Chapter 5
How to Date an Asshole
Chapter 5
I took a deep breath then went down the kitchen counter and walked back to the living room. Axel followed me.
We both sat on the couch, side by side but looking straight ahead. I can't look at him now or I'll forget everything that's wrong with this and kiss him again.
I stood and paced back and forth across the living room. What was I thinking? Kissing him like that. I must be out of my mind. He had other girls' tongues shoved down his throat not more than 24 hours ago. God.
I was just taken by the moment, just a moment of weakness. That's it. Just a moment of weakness.
Great, I can't even convince myself.
"So..." he started and I stopped pacing.
I took one look at him and shook my head slightly. I can't take any of this anymore. I need answers. "How exactly did we meet?"
"Oh." he looked at me with eyes wide.
"Yeah," I said nodding my head to myself. "You must know that the last thing I remember of you last night was seeing you at Corrigan's."
His brows raised, "You saw me at Corrigan's?"
"Yeah, you were at the bar then you went to a booth to meet 3 girls and started making out with them."
He winced. "I know how that must look but, in my defense, it was just 2 girls."
I frowned at him, "That's not really helping your case but whatever. You don't have to explain anything to me about your lifestyle. I just want to know what happened last night."
He looked at the floor. Are my eyes deceiving me? Is Axel James really embarrassed?
I continued, "Because I really don't remember talking to you â heck, I don't even remember seeing you at Crosshair. And, for clarification, all events subsequent to that."
"Okay. Well..." he met my eyes then sighed. He scratched his right eyebrow, "I'm not proud of this, thinking about it now."
He continued, "You were by the bar and you were alone."
I nod as he tells the story.
"I thought you were pretty hot." he shook his head immediately, "Think." he corrected himself.
I cringed inwardly, "Yeah, not helping."
He shrugged, "I'm just being honest." he scratched the back of his head, "You know what, this is a pretty long story. How about we talk about this over coffee? I saw a pretty nice coffee shop down the block."
I scoffed at him, "Nice try, Axel. But I'm not going out with you. Continue with the story. Keep it short."
He held on his chest, as if in pain. I rolled my eyes at him. So dramatic.
"Alright, I gave it a shot. Anyway, you were at the bar, having tequila shots by yourself." he smiled to himself, "I was ordering something from the bar and you called me an asshole."
My eyes grew big at that statement. I called him an asshole. Huh, good to know I'm still my brilliant self even when I'm drunk. I'd high-five my past self if I could.
I continued listening to him, "Of course, I wasn't used to being called an asshole so I sat next to you and asked if you were referring to me. You said yes, obviously. And I was like 'Do you know who I am? I'm Axel James.' and you were all 'Yeah and that makes you a bigger asshole.' No one has ever called me out like that." he explained and suddenly I remember parts of it.
"Oh my God, I'm remembering parts of it," I said in astonishment.
"Really? That's great."
I held my right forefinger in front of his face and shushed him. "I'm trying to remember," I said then went on concentrating. My head still hurts but with this newfound information, my memories are starting to become a little less hazy by the minute.
//
"Barkeep! 5 Pina Coladas. C'mon now, what's taking you so long?"
"Asshole."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me right, asshole."
"Do you know who I am? I'm Axel James."
"Yeah and that makes you a bigger asshole."
"What's your problem?"
"What's my problem? What's your problem! You're ordering drinks that take too long to make. Not even a minute passed and you're already complaining. And what are you, at the beach? Pina Coladas!"
"Well, I want it and I don't care. He should be more efficient at his job."
"You're a certified asshole. I bet you can't go a day living your easy life without pulling the I'm-Axel-James card."
"Oh, so you want a bet? I bet with a couple more drinks, you'd be hammered enough to forget you hate me and go home with me. You want to play on it?"
"What? No. That's ridiculous."
"Is it really or are you just afraid you'll lose to Axel James?"
"Ha. Don't you think it's funnier that The Axel James loses to a nobody?"
"Oh, c'mon now, nobody's ever a nobody. What's your name?"
"Lauren. Lauren Grant."
"Okay, Ms. Grant. I'll show you I can still do things I can do as 'Axel James' in 1 whole day in incognito. That is if you win."
"Oh, I will."
"Not so fast. If I win, you'll go home with me."
"Oh, no. I'll never sleep with you."
"Who said there'll be sleeping involved?"
"You're disgusting."
"You can't handle the bet."
"Oh, I can."
"Yeah, well, how about we play on it over that beer pong over there?"
//
I shook my head in disbelief, "I remember it now." I said then looked at Axel.
"That's great!" Axel said as he stood from the couch. He smiles at me.
I sat on the couch across him. I held both my hands to my face. "Oh my God, I'm so stupid," I muttered to myself.
"So, you remember the bet?" he said, hopeful.
I removed my hands from my face to look at him. "Yes," I said in distaste. "I won right?"
"Yeah, that's why I'm here." he nodded.
"Well, I'm calling it off. Consider your debt paid, I don't want to participate in any of it anymore. What happened last night is ridiculous."
He frowned, "But I always keep my end of the bargain..."
I dismissed him by a wave of my hand, "I condone you of your obligation. Your end of the bargain is now nothing. Zip. Nada."
"No, " he said, determined.
"Can't you just take the victory?" I stood to face him.
"Yeah, well that wouldn't be a victory because you aren't sleeping with me." he grins playfully.
"Excuse me?!" I said with my eyes wide.
"The bet?" he clarifies.
"You can't be real."
He caught my right hand then put my palm on his chest. "Oh, believe me, I'm real."
I shackled out of his grasp. "You're disgusting." I walked back, distancing myself from him. "You were hitting on me, you've bet to sleep with me when you already have three girls waiting for you."
His forehead creased, "I thought you weren't going to judge my lifestyle."
"Not when you plan to involve me!"
"C'mon, I was just teasing." he smiles then he tries to hug me.
"Not a step closer!" I said, warning him. "Or I'll punch you again."
He stepped back with his arms raised in surrender.
"How could I let myself make out with you?" I said but mostly to myself. "How did you even know where I live?"
"My manager got it for me," he said, lowering his gaze.
"You had me looked up?"
"Yeah. I told you, I'm a man of my word. I always keep my end of the bargain. I didn't know how and where to find you. All I know is your name so I sent it to him and he did a background-check for me." he said as if it's the most normal thing to do.
"A background-check?"
"Of course. I don't know if you're a stalker or something."
I scoffed at him. Unbelievable â that's what he is and not in a good way. "You really think you're the shit, huh?"
He shrugged, "I mean..."
"You really think you can have anything and anyone you want?" I said getting closer to him, he took a step back.
"Uh, I guess right now the answer is no?" he gulped.
"You guess?" I was slack-jawed for a moment. Truly unbelievable. I shook my head in dismay and anger, "Get out! Get out of my apartment, right now."
"But â"
"Do you want me to do more damage to your moneymaker?" I said raising my fist.
His eyes went wide then shook his head slowly.
"Then get the fuck out. I don't ever want to see you again."
He went out and I slammed the door to him.