"I love you"

"I love you"

A promise.

To always be there, rain or shine.

To always be there, even at 3a.m. in the morning.

Words that offered you shelter.

Words that were supposed to give you peace.

So why is it that I only feel pain?

Turmoil, hurt, confusion, anger, sadness, betrayal.

Feelings that should never go with love.

Feelings that wouldn't go away.

"I love you" only brought me pain.

"I love you."

My mother had said, before she turned and left, leaving me behind in the shattered glass of her words.

If you loved me, why did you leave?

If you loved me, why did you turn your back on me, never looking behind once?

If you loved me, why did you forget about me, the one you claimed to have loved, but would never cross oceans for?

"I love you."

My father had said, as the belt wrapped around my arm, leaving my skin a searing red, with a ache that cut right to the bone.

If you loved me, why was all I ever felt from you rage, violence, and pain?

If you loved me, why did you become the thing I feared the most?

If you loved me, why were you not the one sheltering me from my demons, but my demons themselves?

"I love you"

My boyfriend had said, before he put his arm around another girl the next day, leaving me standing in the smoke and ashes of us.

If you loved me, why did you take my heart and give it away?

If you loved me, why would I wake up crying at 3 a.m., because the thought of you only brought pain?

If you loved me, why was it that it stung so much when I saw you in the hallways, the pain like a dagger to my heart, threatening to end my life?

"I love you"

A promise that could never be kept.

Broken

Again and again

Over and over

There's no love for me here anymore

Not in this world

Not in the next

Love

Simply does not exist