Between Desire and Denial: Chapter 19

A damn dating app. Was she trying to kill me? I could handle a long workday, I could handle giving her time, I could handle pretending to be just her damn friend for a few weeks.

I would not endure watching her date other men though.

I fantasized about the woman having my damn children at this point. It was obsessive and not what I planned for, but it didn’t matter. I was beyond that now.

“Because that’s how people date and hook up, Dimitri,” she said like I was an imbecile. “I told you I wanted to see what people had to offer. Haven’t you used one?”

“I can honestly say I haven’t.” And she wasn’t going to be using one for long either.

“Really?” She looked shocked. “Not even in college?”

“In college I was studying and—”

“According to some, you were setting fire to buildings and hooking up with every woman you could.”

I chuckled. “The fire was an experiment gone wrong.”

“How exactly does that happen in the middle of the night?”

“My chem professor unlocked a couple doors for us to get into a restricted part of a lab late one night, and she was showing me how two chemicals can react, but then we weren’t paying attention because …” I drifted off with the story.

See, this was the difference between me and Olive. She’d tell me all about a dating app because I was truly just her friend. I wouldn’t tell her about hooking up with a woman because I didn’t see her as a friend at all. After the bathtub, I’d thought of her every second of every day. And I’d worked hard to quell the thoughts, but they weren’t going away. I knew that now.

“What?” she encouraged me but then narrowed her eyes. “You were fooling around with her?”

Her eyes darkened, I swear, and I could see how she was turned-on by talking about me being with someone else. She was insatiable. “You want me to tell you about it?”

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as if she needed to break our connection. “Stop it.” She yanked her foot out of my grasp and sat up on her side, causing the blanket to fall from her chest. She was wearing something completely different from what she normally did. It was a cute white top that barely covered her midriff. I couldn’t look away from how bouncy her tits looked or how her thighs felt so smooth next to mine. “It’s bad that I almost said yes. It’s—”

“Or maybe it’s good. You’re finding out what you want to experience. You like me talking through sex out loud, I’m happy to.”

“I would probably enjoy listening to that story, but we’re staying focused on the PG version. Weren’t you scared?”

“Of the explosion or—”

“Of breaking into the building with her and doing that?”

“I’ll only live once,” I said.

“So, you should probably try a dating app.” She giggled to herself and threw herself back onto her pillow to look at her phone again. “I’ve had some good dates on this app. I’m actually surprised you’ve never tried one. How old are you, anyway?”

“Old enough to know I can fuck you better than any of the men on that app.” I squeezed her leg as my mind wandered to who’d she’d been with since me. “How many dates have you gone on?”

“Oh gosh. Does it matter?” she breathed out, and I felt how her thigh shook under my touch.

“To me it does.”

“Why?”

“Because I want to make sure each of those guys is forgotten by the time I’m done with you tonight.”

“You’ve been done with me since we announced our friendship, Dimitri,” she said even though her voice was breathless, and she spread her legs as I pushed her panties to the side.

I felt her slit, wanting to see how turned-on she was. “Why are you wet then?”

“Barely,” she teased me. “I’ve been much more turned-on before. I’ve actually had some great conversations with guys on here that—”

I swore into the night. “Watch yourself, Olive. If I lick that pussy, it’s going to be soaking, and you know it.”

She singsonged, “I don’t think so.”

I sat up and started to inch her shorts down. She wanted to be a smart-ass, I was going to see how much of me she could handle.

“Dimitri, what are you doing?” she whispered.

“Lift your hips, honey. I want to see how wet you are.”

“Really?” Instead of being embarrassed, she was intrigued, and I could see the hunger in her eyes.

Once I had the shorts off, I hummed as I stared down at her bare pussy with her tan thighs closed. Already, I saw how her clit glistened. “Not wet enough, huh?”

“No,” she said in a breathy tone.

“Want me to make you wetter?”

She bit her lip. We were crossing the line again, and saying yes meant she condoned it. She nodded her head and watched as I gathered spit and let it fall from my mouth directly onto her clit. She gasped at the cool liquid running onto her and between her legs. “Already wetter, and I haven’t even touched you. How much do you want me to?”

“Depends on if you can lick me there and make my pussy wetter than anyone ever has before.” The smile on her face was devilish even as she blushed. I loved seeing how she wanted to push my limits.

“With your filthy mouth, I should bite you for punishment instead.”

She still had that phone in her hand as I ran one finger over her slit, and she clutched it to her chest as she shivered. She wasn’t paying that app any attention as I rubbed her back and forth. I was trying to keep my other hand to myself, to not completely position myself between her legs and taste her, and to keep this as just a lesson. She needed to know I was the one who’d give her pleasure now, that she didn’t have to look anywhere else.

Yet, even as her hips rocked back and forth, she sighed, returning to her phone. “So, I think maybe this guy might be nice.”

Fuck. Was this really happening? Was she looking at other men while I got her off?

“Show me.”

Her eyes jumped over to me as she held her phone over her shoulder like she was hiding the screen. “No way.” I slid a finger into her slow and her eyelids drooped as she whimpered, “None of them are going to be as good as this.”

“What?” I asked. She’d murmured the last sentence, but I wanted her to shout it from the rooftops. Damn right no one was going to be better.

“Nothing.” She shook her head back and forth, her eyes closed while her hips pumped up and down on my finger.

And I heard her arousal, so soaked it made sounds with her movements. She couldn’t give a shit about those guys when I was making her feel like this, right?

“Olive, come on, I’m a friend,” I taunted her. “You said that’s what we are now. Show me a match. I’ll tell you if you should swipe right or left.”

“You know the difference?”

“Just because I don’t indulge in the app doesn’t mean I don’t know how to use it.”

She sighed and wiggled away from me. “Fine. Be honest, okay?”

“Nope.” I gripped her thigh and held her close. “You show me while I touch you.”

“What?”

“You heard me.” My voice was low and in command.

“This is a bad idea,” she warned but I wouldn’t agree now. She’d been sleeping against me every night for a fucking week, and I couldn’t handle it anymore.

“Why? If a man isn’t getting you as excited as I am, you shouldn’t be indulging him anyway. I’m just giving you an example.” I took my time dragging my hand up her leg before I pulled it around my waist so I could sit between her legs.

I touched a drop of arousal that dripped from her and dragged it up against her clit. She hissed and I chuckled. “I wish you could see how pretty your pussy looks right now. So ready for me.”

She took a shaky breath. “Dimitri,” she moaned, and her eyes were finally on me, all warm chocolate lit with a hungry fire that I wanted to see.

“Go on.” I tilted my head toward her phone. “Show me a guy.”

“I don’t care about that right now.” She rolled her hips to get more friction on her clit, and I gave her what she wanted, pressing my thumb against the swollen bundle now. I saw how her nipples puckered under her shirt, and she bit her lip probably to stop from begging for more.

“I do.” I cared that she was looking elsewhere when I only wanted her to look to me for everything. I pulled my hand away and lifted an eyebrow. “If you want to come, you’re going to be a good girl and listen. Can you?”

She narrowed those pretty eyes at me before she swore under her breath. “Fine.” She pressed a few buttons on her phone and turned it toward me as I slid a finger into her and rolled my thumb over her clit to the left. “Left.”

“Jesus,” she murmured as her thumb swiped across the screen. I kept my rolling motion on her clit as she showed me more.

“Left, Olive. Left again. Left,” I repeated as her hips rode my hand, her arousal now dripping down it. “Please tell me we’re going to get something better than this.”

“Some of them are nice,” she said breathlessly. I hummed and leaned down to suck her clit into my mouth. My tongue pressed into that sensitive spot, and I got to taste how sweet she was.

All for me.

“You don’t want nice, Olive. You want this. Me making you come and telling you none of those guys can take care of your pussy like this. You know that.”

“I do,” she whimpered. “Please. Please.”

Her hips moved faster now. I knew what she wanted, but I needed to make her work for it, show her how it felt to have me every time. Not only once or twice. Because we weren’t just friends indulging. I was involved. I was obsessed. She’d become the investment I wouldn’t walk away from, not this town. “That’s it. So sweet that you’ll beg me to give you that orgasm. Show me another match.”

“Dimitri.” She whined my name now, but she held up another.

“No picture with him.”

“I don’t know.” She was past caring.

“Well, maybe he’s the one. You matched with him otherwise.” I slowed the pace at which I was pumping into her sex, but I slid two fingers in now. “Tell me about him.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t know.” Her legs shook, and her clit glistened with the movement. I wanted her in my mouth again, but I had to make it clear.

“What’s so good about him?”

“He’s tall. He’s got the same interests. He’s my age. I don’t know why the app likes him.”

I hummed. “Swipe right then. Let’s see.”

She swiped right fast and then threw her phone down and screamed as I pinched her clit hard. “You think he’s going to make you feel this?” If she had answered yes, I probably would have brought her to the brink all night.

I slid another finger in, and her hips bore down as her hands went into her curls and she arched her back. Damn. She was beautiful when she came undone.

“It’s so good, Dimitri.” Her breath caught on my name, and I tried to catalog the sound of it. “So, so, so good.”

“I should be doing this to you every single night I feel you against me. When you tuck in so close to me. You want it, don’t you?” I wanted her to admit it. Because every morning I felt her jump away from me out of bed and then I had to lay there and will myself not to go after her.

“I want you, yes.”

“Only me.” I curled my fingers in her so I could pump the spot I knew was most sensitive, and her whole body tensed as she gasped and moaned my name. “You see, Olive, it’s only me who can make you come like this.”

“Yes, only you,” she chanted it like she believed it. “Jesus—”

“No, baby. Me. Not a man on an app and not Jesus. I’m your almighty now. You praise me.”

She whimpered as I tapped her G-spot over and over, and she milked out the last of her orgasm. I watched how her tits bounced with her movements, how her plump lips formed an O, how her eyes locked on mine as I held hers. She was at my mercy, and I was officially fully invested.

I was going to do most everything in my power to keep her. Yet, if I fucked her senseless while she looked at other guys on dating apps, I had a feeling things would get murky.

It was the first time in my life I was nervous about the risk I was taking, the first time I wasn’t sure I wasn’t going to enjoy the dance.

She needed to feel as obsessed as I did. She had to want this too. I had to make her understand that being just my damn friend wasn’t enough.

The question was whether or not she would think so. Olive had the ability to break my heart and destroy me now. It would be her choice in the end even though I wasn’t sure I wanted to let her choose.