Chapter 23

that's what her eyes looked like in the one scene with the nurse. They're also her "angel eyes" :)

hope these pics help with the visualization ;)

Oh, and I am seriously amused with the ships for this book.

Damn, and I thought people liked Angels... Lol

But guess what the surprise is?

....

It's

.............

Going to be at the end of the chapter!!!

Luv u guys!!!

-Michelle xoxoxo

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I pour some water on my face, the coldness relaxing me and cleaning my face of tear stains at the same time.

I really am a monster, aren't I?

I'm some terrifying demon/angel... thing, that needs to kill to survive and keep demons from escaping out of Hell.

I'm like the peacekeeper between the two worlds, but in a disgusting and ironic way. I kill people every day and night, and in return the demons don't break through the gates and kill everyone on Earth themselves.

I need to kill in order to save lives. How twisted is that?

But it kind of makes me wonder, you know? All these kidnappings I see and murders I hear about on television. Maybe they aren't just random. Maybe it's all a part of something bigger?

I mean, I know for fucking sure that I wouldn't kill someone if I didn't have to. But since I need to do it to survive... I really have no choice.

I know, call me selfish, think I'm irrational, but look at it through logical eyes.

Satan. Satan wants me dead.

Angels. Angels don't want me dead.

There has to be a reason for both of those.

I mean, if I'm not here- killing people to suffice demons- than... what about the demons? No one will be feeding them.

They'll break out.

And what about the angels? They keep telling me I can fight the demons. I can control myself. I can survive.

They also keep telling me to stay alive.

Why do they keep saying that? I'm half-demon. Shouldn't they hate me and want me dead?

They want me to keep the peace, so they don't have to start a war with Hell.

And if I change, turn into an angel or human instead of staying how I am right now, then what?

What will happen if there's no one doing my job? No one filling in for me?

Than the demons break loose.

Which is why Satan wants me dead and keeps trying to kidnap me.

So that he could try to take over the world.

Destroy the human race.

Obliterate the weaklings that live on this planet and have this whole globe to himself.

The only thing that's stopping that is me. I'm the flaw in the plan.

Solution: he kills he and takes over.

No.

I need to stay how I am. I can't change.

I understand my worth, even though it might not be the best type.

"See how easy it is to know things when you just try to understand them," I said to myself sarcastically, using the same line my mom would tell me all the time. Stupid bitch of a woman.

"Is talking to yourself a normal thing you do everyday?" I hear someone ask from the door to the bathroom, making turn off the sink faucet and slowly turn in their direction.

"No, is going into someone's room without asking a normal thing that you do everyday?" I replied with a glare, making Dayna nod slowly.

"Duh, dumbass," she answers flatly as she laid down on the bed, getting the glitter from her shirt all over it. My eye twitched as I stared at her, her little smirk making me want to strangle the life out of that little whore.

God, I hate her.

I mean, there are those times where she is nice and acting like a sister. But as soon as she does something nice, she makes up for it by being the biggest bitch in the world for the rest of the day. I can not stand her. She's always complaining, acting like she knows everything, insulting me, and pi-

I'm getting off topic.

"What do you want?" I said through gritted teeth as I closed my eyes and tried to think about anything but the mess on my bed.

"I want to know what is going on with Zach and you," she asked, looking at me suspiciously. "Were you guys researching something?"

"No, I just told him a secret that I found out a couple weeks ago," I said vaguely, making her eyes widen. She gulped and looked at the door, probably wanting to make a run for it. "Why are you-"

"How'd you find out you guys were adopted?" she blurted out loudly, voice full of genuine shock as she looked at me with big eyes.

"By listening to you say it just know," I said unsurely. This is the problem with her.

She's a good faker.

She makes anything look believable.

But, after I gave her my reply, I was pretty sure she wasn't faking. I could tell by her face- her expression looking like she was about to get a beer bottle to the head. "Listen, Michelle," she said, making me shake my head.

No, no I cannot believe this. I'm not adopted. They have baby pictures of me, from when I was two months old.

'It's not possible,' I repeated in my head over and over again.

"You can't tell mom or Zach this. My head will be on a platter if mom finds out I told you guys," she said frantically, making me take to clumsy steps back. Not liking that I made myself look like an idiot by moving clumsily, I closed my eyes and took a breath in- trying to calm down.

"I don't believe you," I said sharply after a while of trying to boost my confidence, making her look hurt before calming down and looking relieved.

"You really don't believe me?" she asked me curiously, making nod.

"I never believe liars like you," I stated, making her nod, her lips curving up suspiciously slow.

"Okay, good. That's even better," she chirped, looking at me with a relaxed-looking grin, before walking towards my door- a sway to her step. "I hope you have nightmares, bitch," she cooed in a bittersweet voice before slamming the door shut.

You know who she should date? Satan.

They're my fucking OTP.

"What the fuck is up with you! Why are you such a jerk to me? Is it necessary for you to throw insults at me all the time? Why'd you even come in here in the first place?" I accused after I ran and opened the door, just to see her already half-way down the hallway. She stiffened up at my questions and kept her back to me.

"I heard you crying when Zach left the room and Zach looked terrified, so I thought something happened," she said softly, relaxing after she said the sentence. "I wanted to help. I thought you guys found out about the adoption, and I... I felt bad," she stated quickly before speed walking down the hall, not looking back at me.

Still shocked beyond belief, I walked backwards back into my room and shut my door, resting my forehead on the door as I tried to grasp everything that happened today.

"You know, you take all this shit surprisingly well," Belial announced as he appeared out of nowhere two minutes later, a groan accidentally escaping my lips.

"No," I murmured sadly as I closed my eyes tightly. "No more visitors. Go away."

"Now, Michelle," he said, putting his hands on my shoulders comfortingly. "You can't push people away. Even if they are... worthless," he said, hissing out the last word and fighting his hold on me as he said it.

Worthless. Why does that word always pop into my head when I'm around him?

I puckered my lips as I thought about whether I should ask him about it or not, but my gut told me not to.

"Hey, Belial?" I said as I turned around slowly, very self conscious of myself now. "Do you think I'm a monster?" I asked instead, that question to me being the most important one to me right now.

"Michelle. I believe that everyone is a monster," Belial said seriously, tilting his head as he stared into my eyes. "Every one. Every human has a monster in their head. It just depends on whether they let the monster control them or not.

"The same is with you," he added after a minute of silence, making me look from the ground to at him. "You have demons in your head, telling you that right is wrong and wrong is right. But they don't matter. It's your choice. Your thoughts. Your strength. That's what determines your life and future.

"So, are you going to give in and become a monster on the outside?" he asked, making me stiffen. "Or can you hold it back, and fight for dominance with the things that are trying to control you and make you worthless," he said as more of a statement, his eye twitching as he said the last word.

Again. Worthless. How have I never noticed it before?

When he leaves, I'm researching him.

"Why do you always say that word?" I asked, not being able to hold it back anymore. A white flicker of light erupted in both of his eyes, telling me that he knew what I was talking about; and the reason was more than just a simple explanation.

"I... think we should talk about something more important than me right now," he said uncomfortably as he scratched the back of his head.

Confusion. Shock. I could feel those two emotions coursing through him rapidly, breathing it in like it was air.

He's not not used to attention. I could sense it. Something about this situation and him seemed to through me off. It's almost like he's so used to feeling stepped nonacid looked past, that any type of attention makes him seriously uncomfortable.

He's so used to feeling worthless.

Worthless.

'NO! HE'S SPECIAL! HE'S PRECIOUS! HE IS YOUR MASTER!' a voice in my head screamed into my ears, making my ears literally start to bleed. When I opened my mouth to scream the pain away I started violently choking, feeling like a bunch of spikes were being shoved deep down into my throat, going down further the more .

Tension started to build up in my head. My brain thumping crazily around in my skull as if it was trying to break out. My eyes were burning- as if salt was thrown into my eyes- while my body started to slowly paralyze.

"Michelle, stop!" Belial screamed, looking guilty and concerned, worried eyes trained on me. "Don't feel pity for me! Stop! I'm worthless! Say it!"

I couldn't talk, but I also couldn't say it in my head, so I decided to shake my head in reply.

I couldn't say it out-loud because, well, I was fucking choking.

But I couldn't say it in my head for a different reason.

He wasn't worthless. Every life is an important one.

'SHUT UP, WITCH!' the thing in my head screamed, making tears start to pour out of my eyes.

I started to cough violently, using the energy I had left to grip onto my stomach as I coughed my guts out. Not even half a minute passed before I started to uncontrollably cough out blood.

"Michelle, just say it, God damn it!" Belial screamed, gripping onto his hair like he didn't know what else to do with them.

'YOU'RE A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! YOU DESERVE TO DIE!' the thing screamed at me, making me cry as I coughed out blood. 'YOU KNOW IT TOO! YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE WORTHLESS AND A WASTE OF SPACE, SO WHY WON'T YOU JUST KILL YOURSELF ALREADY?'

It's right.

I'm worthless.

I'm a waste of space.

I need to die. I don't deserve to live.

Just those thoughts made me start to cough out even more blood. I was starting to get light-headed from all the blood I was loosing, feeling myself slowly going to sleep.

"Michelle, I know what you're thinking," he said frantically as took took a hold of my shoulders, not even blinking as I got blood all over his expensive shirt. "You think your worthless, but you're not Michelle. You're special, worth more than you think, okay?" he said quickly as tears started to pour out of his eyes.

'No!' the thing in my head said as my whole body jerked- my body practically frozen. All the pain felt me, leaving only a numbness.

A relaxing numbness.

"No. No, Michelle, no, stop," he sobbed, shaking my shoulders weakly. "I won't be able to live with myself if you do this. Stop thinking of yourself like that."

So this is what it feels like to be numb. To be empty.

I love it.

I bet it'll feel even better if I die. I'll always feel the same numbness.

'Yes, good girl. Good,  stupid, worthless, piece of shit girl,' the thing cackled, making me smile.

It's so nice to me. It treats me a lot better than I should be treated.

It's right. I'm a good girl for thinking like that.

I do need to die.

"Michelle, quit it. Right now," the guy in front of me sobbed out, making me furrow my eyebrows.

Who is he?

'You aren't worth his time. You never will be. You just want to kill yourself and get it over with. That's it,' the thing hissed in my ear, making me nod my head determinedly.

It's right.

"Michelle, wake up!" the guy screamed as I started to close my eyes- trying to go to sleep.

Just one little nap.

"Yeah. One little nap,' the thing cackled, making me smile warmly.

I love how much it cares for me.

"Michelle, please. I can't take another life because of my selfishness," he sobbed out, making me frown.

I made him cry.

My brother was right.

I'm a monster.

The thing's right.

I'm worthless.

I'm right.

I should die.

That thought made me feel a lot more relaxed and comfortable. I smiled again as I relaxed and let the thing take more control over me, ready to leave.

"Ariel!" the man screamed, making my eyes snap open.

Ariel. I know an Ariel.

"Ariel, help!" he cried out desperately, making a thought hit me.

Ariel.

He said he would always protect me.

He thinks I'm worth something.

He would be sad if I died.

'No he wouldn't. He wouldn't care. You're not worth his time,' the thing hissed as my back started to feel like it was being burnt.

No.

He's my guardian angel. He would protect me with his life and he cares for me.

My head started to hurt, feeling like a hammer was slammed onto my head repeatedly until it was broken into pieces.

'TAKE IT BACK,' it screamed at me, making me shake my head as I was finally able to open my mouth, screaming in pain not even half a second later.

"No!" I screamed as I gripped onto my hair, feeling like just by touching it I was ripping all my hair out of my head.

But when I tried to move my arms I couldn't. It was like they were glued to me.

"Ariel, help! It's Michelle!" Belial cried out desperately, making a gust of wind hit both of us and slam us into different corners of the room. Ariel materialized out of the ceiling and dropped to the ground, landing swiftly, but forcefully- causing the wind to happen yet again, but this time just press us against the door instead of make us fly around.

"Michelle!" Ariel yelled out in a protective way as soon as he landed, looking around rapidly, before finding me against the door, doorknob dented from when I was flung against it, my head slamming against it, only adding to my pain.

As soon as he saw me he ran to me, next to me without even half a second passing.

He was on the other side of the room before. No way was that speed normal.

"Michelle, you need to tell me to help you. It's the rules," he said as soon as got to me, face facial expression looking like seeing me in pain gave him pain.

"A-A-A..." I coughed out, not having enough energy to scream from the pain anymore. "H-H-... He...l....p," I managed to say, making him nod quickly before grabbing my shoulders, closing his eyes, and whispering something that not even my demon or angel hearing could pick up.

'MAKE HIM STOP! HE ISN'T SUPPOSED TO HELP YOU! HE'S KILLING YOU MORE THAN YOU WANT HIM TO!' it screamed at me, but I couldn't respond. I literally couldn't. All my energy was gone.

As Ariel whispered whispered whatever he was whispering the screams of the thing started to get muffled, as if it was being suffocated. After a while no more sounds came from it, and the only pain that was left was a throbbing in my ears from it's screaming and at the back of my head, where I hit the doorknob.

"Michelle," Ariel whispered weakly, seeing a tear escape his eye before my eyes closed without their permission, the blood loss and mental trauma being too much for me.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I let myself go.

I saw black.

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Yoooooooooo, you cheater, go read the chapter lol

I knew you would skip, lol

Comment if you skipped, tbh I would've too XD

Love you!!!!

-Michelle xoxoxo