them.

The prince stood with blank mask covering his real emotions. What would someone feel if the one who broke his heart came to his office and had a proposition after years of no interaction? Only Alexander could answer that.

"I want to divorce your brother," Emily stated and moved closer to Alexander, who could not hide his stun and confusion, "I think, my relationship with Nicholas won't work out anymore because..." she looked at him with sincerity and regret, "...I still love you."

He held both her shoulder blades. He breathed sharply like having oxygen for the first time. "Clarissa, please leave us," he commanded with shaking voice.

The secretary instantly exited the office without further ado. She could not believe what she overheard and saw. What was Emily thinking? Clarissa shouted in her mind. She paced back and forth while deciding if she would listen inside.

She had wished in the past that Princess Emily would divorce Prince Nicholas and would go back to Prince Alexander. But not now. Not anymore. The heartbroken Prince Alexander, after that woman chose his brother, was having a life now with a girl who loved him truly. She silently hoping that the feelings of the prince toward the wife of his brother were already long gone, or else, if it was still there and woke up in the wrong time, she would rather suicide than to see what would happen next.

"Clarissa, what are you doing?" She suddenly turned into ice after that question popped out from someone.

She spun to see if she was only having an illusion of voices when the girl, whose name was Shirley, standing in front of Alexander's office and holding the knob.

This is not happening! She shouted again mentally, but her expression gave her because of how Shirley looked at her as though she received another head from the stars.

"What are you doing here?" Clarissa ran to stop Shirley.

"That's my question," the accountant smiled weakly, but still responded, "I'm going to speak with the prince if he is here."

Clarissa wanted to tell a lie that Alexander was not in the office. However, Shirley immediately turned the knob and had the view of the office. She gasped and stepped back once realization hit her that she was watching the prince and his sister-in-law kissing.

-----

Enough was the word crept in my brain as soon as I walked into my death. It was better if the ground would open now and swallow me wholly than to see my husband kissing another woman. I felt vomiting when the woman, who had her chocolate brown hair elevated above her and wore a green dress that only royal family could afford. Princess Emily.

If I saw my husband had his intimate moment with other woman, I would be hurt, but nothing could compete to the ache I had now. He had his first love in his embrace and made out for flower's sake.

Honestly, I felt nothing. I was betrayed. I was brokenhearted. But, I felt nothing. My ability to feel was already vanished because of the accumulated pain I gained since I did not know.

They stopped and Alexander was the first one who saw me, he was facing the door. The princess followed his trail, but she was more shocked than Alexander when she discovered their witness.

On ordinary days, I would start to sob and run away but instead of doing that, I still stood in front of them even though it was embarrassing for the reason that I looked like a rug. While they were wearing expensive clothes, I wore my old jacket, underneath it was old t-shirt, and had my old ragged jeans on. These were my possession before I worked for him and I would not bring anything I bought here to Chicago because it would only remind me of him.

I bowed my head to give my respect and said, "I'm sorry to interrupt you. I just want to speak with His Highness."

He cleared his throat before saying, "Please wait for me in your room," I did not know if he was speaking to Emily or me, until my name escaped his mouth, "Shirley."

That was it. He wanted me to leave them alone so he could continue their love story before having a word with me. Possibly, he was deciding if he would end our marriage while fixing things with his real love. At least he would be finally happy once I returned to my country alone for good.

I faltered and heard their whispers that squeezed my heart although I did not hear them. Who would not think again if their ex-lovers come back at the situation their wife betrayed them? It sounded fictional yet happened to Prince Alexander who was shattered because of my foolishness, but Princess Emily was there to save him.

My room had no air at all and sitting on my bed felt foreign. I put my face on my hands because I finally decided what to do. Earlier this day, I was not sure about staying or leaving. Lola advised that I should think about it again because misunderstanding should not lead my marriage into immediate end. She also told me that she would support and help me whatever my decision was.

Several minutes passed by, my door in the connecting stairs opened and revealed the person of my deepest nightmare. He held my gaze until he reached my bed and sat beside me. I did not want to acknowledge his soft facial expression, because it was only sympathy.

"Shirley, I'm sorry," he said as if a nuclear bomb blasted and targeted my heart.

He apologized because he wanted to end 'us' and returned to his true love. I did not know what their deal regarding of their respective marriages was, but it was not sinking to me. I could not absorb the events. I would not comprehend it in two years or more. Maybe, I would not love anymore.

I held his arm. I thought he would flinch and remove my hand, but he watched me like a hawk. I could still admire his beauty despite of our situation. We were nearing our conclusion so it was better if I could lose my remaining dignity to him, if ever I still had.

"Let's make love," I viewed him under my lashes. He hardened and opened his mouth to speak but decided not to continue.

He held my waist. Regardless of my jacket and t-shirt, I could still feel his heat. This was the last time I could feel him and I was going to miss every inch of his skin. I did not know if I could still have this feeling in the future.

I would do everything to make this last time to be the best whatever it took.

I sprawled on his lap, with my thighs on either side of him while we were chest to chest. Our faces were so close that I forgot the world outside. It seemed like it did not exist, and only the two of us were breathing in the same oxygen.

Our lips met each other after a long time. I initiated the kiss. My tears unexpectedly fell when I thought of these same lips were kissing another woman, told me harsh words last night, and loved by myself.

His kisses became urgent and lustful. It was not the same on his kisses during our wedding night, because that was all love and care. However, I did not mind. The more important for me was to assume that he loved me until the end. That he was mine even though he was not anymore.

I felt his hands entered the hem of my t-shirt and marked my every cell. Our lips separated so I abled to see the fire on his eyes.

"You don't know how hot that is," he murmured and his hand went up that resulted of rolling my t-shirt and exposing my stomach.

"Really?" I could not stop the smile formed on my face and started removing his business jacket.

He gave pecks to my neck. I said his name in extraordinary way, which resulted to naughtier hands on my chest. I removed his jacket and followed by his shirt. He also did that to me without difficulty.

His lips went to my chest, and he kissed each millimeter of my skin. My hands found his hair and tugged it tightly while his hands played the top of my pants.

He pushed me down on the mattress. With his skills and talent, he was the one who would lead the pace. His hands played everywhere while he started to kiss me again.

He kissed my lips. Same electricity ran to my body. His tongue impatiently entered my mouth and danced with mine. I could taste him. Nothing but him. Always him.

Even though our lives would change after, I did not think I could find another man to make me fall in love like this. Yes, I loved him and would love him until my last heartbeat. I could not see myself loving another person besides him.

While he ruled my body, I chose to observe him. Green eyes. Beautiful nose. Almost red kissable lips. Dark blonde hair. Photoshop-ed jaws. He was perfect. I would miss him so much that I would not contain any longer. I hoped that I could live without him.

My life with the prince was not literally a life living with a prince. It was more the prince who became my life. Now, I would leave that life and I was not sure if I could still breathe like I used to.

Subsequently, he slept the second time we did it. He cuddled me. His arms covered my body. I looked at him for the last time before slowly moving his grasp. He groaned so I let him have me for minutes. The time he was already sleeping deeply, I easily removed his hands and stood on the ground. I got my clothes and put it on immediately.

I had packed my things before I had gone to his office earlier. I laid two folded papers on my end table near him, one was my resignation letter and the other was my personal letter to him. Hoping he would see it first in the morning.

For the last moment, I let my eyes stayed on him. He slept peacefully while hugging my pillow. I blinked the tears away. I needed to be strong. This was for the two of us. I was not good to him anymore and he needed to make his life, even away from me. He was a Prince of England, and soon, he would rule cities and people. He did not need someone like me. He needed a woman who would not betray him. A woman who would there for him till the end.

I brought my bag with me and exited the palace as fast as I could. Probably, this was the end of my life with the prince.

-----

To Prince Alexander who created a fairytale with me.

Thank you for the love. For the past months, I endured all the things with you. From shouted by, to being loved you. It's unexplainable experience to have you as my lover. I have a lot of firsts with you, which is I'm so grateful.

I'm writing this letter to say goodbye. I don't know if I can still endure this earth without you. However, having all the memories with you in my mind, I think I can still breathe.

In music, there is an end but the tune can still play in our minds. Like our moments together. I hope these memories with you won't fade, I'm beyond willing to have them until my death.

This is the only way I can help you despite of bringing you trouble in the last days. You can move on. If we will see each other after a few years, trust me, we will already living in different paths.

Our own fairytale is unlike the stories we can see in children's books. Instead of putting "Happily ever after" in the last line, it's much better to leave it blank and go directly to the 'the end' page.

Take care of your health. Don't waste your time searching for me because you need to face the reality without me. I need space for now. I need to recover myself. And, my family needs me most. I hope you understand. Thank you so much, Alexander.

Good bye, my prince. Merry Christmas.

-Shirley Woodman