Chapter 13

SARAH

The man could make a mountain jealous with those huge shoulders and strong back, the ridge of his spine visible beneath his light blue T-shirt as he hunched over the balcony wall. The position displayed his gorgeous ass covered in the tight span of his jeans. She dragged her eyes up the impressive length of his back to the contrast of his dark hair, wishing she dared to run her fingers through those shaggy strands. Sarah clenched her hands into fists to temper the temptation and reminded herself that she was pissed with him.

They had developed a friendship that had her falling slowly but certainly in love with this enigma of a man, and he hurt her when he ghosted her and Amelia. She wasn’t sure if she was angrier at his silence toward her or her daughter, or the fact that she had to answer Amelia’s questions with nothing but assumptions. Clearing her throat, she asked softly, “What are you doing here, Gabe?”

His shoulders stiffened even more than the hardened rocks they already resembled. She could see the way his shoulders expanded as he took a deep breath before turning to her. Sarah stepped completely onto the balcony and quickly closed the door behind her before Amelia decided to peer out and see him. She wanted to know what his thoughts were before allowing him close to her daughter again.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he whispered as his royal-blue eyes moved from the messy ponytail on top of her head to the frosting-splattered pink T-shirt, jeans, and bare feet, drinking in every inch of her. He ran a hand across his face, his shadowed jaw grazing against his palm and Sarah bit her lip as she wished it was her palm against his cheek. Instead, she folded her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow, not wanting to admit how much his words affected her.

“You’re the one who caused it.” She bit her lip at the tinge of acid in her tone. Taking a deep breath, she opened her mouth to apologize but he shook his head vehemently.

“Totally deserved, Rah, so no apology needed,” he said softly, his special name for her sending a wave of heat through her stomach, his self-deprecating half smile that showed the dimple hidden in his cheek adding to the flutter of butterflies. He blew out a hard breath as he turned back to the view and shoved his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. She went to stand beside him, her arms still tightly crossed. “I owe you an apology, Rah. Nothing I say will make it less than the asshole move it was. I should have been upfront with you, and I fucked that up.”

Sarah kept her gaze on the woodlands across the highway as she listened to the husky gravel of his voice. The depth of it always sparked tiny flames along her nerve endings.

These burst into an inferno when he caught her chin between his forefinger and thumb and turned her to face him, his eyes dark with sincerity as he murmured, “I’m sorry, Sarah. To you and Amelia.”

“Why, Gabriel?” She sucked in a sharp breath at the look of torture that filled his eyes, but then he blinked, and it was gone. But she had seen it, and she wasn’t going to believe anything else. Gabriel Von Ashner had a bus full of demons he was driving, and she realized that that was part of his reason for breaking contact, for putting some space between them. She stamped down the feelings of hope that the thought brought. Gabe was a complex man, and she knew he would be a good friend, but she never expected more from him. Mostly because of the air of reserve he drew around him like a shield, but mostly because he had admitted to needing to feel his way back into civilian life after the military.

Apart from his grandmother, Gabe used that shield to keep everyone else at arm’s length, whether to protect himself from getting hurt or from hurting others, Sarah wasn’t sure. All she knew was that physically and emotionally, she trusted Gabe more than anyone else to protect them as much as she trusted Seth. Something she never thought she would be able to do, not after…

Sarah gulped as she reined in her thoughts, focusing on Gabe and the long silence that had passed since her question. He had turned back to the view, a deep frown between his dark brows, shoulders stiff as the proverbial mountain. She was tempted to wrap her arm around him, but not sure if he would accept her touch. He always froze or quickly withdrew from her on previous occasions when they came into physical contact with each other. She frowned as something else occurred to her. He had no such reserves with Amelia or the boys. A tinge of jealousy touched her, and she tried to push it aside.

He had no qualms about rolling, tumbling, spinning, or cuddling with her daughter, but when it came to her—Sarah—he was reserved. And that hurt more than anything else could.

“Sarah…” His voice was gruff. “There are things that I can’t speak about yet, Rah. I don’t know if I will ever be able to speak to ~anyone~ about them.” A deep breath and a hand through his hair. “Seth wants me to speak to a therapist and I know it can only help. But…”

“But…?” she breathed.

He exhaled loudly as he stared out at the woodlands, then glanced at her. “Have you ever made a foam bomb?”

She shook her head, confused.

“There is a moment before you open the container when all the ingredients combine and start reacting, and you can see the vessel expand. There is a moment when you can see the contraption vibrate and then you know it’s ready to be opened. And that’s when it blows.”

“And lands on your grandma’s newly permed hair?”

“That could be one of the results, yes.” He flashed her a broad grin with a touch of mischief, tilting his head from side to side. The smile faded and he became serious again. “I’m that concoction just before it blows, Rah. And I’m so afraid that when that top comes off, disaster will strike.”

She blinked up at him. “So you’re saying what, Gabe?”

His eyes were the same shade as new, dark denim, and Sarah found herself lost in the depths of their despair.

“I’m a walking disaster waiting for the explosion, Sarah. I don’t want you and Amelia to get caught in the debris.”

She reached up intending to stroke his cheek, but he caught her wrist, placed a gentle kiss on her palm, and placed her hand on the wall. “Gabe?”

He shook his head and smiled sadly. “The boys are camping at Grandma’s. Tracy is out of state for a few days. They asked if Amelia could join them for tonight please?”

“It’s the christening tomorrow,” she reminded him softly.

He nodded. “I’ll have them at the church on time, I promise. Grandma will help me curl Elli’s hair. And we won’t let her get too splattered—”

“Splattered?” Sarah shrieked.

He gave a sheepish shrug and held his hands up, but Sarah narrowed her eyes at his attempt at innocence. “Water paint, I promise.”

“If there is ~any~ paint in her hair tomorrow morning, I will ~shave your head~…”

He visibly gulped and Sarah tried to hide a smile. They stared out at the view for a while before he turned back to her. “Please tell me we’re okay?”

This time she smiled. “At least I have some idea of what’s going on in your head.”

He laughed out really loud, the sound filling her system like rain in a desert. “~Some~ being the operative word, Sarah Marshall!”

“You hungry?”

He raised an eyebrow at her question.

“I put blueberry muffins into the oven when Seth called me so they should be ready about now.”

“What do you think?” he asked as he followed her through the front door.

“Gabe!” Amelia called as she ran directly to him. He caught her easily and tossed her into the air making her squeal and laugh.

“Hey, little Meerkat!” Sarah swallowed the emotions at the pure joy on Gabe’s face when he blew a raspberry on Amelia’s stomach.

“You guys okay?” Seth asked her softly as they watched the two of them play.

She tilted her head as she watched Gabe, his strong arms bunching as he tossed Amelia in the air. Sarah wished he could interact with her the way he was playing with her daughter, but she understood the reason why. She just wondered if she was one of those ingredients that added to the foam thing he mentioned. With a shuddering breath, she prepared the muffins for the two men while making Mickey Mouse pancakes for Amelia.

Half an hour later, Amelia was packed off for her backyard camp, her dress for the next morning in a clothes bag with her shoes and other accessories in her tote. Sarah waved them off from her spot on the balcony, Seth at her shoulder.

When they were out of sight, Seth turned to her. “Sar, we need to talk.”

She turned to Seth with a frown. He hadn’t sounded this serious in a very long time… In fact, before he met Indie. “Okay.”

They went into the kitchen and Seth settled on his familiar spot on the counter and she leaned against the counter next to the oven, her safe spot. He picked up another muffin and picked out the blueberries, chewing them slowly as he tried to frame his next words.

“We arrested Christiano on our last shift.”

Sarah blinked at him. His last shift was Thursday night, which meant he kept it from her for two whole days. But something else snagged her attention. “Who’s ~we~?”

Felicity was his partner, but he sometimes shared a shift with Gabe if she was on another assignment. She arched an eyebrow at him when he took a mouthful of muffin.

“Jiminy,” he mumbled around the treat.

“What does he know?” she asked softly.

He took another big bite, and she knew it wasn’t going to be good. She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for him to finish. Before he could take another bite, she lifted the muffin from between his fingers and held it over the waste disposal. When he eyed her mutinously and reached for the plate that still held two more, she scooped it off the counter and placed it far away from his long fingers. He paled and held up his hands.

“Fine! Fine! Just spare my muffin’s life!” She raised her eyebrows at him as she activated the switch, bringing the machine to life. He jumped from the counter and raced to rescue his muffin which Sarah just dropped lower over the disposal.

“What. Does. He. Know?” she demanded through gritted teeth.

“I was fucked when I recognized the fucker, Sarah. We were sent to investigate some suspicious activity around one of the alleys close to your restaurant. When we pitched up, the guy ran, and we gave chase until Gabe caught him. My reaction was…strong…to say the least. I blurted it out when he asked.”

“Shit, Sethford!” she hissed. “Why didn’t he say anything when we spoke just now?”

Seth shrugged as he kept an eye on Sarah’s drooping arm. He switched off the disposal and swooped out to rescue the treat, putting whatever was left in his mouth before she could react. He retreated to the other part of the kitchen to savor the mouthful before he answered her. “Knowing Gabriel, he probably thought it was up to you to tell him about it.”

“Oh.”

His phone chimed, and he breathed a sigh of relief. “Gotta go to work.”

“Seth!” Sarah scolded as he snagged another muffin before grabbing his bag and running for the door, his laughter drowning out her angry Italian scolding.