𝟒𝟖

a/n: Lottie's outfit for the chapter is above!

uhm...another fair warning, get a tissue box.

☆═━ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓━═☆

Charlotte got out of the truck, at last, being seated in the middle between Rebekah and Paulina. "So, we are here because Stefan's little secret isn't so much of a secret now, right?"

"Yes, yes we are," Rebekah nodded, folding her arms together.

"No, no," Paulina shook her head, replying, "They are back because of what Stefan failed to mention to them. You and I, though, Nah," She grabbed Charlotte's hand before pulling out her phone.

"What are you doing?"

"Ordering an Uber?" The Gilbert rolled her eyes, responding before Charlotte attempted to pull her hand back, only for Paulina to tighten her hold, "Nope, in your dreams. Miss I have no feelings, whatsoever."

Charlotte mumbled, huffing out, "What do you want Paulina? Are you ready to fail again?"

"Yeah...very much."

✵ ✵ ✵

Their uber ride stopped in front of Mystic Falls' infamous ice cream shop before Paulina walked out, tightening her jacket around herself. She turned to Charlotte, finding her frowning as she looked over at the place.

"Why are we here?" She asked, blinking back as the last time she had been here played in the back of her mind. No, this is wrong. I can't be here.

Paulina rubbed her hands together before shrugging, "You want me to lay off forcing emotions back into you? Fine, agreed but just give me this night and I swear to God, I will never try again."

"You are wasting your time," Charlotte chuckled, turning her back to the place before freezing in her step when her eyes fell over the bench right in front of the shop.

"Oh...that felt good but it...was freezing!!"

She shook her head, laughing aloud before an idea popped into her mind, "Oh, we should go to the kids' park! They brought in a new swing!"

Cassie frowned, looking up at the supposedly seventeen-years old girl walking next to her, "How would you know that?"

"Just because I am in high school doesn't mean I don't get to hang out in the kids' park. I have actually made a friend out of the security guy there," Charlotte shrugged her shoulders, nonchalantly, further surprising the youngest Bernard.

"How are you not the coolest teenager to ever live?"

Charlotte blinked back, shaking her head at herself before looking beside her to find Paulina sitting on the bench, with her hands in her jacket's pocket, "So...chocolate or mangu?"

She sucked in a deep breath, stating, "Stop getting inside of my head, it will get you nowhere."

"Your face actually begs to differ," Paulina rose to her feet, saying, "You feel that? Your chest tightening at the thought that you can never have this memory back? That you can never redo any of this?"

"I will tell you the one thing I feel," Charlotte started as the Gilbert sighed in relief before she continued, "Pity. I pity you with all of your pathetic meaningless attempts to get me to turn it back on, thinking that that would make us be friends again...but I will tell you something that we both knew since you came back to Mystic Falls but never had the guts to say it."

"You are a monster and it kills you every day that you have to deal with someone like me who has never experienced the pain that got you here," She exhaled before shrugging, "But here I am, your dilemma is over. Why don't you just move on with your life?"

"Because you are my best friend!" Paulina shouted back, shaking her head, "You might have forgotten that but I didn't. I will never forget that you are the only person who believed in me, who stood by my side."

The Bernard stepped back, scoffing out, "If I had known you were such a clingy friend, I wouldn't have."

The Gilbert sucked in a deep breath before nodding, "Well, I owe it to myself and to you to get you back to who you are because this is all my fault—"

She cut her off, laughing out, "How delusional are you? I kill my niece and turn off my humanity and you find a way to turn this all back to you?" Charlotte raised her eyebrows, "I mean I knew you are narcissistic but this is a new level, even for you."

"It is my fault," Paulina claimed, running her tongue over her bottom lip, "I made Klaus lock you up with Katherine because in my sick mind I was keeping you safe. I let you go, knowing you hadn't fed in days...I stood aside while your life was falling apart. This is my fault and I will fix it."

"How? By bringing me here for ice cream?" She mocked, wrapping her arms around herself before gasping as Paulina placed her hands on either side of her head.

"Depressing means...sad, really sad but people who go through that kind of sad...they are alone. You are not and you never will be."

"Did you ever go through that?"

"I think, at some point," Charlotte nodded to herself, admitting.

Cassie stood still for a few seconds before lunging at the vampire, embracing her as tightly as she possibly could, "Well, you will not again. Because I am here for you, too."

"Get away from me!" Charlotte yelled out, trying to push the Gilbert away from her.

Paulina squeezed her eyes shut, diving deeper into Charlotte Bernard's mind. It was not a long search. It was as if the memories laid there in the front, waiting for any chance for Charlotte to go through with them. Some brighter than others but they were all ones she never wanted to remember.

"She is your big sister, your second mother."

"No, you are."

Charlotte shook her head, pursing her lips in a straight line, "I love you a lot, I do but that place is strictly reserved for Serena."

"I don't care," Cassie shrugged her shoulders, "I gave it to you because you deserve it more. You deserve a lot of things," She folded her arms over her chest, recalling, "Our teacher, Mia, told us that the good people deserve every good thing. And you are good, you could win the good people competition if there were any."

Charlotte squeezed her eyes shut, failing to fight for control over her own mind.

"You are a very bright young lady, you know that, right?"

Cassie giggled, shrugging her shoulders, "I was just honest," She looked back on her drawing, "You think Char and Seerie think that, too?"

Paulina smiled, nodding, "I think everyone knows that." She sighed, looking over at her sketch, "What are you drawing?"

"It's a family picture. There's my dad, my Nana, Serena, Charlotte, and obviously Ginger," Cassie said, pointing to each of them as she named.

The Gilbert crossed her arms over the table, "Ginger looks a little like a horse than a cat."

"Well, I am working on it," Cassie pouted, stating before she shrugged her shoulders, "Char says she will help me with them...but she is always busy. So..."

Charlotte called out as Paulina stepped back, taking her hands off of her head, "No...no, what was that? You faked that...That never happened."

"It did, it's a real memory of mine," She confirmed, nodding.

"I want to see it again," Charlotte asked desperately, "Just show it to me again...I want to see Cassie."

Paulina was still processing the fact that for the first time in three months her best friend showed emotion. Charlotte impatiently and forcefully grabbed her arm to see the rest, "Let me see her!"

The memory faded back in. Paulina waving at Cassie as she walked out of her classroom and her teacher closed the door. Charlotte looked around, realizing where she was before she walked up to her niece's classroom. Standing at the see-through window.

"Wait, wait! Look at me!" She tapped on the window glass, calling out, "Cassie, it's me. It's Char...I am here, I want to spend time with you," Charlotte tapped the glass again as Cassie turned around placing her sketchbook in her bag.

She walked out of the classroom as Charlotte called out, "No, no, wait. I am sorry...Just wait!"

"No...," Charlotte shook her head, seeing Paulina standing in front of her with a readable sympathetic look all over her face, "I need to see her...Just make me see her again."

"...I can't," Paulina replied, swallowing a lump in her throat, "She is dead...That's the memory I have of her..."

Charlotte shook her head, starting to cry, "No...I didn't have enough time," She sobbed out, "I wanted to say sorry...I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to kill her..."

The Gilbert vampire nodded, "I know, Cher. She is still dead."

"I did this...this is all my fault," She dropped to her knees on the ground, "No, I killed Oliver, and then all those people, and I tortured someone...Oh, my God."

Charlotte was overwhelmed with emotions as she sobbed out, pulling her knees to her chest with her back against the bench, "I ruined everything...I ruined everything."

Paulina looked down at her, holding back her tears as she placed a hand over her mouth.

"It was all me...," She repeated over and over again, sobbing out as her mind played back memories of her own.

"So they went up to the sky? Like our dad?" Cassie questioned, leaning her face on her hand.

"Yeah, Cassie. They are in a better place with Dad," Serena answered, putting the spoon in front of her mouth to eat up.

"Why do all the people we love go to better places...why can't they stay here?"

Charlotte squeezed her eyes shut, screaming out in pain. Everything hurt so much. Things that she had done over the past three months could not stop replaying in front of her eyes but most of all, she couldn't stop seeing Cassie's face as she looked at her that day on the sidewalk before walking into her death.

She looked at her as though she was a horrifying abomination, a demon, a monster...and maybe she was.

Paulina kneeled down beside her, cupping her face in her hands, "I know everything hurts now but you will get through this. You are Charlotte Bernard, you are a fighter—"

Charlotte interjected, crying, "I am a murderer."

"No, no, you are not," She shook her head, claiming, "You are just lost...None of this was your fault."

"I know it hurts but I need you to focus all of those overwhelming emotions on one emotion? It will feel better, trust me," The Gilbert asked, raising her eyebrows, "Now can you do that for me...Charlotte?"

"Yes...yes, I can."

✵ ✵ ✵