𝟒𝟗

a/n: Char's outfit for the chapter is above!

☆═━ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄━═☆

Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock.

Charlotte hadn't taken her eyes off of the small yellow colored wall clock. Tick tock. It had been hours and she wouldn't bat an eyelash. Tick tock. Paulina said to focus her emotions on one, possibly a good one but all she could feel was pain, guilt, and shame for every word that ever left her lips in the past three months.

Tick tock. She remembered everything that she did but worst of all, Charlotte remembered liking it. Tick tock. Paulina walked into the room, holding a tray in her hands as she smiled weakly, "I made you cookies?"

Charlotte glanced at the brunette vampire before looking back at the clock on the wall.

Paulina sucked in a deep breath before sitting down beside her, "Remember when I would make these and sit down to hold you and Angie...through it all."

She chuckled softly, placing a hand over her mouth, "You remember that?"

The Gilbert smiled, crossing her legs together on the bed, "Of course I do. You both ruined my dress with tear stains," She paused as Charlotte smiled, looking down at her hands, "But I wouldn't have wanted it any other. Just the three of us...happy or sad, we were together."

"It feels like ages ago..."

"It was ages ago."

Charlotte's smile faded slowly as she asked, "What would she say if she saw me now...huh, she probably won't even recognize me."

"Angie was not judgemental, she was understanding, unique, and her mind just worked in its own way," Paulina stated, taking hold of Charlotte's hand, "She would love you either way."

"That would be hard," She sighed, turning to Paulina, "Even I hate myself."

"Take it from the queen of self-loathe... it's not worth it. None of this is," Paulina replied, folding her arms together, "Because in the end, when all is said and done. You will only have you and you is the most important thing in the world...you can never love anyone before you love yourself."

"And what about Elijah?"

Paulina gave her a small smile, claiming, "Loving him made me love myself. He taught me that it's okay to make mistakes, to fall, and to get back up. I just had to fail another million times to get it right but he was there each one of them."

Charlotte nodded before her friend smiled, insisting, "One day, you are going to find someone who will hold you when you are sad before dancing with you in your victories—"

She interjected, rising to her feet, "That was really inspiring, Lina...But I need to go. I have to get my clothes from the Salvatores' place. I can't even believe I used to wear these extremely revealing and oddly bold things."

"It was cute," Paulina chuckled, shrugging her shoulders before she asked, "Do you need me to come with you? It's okay if you did."

Charlotte shook her head, "No, I will just grab my things and get back here then head to school. First day of Senior year...It should have felt more...exciting? I guess."

Paulina pursed her lips together, "I need to tell you something. I mean...you were going to find out either way but Elena is alive."

The Bernard vampire furrowed her eyebrows together, adjusting to the news as she stammered out, "But Stefan said..."

"And Stefan turned his humanity off after Klaus compelled him to do so, in case you run into him in Geometry or something," Paulina added, rising to her feet as she asked, "Do I get you peanut butter sandwiches for school or you need lunch money?"

Charlotte scoffed, shaking her head, "Can you just give me a few minutes to process this?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. Take your time, Cherry."

The Bernard gaped before Rebekah Mikaelson passed by the door, "C'mon, we don't want to be late, do you, now? First day of school! First impressions, Lottie."

"Okay...what the hell?" Charlotte turned to Paulina, her eyebrows almost at her hairline.

Paulina shrugged her shoulders, "Kids gotta do school, yeah? I would drive you but I am busy...job hunt and all that."

The Gilbert placed a kiss on her forehead before giving Rebekah a high-five and walking out the door. "We are going to have so much fun!"

She chuckled nervously, "I am sure."

✵ ✵ ✵

In front of Mystic Falls High School stood Serena, Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena with a scarf around her neck, to hide the bite mark Stefan left just the night before.

"Here we are. Senior year," Caroline smiled, looking over at the school.

Bonnie frowned, asking, "Anyone else think it should feel slightly more...empowering?"

"Our last year of school and it doesn't even feel right," Serena folded her arms together, scowling when one of the cheerleaders waved her way.

Caroline sighed, nodding, "Okay. So prank night was a bust," She claimed, smiling brightly, "But we are accepting it, and we are moving on."

"You're right," Bonnie shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly, "I mean, why should I let the fact that my boyfriend is seeing the ghost of his dead girlfriends hinder this experience?"

"Yes! And why should I let the fact that my boyfriend was turned into a hybrid put a damper on an otherwise fabulous day?" Caroline chimed in, adding.

Serena chuckled mockingly, shrugging her shoulders, "And why should let my mother's scheduled return next week with her finance— now, husband to live with me ruin my senior year, yeah?"

"Your mom's coming back?" Caroline's lips parted, turning to her.

The Bernard forced a smile, replying, "Apparently, I am too young to live on my own and she suddenly realized that whatever happened between us. I am her only living...daughter."

"Today's our anniversary," Elena spoke up, hugging her books close to her chest, "Technically, Stefan and I met on the first day of school last year."

"Yeah. You two win."

"In the miserable and persevering competition? Such an honor."

✵ ✵ ✵

Charlotte walked in first, followed by Rebekah. Her eyes immediately fell on the youngest Salvatore on the couch, having a buffet of girls, with the majority of them lying around, dead.

Rebekah raised her eyes, pursing her lips together before Charlotte claimed with a shrug, "He is a messy eater."

Her face pulled up a disgusted look before she walked by the girls' corpses or sleeping bodies...Some passed out, others didn't. She went upstairs quickly and straight to her room. Charlotte sighed, walking inside before she pulled her clothes in a bag and passed by her bathroom to pick up her towels.

She noticed how nothing was touched in her bedroom before pursing her lips together and pulling her bag off the bed.

Charlotte stopped at the door, finding Damon there, raising his eyebrows, "Charlotte?"

"Yeah, chill. I am me again, I don't have any plans of hurting anyone's fragile feelings," She assured, patting his shoulders, "And I am late for school, so excuse me."

Damon tilted his head back, folding his arms together, "I know you turned it back on. Paulina gave me a heads up."

"You two are on speaking terms? Good for you, I guess."

She passed by him, pulling her bag down the stairs before Rebekah asked her, "That was all?"

Charlotte nodded, "Yeah...let's go."

"What not even a Hi?"

She turned around, taking a look at Stefan. He had a smirk on his face, blood on the corners of his mouth as Charlotte answered, "I was actually going to apologize for a lot of things but...seeing as you don't particularly care. It's not worth it."

Rebekah nodded towards the door, getting impatient when Charlotte remained in her place. The Bernard vampire bit her lip, tapping her feet on the floor before she dropped her bag and walked over to Stefan.

She didn't know what came over her but she just pulled him off the couch and punched him, "That's for lying about Elena. Go to hell."

Damon chuckled, quite impressed before Charlotte sighed, turning to the Mikaelson at the door, "Now, we can go."

"Lead the way, girl...Wow."

✵ ✵ ✵

After leaving her luggage at Paulina's apartment, Charlotte stood with Rebekah in front of the school, holding her bag to her chest as she looked over at all of the students rushing inside.

"I don't think I should be here..."

Rebekah rolled her eyes, asking, "What happened to the girl who punched Stefan Salvatore half an hour ago? The one who was ready to start fresh?"

"She was too brave for it to be true," Charlotte responded, pursing her lips together, "How will I face Serena...and Elena, oh my God—"

Rebekah cut her off, placing her hands on Charlotte's shoulders, "Don't overthink it. You will walk in there, raising your head as though nothing had happened and if someone tries to approach you, so help me I will—"

"You are a good friend, Rebekah...," Charlotte gave the blonde a small smile, stating.

Rebekah mirrored her smile, replying, "And you are late for French, Lottie."

"Oh mon Dieu!" Charlotte screeched out, running inside.

✵ ✵ ✵

Charlotte smiled, thanking her French teacher before proceeding out of class and down the hallway. She glanced over, spotting Elena and Bonnie by their lockers before quickening her pace. She took the next turn to supposedly History class before she collided with someone.

Looking up, she frowned, commenting, "Stefan? What are you doing here? Life as a no humanity vampire is best lived at home."

"Ah, well, I'm compelled to look out for Elena, figured I ought to be here." The humanity-free Salvatore shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. She pursed her lips together before he raised an eyebrow, "What? Is it because I didn't tell you she was alive or because you just miss when you had the freedom to be less of...that."

Charlotte nodded to herself, "Get out of my way, Stefan."

"Make me."

She raised her eyebrows at his challenging tone, "If I do, you won't be able to walk these hallways so proud anymore. Just get out of my way."

"You are pathetic and boring," He stepped out of the way as Charlotte looked him, shaking her head as Stefan spoke up, "Or better yet," He grabbed her hand, leading the way to a classroom as Charlotte tried to break free but being the barely feeding vampire she was, she couldn't.

They were in the Chemistry lab, Charlotte's face paled, spotting Callie, her classmate from Maths class. She was scared out of her mind, "Charlotte...what's happening? He told me I can't move and...I can't?"

Charlotte looked at Stefan before turning to Callie, "Hey, you are going to be okay, Callie...Just stay calm," She glanced at the Salvatore, "You don't have to do any of this to get to me. Just let her go."

"Let her go?" He repeated, raising his eyebrows, "Wasn't it to you that was tired of not being allowed to do any killing?" Stefan reminded her before pointing over to Callie, "Well, here we are. I don't see Paulina anywhere, do you?"

She sucked in a deep breath, shaking her head, "I am not like that now."

Stefan shrugged, "But I am," He attacked Callie, instantly. Charlotte wanted more than anything to intervene and pull him off of her but some part of her was terrified that if she tried to do something right, she will mess it up. Whether she meant to or not.

She cried out, "Stefan, stop! Stefan, please!" He pulled away from the blonde girl as Charlotte sighed in relief before he ran his fingers across the girl's neck, dipping it in blood.

"You sure you don't want a taste? Between me and you, she is delicious."

Charlotte squeezed her eyes shut, repeating over and over again. I can't. I shouldn't and I wouldn't. She sighed, insisting, I can't. I shouldn't and I wouldn't.

She felt herself almost giving in to the temptation to feel the taste of the blood on her tongue before she heard a thud and opened her eyes to find Stefan on the floor with Caroline, standing over his body.

"Oh, my God...Charlotte, are you okay?"

The brunette shook her head, stepping back, "No, no...I am not. I am not okay, Caroline."

Caroline shook her head at herself, turning to Charlotte, "Listen to me, you need to heal her, alright? You didn't anything wrong, you can fix this."

Charlotte covered her mouth with her hand, refusing, "No, I would hurt her...I know I would. I shouldn't have come back."

The blonde blinked back, "No, no, no, Charlotte listen to me. You taught me this, okay? You have control."

"I used to...I don't think I can do any of this anymore..."

✵ ✵ ✵

Charlotte managed to find Rebekah before they both went back to Paulina's apartment. The brunette sat on the couch, pulling her legs to her chest before she sighed, breathing in and out.

"What happened?" Rebekah questioned, looking over at her in concern.

"It's not easy, Rebekah," She looked up, shaking her head at herself, "I...couldn't walk back into my life without overthinking what I have done and what control I had is gone..."

The Mikaelson sighed, reassuring, "You can get that back, Lottie. It's—"

Charlotte interjected, shaking her head, "There's a lot of things I can't get back. Cassie...Oliver. His sister was minutes from dying today and I didn't know what to do...my mind shut off."

Somewhere along the way, tears were rolling down Charlotte's cheeks as she continued, "I look in the mirror and I don't recognize the girl staring back at me. I am not the same anymore and I don't know how to live like that and I don't want to."

✵ ✵ ✵