accident seventeen: insecurities

Song for this chapter:

Sleep by night off.

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Taehyung turned in bed for the hundredth time that night, his thoughts eating away at him.

"Tae." Yoongi groaned from beside Taehyung, being a light sleeper, and Taehyung's current cuddle buddy.

Ever since Jimin and Jungkook got closer, Taehyung and Yoongi became closer too. The day Jimin told Taehyung and Yoongi that he wouldn't talk to them about Jungkook anymore, Yoongi noticed how the decision made Taehyung sad, although Jimin didn't notice, Yoongi did, considering he was quite the observer.

At first Taehyung was reluctant to vent to Yoongi, it felt weird to talk about his soul mate with someone else, because it was always him talking to Jimin about anyone or anything, never the other way around.

But it happened.

Taehyung told Yoongi everything that had happened. He told him about the times he was there for Jimin when he cried, and had one of his break downs, being the one to pick up the pieces, and mend them back together, so that no one would notice.

So it was weird now that Jimin would suddenly stop venting to his best friend. It made Taehyung's insecurities come out to play.

Did Jimin not need him anymore?

It definitely looked like it.

He also told Yoongi how he couldn't sleep without someone holding him, and that from time to time he would cuddle with Jimin to sleep, but Jimin was cuddling with someone else now.

Taehyung was happy for Jimin though. It was the first time in years that he saw him this happy, and he noticed how Jungkook looked at Jimin now. That boy was far gone for Taehyung's soul mate, and that lessened Taehyung's worries.

Yoongi had noticed how Taehyung looked more sad everyday that passed without Jimin talking to him like before, or taking the time to sit down and ask him how he's doing.

He couldn't blame Jimin though. He understood where he was coming from. The love of his life was now his, and both of them were in the honeymoon phase, add that to what happened to Jungkook a few days ago, Jimin must be stressed out. Sure Jungkook got better, but it looked like Jimin was traumatized; he didn't leave Jungkook's side for too long, -not that the younger minded- and it wasn't healthy.

Yoongi couldn't do anything to help Taehyung, except offer cuddling him at night.

You can't blame him. Everyone is weak for Taehyung.

Taehyung turned in bed one last time, and laid on his back. "I'm sorry, hyung, but I don't think I'm gonna fall asleep anytime soon." The younger whispered into the night.

Yoongi sighed, he couldn't go to sleep and leave the poor boy like that. "I think you should talk to Jimin. It's not good for you to bottle things up like that." He advised, turning to lay on his side with his head resting on his hand, facing Taehyung.

Taehyung turned his head so he was looking at Yoongi. "No. He has enough on his plate already. I don't wanna stress him out even more." He said with a pout.

"Taehyung-ah, if you don't talk to him soon, I'm afraid you're gonna blow up, and no, you won't be stressing him out, quite the opposite actually; I think he needs to focus on something other than Jungkook, and his injury." Yoongi explained, pulling the covers more tightly around himself.

"I'll see." Taehyung sighed. "Go to sleep hyung, we've got work in the morning."

"Come here then. We're both sleeping. I'm not letting you stay up sulking until the crack of dawn." Yoongi pushed at Taehyung's shoulder so he would turn on his side.

Taehyung laughed, turning so he had his back to Yoongi, who slung his leg over Taehyung's waist, and buried his face in the younger's back.

Taehyung infected Yoongi. The older admitted he liked cuddling now.

So, sue him.

No, don't actually sue him.

"Jungkook-ah, you okay?" Jimin asked, sitting down in the chair beside Jungkook.

Jungkook nodded. "Yeah, hyung, don't worry." He assured, but Jimin was still giving him a concerned look.

"Why don't you turn the chair?" Jimin motioned for Jungkook to turn the chair around, so the back rest was in the front instead.

Taehyung rolled his eyes.

It's already been a week since that rope snapped against Jungkook's back, and the maknae was fine by now. They had all looked at Jungkook's back two days ago, when Jungkook was trying to convince them that he was okay, and he could go back to work now.

Jimin was the only one not having it.

Jungkook knew he had to sit down and have a talk with Jimin. The stress wasn't good for the him.

Not wanting to upset Jimin though, Jungkook got up and turned the chair around, and sat down again, and Jimin patted Jungkook's head gently.

Taehyung almost scoffed.

Everything was pilling up in Taehyung's brain.

He couldn't stop thinking about how Jimin still hadn't told him he's with Jungkook now, and it was too obvious to not say anything.

The members stopped their meetings too. After they came to the conclusion that the two got together, they decided to wait for them to come out in their own time, not wanting to pressure them, but giving them hints at the same time; that they would support them.

But Taehyung's case was different. Jimin would surely tell him first.

He was special. Their friendship was special. They were soul mates.

Were they?

Yoongi wasn't the only one to notice this.

"Alright, now we're gonna split you into teams. Taehyung, who do you want to team up with?" Jin instructed, being the MC of this run bts episode, and turning to Taehyung.

"Jiminie. I wanna be teamed up with him." Taehyung innocently said, taking the chance to spend some time with his soul mate.

Jin hummed. "Well, it doesn't matter who you want to team up with. It's all about destiny." He teased, making the members laugh. "Okay, we're gonna play some music, and once the music stops, you have to hug someone, and that someone will be your partner." He continued to explain, reading from the cards.

Taehyung had planned to hug Jimin as soon as the music would end.

But he wasn't fast enough.

It looked like he wasn't the only one who had planned to pair up with Jimin.

Not wanting to hurt his own pride any further, Taehyung jumped to hug Yoongi, who noticed the whole thing.

"Woah! What happened to the soul mates?" Jin observed, making the members laugh once again, only Taehyung and Yoongi's laughs were forced.

Everything was pilling up.

Taehyung's fear was spot on.

It was exactly two weeks after Jimin and Jungkook got together, and ten days after Jungkook's accident, when they decided to tell the members.

They had agreed on doing it the night before, deciding to do it at breakfast.

The five members were already sitting at the kitchen table, eating the food Namjoon made, when Jimin and Jungkook walked into the kitchen, holding hands.

"Guys." Jungkook started.

"We have something to tell you." Jimin giggled, feeling silly that he was stating the obvious now.

"Finally." Jin yelled, followed by the members' woohoos.

The leader put his hand up to silence the members. "We're happy for you guys. Just don't act all lovey dovey in front of us; we're all single you know." Namjoon warned, and Hoseok nodded beside him. "And we need to have a talk. You both know that right?" The couple gulped and nodded, quickly moving to sit down in the two empty seats.

They didn't have to hide now, everything was out in the open. Jungkook wrapped his arm around Jimin's shoulder, pulling him close. Jimin turned to look at Jungkook giving him an eye crescent smile.

Jungkook leaned his head down to whisper in Jimin's ear. "Jimin-ssi, did I tell you that your smile is my weakness?" He leaned back again to look at the older's reaction, to find his blushing face.

"I actually can't remember. You have to remind me every once in a while, mister Jeon." Jimin sassed in a quiet voice, despite feeling shy.

Jungkook raised his eyebrows. "I don't have a problem with that. I enjoy seeing your red face quite a lot." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Jimin giggled shyly, adjusting the way he was sitting and leaning on Jungkook, letting out a contented sigh.

Jimin didn't notice Taehyung leaving the kitchen, having been done with breakfast, and with watching his best friend flirt with his new boyfriend too.

But Yoongi did, going after him after a couple of minutes, to not raise any eyebrows.

Everything kept pilling up, until there was no space left.

Taehyung and Jimin talked less and less everyday.

Taehyung never thought Jimin would be one of those people who forgot their friends when they got into a relationship.

As much as Taehyung didn't want to cause drama, and act on his assumptions, it was exactly what he did.

What turned his sadness into anger though, was the way Jimin didn't even notice Taehyung ignoring him.

Yoongi was just thinking about locking the two up in a room, but things had already went out of hand.

It was only them three at home; Yoongi, Taehyung, and Jimin, and considering how Jungkook wasn't there, Jimin now finally noticed Taehyung's existence.

Jimin was in the kitchen, sitting at the kitchen table, eating ramen and scrolling through his phone, when Taehyung walked into the kitchen.

The younger paused. Maybe he should wait until Jimin went back to his room.

No. He won't even notice I'm here.

Being fuelled with anger once again, Taehyung went to the fridge, looking for something to snack on, not caring if Jimin noticed him or not.

Jimin looked up from his phone. "Oh! Taehyungie." Jimin greeted Taehyung with a smile.

Something snapped inside Taehyung at that moment. "Oh, so now you finally notice I exist! Wow." He blurted in anger.

Jimin was taken aback. "What's that supposed to mean?" He frowned, his ramen long forgotten now.

Taehyung slammed the fridge closed, and turned to Jimin. "Oh, I don't know! Maybe I'm talking about the fact that we haven't said a word to each other in five days, despite living together!" He bellowed out in anger.

Jimin was speechless, feeling guilt creeping up on him. "I- I didn't-" he tried to say, but found nothing to say in his own defense.

Taehyung scoffed. "Great! You didn't even notice!" He moved to leave the kitchen. "Of course you wouldn't. Too occupied with your little Kookie." He muttered, just loud enough for Jimin to hear him, and walked out of the kitchen.

"Hey! Come back here! What did you just say?!" Jimin got up and walked after Taehyung to the living room, where Yoongi was laying on the couch.

"You. Heard. Me." Taehyung said, emphasizing every word.

Jimin was bewildered, and angry too. His Jungkook was a red line for him. "He hurt his back! I had to take care of him!" He let out the only thing that came to his mind.

Taehyung's eyes widened in disbelief. "That was two weeks ago! Are you for real right now? And what about before that, huh? I really can't believe you would lose your best friend to your boyfriend that easily." His voice got quiet at the end, being done with this conversation. It was taking them no where.

Jimin was furious now, how dare he bring Jungkook into this. "Are you jealous or something that I got into a relationship and you still haven't?" Jimin said, voice laced with venom.

Taehyung laughed in disbelief, his face forming a scowl after. "Really? You're stooping this low? That's sad! That's really fucking sad, Jimin-ssi." He let out in a revolted tone.

The older's eyes glinted angrily. "I can't find another reason. So it has to be it! I mean, aren't you happy for me? Of course you're not! You're too jealous to be happy for me!" He said, shrugging his shoulders.

Taehyung was done now, he couldn't believe what was happening to them right now. He sighed. "Don't talk to me until you do then, soul mate." He said quietly, with a frown on his face. He felt like crying at this point.

"What's going on here?" Jungkook asked, walking into the dorm, and looking at Jimin and Taehyung standing in the middle of the living room, Yoongi sitting on the couch watching them silently.

Taehyung scoffed once again, muttering a "Nothing." and moving past Jimin and Jungkook to leave the dorm. He was suffocating.

Yoongi automatically went after Taehyung, grabbing two coats, and running after the younger. "Taehyung! Wait!"

Jimin was just standing there, frozen. The words he said just now coming back to him and ringing in his ears. He covered his mouth, maybe then he could take the words he said back.

When he fully realised what he had done, his throat got clogged up with tears, and he wasn't able to breathe.

Still not knowing what went down, Jungkook just stood there, not knowing what to do. "Jimin?" The older turned around at Jungkook's voice, his tears rolling down his cheeks, making Jungkook gasp. "Hey. What's wrong, baby?" Jungkook pulled Jimin to his chest, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

Jimin took a deep breath. "I screwed up, Jungkook-ah. I screwed up so bad. Taehyung hates me now." He said, still crying his heart out. He couldn't believe what he had done to his soul mate. He knew how sensitive Taehyung was, so how could he do that to him?

Jungkook rubbed Jimin's back. "Okay, just calm down, baby. We'll figure it out together okay? Please calm down." Jungkook assured, tucking Jimin's head under his chin.

When Jimin had calmed down a little, Jungkook dragged him to their room, and left the room to get him some water.

When Jungkook walked into the room again, he found Jimin sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into space. Jungkook sighed, reaching for Jimin's hand and putting the water bottle in it.

Jimin snapped out of his daze, looking up at Jungkook and then at the bottle in his hand. "Thanks." He said quietly, voice raspy from all the crying and shouting.

Jungkook went to sit next to Jimin. "Can you tell me what happened now?" He asked, leaning his head to look down at Jimin.

Jimin sighed. "What happened, is that I'm an awful friend." He whispered, his throat clogging up again, so he took another sip of water. "Ever since I stopped telling Taehyung what was happening with you and I, I stopped talking to him as often without noticing." He let out dry sobs. "I broke my best friend's heart without noticing." He concluded, looking up at Jungkook, as if the younger would somehow know the answer to all of this.

Jungkook's heart broke at Jimin's tone. "Oh, baby. I'm sorry." He said, pulling Jimin to sit on his lap, and wrapping his arms around him.

Jimin buried his head in Jungkook's chest, wanting to disappear off the face of the earth. He hated himself at that moment. "I'm an awful friend. I'm an awful friend." He kept muttering, his body shaking.

Jungkook tightened his arms around him, as if that was even possible, and kissed his head. "We're gonna fix it. I'm gonna fix it. Don't worry."

Taehyung had taken the elevator, so Yoongi ran down the stairs, catching Taehyung just before he left the building lobby. "Hey!" He panted, pulling Taehyung's arm.

Taehyung turned around, his eyes red. And found Yoongi offering him a coat.

"If you're gonna storm off, take a coat with you. It would look cooler this way." Yoongi remarked.

Taehyung chuckled quietly, despite his crying session in the elevator a few seconds ago. He took the coat from Yoongi. "Thanks, hyung. You can go back now. I'm gonna head out." Taehyung turned around to walk out of the building, when he was pulled by the arm again.

"You mean we're gonna head out." He raised his eyebrows, waiting for the younger to object. When he didn't, Yoongi continued. "Okay, where are we heading off to then?" He went to walk in front of Taehyung, taking the lead.

"I honestly don't know where I was going." Taehyung admitted quietly, looking down.

Yoongi gave him a gummy smile. "I think I know where we should go."

A few minutes later, they found themselves on Hannam bridge, overlooking the Han river.

Yoongi turned to Taehyung. "You can cry here. No one would notice if you look towards the river." He said, bumping his shoulder into Taehyung's gently.

Taehyung chuckled. "If you seriously think that I'm gonna cry-" Yoongi gave him a look. "then you are absolutely right." Yoongi laughed.

"You know," Yoongi started, looking away. "he didn't mean the things he said right?" He pointed out.

Taehyung teared up once he remembered what Jimin had said. "But what if he did?" He turned to Yoongi. "Jimin hyung doesn't care about me as much now. We haven't talked in so long, I think he just forgot our friendship." Taehyung wasn't even trying to hide the fact that he was crying now, and he didn't bother with wiping his own tears away, his hands too warm in his coat pockets.

Yoongi pulled at his coat sleeve, moving to wipe Taehyung's tears away. "Taehyung-ah, I think I'm gonna cry with you. You look too cute when you cry." Yoongi whined, pulling away when he finished wiping Taehyung's tears.

The younger laughed, his face was puffy, nose red, but he was laughing. "Yoongi hyung!" He continued to laugh. "Are you flirting with me?" He teased.

Yoongi shifted his feet awkwardly. "Shut up, kid." He grumbled. "I'm serious though. Maybe there's something going on with Jimin, I know you two haven't talked in so long, and that's exactly why you can't jump to conclusions yet. He could be going through something alone, because that's what he said he would do. Sometimes human beings can be that stubborn." Yoongi advised, rubbing his hands to keep them warm.

Taehyung stared at the water, thinking over his hyung's words, and then he nodded. "Yeah, you could be right hyung." He nodded again in a way to reassure himself.

"Still doesn't justify the things he said though, or the things you said and the way you talked to him. I know you're angry and upset with him, and you fully have the right to, but don't forget he's still your hyung though." Yoongi pointed out, he wasn't one for sugar coating realities.

Taehyung nodded, knowing how Yoongi was right. Jimin might have said some things that hurt him, but Taehyung had done the exact same thing.

"Coming here was a stupid idea, we're gonna catch a cold." Yoongi shivered, pulling his coat tightly around himself. Taehyung laughed again, making Yoongi smile, glad he could make him laugh after crying his heart out. "C'mon." Yoongi wrapped his arm around Taehyung's shoulder. "Let's get some ice cream." Taehyung laughed even harder.

And both boys walked to Yoongi's favorite café.

Jimin was still panicking. It was nearing midnight by now, and Taehyung still hadn't come back.

"Jimin-ssi, stop worrying. He's with Yoongi hyung." Jungkook rubbed Jimin's back, trying to calm him down, but he just wouldn't.

Jimin turned to Jungkook with a panicky look in his eyes. "Maybe I should call him. I should apologize right? Where's my phone?" He turned to look for his phone not finding it anywhere, forgetting he had left it in the kitchen.

Jungkook held Jimin's shoulders. "Hey! Look at me." When he had Jimin's attention, Jungkook pulled his own phone from his pocket putting it in front of Jimin's face.

"I'm gonna use your phone to call him because he won't answer if it's me?" Jimin quickly said.

Jungkook just shook his head. "No. I'm gonna text Yoongi hyung. We have to give Tae hyung his freedom, if he wants to storm out, then we're gonna give it to him, we're just gonna make sure he's alright okay?" Jungkook slowly explained, looking at Jimin in the eyes to make sure he understood.

Jimin nodded frantically. "Okay. Okay." He said, taking a deep breath to calm himself down.

Kook: hyung, are you with Taehyung hyung?

Sent 11:48 PM

Suga hyung: yeah, he's with me.

Sent 11:50 PM

Kook: okay, thank you, hyung. Jimin hyung is just worried.

Sent 11:50 PM

Suga hyung: tell him not to worry. I cheered him up.

Sent 11:51 PM

Suga hyung: I gotta go, but show him this.

Sent 11:52 PM

Suga hyung: gtg we're heading home now.

Sent 11:52 PM

Kook: okay. thank you, hyung.

Sent 11:53 PM

Jungkook turned the phone around to show Jimin. "See? He's okay. And they're heading home now." Jimin leaned forward to read their texts, looking at the picture after.

As much as Jimin felt relieved that someone was there for Taehyung, he couldn't help but tear up again. "But he looks like he's been crying, Jungkook-ah!" Jimin pointed out, pointing at Jungkook's phone with his finger and crying again.

Jungkook quickly locked his phone. "No, he doesn't look like he's been crying Jimin-ssi. It's just the lightening." Jungkook tried to reason, even though it made more sense that Taehyung had cried.

Now he had to calm Jimin down again.

When Taehyung and Yoongi finally walked through the door, they found Jungkook waiting on the living room couch.

He had calmed Jimin down by some miracle, and the mochi went to sleep, tired from all the crying.

Jungkook got up and went to Taehyung. "Hey." He said softly not sure how to approach him.

Was he mad at me too? I mean, I kinda stole his best friend.

Taehyung interrupted his thoughts. "I'm not mad at you Jungkook, I'm just tired." He sighed.

Jungkook let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god. Um- can I suggest something hyung?" He rubbed at his neck nervously.

"Yeah what's up?" Taehyung asked.

"Well, I talked to Jimin hyung when you both left. He was a crying mess, but he kept talking about you, and your friendship, so I think it would be a good idea if you slept with him in his room tonight?" Jungkook suggested, still feeling nervous.

Yoongi raised his eyebrows in awe. "Jungkook-ah, I respect you." He patted Jungkook on the shoulder twice, and turned to Taehyung, giving him a silent nod.

Taehyung hesitated. "I don't think it's a good idea. If he wakes up and finds me. I'm afraid he's gonna kick me out of the room." He mumbled, looking down.

Jungkook grabbed Taehyung's shoulders and shook them. "No. No. He might actually cry when he finds you beside him. Just trust me."

Taehyung turned to look at Yoongi, still unsure.

"Okay."

Jungkook was right.

After Taehyung had washed up, he got into bed beside a sleeping Jimin, wrapping his arms around him and falling asleep.

The older woke up when he felt someone's arms around him that weren't Jungkook's, so he sat up with a start, waking Taehyung up with him.

Jimin reached over to turn his night light on, glancing at the clock in the process and finding it just a little past two in the morning. When he turned around again, his mouth fell open in shock.

"Tae!" Jimin cried out, jumping on Taehyung and wrapping his arms around him, crying into his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said, I swear!"

Taehyung froze, not expecting Jungkook to be spot on.

These two were made for each other, huh?

Taehyung felt his walls crumbling, so he pulled Jimin closer, him too crying in his best friend's shoulder. "I'm sorry too, Jimin-ah."

When both of them stopped crying, Jimin was the one to pull away. "I'm sorry I've been a bad friend to you. I know nothing can justify the things I said but please forgive me. I can't lose our friendship." Jimin held Taehyung's hands wrapping them in his.

"I'm sorry too Jimin-ah. I just got sad that you didn't let me know first, and I felt our friendship slowly dying ever since you stopped venting to me." Taehyung explained. "I just missed you, Jiminie."

Jimin teared up again, and Taehyung reached to dry his cheeks. "I missed you too, Taetae." Jimin sniffled, not wanting to cry again. "I thought I could handle things on my own but I can't. It's the first time for me to get into a relationship and I have this fear of Jungkook waking up one day, and his feelings would just be gone and I'd go back to square one. I should have talked to you about it, but instead I made us drift apart without noticing. I'm sorry. From now on, I'll tell you everything. I don't care what happens anymore, but I can't lose you. You've been my back bone since we were kids." He explained sincerely.

Taehyung nodded, understanding now why Jimin was stressed out, not just from Jungkook's injury, but by being in a relationship for the first time too. "I'm sorry too about disrespecting you and Jungkook, I shouldn't have done that." Taehyung apologised again, pursing his lips and wiping his last few tears away.

"So we're okay now?" Jimin asked, just to be sure.

Taehyung nodded. "Yeah we're okay." He smiled, glad he had his best friend back again. He pulled Jimin so they would both lay down. "Now tell me more about that unreasonable fear of yours. Haven't you seen the way he looks at you? That boy needs some pancakes cause he's whipped!"