𝟔𝟔

a/n: Charlotte's outfit for the chapter is above!

☆═━ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐈𝐗𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐈𝐗━═☆

You can never un-love someone you have loved for so long because losing them would mean giving up a part of yourself, just digging up a hole inside of your heart where that person used to be.

It was there. It existed. It kept moving like rapids through her veins, stealing her breath away. Charlotte thought that it comes and goes, well, just occasionally seems as it's not there, but it's always there. And when you find love like that, you don't want to give it up.

She said no and thought she permanently closed a broken door.

Dear Diary, or me, or whatever,

I am doing this, I am taking a chance and I am jumping. It's not that I am not used to taking a risk, I just happen to be the most unfortunate person on this big planet. I know a few others could call me lucky but you can't judge someone by what they chose to let you see.

You never truly know someone unless you have been with them through it all, the highs and the lows. Those days everything blurs and the other ones were you feel like you are on top of the world.

On top of the world, I think it's an overrated expression but our English teacher recommends it so here it is. Is anybody really on top of the world? I mean, if you felt that then wow. You are lucky, I envy that.

I envy people who can take chances and feel like it's a new beginning not the end of the world. It just breaks my heart a little when I remember that I was this exact kind of person...once upon a time.

And this is why I don't like writing here. Elena was right, writing does help, some people. When I write here, I feel like I am intensifying my already tense emotions. I remember when I had just turned everything was getting too much.

I could hear the blood stop rushing through their veins. I could hear my blood stop rushing through my veins. It felt like an insatiable desire to die but you just can't just kick that chair down because something is holding it to the ground. I never really questioned what led me there and why I did it, it was stupid but it happened.

I can't change what happened. No one can. Sometimes I catch myself wishing it didn't happen but I know that it needed to. I hate everything that I had to go through but I don't want to erase it, I don't want to numb it.

I need to feel it because without the pain, I am not this exact version of myself and I am beginning to like this version, I think I will keep it.

She let out a content sigh before closing off her diary and shoving it in the first drawer of her nightstand. Charlotte adjusted her bag on her shoulders as she made her way downstairs to see Damon and Stefan having a conversation that died down as soon as she stopped at the bottom of the stairs.

"Well, don't get quiet on my account," She commented, looking between the two.

"I was just telling my brother how adorably inconvenient your sudden urge to step in and act like heroes with Elena's little blood problem," Damon pursed his lips together, stating.

Charlotte raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest, "Oh, I am sorry. Did my two days off of dealing with you and everyone's mental health issues gave you the impression that I quit?"

"Maybe."

"Oh, I wish," She shook her head, putting on her sunglasses, "But there's only one Charlotte and just about eight mentally unstable kids, someone has to do the work."

"Listen, Damon, you tried to control my best friend and she is shaken up a bit so if she won't tell you how much controlling and toxic you can get, I have no problem pointing it out"

"By punching me in the face?" He interjected, huffing out.

"Oh, don't be dramatic. You needed a wake-up call, if anything, I helped out."

"Excuse me," Charlotte walked past the two Salvatores, pulling her keys out as she made her way towards her car. Damon furrowed his eyebrows together, counting down the eight she had mentioned before scoffing out.

"Wait...why was I included?!"

"The others were included, you were probably on top of the list," Stefan chuckled, retorting as Charlotte's car pulled out of the driveway.

✵ ✵ ✵

Charlotte sighed, walking into the history classroom. It was the first time to be back there since Alaric's death. It felt weird to be there after everything that happened but if she managed to get herself out of bed today, she won't turn back now.

She spotted Elena sitting at her desk as she looked over at the chalkboard with Alaric's handwritten notes on it. Elena was so close to crying as Charlotte sighed, "It's not necessary to be here now, you know..."

"It's my senior year, I survived this long...I gotta be here," Elena ran her tongue over her bottom lip as Charlotte moved to take her seat in front of Elena, "Besides, he would have wanted us to keep going."

"Yeah, he would...," Charlotte nodded, rubbing her hands together, "Just don't overthink it."

Stefan walked into the class, taking his usual seat beside Elena just as Charlotte suggested, "What if we spend the night at the Boarding House with ice cream, movies, and board games? I mean...there's an all-ages curfew anyways."

Rebekah stopped in front of Charlotte's desk, slamming a flyer down as she said, "You can have ice cream at home like a lame person when you are not friends with Rebekah Mikaelson. I'm throwing a little anti-curfew party at my new house. Starts at fifth period and goes 'til whenever."

"And I am invited?" Charlotte raised an eyebrow, looking down at the flyer.

"Sweetheart, you are on top of the guest list," Rebekah replied like it was common-sense before turning to the doppelganger, "You're welcome to join, Elena, if you'd like to bury the hatchet."

She handed Elena a flyer and the brunette took it, commenting, "It's a pretty enormous hatchet."

The Mikaelson girl rolled her eyes, stating, "Well, I'm feeling generous of spirit."

"New house, huh? Did your brother finally kick you out?"

Charlotte pursed her lips together, exchanging a look with Stefan as Rebekah claimed, her fun demeanor long gone, "He didn't kick me out, I left."

"So, you left the only person on earth that actually likes you—"

The Bernard chose to cut in, rubbing the back of her head, "We will try to be there, Rebekah...But no promises, you know with the curfew and all."

Rebekah seemed to ignore Charlotte's attempt at calming both of them down, looking at Elena, "Well, your ex-boyfriend had always been in love with your best friend and you couldn't change it...So, who's really winning in life here, Elena?"

Charlotte ran her tongue over her bottom lip, clearly not happy to be dragged into it as Rebekah added, "I mean...just thinking about all those possible scenarios now that you are not together. I might even pity you."

"Why are you still in town, Rebekah? Don't you have anywhere else to go?" Stefan asked, finally stepping in.

"Well, history's my favourite class. Actually, where is Mr. Saltzman...?" She paused dramatically as Elena's rage intensified, "Oh, that's right, I killed him."

Elena lost her temper and threw her pencil at Rebekah's face but the Original grabbed it and threw it back at her, impaling her in the shoulder. They glared at each other as Charlotte turned to the blonde vampire, whispering out, "Rebekah!"

"I will see you," Rebekah shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly before turning to walk away.

Elena removed the pencil from her chest and got up before anyone else in class noticed what just happened. They quickly walked into the hallway as Stefan gently held Elena's arm in an attempt to calm her down.

"Just breathe, just breathe. You haven't felt this kind of rage before."

"I hate her," Elena stopped walking as she spat out in anger, shaking her head at herself, "I didn't think I was capable of hate, but I hate her, and I hate that I hate her."

"Relax, she is just trying to get under your skin—"

The Gilbert vampire interjected, looking over Stefan's shoulder, "That's the hunter."

Stefan and Charlotte both turned around to find Connor as the Salvatore asked aloud, "What the hell is he doing here?"

Connor started to walk towards Jeremy, who was at his locker as Elena shook her head, "Jeremy. No," She attempted to move past both vampires before Charlotte held her back.

"No, no, no. Elena, just calm down," Charlotte took in a deep breath, pointing over to the Gilbert's bloody hand, "Take care of that."

She nodded, turning away to the restroom before Stefan said, "Go with her, she is not very stable right now."

Charlotte nodded before adding, "Don't do anything stupid."

"Do I ever?"

"Do you ever not?" She chuckled, turning away from him and straight to the girls' restroom.

Charlotte reviewed the words in her word before swinging the door open to find Elena cleaning her shoulder with the soaked tissues, "I know it sucks and it's an extreme level of shit right now but just keep taking deep breaths."

"She makes me so mad, Charlotte, you have no idea!"

"That is what she wants, Elena, to make you so mad," Charlotte retorted, shaking her head, "Don't give her that. It's like restating that she won."

"You think she won?" Elena raised an eyebrow, asking.

The Bernard vampire ran a hand over her forehead, sighing, "That's not what I mean but I know that the only thing going on in your head right now is how to kill her and you can't do that."

"Why not? Because she is your friend? And I am supposed to stand back as she takes over my life and my school...What's next? You?"

Charlotte scoffed out, shaking her head, "Are you listening to yourself? Elena, you are my friend. I am not doubting you but going up against an Original is not the smartest move for a newly turned vampire."

"And because I have been there, okay?" She sighed, shrugging her shoulders, "When I turned my humanity on, I focused on anger...It was directed at Lina because if she hadn't locked me in that apartment then I wouldn't have lost control...I wouldn't have..."

Charlotte squeezed her eyes shut, sucking in a deep breath, "...Done what I have done...But then I realized that she is also the person who made me turn it back on so I directed that anger and that hate onto myself..."

"What are you trying to tell me here?"

"That at the end of the road it's not worth it, Elena. Hating her or myself wasn't worth it because what's done is done!" Charlotte claimed, folding her arms together, "It's there. It will always be there. So, you can either watch Rebekah take over your life and be mad and murderous about it or you can laugh and have the best fun show as she realizes that she can't get to you."

Elena sucked in a deep breath, taking in Charlotte's words as the petite brunette raised an eyebrow, "Which of them sounds better to you?"

The Gilbert vampire sighed, about to respond before the door swung open and Heather, a fellow classmate, walked in, "There you are. Rebekah sent me to see if you were okay."

Charlotte's eyes widened, seeing blood drip from Heather's neck underneath her hand, "Okay, this is bad..."

Elena started breathing heavily, standing back with her hands holding onto the sink as she tried to resist the girl's blood. Charlotte shook her head at herself, pulling up her jacket's sleeve before biting into her wrist and forcing the blood into Heather's mouth.

"Oh, is darling Elena still having problems with blood?" Rebekah walked in, commenting as Charlotte pulled Heather to the sink and turned on the tab.

She soaked in some tissues before moving to clean her classmate's bloodied neck after it healed. Charlotte sighed, looking up at Heather, "You were walking through the corridor and met up with Rebekah, talked about her party, and got a little late to Biology. Nothing else happened."

"Charlotte Bernard...ever the hero."

She shook her head as Heather walked out of the restroom, "What the hell do you think you are doing, Rebekah?"

"Just helping dear Elena adjust to the interesting life of a vampire."

Charlotte tsk'd, shaking her head, "You don't have any right to come into our town, our school, and hurt our classmates and expect it to pass. Look, I don't know what sick things you and you are family are used to doing in places you claim as yours but try something like that again," She walked up to the blonde vampire, finishing, "And you will have me to deal with. Not Damon, not Stefan, me. And trust me, I am not fun or cute when I am pissed off."

Rebekah raised her eyebrows, an unreadable expression on her face as Charlotte turned to Elena, "Let's go, this day is already over."

✵ ✵ ✵

"So, how is she now?"

"Convinced it would be better to show up to her party and rub it in her face that she is not phased," Charlotte answered Caroline, shaking her head, "I am not in on it but if it will make her feel better then fine, I guess."

Caroline nodded before asking, "Okay, what are you doing today?"

"Going home, sleeping until midterms pass or something," She chuckled to herself, walking ahead as Caroline tsk'd, "What?"

"No, you are not."

"I am not?"

"Mhm, you are going to have fun today, a lot of fun," Caroline claimed, sighing as Charlotte raised an eyebrow, sensing a plan already formed in the blonde's stubborn head.

"Careful there, the world stops turning when fun and I are put in the same sentence," She stated, holding her bag close to her chest.

The Forbes rolled her eyes, "Haha, so funny. No, you will have a great day because..."

"Because...?"

Caroline grinned widely, "The reason is waiting outside."

Charlotte raised an unimpressed eyebrow before opening the door and peaking her head outside, "No," She closed the door just as quickly, turning to the blonde.

"Just today. Give him today and say no as much as you want after that."

"I can't," She exhaled sharply, dismissing, "Caroline, I seriously can't."

"Why can't you?"

"Because...I don't want to put myself in that place again. I am not stupid. I will listen to you, go out with him, be happy for a while, and then what? It won't last," Charlotte stated, shaking her head, "He will do something...it will end just as quick as it restarted."

Caroline ran her tongue over her bottom lip, asking, "What if it doesn't end? What if it goes just the way it should have been? Are you really willing to let go of that chance because you are scared?"

"Yes...no, I don't know!"

Charlotte pursed her lips together, sucking in a deep breath as she ran the idea over in her head. She really shouldn't do this. She was moving on, it was going well.

"Fine."

Caroline almost jumped out in excitement as Charlotte rolled her eyes and swung the door open before walking out of the school. She sighed, almost turning back but somehow, she kept walking straight ahead to Stefan Salvatore who sat by his motorcycle in all his glory.

For a second there, she almost forgot what it took to believe that she was over any form of feelings she had for him. Charlotte was not a very good liar and that is usually good but she could never nail the 'fake it till you make it' thing and that always got to her.

He held the safety helmet out to her and she raised an eyebrow, "You are not afraid that I would say something a little too hurtful and turn you down?"

"It happened too much for it to be surprising or scary," Stefan shrugged his shoulders, replying, "Plus, half of the time I deserve it."

"Half?"

"Mostly," He pursed his lips together, claiming as the brunette raised her eyebrows at him, "Okay, all of the time. Happy?"

"A little," She shrugged her shoulders, the hint of a smile on her lips, "So...is that what you had in mind when you took the motorcycle out of the garage today?"

"Kind of..."

Charlotte folded her arms together, "It's a good effort, to be honest," She bit the insides of her cheeks as Stefan raised an eyebrow, awaiting her reply, "A little too good for me to turn it down."

She picked up the helmet before asking, "Can I drive, though? That would be like...an excellent level of effort!"

"Nice try but no."

"Just two minutes, 120 seconds...they will pass just like that—"

"No," He interjected, helping her put on the helmet. Her lips formed a pout, huffing her hair away from her face as he messed it up a little while tying the helmet close.

Charlotte looked up at Stefan as he brushed the stray strands of hair away from her face, "There..."

She ran her tongue over her bottom lip, asking, "So...where are we going?"

"Take your pick."

"Well, you can't just go anywhere with a motorcycle," Charlotte rolled her eyes, getting on the back of the motorcycle after him, "There are a few limits."

"Just take a pick and leave the rest to me."

She wrapped her arms around his waist, a quick squeal escaping her as he started the motorcycle, "Just...go anywhere. I have nothing in mind."

✵ ✵ ✵

"Ah, of all the good places and breathtaking sights...," Charlotte chuckled to herself, looking over at the nearly forgotten part of the forest, their place.

"I was feeling—"

"Epic? For old times' sake?"

"Maybe."

Charlotte shoved her hands in her pockets, pointing out, "We need to talk, you know. I mean the ride was fun and all...It's just going to take more than that."

"Well, I have been trying to talk to you for a while," Stefan replied, folding his arms together.

"Okay, talk."

He sighed, reminding the brunette, "I have already done my part. I want to be with you and I love you...," Charlotte held her breath as he continued, "I know that it's going to take a while for you to trust me, for this...to go back to what it was."

"There's no way we are going back to that starting pointing," Charlotte shook her head, stating, "We are not really the same simple people we were back then."

"That's a given," Stefan nodded, inhaling sharply, "The point is, I am willing to wait for as much as it takes you to trust me and I will do everything for this to work again."

"And you are not going to walk away when things get tough?"

"Never."

Charlotte took in a deep breath, starting, "If you really want me to give this—us...a chance then I need you to promise me something," She looked up at him, continuing, "When you left me—when we ended things...I felt like I was the most worthless person in the world...that I wasn't enough. I know that it can't be guaranteed whether we will end up together or not but I need you to promise me that if I do this, if I choose to trust you—you will never allow me to feel this way ever again."

"Can you promise me that?"

"I can't understand how someone like you could ever feel like they are not enough," He started as Charlotte pursed her lips together, tilting her head back, "You are perfect. You are more than enough."

"Well, when the love of your life leaves you to be with a girl he met a week prior...Self-esteem goes out of stock for a while."

"I promise that I will never ever make you feel that way and if someone so much as tries to—"

"Okay, we get it, you are scary when you want to be," She chuckled, interrupting, "I got the part I want, anyways."

He rolled her eyes, "You had to ruin the moment, didn't you?"

Charlotte shrugged her shoulders, "I couldn't help myself."

She chuckled, looking up at him and for a little while, as he smiled back, things were back to how they were.

He drove through the countryside with Charlotte's arms wrapped around his waist. She removed her arms from around Stefan's waist and placed them on his shoulders so she could stand up on the seat. Once her feet were balanced, she let go of Stefan and spread her arms out wide so she can revel in the feel of the breeze rushing past her.

And in that single moment, Charlotte felt like she was on top of the world.

✵ ✵ ✵

you're very much welcome, darlings