Chapter 38

Nani Hirunkit

The cafeteria is still buzzing with noise when I return, but it feels distant—like I'm walking through a dream, detached from everything around me. My thoughts are tangled, my pulse unsteady.

I don't go straight to the table. Instead, my eyes search for Dew and Win, spotting them deep in conversation. I hesitate for only a second before heading their way.

"Hey." My voice comes out steadier than I feel. "Can I talk to you guys for a sec?"

Dew raises a brow. "Everything okay?"

Win glances at me, then at Dew, already picking up on the shift in my energy. "Yeah, of course."

I lead them toward a quieter corner, away from the others. My hands feel clammy, and I shove them into my pockets, trying to ground myself.

Dew is the first to speak. "You're acting weird. What's up?"

I take a breath, trying to find the right words. "I just met with Professor Prakit."

Win folds his arms, waiting. "And?"

I swallow. "He offered me a scholarship. A chance to study abroad."

For a moment, there's silence. A beat too long.

Dew's expression shifts first, his brows lifting in surprise before something like pride settles in. "Wait, seriously?"

Win's eyes widen slightly, his usual composure cracking. "That's huge, Nani."

I nod, exhaling shakily. "Yeah. He said my grades are the best in the class, and my English is good enough. He and some other professors talked about it, and I guess... they think I can handle it."

Dew lets out a low whistle. "Damn."

Win watches me closely, his expression softer now. "And how do you feel about it?"

I let out a dry laugh. "I don't know. It's... a lot."

Dew nods slowly. "No kidding."

"I mean, it's an incredible opportunity," I continue, my voice quiet. "But it's also terrifying. Leaving everything behind, starting over somewhere new... I don't even know if I want that."

Win hums, thoughtful. "It's a big decision. No one would blame you for feeling overwhelmed."

Dew crosses his arms. "Do you want to do it?"

I hesitate. "I don't know."

Dew sighs. "Well, do you not want to do it?"

I hesitate again.

Win chuckles under his breath. "That's a no to both, then."

I shake my head. "I just... I don't know what's right. It's such a big step. I feel like I should be excited, and part of me is, but another part is scared. What if I regret it? What if I'm not ready?"

Dew's face softens. "You're ready, Nani. If anyone can do this, it's you."

Win nods. "But that doesn't mean you have to. It's your life. No one can make this choice for you."

I let their words sink in, the weight of the decision pressing down on me.

Dew suddenly grins. "But if you do go, I expect postcards."

Win rolls his eyes. "And don't let Dew convince you to smuggle foreign snacks back for him."

I huff out a laugh, shaking my head. Despite everything, I feel lighter. Less alone.

"I just... needed to hear your thoughts first," I admit.

Win places a firm hand on my shoulder. "Whatever you choose, we've got your back."

Dew nods. "Always."

I breathe out slowly. Maybe I don't have the answer yet, but for now, this is enough.

I'm not alone in this.

-----------------

I tap my phone against the table, the nervous energy in my chest making it feel like it's vibrating. The decision weighs on me, a heavy pressure I can't shake. I glance over at Dew and Win, sitting beside me on the couch, their presence comforting but not enough to quiet the anxious buzzing in my mind. They don't say anything, just sit quietly, waiting. They know this is something I have to face on my own, even if they're right there with me.

I swipe the screen and tap my dad's number, the seconds stretching out before the video call connects. Dew and Win move a little closer, their eyes flicking between me and the screen as it flickers to life. The familiar image of my parents' living room comes into view, and my dad's warm smile and soft eyes greet me first.

"Hey, son. How's everything?"

I clear my throat, trying to push the tightness out of my voice. "I'm fine, Dad. Just... a lot on my mind."

My dad's expression softens. "What's going on? You don't usually sound this serious."

I force a small smile and glance at Dew and Win. They sit silently beside me, their calm presence grounding me, even without them saying a word. I turn back to the screen, my pulse quickening. "Actually... I wanted to talk to you both about something important."

Just then, my mom steps into the frame beside my dad, her face full of concern. "What's going on, Nani? You sound so serious," she says, her voice full of the warmth I've always known.

I take a slow breath, my hands a little clammy as I hold the phone. "I've been offered a scholarship... to study abroad." I glance up at Dew and Win, who lean in a little closer, offering me their silent support. They're so close now, I can feel the weight of their presence beside me.

My mom blinks, surprised, then a smile spreads across her face. "A scholarship? Abroad? That's amazing, Nani! You've worked so hard for this."

My dad's face lights up, his pride clear in his eyes. "I'm proud of you, son. That's an incredible opportunity."

I feel a little lighter at their reactions, but the knot in my stomach doesn't loosen. I look down for a moment, gathering my thoughts before continuing. "Yeah, it's... it's a great opportunity. But I'm not sure if I'm ready to take it. I don't know if I can leave everything behind."

Dew shifts beside me, his arm brushing mine. Win looks at me with understanding, their attention focused entirely on my words. Even though they're not physically on the call, it feels like they're right here with me. My parents exchange a glance, and then my dad speaks up again.

"Of course you're scared. It's a huge change. We understand. But Nani, this is your chance to grow. To experience something new. You've always been someone with big dreams, and this could be the step toward making them a reality."

My mom leans forward, her expression thoughtful, like she's weighing each word carefully. "You're capable of so much more than you think, Nani. I know this feels overwhelming, but you have the strength to do this. We'll always be here to support you, no matter what."

My throat tightens. I can hear the love in her voice, and it pulls at something deep inside me. I glance at Dew and Win, their faces soft with understanding. Dew gives me a small nod, silently encouraging me. I take a deep breath before speaking again.

"But what if I'm not ready? What if it's too much?" I look back at the screen, my voice barely a whisper. "What if I fail?"

My dad's voice is firm, but reassuring. "You won't know until you try, son. You have nothing to fear. If you fall, you get back up. That's how you learn. But if you don't take the chance, you'll never know what you could have achieved."

My mom adds gently, "Sometimes, it's okay not to have everything figured out. It's okay to be scared. But you have us. And you have Dew and Win, right there beside you. Whatever you decide, we'll support you."

I look at Dew and Win, my chest tightening again, but this time it's different. Their steady gazes are a reminder that I don't have to make this decision alone. I feel the warmth of their presence, even though they're just sitting next to me. Dew's hand lightly squeezes my arm, and Win gives me a soft smile.

"Thanks, Mom. Dad." My voice is thick with emotion, but I don't try to hide it. "I don't know what I'd do without you guys."

My father smiles warmly. "You'll always have us, Nani. But remember, this is your life. You have to follow your path."

My mom gives me a smile full of love. "You've always had big dreams, Nani. Don't let fear hold you back from chasing them."

I swallow hard, feeling my heart settle a little. I nod, though they can't see me. "I'll think about it. I promise."

The call goes quiet for a moment, and then my mom's voice returns, softer now. "We're proud of you, Nani. Whatever you choose, we'll be behind you."

I feel a lump in my throat, but it's not as heavy as before. The reassurance in their voices settles over me like a blanket. I nod again, my lips trembling. "Okay. Thanks."

I hang up the call, the screen fading to black. Dew and Win are still sitting beside me, their quiet presence filling the space. I exhale, finally allowing myself to breathe.