CH. 27 All or nothing (Part 1)

My dear all ... so here comes a new chapter of this story and you might be happy to know it's just the first part, since it's coming out rather long.. It's an intense and essential chapter and I could not have it short. There are too many things to be discussed and too many people involved.. That's why we have several POVs.

Hope very much you'll enjoy it, so please let me know with your comments and messages, as they are amazing and they are heart-warming and love them! THANK YOU VERY MUCH for the support you all give me!!

On the right a picture of OLEG --> Vince Ramos

Dedicated to all of you, in particular to ANATOLEG fans and in specific to LEAMS2 as a THANK YOU for your comments and for reading my stories and being a fan of them!

N.B. Have a look at the SHOUT-OUTS in my author's chit-chat !!!

Enjoy!

OLEG POV

I had to travel with Mr. Denisov outside New York to assist him in an important business meeting and make sure everything worked as it was supposed to go. He might be a businessman and run a big import and export company and you might think that protection was not necessary, but it is here that you are at fault. Men like Mr. Denisov needed protection and loyal assistance, because they were powerful men with many connections and interests and you never knew who might not like it. And believe me when I say that out there the competition was merciless. But Mr. Denisov was a man of principles and was clean and always operated in the best and most fair way, never thinking of crossing the law, because he said that would only create more problems.

We had to meet a new client to introduce a new good in the export sector and the client was interested in trying to sell the product in the Baltic regions, given it might be profitable. If Mr. Denisov was willing to enter the deal it meant that it was going to be profitable for sure. He was a great man and I had been lucky to meet him that day of many years ago, and so was his family that welcomed me immediately. It was not an exaggeration or simple showing off when I said I would gladly take a bullet for them; to be fair, I would take a whole magazine if that meant to save their life.

Now I simply sat with Mr. Denisov and the client after providing all the necessary means and assistance, silently observing and interacting only when it was the right time to do it. But there was something in the back of my neck leaving me rather unsettled and I wished to conclude this deal soon in order to drive back to New York.

I felt as if something was out of place and that had to do with Anatoly.

He had behaved oddly this week and when I confronted him to understand what was making him act in such conspicuous way, he just shrugged his shoulders and said it was just me seeing things. He had not reacted or talked back or anything of the sort he would usually do and that was strange for him; I knew of course he had begun to realize he needed to change the path of his life after that confrontation with that young kid, Dmitri’s partner, but there was something else and that left me restless. I took him to ride the bike outside New York and he was really talented, but needed to polish his style and avoid being that much reckless for nothing. I suppose that would never change, it was probably his own way of riding the bike.

I quickly gazed out of the window of the office and in that moment I heard Mr. Denisov and the client saying it was fine and that deal was sealed. I immediately turned my attention back to them and stood up, waiting for them to shake hands; I politely saluted the man and collected Mr. Denisov’s belongings and opened the door checking the outside. He gave me a genuine smile and motioned for me to follow and I believe he wanted to talk about something.

Once we reached the car, a sleek black BMW X6, I opened the back seat door, but he shook his head and sat beside me, basically as usual. It was however my duty first to open the back seat door. He sat and after calling his wife and inquiring how she was doing, he switched it off and I felt his gaze on me.

“Oleg, is something troubling you? Do not get me wrong, you are always your perfect and efficient self, but we know each other for so long that I can tell something is giving you thoughts.” He asked me in Russian, as when alone or inside the house, we always spoke only Russian.

“Sir, everything is fine. I apologize if my behavior had not been professional as it should be. I assure you there is nothing troubling me.” I simply answered, as it was not the case to tell him that I was thinking about his own son and feeling a rather strange sensation in the back of my neck.

I hoped that immature brat stayed out of troubles, at least right now, when I was not there to look after him and drag him out of risky situations. I did not like the idea of having to leave New York right when my instinct was alerted, but it was my job and when we left yesterday, Anatoly was at home just watching TV. It seemed normal and quiet, but it was right when things looked calm that you had to expect something and right now I could not wait to reach New York and check on him. He had a talent for getting into messy situations and he needed to grow up and change.

“You have nothing to apologize for, Oleg. You are a human being, too, even if a very tough one.” Mr. Denisov softly chuckled and I felt again his gaze on me. “I suppose it is not my place to enquire about your private life.”

“Sir, there is nothing...” He stopped me.

“Don’t worry, I understand.” Mr. Denisov paused a moment and then continued. “My son, Tolya, I see he is changing and I must thank you for this, because I know you are doing an incredible job in looking after him and of course I know you don’t simply stop at just looking after him, but you actually try to make him reason. Thank you, Oleg.”

“Sir, you give me credit I do not deserve, but it is an honor for me to serve your family and be of any assistance.” He chuckled again and I noticed how he always was of good mood when he spoke about his family.

“You are too modest and even if I agree is it not just you, as I heard from Dima what happened with Jasper, you still had a considerable effect on my son and I can tell he likes you, even though he will never admit it.” At those words, when Mr. Denisov said Anatoly liked me, my hands imperceptibly tightened the grip on the steering wheel and of course he noticed nothing, as it was only an undetectable particular, but I reprimanded myself for even just reacting to that. What he meant was something completely different. “I am sorry if this is a trouble for you, but it is clear Tolya likes you and I can see it by the way he annoys you with going to ride the bike. Thank you.”

I kept silent for a split of a second to order my thoughts and then spoke in my usual controlled and measured way.

“It is an honor for me and not a trouble. I took the liberty of thinking that driving a bike would be a good idea to distract him. I believe Anatoly is slowly changing, but the credit belongs only to Dmitri and his partner, Jasper Lucas.”

Mr. Denisov studied me and from the corner of my eye I could see him thinking about something and then nodding.

“Yes, he is slowly changing and I don’t even need to tell you what this means for my wife and also for Dima, even if he is another one that will not admit it right now. And well of course, for me too.” He then said something completely unexpected that took me almost off guard. Almost. “Oleg, perhaps are you concerned about Tolya? You worry he might get himself in trouble when you are not there for him?”

Again my hands tightened the grip in an invisible motion and I commanded my face and voice to look and sound in the usual calculated and impassive way. Yes of course I was worrying about that troublemaker of a punk, but it was not something I could tell Mr. Denisov. Anatoly was his son and fourteen years younger than me.

“Sir, it is my job to make sure he does not get involved with further problems that might weight on his own self and on the family.”

“And I thank you for this. You have our deepest and most sincere gratitude.”

I simply nodded and kept driving and after a couple of hours we reached New York and thus I followed the way back to Mr. Denisov’s residence and right when we were about to arrive at destination, his mobile phone rang and when he answered it was his other son, Dmitri.

“Dima, what happened?” The sudden worried sound of his voice alerted me immediately. “Yes, Oleg is here with me.” He paused and gasped. “What? What happened to Tolya?” I took a sharp breath and almost crushed the steering wheel with my grip. Damn it. “Yes, he’s here, wait a moment.” Mr. Denisov switched the phone on speaker so that we both could hear Dmitri speaking, but I let him no time, as I spoke first.

“Dmitri, what happened with Anatoly?” I asked rather too demanding and I knew Mr. Denisov detected something in my voice.

“Oleg man, I am not sure, I just received a phone call from Jas and now I am driving there and Sasha just told me not to worry, since he was going there too with Vanya, but don’t know what the hell happened. I think he had got beaten and pretty badly and Jas was rather nervous and said something like he quitted his gang or whatever, but don’t know. Man, you idiot just the get the f*ck out of my way, you retard.” He was cursing at someone while he drove and I could tell he was extremely worried, even if he tried to keep calm.

“Give me the address and tell me when happened.” I demanded.

“I have no idea when happened, man. Jasper just called a moment ago and told me he and Travis and Stevie found him lying in an alley and he looked like crap and Travis called for help, but that idiot didn’t want to involve a hospital and you know how moronic that bastard can be.” I exhaled and for once I was happy his stubborn side took a good decision. Calling the ambulance would mean too many questions and he was in no position to answer them. Dmitri gave me the address and I programmed the GPS on board.

“Be there in few minutes Dmitri.” I made a u-turn and followed the direction the GPS indicated on the screen. I exchanged a quick glance with Mr. Denisov and he had turned pale and he simply nodded to me, meaning he was coming too. “You said that Aleksandr is coming with his brother?”

“Yeah, he said that.”

“Good. Wait for me there and don’t move him around, but Ivan will not what to do.” Mr. Lebedev’s older son was studying to become a doctor and he sure knew how to act.

“Alright, see you there and dad, don’t worry. He’ll be fine, Tolya is a tough one, he’s my twin brother.”

“Yes, Dima, know what you mean.”

I turned off the conversation and cursed in my head. I knew there was something unsettling me since yesterday and now I understood what that was.

That immature punk had to do something so damn dangerous right when I was not there to guard his back; Anatoly had left the gang and of course you cannot leave a gang without paying for that and usually it took a rather painful payback and right now I was on my most dangerous and simmering raging mood, even though I knew I looked completely calm and cold. I was proud of him for taking such important decision and it was about time, but at the same time I was angry he did it when I was away and told me nothing. He acted too impulsively.

But mostly, I was deadly enraged towards those vermin that made the mistake of hitting him.

They were all going to pay for this, all of them, and I was going to damn enjoy it.

TRAVIS POV

This guy here was in rather bad conditions and I just saw myself there for a moment and I kept myself calm and collected only because Jasper was freaking out hell time and because I had in front of me the brother of one of my dearest friends. But the fact he didn’t want to call help was a problem and I was worried and so I called Alexi, because I needed to hear his reassuring voice and because I knew he would want to know what happened.

“Oh boy, look at his wrist, there is blood dripping from there.” Cutie panicked and I took a deep breath, dialing my sex-beast’s number.

“Listen Anatoly, you better tell me. You got stubbed there?” I pointed his arm and he just hissed a sound and got it was a yes. “Hell, why people have always to enjoy cutting and stubbing other people?” I was shivering in growing anger right now, remembering what happened to me and also to Jasper. I wanted to punch this moron here in front of me, but if it was true he had left the gang and hell, he sure looked like crap, well, that could wait for now. “Jas, use this.” I gave him my scarf and told him to tie it around his arm, hoping that would somehow work with the wound and stop the blood, which was dripping down his wrist and hand.

“Why..who..” The moron tried to say, but he grimaced because of course talking was painful for him.

“Just keep quiet and don’t talk, it’s clearly hurting you.” Alexi did not answer and I tried again to call him, hoping he had done with the gym. I needed to get in touch with him, because he was the only person right now that would keep calm and cold and would know what to do. Dima would overreact right now; Anatoly was his own twin brother and I knew he also was Alexi’s friend, but my love wouldn’t overreact and would simply sort things out. “I’m calling Alexi and don’t bother asking why, since you should know it already. As Jasper said, you’re Dima’ brother and of course we all worry; if you got a problem with what we are doing, bite me, you can kiss my sexy ass.”

He rolled his eyes and grunted something.

“Not the mighty Sasha.” He hissed out in pain.

“You moronic peanut-size-brain idiot. You think that Alexi would just walk away and leave you there like that? Hell, you are lucky to be in such conditions or else I’d kick your sorry ass. You should know him way better than this, since you once were close friends, right? He would never let you there and you f*cking know it.” I snapped. People mistook Alexi for a cold beast that cared about nobody, but that was so damn wrong.

He answered the phone and I exhaled out in relief.

“Hey love, I was thinking about you. I saw your calls, everything ok?” He had already understood something was off.

“Alexi, we need your help.”

“What happened Travis?” His voice sounded imperative and hard at once, clearly worrying about me.

“I am fine don’t worry, but we found Anatoly in an alley and hell, he has been beaten and he said he left the gang. He doesn’t want to call the ambulance, since probably he’s right, given the deep sh!t he’s into, but he looks bad and I am afraid that he might have something broken, hopefully not his ribs, but maybe his arm and fingers judging but the way they look like, and..” He stopped my babbling as I was talking at the light speed.

“Travis love, relax and calm down. Tell me exactly where you are and I’ll be there in no time. Don’t move him or anything. Call Dima and then I will call him too and I’ll get Vanya. Wait for me there, ok baby?”

“Yes, thank you.” Just two words from my Alexi and I was back to my calm and composed self and I knew he would be here really in no time.

“Jas, he’s coming. You better call Dima and tell him.” Cutie nodded and called his boyfriend and hell, I could hear him from here cursing on the phone and Jas tried his best to calm him down, but then he probably got it wasn’t the moment to freak out and so changed tone of voice. Jasper looked immediately calmer and I smiled. I did well calling Alexi at first.

“He’s coming and will be here soon and uhm well, said he would call Oleg.” He gave me a half smile and I smiled back, reaching for his shoulders. Stevie was still under some shock, but then the princess finally woke up and walked to his friend.

“Hey Jazz, they’ll know what to do.” He then looked at Anatoly. “So you really left the gang?” The other one blinked a yes and Stevie snorted. “Now you know what we went through when you beat the crap out of us two years ago.”

His tone was bitter and who the hell would blame him? I would react in the same way. For him Anatoly was nothing but a damn bastard and it wasn’t easy to forget such things. I knew it too well. He told me Jasper actually went to the hospital once because he had too much pain on his side and they were worried he might have a broken rib; but lucky him it was nothing. Hell, just thinking about that made me want to beat him, but looking at him right now, looking so tired and empty, well, I understood what Jasper meant. This guy here was an empty shell and had something clearly eating him from the inside. It was interesting though to notice a reaction in him when Jasper talked about this Oleg. Anatoly widened his eyes and opened his mouth, but closed it. I wondered what was eating him inside, but bet my sexy butt it was some big hell deal.

After little time Alexi reached the place and I could tell he had ran to here, probably because had to park the car relatively far. Ivan was there with him and my boyfriend immediately came over me and gave me a reassuring and deep kiss.

“Baby, I’m here.” He simply said. He then turned to Jasper and placed his hand on his shoulder and gave him a smile. Cutie relaxed a bit and then Alexi looked at Anatoly. It was hard to say what he was thinking about and what he felt looking at his former friend lying on the ground in that state, but I think I could guess most of his thoughts and I understood why he decided not to say a single word. They exchanged a quick and mute glance and hell, Anatoly looked completely shocked.

“Sasha…” He breathed out.

Alexi gave him a piercing glare and then turned his head to Ivan and the guy was already squatting down Dima’s brother and carefully checking him out. He had a first aid box and a bag full of medical utensils with him and before touching Anatoly, he wore those gloves that surgeons usually have.

ALEKSANDR POV

Vanya and I ran to the place, because we had to leave the pickup quite far. How the hell Travis and Jasper managed to find him in that place? What were they doing there? I’ll have to ask him later, because it wasn’t some main street, but maybe it had to do with some of my love’s favorite shops.

When we arrived my eyes immediately found Travis and as first thing I walked to him and pulled him in my arms, feeling better knowing he was now safe with me; I kissed for a brief, but deep moment and felt how he immediately relaxed. He looked composed and calm, because had to be there for his best friend, but I knew what this was moving inside him and at first I cursed that bastard over there. When they told where they found him, I flew to the place not caring of the traffic lights and speed limits; I had to arrive as soon as possible and make sure Travis was fine. I wanted also to make sure Jasper was fine, since I understood how he could feel and that was the reason I called Dima and told him I was bringing my brother.

“Baby, I’m here.” I told Travis and he smiled at me and laced his hand with mine. I then turned to Jasper and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Dima will be here soon, Jas.” I gave him a smile and he smiled back, but he was still very nervous and tense, and I knew only my friend could make him feel better. I looked at Steven and he simply nodded. He had a hard and granitic face and I sure did not blame him. Then I turned to that bastard.

It was not so easy to look at someone that used to be your friend, your good and close friend, now lying on a dirty street and look like that. They had really beaten him up wildly and badly and the way he held his torso had me worry about his ribcage. I didn’t know what to say and so I said nothing. Right now I wasn’t in the mood to speak and if I were to talk, I had no idea what I could say. Anatoly looked in real bad conditions and we just exchanged a mute glance and my eyes stared at him hard and icily; he looked shocked to see me here, but he really thought I would leave my best friend’s brother lying on the street like that without doing anything? He really thought I would leave a past friend in such grave conditions without trying to help out?

I think he guessed part of my thoughts, at least a bit of them, as I knew in this moment only Travis could guess what was going on in my mind, but he had always been sharper than Dima and rather quick to grasp things. Not like River, but similar, only more introspective and less out-going. Anatoly looked at me another time. I wanted to tell him many things, ask him many things and understand what the hell happened years ago, but I decided it was better to keep my mouth shut. It wasn’t the moment; I looked at his face and at his swollen eye and busted lips. He had been lucky, that I could tell even without being a doctor.

“Sasha..” He breathed out, then grimacing for the pain.

I just gave him another hard and intense glare and he understood what I meant with that. He had to keep put and just wait for the right moment. My brother shot me a quick look and then went to Anatoly’s side and began to examine his wounds.

TRAVIS POV

“Ok, here is the deal. You don’t need to speak, because I can tell it’s rather painful for you, so just blink. Alright? Now, don’t move and simply blink once if the pain is normal.”

After a couple of minutes Dima reached us and ran towards Jasper.

“Hey kitty I am here.”

“Dima!” He hugged him very tightly and then let go after a second. “Ivan is checking on your brother.”

Dmitri nodded and went on the other side of his brother, cutie there with him; he was worried, but tried his best to conceal it to stay calm. They looked alike of course, but different at the same time, and not just because Anatoly had been beaten up.

“So you finally left that sh!tty gang? About time, blockhead.” Anatoly rolled his eyes for that, but it was clear he was happy to see his brother. “Oleg is about to arrive and he didn’t sound too happy, so you’ll have to explain us many things and man, you must do it from the beginning. Dad is coming too and you know we all want to know why the hell you had to join that gang of losers and behave like a sick bastard.”

“He’s right, Anatoly.” Alexi kept my hand in his and looked at him directly in his eyes. He finally said something and hell, I think he wanted to say way more, but he knew it wasn’t the moment. “I’m not going to force you on telling me everything, as I am not your family, but you better tell them what the hell happened and then begin to beg for their forgiveness. You better beg for Jasper and Steven’s forgiveness too, as now you know and feel on your skin what you put defenseless kids through, right?”

Anatoly only looked at him and sort of hissed out a “yes”.

“Alright guys, I think he has no ribs broken, but maybe one or two aren’t exactly completely fine and his forearm is obviously broken and a couple of fingers are twisted and I can tell from the bruises on the knuckles that he sure left some damages too. You are lucky to have still all of your teeth, believe me, given the way your lips look.” In that moment other two people joined us and they were Dmitri’s father and a rather young and scary looking man with dark eyes and hard stare. He was taller than Alexi and from the way Anatoly widened his eyes, I got that man was Oleg.

“Tolya, what happened? How do you feel? Vanya, is he alright?” Mr. Denisov took two steps and was right beside his son, looking helluva pale and tense.

Oleg observed everything with apparent calm and coldness and then walked to Anatoly, and spoke to him in Russian, probably demanding something. His voice had all of us, aside Alexi and Mr. Denisov, gulp down and shiver. My ass he was calm; that man was raging mad.

ANATOLY POV

I first stared at Sasha in complete shock, not believing that he was there and had actually brought his brother with him. He didn’t say a word of course, only spared me a rather hard glare, but he was there.

I haven’t seen in such long time and he hadn’t changed much, aside getting bigger and taller; the mighty Sasha was still a beast of a guy that would be the dream of every gay guy out there. Damn, I was such a fag. But never really felt attraction for Sasha, but I always looked up at him and I knew the only way to make him hate me was to insult the people he loved and betray his trust. It worked very well, but now seeing him here, I don’t know, it moved many things inside me and had me remember too much. That annoying chipmunk was so damn right…I really freaking wasted a lot of time. He first went to his man, that Travis guy, and damn it, he kissed him there without a care. I couldn’t even believe it. Was that the same Sasha I knew? He then reassured Jasper and finally turned to me; impossible as usual say what was he thinking about when staring at people with those icy and hard eyes.

But he was there and even if he came just because that guy called him, well, he came and brought his brother with him, who I knew was going to become a doctor.

After few minutes my brother arrived and the annoying little chipmunk jumped on him for a hug and that dofus smiled relaxing, because when he arrived and saw me here as first thing, he had paled down. He walked to me and crouched down beside me and of course his little pet had to stick at me.

Argh…I was exactly as Travis said; a peanut-size-brain moron. Jasper had found me and instead of walking away and leaving me here rotting on this street he stayed and called for help. I never thought he would do such thing as I never thought Sasha would actually come over to help me.

“So you finally left that sh!tty gang? About time, blockhead.” I couldn’t help rolling my eyes and even that damn hurt. F*ck it. “Oleg is about to arrive and he didn’t sound too happy, so you’ll have to explain us many things and man, you must do it from the beginning. Dad is coming too and you know we all want to know why the hell you had to join that gang of losers and behave like a sick bastard.”

When I heard his name my eyes widened instinctively, thinking that he didn’t sound too happy on the phone, while probably with my father, well, I had no idea what he might look like once he would be here. Then my brother’s words registered in my brain and I wished I could curse, but that was too painful. Darn it, I was so pathetic.

Oh great, now I’ll have to deal with all of them at once and I knew that I owed them an explanation and damn it, Oleg was right and since I took the firm decision of leaving the gang, I took as well the decision of telling my parents and brother what happened years ago. All the damn crap.

Right now it was all or nothing.

And let’s pray they won’t kick me out or throw holy water on me.

“He’s right, Anatoly.” Sasha said, holding his man’s hand and staring down at me with piercing eyes. “I am not going to force you on telling me everything, as I am not your family, but you better tell them what the hell happened and then begin to beg for their forgiveness. You better beg for Jasper and Steven’s forgiveness too, as now you know and feel on your skin what you put defenseless kids through, right?”

I tried to breathe out a “yes”, but only a hiss left my mouth.

Yeah, he hadn’t changed one freaking bit. I quickly peeked at Travis and remembered what I have heard happening to him in January. Sasha must have gone completely berserk and I understood the reason now, seeing them together; the mighty Sasha was deeply in love with that guy.

And what he said…was just what Oleg said too. They were both right.

Now I completely realized how low I had f*cking sunk.

I had really behaved like the worst piece of junk and did I really deserve their forgiveness? Not so sure about it.

I still remember the times he came over talking to me and trying to make me reason; I knew he had some huge crap going on at that time, but he still tried to come over and see what was wrong. Too bad I was too scared and disgusted to trust even my best friends. I behaved in such a way that when I saw him there few seconds ago, I was shocked. I was sure I was dead for him, like for my other friends and family, but apparently I was wrong and that midget there was right. How freaking annoying was that?

Ivan talked to me in Russian and asked me few things and the pain was about to make me pass out, but he said it was just because my forearm had a minor fracture and because I had been beaten up pretty savagely. According to him I had no broken ribs, but he said I had to make x-ray and a scan, to see whether I had internal damages. He had checked many parts of my abdomen and chest and said I had been lucky, but not so sure I could call myself lucky.

This wasn’t over.

Right when he was blocking my arm to avoid moving it, I saw dad and Oleg arriving and I froze on the spot and gulped down. My father had a pale and tense face and I think I never saw him so worry in my entire life, his eyes scanned the whole scene quickly and then he spoke in English with nervous voice. But what had me gulping down and almost retreat back trying to disappear in the wall was the hard and dark glare Oleg shot me. He was standing there in his impeccable black suit and white shirt and grey tie and looking down at me with such intimidating and severe eyes that I knew at once he was damn mad at me, but couldn’t understand the darn reason, since I had just left gang. If anything, he should be happy, given he bugged me for months about the need to grow up and become a man.

That scary bastard, why had to look at me like that? What have I done of wrong this time? This was pissing me off so f*cking much.

But then he spoke in Russian and I had no idea how to describe what came over me. Oleg wasn’t simply mad; that man was violently, but controlled, enraged.

“I want all of their names because I know there are some that always keep in the dark. I want all of them and then I want a clear explanation on why you had to do something like this right today.” I only swallowed down and even my dad and Dima snapped their heads at him surprised. What he meant with today? What was wrong with today? I gave him a rather confused look and he took another step closer to me. “I was not here and right when I was not here you had to do something as dangerous as leaving the gang out of the blue. You knew you had a price to pay for it, but what if they went too far?”

I just blinked.

“Is this true Tolya? You really left the gang?” I tried to nod, but Oleg spoke first.

“Do not move.” He took two steps back and took his phone, calling someone. He quietly talked to a person, but couldn’t hear a damn word. He then walked back and talked to my father. “Sir, I just contacted a friend working in a private military clinic and they will take care of everything keeping it quiet.”

“Thank you Oleg, thank you.” Dad smiled at him.

Sasha and Ivan then went to talk to him and they explained few things and of course the mighty Sasha wasn’t intimidated by that scary dude. They might even have contest, but well, bet Oleg would win it.

Two men arrived after some time and before moving me, they talked to Ivan and with Oleg and after that they wrapped a collar around my neck and gently made me lie on a stretcher, strapping me tightly on there and then taking me inside the back a of military ambulance. Dad and Dima followed me, while Oleg waited outside. They of course had to stick a long needle in me and when I grimaced, my brother asked what was and soon I realized it was a very powerful painkiller that had me almost drifting off. The pain soothed down shortly and my tired and empty body relaxed.

“We need to call mom and she’ll be overly freaked.” Dima said, ruffling his hair.

“Oleg just went for her and they will join us at the clinic.” Dad sighed out and rubbed his eyes. “Tolya, we really want to understand what happened to you. Why did you have to join a gang? Do you know the consequences of that? You put in danger your life and your future. Look at you now, Oleg was right before. Society isn’t very open to former gang member, but that’s not the point. We want to understand what happened, if we did something wrong, what that was…” I stopped him, well, tried to stop him.

“Err, dad, I think he’s trying to say something.”

“Nothing wrong..” I hissed out still feeling some pain. “You did nothing wrong, it was me. I was wrong and sick.”

They both stared at me not understanding, but I was too tired to explain everything now and I wanted also mum to be present and as well that intimidating bastard of Oleg, even if he had already guessed. Now it was all or nothing. Dima looked at me and exhaled frustrated and that had me chuckling.

“What are you laughing at? Damn it, you are lucky that my baby found you and that Sasha came over with Vanya. I can’t concentrate to understand what you mean, so we’ll talk later when you’ll be able to speak and when I’ll have my kitty with me. I need him to keep calm, because right now I feel like punching you.”

“Dmitri.” Dad said.

“No dad, no Dmitri. This idiot here had himself almost killed and I understand now what Oleg meant, and as Sasha said, you better explain us everything, I mean damn everything man.”

I stared at him a moment trying to sort out my feelings, but they were so confused right now. Did I still have feelings for this dofus here? Not so sure, as right now I just saw my twin brother in front me, worrying and messing his hair in frustration and groaning curses in Russian.

“Yes Dima and also the chipmunk.”

“Hey, drop it. Jasper isn’t a freaking chipmunk. He’s my sexy and hot boyfriend, go that?” Oh please spare me from the idiocy of my own brother. I wanted to stick a finger in my mouth to gag, but couldn’t move my arms. Honestly, Dima was an idiot. How could he speak so bluntly in front of dad? And our father didn’t even care about the loads of bull he just said. “So, you got that?”

I rolled my eyes and snorted and he snorted too.

“Fine, midget then.” He groaned visibly annoyed.

“You..” He went to say, but I stopped him.

“I am sorry, Dima.” He froze on the spot and so did my dad. They looked at me as if looking at some lunatic madman. “For everything and Jasper was right. I miss you. I miss you all.” I shifted my eyes to our father. “I am sorry dad, for everything I have done.”

I knew that few words weren’t enough and I might never gain their forgiveness, but I had to say it.

I had to finally let it out and be honest.

Author's chit-chat:

SHOUT-OUTS TO:   prettyprincess226 and her story "THE GIRL INSIDE OF ME" and then to ChuChuMunchh and the story "(BOYXBOY) A CONTROLLED HEARTBREAKER"  so go check them out!

Ok, I am sorry it took me a week to update, but I had honestly no time. Hope you enjoyed this 1st part of the chapter and part 2 should be out tomorrow or on Thursday.

So, what do you think of all these POV? Which one you enjoyed most? Did you expect Oleg reacting like this or not? What about Alexi?

In Part 2 we'll have Dima POV and then more Anatoly POV and a bit I guess of Jasper and who knows who else...Any particular POV you will expect? I guess we know what's going to happen and how will Tolya's family react to that? Are you worried?

Until next time, which is very soon! xox