𝟔𝟗

a/n: Char's outfit for the chapter is above!

Cute flashbacks ahead! Charlina, ahhh!!!

☆═━ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐘 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄━═☆

Charlotte ran a hand over her face, sighing. She didn't get much sleep last night, every time she closed her eyes, she could see Connor's face. For a few minutes there he really thought she would get him out...Charlotte shook her head, swinging her legs off the bed.

She looked above her at the wall clock, finding it to be still five in the morning. Charlotte got up and made her way to the kitchen after descending the stairs. She stood there for a few seconds, collecting her thoughts before putting the kettle on and turning to get her mug and make some coffee.

"Can't sleep?"

Charlotte's eyes widened, blinking before she turned around and there was no one. No that couldn't be Stefan or Damon playing tricks on her, not at five in the morning. The kettle beeped, making the brunette exhale sharply.

She poured the boiled water into her cup before putting the kettle back. Charlotte leaned over to get a spoon and gasped, seeing Connor leaning on the counter, "You know it makes sense; guilty conscience."

She shook her head at herself. That wasn't real, it couldn't be. It also helped that Connor waking up to taunt her wasn't the first time she could see someone she had killed trying to make her guilt worse.

Charlotte chose to ignore him, picking up her mug of coffee and walking around the counter. That wasn't real.

"Oh, so we are going to play that game?" He followed her and the brunette stopped, turning, "How do you know that I'm not here?"

She took in a deep breath, "Because you're...dead."

"Yes, I am," He nodded as Charlotte furrowed her eyebrows together, all the times she had imagined someone she killed weren't that real or...taunting, "But I assume that's not the first time that you've taken a human life? You have done it with such ease."

Charlotte took in his words...You have done it with such ease. Not the first time.

"You're a ghost," She stated, nodding to herself, "Ghosts are real. You are a ghost and you are trying to get back at me, yeah?"

"Yeah, very much," He nodded, inching closer to her and Charlotte shook her head, running her hands over her face. That wasn't real, "But can a ghost do this?" He grabbed her in a chokehold and strangled her.

Charlotte elbowed him in the stomach, releasing herself from his grasp. She pushed him off, sending Connor flying and pushing the couch back with him, "Stefan! Damon!" Charlotte called out as Connor got up and started to walk back towards her.

Charlotte took a couple of steps back, repeating over and over in her head that all of that wasn't real. It sure felt like it. She backed up against the counter, screaming out with her hands over her head, "Just get out of my head!"

"Why? So you could go on and live your life after burying me...so easy, don't you think?" He came back at her, tilting his head, "Is that how you drove all the other ghosts away? Play sweet and guilty?"

Charlotte shook her head, "I didn't mean to kill you...I had to and I am sorry, okay? I really wanted to help you get away."

"Right...dear Charlotte thought Elena would go for the kill but being the ever so caring friend, you just had to play the hero and the villain all together...and now you are going to have to deal with your choices—"

His steps got nearer as she shook her head before picking up her mug and smashing it against his head. She squeezed her eyes shut when some of the steaming hot water collided with her skin but healed within seconds.

"Charlotte, what the hell?"

That didn't sound like Connor. She peeled her eyes open, coming face to face with Stefan who had a somewhat shocked look on his face. Charlotte exhaled sharply, turning towards Damon who was running water through his hair by the sink, murmuring, "Who says good morning by smashing coffee into your head?"

She blinked back, looking behind Stefan at the couch that was untouched. I just pushed Connor against that. Charlotte ran a hand over her face, taking in a few deep breaths.

"Charlotte...are you okay?"

Taking in Stefan's question, she snapped out of it, saying, "What kind of question is that? Of course, I am okay," She opened the cupboard, pulling out a small towel before handing it to Damon, "I am sorry."

"I was probably sleepwalking or whatever...I will go get a shower and snap out of whatever that was," She rambled out quickly before walking past Stefan and straight upstairs.

Damon finished off drying his hair and turned to his brother, "Who in the hell makes coffee while sleeping? I know Char has her extraordinary moments but that was...weird."

Stefan shook his head, "Something's up."

"Yeah, her senses."

Stefan exhaled, heading out of the kitchen, "I will just go talk to her..."

His brother raised an eyebrow, "In the shower? All hot and steamy?"

"Stop that, it's not funny."

"Debatable," Damon shrugged his shoulders, "You just wish my joke was your reality. It's more sad than funny."

✵ ✵ ✵

Charlotte took in a deep breath, looking at her reflection in the mirror as she ran a hand through her now dried hair. Connor's words—or should she say his ghost's words? Whatever version of Connor that was, his words were haunting.

But I assume that's not the first time that you've taken a human life? You have done it with such ease.

Charlotte was very good when it came to blaming herself and hating every action that results in someone else's pain but that kind of guilt was different. It didn't feel self-inflicted, not entirely at least. She sighed, picking up her necklace off the nightstand and clasping it around her neck. The heart-shaped silver with a C carved inside while her daylight necklace was always around her neck and underneath the piece of clothing she wore.

She checked her look in the mirror one last time, pursing her lips together when she saw Connor standing in the mirror, right behind her.

"Charlotte?"

The Bernard vampire inhaled sharply, turning to the door where Elena stood, knocking lightly but the door was already halfway open, "Hey...I was wondering if you wanted to talk. Listen, about yesterday—"

Charlotte cut her off, excusing, "You weren't yourself, it's okay."

"Wait...I need to explain this," Elena shook her head, insisting.

Charlotte ran her tongue over her bottom lip, "Elena, you don't even know if there's an explanation to this...Look, you snapped out, it happens to the best of us. I am holding nothing against you, it's okay."

"No, no, it's not," The Gilbert girl claimed, stating, "You had to kill someone so I wouldn't, that's not okay."

"I have dealt with that guilt before, I can deal with it again. You are barely getting the hang of this, adding someone's death on your hands would just make it worse," She shrugged her shoulders, exhaling out, "I am okay, Elena. This is not your fault and it's fine."

"You can't keep taking the blame—"

"I am not. I made a choice and I am dealing with its consequences," Charlotte stated, folding her arms together, "Because yes, Elena, I would rather have to deal with the guilt of taking a human life again than see you go through it and lose yourself."

Elena's lips parted, a reply about to come out before Charlotte said, "And don't you go and tell me that you would have had it handled because I didn't meet you yesterday, Elena. You are my best friend and I know you. I also know that if the roles were reversed you would have done the same to protect me...and my sanity, wouldn't you?"

"Yes, but—"

"No, buts," She shook her head, interjecting, "That is all I needed to hear. Did you have breakfast? You should have breakfast. Did you get Jeremy with you? And Serena...oh, my God...I have to call her right now," Charlotte rambled out, shaking her head at herself. For a second there she forgot about everyone else when the guilt about what happened with Connor got too much.

"Calm down, one human at a time," Elena shook her head, sighing, "Yes, Jeremy is downstairs and Serena is completely fine. She slept over at our house yesterday and is probably on her way to the Grill right now."

"Nice, that's nice. Yeah, we should probably get breakfast," Charlotte nodded to herself, pushing Elena before herself out of the room before closing the door after them.

✵ ✵ ✵

"So...was it you or Stefan who compelled me?"

Jeremy spoke up after an awkward pause. Charlotte had already placed plates of pancakes in front of him and Elena before sitting down in front of her hot chocolate. She had been sitting in the same position for three whole minutes and made no move to start a conversation nor touch her drink.

"Charlotte," Jeremy waved his hand in front of her face, "Earth to Charlotte."

Damon furrowed his eyebrows, passing by her. He tapped the brunette's shoulder and she practically flinched back to reality. A soft gasp leaving her lips just as the Salvatore raised an eyebrow, "You good?"

"No, no, I am not," Charlotte got out of her seat, accidentally knocking it over, "There's something wrong. I need out of here. I need some air...," She trailed off, looking at Damon but all she could see was Connor.

"Decomposition starts in the first twenty-four hours. I'm rotting in an unmarked grave because of you!"

Charlotte shook her head at herself. He was everywhere. She couldn't take a moment to control herself or her thoughts because they were invaded by one highlighted thought. You are a monster and you deserve to die.

She backed away and straight onto the foyer but the bit of fresh air didn't last for long as soon as she stepped on the foyer, she was gone along with Stefan's company.

"Charlotte!"

✵ ✵ ✵

"You lost her?" Bonnie parted her lips, looking from Stefan to Damon to the Gilbert girl with her arms folded over her chest.

"Well, "lost" is a very strong word, we just technically don't know where she is..."

Stefan shook his head, adding, "I'm more worried about what Klaus said about this hunter's curse."

The Bennett witch furrowed her eyebrows together, "How does Klaus even know about this?"

"How does Klaus know anything?" Damon shrugged his shoulders, justifying, "Guy's like a billion years old."

Stefan pointed out, looking at Bonnie, "He said it was a witch's curse."

Bonnie sucked in a deep breath, "You know if I could do anything to find Charlotte or break whatever curse that is, I would. But I—"

The older Salvatore cut in, shaking his head, "But nothing, wave your magic wand, hocus pocus, begone hunter ghostus, whatever."

"The spirits won't let me do the magic I'd need to break the curse," She stated before an idea popped up in her head, "But I can ask Shane for help, he knows everything about everything."

Elena nodded, agreeing, "Okay, you two will handle the curse."

"And you two?"

"I am having this crazy idea of convincing Paulina to listen to the three sentences that come out of my mouth before deciding to kill me when I find her," She revealed with a hopeful grin on her lips, "Any good luck wishes are appreciated."

✵ ✵ ✵

One of Klaus' hybrids opened the door to a room as he walked in with Charlotte's arm still in his hold. She stopped asking questions halfway when she realized she won't get a solid answer.

"You can let go of me now," She spoke up as Klaus reluctantly let go of her, stepping back.

"I apologize for the lack of windows; it's to preserve the art," He started, pointing at the dark chamber with no opening for any outside light, "And of course to prevent you from taking off your daylight necklace and burning yourself to death in the sun."

Charlotte shook her head at his words, claiming, "I am not going to kill myself..."

"Oh, but you'll want to. I did," He shrugged his shoulders before adding, "Problem is, I'm immortal."

She furrowed her eyebrows together, questioning, "You went through this?"

"Yes, I did. For fifty-two years, four months, and nine days. I was tormented, in my dreams, my every waking moment, relentless, never-ending torture," Klaus answered her honestly, not sugarcoating it as Charlotte caught on to the idea that it will never stop and it was as real as it could get, "It was the only period of my life when I actually felt time."

"You should have told us what would happen if Connor died," Charlotte said, wrapping her arms around herself.

Klaus tilted his head back, replying, "You knew that the hunter had to be kept alive. You should have listened to me, love."

"I didn't mean to kill him...I just had to do it."

"Of course you did."

Charlotte scoffed, shaking her head at him, "Look who's speaking...I am sure you have gone through a lifetime of I had to do it's and still find it in yourself to judge others with it."

"I am not judging if anything...I am sympathizing."

She chuckled humorlessly, sarcasm dripping off her tongue, "Sure, I feel your sympathy so deep right now...you have no idea."

Klaus backed away, heading for the door as she got over herself, asking again, "How did you make it stop?"

He stopped and turned to her, "I didn't. Eventually, it just stopped. The hallucinations tend to appear in strange forms."

He walked out of the room while Chris stood in front of the door awkwardly. Charlotte pursed her lips together before raising her hand to signal an even more awkward wave, "Hi...I am usually more collected on normal days."

"Okay," Chris nodded before excusing himself and closing the door.

Charlotte ran a hand over her head, sitting down on the massive bed. She was thankful for the few seconds the hallucinations stopped but apparently the longer they are gone for, the stronger they come back.

✵ ✵ ✵

Less than an hour had passed before Chris returned with a duffel bag, "Clothes, toothbrush," He placed the duffel bag on the bed, "Klaus said you're gonna be here for a while...or at least until Paulina gets here."

"Paulina is probably in another state, if not another continent," Charlotte shook her head at those words.

"Well, I heard him on the phone with her...So she is probably on her way."

She nodded, using two fingers to massage her throbbing forehead, "Okay...Thank you, Chris."

He nodded, stepping out of the room as Charlotte sighed exsaperatedly, telling herself, "It's okay, I can do this. I can live through this."

"What about me?" Connor raised an eyebrow, bringing her attention to where he stood a few feet away, "I'm going to be with you forever, a constant reminder of what you've become. So, tell me, how did it feel to wrap your hands around my neck and with one flick take my life away?"

"Felt like something one would do and rather not speak about again," Charlotte replied, sitting down on the chair with her hands holding her head.

"Oh, but you did it plenty of times...and enjoyed it."

"No, no, I didn't," Charlotte shook her head, defending herself, "I have never taken a human life and felt okay with that. I am not a monster! I have made mistakes but I am not a monster!"

"You have killed an eight-year-old child, plenty of humans over the summer, you fed on their blood, let it run down that filthy throat of yours, and went on with your life as though it was nothing," Connor spat out every word, kneeling in front of her, "Now...tell me who does that, if not a ruthless and heartless monster that deserves to die?"

"I regret it...I have learned to accept that I can mistakes. I won't let you imprison me in my own mind."

"Imprisoned in your own mind? That's much better than a grave, miles and miles away from your family," Connor took on her words, asking, "Did you know I had a family? A brother, parents...A family that you only dream of."

Charlotte squeezed her eyes shut, "I am sorry, I am. I regret that I killed you but I had to, I am sorry."

"Are you sorry about Cassie? It's your fault she died."

She shook her head, sucking in a deep breath, "Don't, no."

He continued as though she hadn't cut in, "She ran off on that road and got hit by that car because of you. Because she saw you for who you really are, a monster that deserves to die. They tell you didn't push her or drain her dry but she knew what you were and that was enough."

Charlotte kept shaking her head, refusing to let his words sink in but he continued either way, "She should have lived, graduated high school, went to college...She died because of you. And I'm not going to stop until you've taken your last, miserable breath."

"I'm not going to let you do this to me...I can't let you do that."

Connor laughed out, making the solution very simple, "Then get rid of me. Kill yourself. You never wanted to be a vampire in the first place, now look at what you've become. You're a monster, and you deserve to die."

Suddenly the words she used to tell herself for months after turning her humanity back on were sinking in deeper and deeper. No, I can't go through that again. Believing she was a monster was something and having all of her kills and regrets laid out in front of her might have sounded the same level of pain but they weren't.

She turned away from him, shaking her head. "You don't want to listen to me? Fine."

Charlotte turned back around but instead of seeing Connor in front of her and tormenting her to death—it was Izadora Bernard, in all her glory. If Charlotte could think of someone who made her hate trying to be better more, no one would top Izadora.

"Ah, apparently somethings don't change, huh? Killer stays a killer?"

✵ ✵ ✵

Izadora was standing in front of Charlotte who made no movement to retreat or sit back down, "No words? Nothing to dear old Nana Izzie?"

"I guess I am sorry you fell off the staircase and died," Charlotte sighed, holding back in any tears that talking about Cassie brought to her eyes, "Or that my friend killed you. Yeah, I am sorry for that too."

"You know I believed you when you said that you came in peace and mean no harm to anyone," Izadora said, circling the cursed brunette vampire, "But my sister, Charlotte the second, always said no matter how innocent or harmless a vampire looks, give it a few minutes and the animalistic nature will kick in. They can't help it. Monsters know no control."

"She was always right."

"Things changed after you killed that boy though," She folded her arms together as Charlotte ran her tongue over her bottom lip, attempting to hold herself together, "Cassie followed and after her, all hell broke loose and everyone saw you for the monster you have always been."

"I have made a few mistakes. I can still do better. I can still try again."

"A few mistakes?" Izadora chuckled humorlessly, "Now I know you have changed for sure. Where is the Charlotte that refused to call any innocent bystander that was caught up in the crossfire... collateral damage? The girl who found a label such as collateral damage—a merciless eraser that takes the purpose and meaning of someone's life and turns into nothing."

"She is trying to swim but you are suffocating her..."

"Like you suffocated my niece? My beautiful sweet little niece that died in your arms—"

"Shut up! Stop talking! Stop it!" She screamed out, pushing her back but her hands shoot out to empty space and she collapsed on the floor, unable to hold her tears back in anymore.

✵ ✵ ✵

"You were such a good girl before all of that though, always trying to help and be the emotional support, no?" Izadora raised an eyebrow, "But somehow you were always the one that survived without the pain and the trauma...Elena became a vampire because your friend was jealous of her and that's definitely your fault. Serena lost her sister because of you. Bonnie lost her Grams getting you out of the tomb."

"All of their pains are because of you trying to be so perfect and uphold the example of the moral compass."

"I never meant to hurt anyone...I just wanted to be normal," Charlotte shook her, crying out loud, "I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask to be a monster...I didn't ask to lose control."

"The roots of all your problems are the fact that you let yourself keep going," She neared Charlotte, whispering in her ears, "Your life should have ended the day they put in that cart," The brunette shook her head, "You were meant to starve to death, you shouldn't have lived."

"I will not kill myself! I have gone this far and I can't give up..."

"Ugh, why not? Your very existence brings people nothing but pain," Izadora shrugged her shoulders, "Elena, Stefan, Damon, Serena, and Paulina...They are always in pain because of your choices and your mistakes."

"I mean, maybe it was worth it when you were worth it, but you're nothing now. You're a monster, Charlotte. You deserve to die."

Charlotte sunk back to the floor again, crying her heart out. The strength to fight back has long since faded and Izadora's words soon mixed with the self-deprecating guilt and pain fusing inside of her.

Her arms were wrapped around her legs, barely holding herself together as the tears escaped her. The door was swung open and she looked up, her eyes widening when she spotted Connor, "No, no, stop. Please, stay away from me! Please, I can't!"

He took steady steps towards her but she backed away, rising to her, "No, no," Charlotte shook her head, "Stay away from me."

Charlotte pushed him away from her, attempting to rush at the door but he grabbed her wrist, preventing her from passing through. She tried to pull away from him but when he wouldn't budge, she pushed off one of the chamber's many statues and vamp-sped out the door.

✵ ✵ ✵

Paulina ran her tongue over her bottom lip, looking over at Elena who stopped in front of her car. She was tempted to run her over but dismissed the idea as soon as she remembered that it wouldn't permanently kill her.

She got out of the car, slamming the door shut, "I have been on a plane for 8 hours and on the road for another 6, if you don't speak in seven seconds, I am gonna get back in that car and run you over."

"It's about Charlotte."

"Well, I don't see you speaking any faster," Paulina's hands were on her hips now as she looked the doppelganger over, "Klaus has her for her own good. She will be fine."

Elena cleared her throat, starting, "Here's the thing...we tried to free her and we did but then we lost her actually, Stefan lost her for the second time today if we are being specific—"

"Charlotte is out there alone with a curse that makes her suicidal while feeding off the guilt that she already has...you know, sometimes I wonder how bad things can get from here."

Paulina ran a hand over her face before Elena spoke up, "Stefan couldn't get through to her...she is in a bad shape and—"

For the second time, the older Gilbert interjected, "And neither of you know how to deal with the group's emotional support crumbling down, huh?" Paulina sighed exsaperatedly, turning back to get inside her car, "I will deal with it, you find a way to break that curse."

"We already did, we are just working on it," Elena revealed, nodding. Her ancestor slammed the car's door shut before she asked, "Do you even know where to find her?"

"I didn't meet Charlotte last year and although a lot of things about her changed, I know where suicidal Charlotte would normally go."

Elena's lips parted slightly but before questioning that, Paulina's car sped past her. It was a slight reassurance though. Despite how Elena couldn't stand her ancestor, she knew that if anyone could reach out to Charlotte then, it had to be Paulina.

✵ ✵ ✵

Charlotte found herself walking through the woods. It was as though her legs had a mind of their own, leading her down a path she vividly remembered but her mind replayed a few memories in the back of her head and realized where she was going.

"My mother hates me...she is leaving father because she hates me."

Emmeline shook her head, "No, no, Cher, no," She caressed her little sister's cheeks gently, "Mother loves you. She loves all of us. She is just going through circumstances...that we might not understand now."

"She hates us."

Charlotte was nothing but an emotional eleven-year-old girl when her mother disappeared, leaving nothing but a letter behind. She said she had to go, that she couldn't do it anymore. Charlotte didn't know the full contents of the letter but Fallon knew every word in the letter that she could recite it. Fallon was the one to find the letter and it took her a while to hand it over to their father.

Emmeline tried to control the damage as much as possible but Charlotte heard a few words of the letter that Fallon was yelling out loud with tears streaming down her face about her selfish their mother was.

"Mother will always love you, Charlotte."

"Mother said people that love you...will stay with you forever, no matter what. She doesn't love me," Charlotte shook her head, looking up at her oldest sister, "What did I do to make her stop loving me?"

"You are perfect, you did nothing," Emmeline kept repeating over and over again, holding her sister closer.

Charlotte replied, her voice barely audible, "But she still left."

That night, she made a decision. Charlotte thought if she had messed up so bad that her mother hated her enough to leave then she had no reason to stay alive anymore. She left in the middle of the night, slipping out of bed when Emmeline had fallen asleep.

She walked into the house backyard and straight into the woods. She was still in her nightgown but managed to pick up Emmeline's coat for the cold. Charlotte walked ahead into the wood before stopping at a lake way back behind her house. She knew it was far enough because she always played with her cousins there but they never got far enough.

Charlotte sighed, looking ahead at the lake, "There I am..."

"There you are."

She furrowed her eyebrows together, looking beside her to find another girl who looked closer to Fallon's age than hers. She sat with her fancy dress by the lake, ruining the dress with all the mud but Charlotte could see that the dress didn't matter to that girl.

"Who are you?" Charlotte asked. She was told not to speak to strangers and definitely when they were sitting alone in the woods by the lake, in the middle of the night. The Bernard girl had already decided to take her own life, it wouldn't hurt to break a few rules.

"Paulina...and you?"

"Charlotte. What brings you here?"

"My mother died."

Charlotte furrowed her eyebrows together. In some part of her, she felt like whoever this Paulina was, she was luckier than her. She lost her mother but it was a different kind of loss. It was certain, the assurance that Paulina's mother loved her must have been the only thing holding her together.

"And you?" Paulina asked, turning to look at Charlotte.

"My mother left us...and I have decided that I don't want to continue living."

Paulina raised her eyebrows, nodding, "Bold choice."

"Yes, you can try and stop me but I have already made up my mind—wait, what?" She paused, taking in the older girl's words. Was she not trying to stop her from taking her own life?

"I said, bold choice," She repeated herself, sighing, "Wish I could make it but my father would be devasted and my brother wouldn't stay the same."

Charlotte certainly didn't think that one over.

She kept walking until her shoes were soaked with mud. The lake has long since dried out. It was there. Since the first time Charlotte had the thought of giving up. It was silly but she knew she would have done it. The pain of losing her mother was too much, she was ready to give it all up.

"Are you ready to die yet? You know it's your only way out of this," Connor asked as she broke a tree branch and held it in her hands tightly.

"You can't take back every horrible monstrous thing that you did. It can never be undone," Izadora added as Charlotte walked back there in front of what was once a lake.

"You're a monster. You deserve to die."

Charlotte sobbed out, holding it over her chest. So that was it then...She was squeezing her eyes shut when she heard.

"It's okay, Cherry."

Charlotte peeled her eyes open and looked over and ahead of her to see Cassie standing there, "Cassie?"

Her little niece smiled at her, walking forward, "It's okay. You are doing the right thing, just hold on."

"I don't know what to do," Charlotte cried out, shaking her head, "I never meant to kill you. I am sorry...I am always in pain and I need you to know that I am sorry."

Deep down Charlotte knew that was a hallucination, Cassie wasn't actually there. Cassie was dead. However, she took advantage of every single second that felt as though her niece was right in front of her.

"It's okay. I forgive you but you need to do this. So you never hurt anyone again."

Charlotte sobbed out, "Cassie, I didn't want to hurt you. I lost control. If I could take it back, I would," She was shaking with tears streaming down her face, "You deserved to live but I am a monster and I deserve to die."

The tip of the tree's branch was now over Charlotte's chest as she took in a deep breath, "It's okay...I will be waiting for you on the other side. Everyone is happy there. Dad is there."

"Cassie, you loved me like I was your mother and I ruined everything...because of me you don't have the life you were meant to have."

Cassie shook her head, "You didn't. I am happy here. I don't miss Dad anymore because he is with me. He helps me paint and he told me to tell Serena to have good stories so she could tell us one day."

"I am sorry, I am so sorry..." Charlotte repeated over and over again as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"Charlotte?"

She turned around, facing Paulina. Charlotte furrowed her eyebrows together, no one was supposed to know that she was here, it was discreet and unexpected. No one was supposed to show up and try to stop her.

"Lina?"

Charlotte turned back but realized that Cassie was gone. Her breaths quickened as she turned back to the Gilbert, "How did you find me?"

"I guess I just know you that well, you are a bit of a poet yourself."

Charlotte nodded to herself, swallowing a lump in her throat, "You were right, Lina. Living long enough does change people. I am sorry I didn't understand that sooner but I do now and I can't...I can't live with myself after everything that I have done."

"What about me? What about Elena? What about Stefan? Bonnie? Damon? Caroline? Serena? And Jeremy...even Jeremy. Who will he have after you? Who's going to make him that hideous healthy breakfast of yours?"

"He is better off. They are all better off without me...I ruin things. I don't understand and I hurt people and I don't want to be that person. I can't be that person," Charlotte shook her head, crying aloud, "Everyone's life will be better off when I am dead."

"Well, certainly not mine."

"I drove you away," Charlotte claimed, sobbing out, "I kept making terrible choices and I kept hurting you and you should have hated me. Even I hate myself, I am an awful person who keeps making awful choices and hurting people. I am a monster."

"And I deserve to die."

"No, there's no awful people. Just really good people who make bad choices sometimes. And you are a really good person, Charlotte," Lina claimed, nearing her in an attempt to take the stake before Charlotte stepped back, "You deserve to live."

✵ ✵ ✵

Charlotte sat down on the muddy ground, "My father and sisters would understand why I had to, wouldn't they?"

Paulina shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know about your father but I know mine will hate his life and think he failed me and that my brother wouldn't try again. He would see a meaningless world."

"I need to do this. It hurts."

"Sometimes... it's okay to hurt to ease the pain of someone you really care about. If they care about you just as much, they will ease yours and life will keep going," Paulina stated, flashing Charlotte a small smile before rising to her feet.

"How do you know that?"

"My mother was a very wise woman...she used to say that a lot."

Charlotte looked back down at the lake, "My mother used to say people that love you will always stay. She didn't love me."

"But your sisters and father do...they stayed, maybe you should."

Charlotte stabbed herself with the stake but Paulina rushed at her, making her barely miss her heart. She vamp sped away, holding the end of it and ready to push it deeper before Paulina yelled out, "Charlotte, don't!"

"What you're going through is a curse. We know how to break it, but I just need you to let me get that branch out of you right now."

"No! Let me die!"

She went to push the stake deeper inside of her before Lina screeched out, "Wait! If you are so adamant on dying, let me tell you something first!"

"That night...at the lake. I told you that I would do it but my father would be devasted..."

"And your brother wouldn't stay the same...," Charlotte trailed off, finishing for her.

Paulina nodded, "Yeah...the truth is, I lied," She inspected Charlotte's arched eyebrow and confused posture, "My father didn't give a damn if I dropped dead that night and my brother was too fucking ambitious to care about what I was going through or what could happen to me."

"I just told you what would have made me stay. Every day I went through hell in that house, the words, their perspectives, thoughts that haunted me and I kept going through hell for my mother but one day...she died and she left me alone. I had no one to keep going through hell for."

Charlotte sucked in a deep breath, listening to her every word, "But I saw you and I knew how beautiful your life was...I knew your sister and I knew you deserve better. You deserved to live and the day I convinced you to do that...I kept hurting to ease your pain too."

"Because...," Lina sighed, about to continue as Charlotte said, "It's okay to hurt to ease the pain of someone you really care about."

Charlotte shook her head at herself, "But I never eased yours..."

"It's okay, you were going through hell and I have been there."

Charlotte felt a weight lifting off her shoulders as the curse was lifted off. She attempted to pull the stake out of her, wrapping her hands around it, "Don't!"

"It's okay...The curse, it's gone. I can't feel it."

"You should probably not try and pull that out though...I mean, what are the odds?" Paulina shrugged her shoulders.

✵ ✵ ✵

Charlotte stepped out of her shower in her pajamas, drying her hair. One of the things that she always looked up to after a long terrific day in a town like Mystic Falls was a hot shower that almost erased everything. Keyword: almost.

She looked over at her bed, finding her dress from earlier—it was drenched in blood around the chest with a large hole. She furrowed her eyebrows together before picking it up and descending the stairs. It was cleaning time.

She held the dress in her hands like a deer caught in the headlights when she spotted Damon and Stefan downstairs, what was she expecting anyways...It was still their house.

"Hi..."

"Hi—"

Charlotte felt the need to cut off Damon, rambling out, "Look, I am so sorry that I smashed a freaking mug on your head and ran off like I did. I wasn't myself and it was a pretty bad day...so now can we pretend that it was a bad nightmare and never mention it again? Yes, thank you."

She smiled lightly, walking past them and to the sink. Charlotte bent down, looking for bleach or any laundry detergent that could save her poor dress with a frown on her lips.

Stefan sighed as Damon shrugged his shoulders and walked upstairs. Charlotte finally closed the cupboard, satisfied with the detergent she found. She turned on the water and started scrubbing.

"Charlotte, what are you doing?"

"I am washing it. I like that dress, I don't want to throw it."

"What are you gonna do about the large hole?"

Charlotte blinked, taking in what he had just said before turning off the water, "The hole...can it even be sewed back...Do I sew it back or wash it first? I think they always wash it first but I need to be sure," She kept rambling out and shaking her head at herself.

He knew what she was doing. Charlotte didn't want to talk about anything that happened today in any way, shape, or form. She didn't want a mere mention of how she nearly took her own life and attacked anyone that tried to stop her from doing so. She was guilty. Not just about Connor that time but about letting herself reach that point.

"Take a few deep breaths, you can just get another dress."

"But you think I will find that color again? I mean..nobody likes gray that much but also it's like a really good color for the dress," Charlotte claimed, her mouth forming the frown it usually has when she was deeply thinking about something.

"If getting another dress is the top priority, we will find it," Stefan assured her and she nodded before raising both of her eyebrows suddenly.

"Oh, my God."

"What is it?"

"Miss Mystic Falls is next week! Oh, my God...I am on that list and I don't have a date and by now it's pretty clear that I have no life and can't just go up to any guy to ask him to go with me," Charlotte practically facepalmed herself, "I have already lost this thing without trying. That's just—"

"Disappointing," He finished it off, making the funny look he is giving her as clear as possible.

Charlotte's mouth formed an 'o' before nodding to herself, "Stefan, you are a guy, you can dance and you happen to like me. Will you be my date? Please?"

"I thought you'd never ask," He passed her a teasing smile, "Yes, I would love to be your date."

✵ ✵ ✵