Chapter 18

I stare at the large parchment on the wooden table before me and sigh. Jagged trees drawn in black ink surround the expanse of land that stands between our encampment and the Bulgins while hand-carved figurines shaped into archers and cavalry seem to mock me. They have been picked up and placed repetitively for the past two hours in an attempt to figure out the best tactic for battle, but every time an idea is suggested, it's countered by another "what if?"

Glancing to where the Bulgins have been marked on the opposite side of the map, I note for what feels like the hundredth time at the expected size of their army. "I've had enough for tonight," I say, looking up at the faces seated around the table. Among them is Rory, Warren, and Morgan along with the other leaders of each battalion.

Rory offers a nod. "Aye. We still have some time to smooth out the details but I think we gave a solid base for a plan."

"War waits for no one," Morgan interjects before giving his scar a scratch. "They could attack tomorrow and we'd be caught with our pricks in our hands pissing in the wind."

Exhaling slowly, I lean back in the wooden chair, earning a creak. "You aren't wrong my friend. But truthfully we've had a long journey and our minds need to rest for a day before trying dealing with such an important task. Is that okay with you all?" I ask, looking around. I have the final say of course but I would be more comfortable if the others agreed. They each give me a nod though Morgan's is delayed.

"Alright then, let's have dinner and tomorrow afternoon we'll convene," I say.

"Thank the gods, I'm starving," a man named Durza says as he stands up. He leads my archers and is middle aged with long blond hair he keeps in a lose braid.

The mention of a ethereal beings leads my thoughts to Claire and I wonder how she has been doing. Excited to see her, I stand up and duck out of the large tent and look in the direction of laughter. Dinner seems to have already been served and most of the encampment are seated throughout the area—some at the large wooden tables that were hastily built, others lounge around camp fires. Scanning the tables, I see that she sits with Sven, Beth Ann, Max, and Darla. She slowly scoops the contents of her bowl into her mouth and listens to whatever tale Max currently spouts. Noting that she has changed into a fresh dress and pulled her long auburn hair into a lose bun she looks especially beautiful.

"Come," Rory says, clapping me on the back. Together we make our way to the large kettle that hands over a fire.

James—a young man with short ashen hair and brown eyes—greets us with a grin and stirs the kettles contents. "Welcome back," he says with a grin.

"I see you must have never found that tooth, huh?" I tease, noting the dark space where one of his front teeth should be. On the night of our departure back to Paevia, James and another solider got into a fight over a card game when he was accused of cheating. He was—everybody knows it—but it was all good fun. One too many ales resulted in James getting a tooth knocked out in the process and I left with the two of them searching for it with a torch.

James laughs and shakes his head, reaching for a bowl. "No we didn't but it's okay," he answers, dipping the bowl into the concoction and handing it too me. Steam rises from the thick red liquid and I inhale deeply. Tomato soup—my favorite. He then hands me a slice of seasoned bread and shrugs. "No meat tonight, sorry. If I would have known you all were arriving today I would have made sure of it. Tomorrow though."

Taking a quick sip of the soup I wave him off. "Don't worry about it. It's delicious as always James, thank you." He offers me half smile and nods his head before fixing Rory a bowl before we make our way to Claire and Beth Ann. When she sees Rory through the small crowd her face lights up and she runs too him, snaking her arms around his torso. He chuckles and with his free hand he pulls her in.

I glance at Claire and raise a dark brow and she stifles a laugh.

"I've missed you," she says, looking up at him before guiding him to the empty seat next to her. She then begins filling him on her evening and I sit my bowl across from Claire.

"Can I sit here or are you saving it for someone else?" I tease, checking over my shoulders for her would-be suitor.

She motions to the bench with a hand and takes a sip from her spoon. "It's all yours," she tells me before adding, "It's nice to see you."

Flashing a grin, I grab my bread and tear a chunk off before dipping it into my soup, letting it soak. "I'll try not to let that go to my head," I say as Max hands me a tankard of mead.

"Which one?" he says in a low whisper in my ear and I frown before elbowing him hard in the ribs.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" I ask pointedly.  Darla giggles.

He shakes his head slowly looks at Sven. "No not that I can remember. Why?" he asks harmlessly.

Sven smirks and grabs Max by the collar of his shirt, pulling him up. "Come," he says, collecting their empty bowls and tankards. "Let's see what Gale is up to."

"Probably brooding alone by a fire. Doesn't seem like much fun to me," Max says as he follows obediently behind Sven.

Darla watches them walk away before turning back to us. "He's funny." She stuffs the last portion of her bread into her mouth and stands up, collecting her bowl as well. "I think I'm going to check on the others and make sure everyone is settled in," she says, looking back and forth between Claire and Beth Ann. Offering a wave, she heads towards the women's tents leaving just the four of us.

Beth Ann immediately resumes her conversation with Rory and I turn to Claire who is eying the bread that still sits in my soup. "That's going to be soggy," she states.

Nodding, I pluck it out with my thumb and finger and pop it into my mouth. "That's how I like it," I say with a shrug. "How do you like the place so far?" I ask, glancing over a few tables where an arm wrestling competition is taking place.

Claire lets out a quick exhale and takes another bite of her soup. "The food is good. As for the company..." she trails, following my gaze. "I guess it's what I expected."

Looking at her, I dip another chunk of bread. "And what would that be?"

She sighs and gives a shrug before her eyes drift to mine briefly. "I believe I'll be quite lonely here. I also feel as if our presence is unwanted. We've only been here a few hours and I can't help but feel like we're a burden and just in the way of things. A war camp is no place for a woman I suppose."

Taking a bite of my soup I can't help but to frown slightly. "I can't speak for every man but if it makes you feel any better I personally want you here. It might just take a few days to adjust for them to get used to women here that they can't...." I trail, searching for the least disrespectful word to say, "Take to bed." I almost mention to her about the traveling courtesans that make their rounds back and forth between us and the Bulgins as their town is only a day's ride away but I don't. Perhaps some things are best left unsaid.  "You'll be accepted soon, just as we did," I say, offering a smile.

She frowns and sips the last bit of her soup up before scooting her bowl away from her. "Only time will tell."

Taking a swig of my ale, I take another bite of my dinner. "So how come Rory gets such an extravagant greeting and not me—the most handsome?" I tease, changing the subject.

Claire's pale face flushes a shade of red and she glances over at Beth Ann and Rory who have paused their conversation at the mention of his name.

"You know, now that I think of it I preferred it when you were gone," she mutters while hiding her smirk.

Rory and Beth Ann laugh and I feign hurt, grabbing my chest above my heart. "And I thought you Christians were supposed to be a kind lot." They rejoin in their conversation and I lean forward, taking another long drag of ale. Lowering my voice to a volume only she can hear, I whisper, "Anytime you want to leap into my arms don't be shy."

Her face reddens once again and she rolls her blue eyes. "Noted."

Taking my bowl I drink the last of my soup before standing up and collecting Claire's. I'm going to drop these off to be washed and take a walk. I'd like it if you joined me," I say.

She looks around the tables, eying the men gambling and then towards the group of nuns who whisper lively amongst themselves. "I suppose it beats sitting here by myself," she replies and I can't tell if she is joking or being serious.

"Well come on then," I say, tilting my head for her to follow me. We make our way to the large wash bin and I hand it to a man named Otis. He has a dark complexion similar to Darla's and is one of the most muscular of the soldiers.

Offering me a respectful nod, he takes our dishes and tosses them in the soapy water with the rest. I then lead Claire in around the entire encampment. Some people I introduce her to, others I share with her some of their impressive feats in battle. When we get to the far end I refill my tankard at a wine barrel and we begin our loop back around in a comfortable silence. Coming across a camp fire that has been abandoned, I sit down on one of the deer skins on the ground and pat the empty space next to me.

She sits down, crossing her legs revealing her pale thighs momentarily before adjusting her dress looking ashamed. "You don't have to feel embarrassed around me Claire. Especially because I saw some skin," I say lightly.

She shrugs, "It's improper."

Chuckling, I take another sip of wine and enjoy the heat it has brought to my body. Leaning back, I prop myself up on one are and study the dancing orange flames wondering what silent tune they listen to. The air is slightly cool and I shut my eyes, feeling like I can finally rest for the first time in weeks.

We sit in comfortable silence as I finish my wine and leave briefly to grab another. When I rejoin her, I notice that she has changed her position and now leans back on her hands as well while leaving her ankles crossed.

"I'd ask if you want one, but," I say, knowing that she would have refused a tankard.

Wagging her eyebrows, I offers a smirk. "Can I ask you a question? And you be honest with me?" she asks, turning to me as I plop down beside her—perhaps a few inches too close. I scoot backwards slightly allowing us room and once again prop myself up on one elbow.

"Okay," I agree with a nod.

"You said earlier that it would take a few days for some of the men to get used to women being here that they couldn't bed. Does that mean that there are other women here that they can?" she asks, stealing a glance at me.

Ah. "You caught that huh?" I rhetorically ask before giving my head a shake. "I wasn't sure how much information to tell you when it came to that. I suppose I didn't want you to view us in a negative light," I explain. "But to answer your question: sometimes there are women here, yes."

She gives a slow nod of understanding. "Sometimes?"

Taking a long drag from my tankard, I glance to the east to where I know the town of Umba to be.  "There's a town called Umba about a days ride east," I begin to explain and return my gaze to her. "During wartime, if any towns or cities are close enough by, usually the courtesans will travel to make extra coin to the camps. Given how large and wealthy our armies are, I'd say they've made a large amount between us and the Bulgins."

"Hmm," she hums, thinking of my words. "Do their husbands not care?" she asks me.

Shrugging, I empty my wine and realize that I'm a little more than tipsy. "I suppose not. With what they make, they could probably have enough to by a small farm at the very least."

"And what of your wives," she asks, holding my eye. "The women you leave back home and return to when this is over. Do you tell them?"

Again, I raise a shoulder and shake my head. "Some of them do, others don't. Usually the women don't ask and are just happy to not be handed a lock of their hair from one of us," I say. After our wars are over, we do our best to collect a lock of hair from the fallen and offer it to the families—it's not much but it's all that we can do seeing as that we cannot travel weeks on end with corpses tied to our horse's backs.  "Most regret it when they are home in their woman's arms, even if they don't admit it." I add.

A few moments of silence pass by again before she looks over at me. "What about you? Do you ever take a courtesan to your tent?"

Pursing my lips, I break her gaze and look into the fire. "I have before, yes. Many times. It makes the nights not so lonely and after weeks or months without that warmth it can drive a man crazy. I can't speak for all of course, but when you can be a day away from death we try to take what little pleasures the world can still offer us."

"Will you do it when they return here?" she inquires, shifting uncomfortably. "I'm sorry for being so forward. It's just that, well..." she trails, struggling to find words.

Turning towards her, I look into her deep blue eyes and find what she cannot admit. "You'd mind?"

Biting her bottom lip, she gives me a nod. "I know I shouldn't, especially being a woman of the cloth, but I do. I've grown to care for you. I wanted to tell you last night but decided against it. But the thought of you being with anyone...in any way...well, I don't like it. Over time I've realized it's jealously."

"Why is that?" I ask, hiding the ghost of a smile that threatens to form on my lips.

Sighing, she shakes her head and looks down at her lap. "Because it wouldn't bring any good and would make our goodbye even more difficult. But I suppose in this moment I don't care," she admits, her eyes finding mine once again. I want to tell her that she doesn't have to say goodbye if she doesn't want to, but the elation I feel of hearing her confession supersedes that.

It may be the wine or it may be because of just how beautiful she looks in the fire light, or a multitude of other reasons that I'm sure to be true as well that pushes me to do this. Smiling, I push myself up with one hand and with the other I gently tuck it under Claire's jaw, letting my fingers find their place in her rosy mane. She inhales sharply but doesn't pull back.

Looking down at mouth I trail back up to her azure eyes. "I've wanted to do this for a long time," I whisper and lean forward, placing my lips onto hers.

A/N: Apologies for it being 1.) shorter than normal and 2.) taking forever to update. I've been busy and went on vacation/to a music festival

Hope you enjoyed 🖤