5. Do You Like Me?

Noah

By the time I made it back to my room, after brushing my teeth vigorously, Max had hung up.

But there was a text waiting for me.

Max: Give me a call when you're ready to talk about it, but please text to let me know you're ok.

Wow, Max never said 'please'. Unless he was talking to my mum.

I texted back.

Noah: I'll call you tomorrow. I just threw up. I must be coming down with something.

My phone buzzed right back.

Max: Yeah, you're loooove sick (laughing with crying eyes emoji)

Noah: Piss off

I threw my phone onto my bed, in annoyance, but I couldn't help the small smile at my best friend's stupid humour.

Shit, was I really love sick?

I certainly didn't feel the same sort of sick I had been in the past, where I had stomach ache and just wanted to stay in bed.

No, this sort of sick came over me all of a sudden, in a moment of sheer panic.

Because I had realised something. Something that both excited and terrified me.

I think liked Robin.

As in, I think I like liked Robin.

And I wanted to kiss Robin? Maybe...

I quickly rolled over and buried my face in my hands trying to wipe that thought away in case I was sick again.

But I didn't feel sick this time.

No, I felt excited. And a bit nervous. Because I was going out with Robin. Date or not, I was still getting to spend a large part of the day with him, and that was definitely something to be excited about.

What should I wear?

I jumped off the bed and started rooting through my wardrobe.

What do you wear on a date with a dude?

But maybe it wasn't a date. What if Max had got it wrong? What if he was just wanting to hang out with me as friends?

I flopped back onto my bed, my hands over my face, when my bedroom door opened and my mum poked her head in.

"Are you ok Sweetie?" she asked.

"Sweetie? Again? Really?" I asked, sitting up to look at her.

She shrugged. "It just feels like a sweetie sort of day."

I shook my head and chuckled at her. She always seemed to pick up on my moods, but I wasn't sure how. Magic mum super powers I supposed.

"I'm fine, honestly," I said, giving her my best 'I'm ok smile'.

"I know you are Sweetie," she replied, her eyes twinkling in amusement at the word sweetie. "But tell me, how did it go with Robin?"

"Fine," I answered quickly, and I focussed on the mess on my bedroom floor in an attempt to not think about Robin and start blushing.

"So did you ask him about Bradley?" she asked, and I sighed at the fact she wasn't going to let this drop.

"Yes, and he said he wasn't into him like that."

"Well, that's good isn't it?" she asked, almost hesitantly.

"I guess so," I replied in much the same tone.

There was a moments silence, and I thought the conversation was over. But then, of course she asked me the one question I really wanted to avoid.

"So what are you doing tomorrow?"

I could lie. But then she would find out. She always did.

"I'm, er, nothing in the morning, and then I'm going out with Robin in the afternoon."

I saw the look of surprise on her face, but it was only there for a second, before she looked like her usual calm self.

"So what are you and Robin doing?" she asked.

We may or may not be kissing and holding hands.

"I don't know."

I couldn't look her in face, so I picked up my phone to make it look like I was doing something.

After a moment's silence I heard my mum move.

"Ok sweetie, me and your dad are off to bed now. Don't stay up too late. You don't want to look tired for your...um...trip out with Robin tomorrow."

I snapped my head up, just in time to see her wink at me before she walked out of my room, shutting the door behind her.

Fuck, did my mum just wink?

What was going on today? It was like I'd woken up in an alternate universe or something. Maybe it was a dream. Maybe when I woke up in the morning it would be Friday again. Like Groundhog day. Always Friday.

I chuckled to myself then got into my PJs ready for bed. I'd already brushed my teeth and I'd have a shower in the morning.

I turned the light off then stared at my ceiling. A million and one thoughts started buzzing round my head, almost like turning the light off had woken them all up.

Did Robin really like me? Did I like Robin? What was going to happen on our 'date or not date' tomorrow? If he tried to kiss me would I let him? If I did, would that make me gay?

Yep, there was no way I was going to be getting any sleep any time soon.

I grabbed my phone off my bedside table and pulled up my games. I played some Candy Crush, then a bit of Minion Rush, then I evolved some Pokemon. But nothing I did could stop my thoughts from racing.

I even considered getting up and tidying my room to try to burn off some of the nervous energy. Yeah, that never got further than 'considering'!

Eventually I just ended up staring at my ceiling again.

Maybe tomorrow would be ok. Maybe we would just hang out together like two friends, and I'd end up wondering what all the fuss was. Yeah, Max was probably way off the mark. And that kiss? Maybe that was just a friend thing. It could have been...

My phone buzzed pulling me out of my thoughts.

I looked at my clock. 1:19 am.

There was only one person who would text me at this time.

I snatched up my phone and grinned at the name on the screen. I swiped it open.

Robin: There's a bloody owl sitting in the tree outside my house screeching like Abby does when Charile pokes her in the side. It's driving me insane!!!!!!

I was never usually awake when he texted me in the night. I bet he would be shocked to get a reply now.

Noah: Sing Despacito to it, that always scares me away! :)

Only a few seconds later my phone buzzed into life.

Robin: OMG you've got to be kidding! I know you're moved to tears everytime I serenade you with the Biebs.

I chuckled.

Noah: There's no arguing with the tears part. Just not so much moved, more like......haunted?

I couldn't stop the smile on my face as I waited for his reply. I didn't have to wait long.

Robin: I'm going to pretend you never said that. (crying emoji) Anyway, what you doing up at this time?

I knew he'd be shocked to get a reply from me. Maybe in the future I would leave my phone off silent so his texts might wake me up.

Noah: Just couldn't sleep. Too much buzzing round my head.

I knew as I sent it that I'd just opened myself up to further questions, but for once I didn't mind. Maybe if I could talk some of it out with Robin, I would finally be able to switch off and go to sleep.

Robin: I'm totally imagining a swarm of angry bees in your head right now! Anything I can help with?

I let out a big breath of air at that question. It was a good one. I'm not even sure I knew if he could help, or what it was exactly that was buzzing round my head.

I started thinking about tomorrow and the date/not a date.

I suppose I could ask him. I'd learnt from today that it probably wasn't the best thing to make assumptions, and that there was nothing wrong with asking for some clarification.

I carefully typed out a text.

Noah: About tomorrow. Was it supposed to be a date?

I read it back and frowned. No, it could sound like I was laughing at him. I deleted it and tried again.

Noah: Were you asking me out tomorrow, like on a date, or just as friends?

I still didn't like it, but I couldn't think of any other way to put it.

My finger hovered over the send button. Then I pressed it.

I jumped up off the bed and immediately started pacing to burn off my nervous energy.

What did I want the answer to be? I wasn't even sure anymore.

My phone buzzed and I immediately snatched it up.

Robin: Have you been speaking to Max? (Laughing emoji)

I screwed up my face. How did he know that? Wait! Was this some sick joke the two of them were playing?

I was about to text back, when my phone buzzed again.

Robin: It can be whatever you want it to be. I would love to go on a date with you, but if you want to just go as friends I would be happy with that too.

I read it again. And again. A sinking feeling slowly making its way into my belly.

Shit! I'd really walked into that one. Now it was up to me to define what tomorrow was.

That wasn't fair. I didn't want to have to make that decision. It was......wait....

Noah: I want it to be whatever you intended it to be when you asked.

I couldn't help but grin in triumph at that reply.

For the first time there was a long pause and no reply from Robin. I could feel myself starting to get anxious. What was he thinking? Was he annoyed by my reply?

I pulled up what I had just sent and read it. Had I just agreed to a date? I felt my stomach plummet. Would Robin think I wanted to go on a date with him?

My phone buzzed in my hand making me jump and almost drop my phone.

Robin: I intended it to be two friends just hanging out.

I breathed out a sigh of relief. No more worrying about tomorrow. I could just wear what I wanted! Maybe I could get some sleep now.

As I was about to reply, my phone buzzed again.

Robin: But just so I know. If I did ask you out on a date what would you say?

.....And the anxiety was back again.

How could I answer that?

I could almost hear my mother in my ear saying, 'honesty is always the best policy', which would be good advice if I knew what is was that I would say!

Would I be freaked out?

Yes.

But why? Would I be freaked out because he was a guy? Or just because I was being asked on a date? Or would it be because it was Robin?

I closed my eyes and pictured Robin. Robin with his hair that was always slightly too long for our 'school policy' but who always got away with it because of his ability to win over all the teachers with his smile. Robin whose piercing emerald green eyes were always sparkling like they were hiding something really funny, or staring right at mine, almost like they were looking into my thoughts. Robin who made me laugh constantly. Robin who made me feel like I mattered, like I was important to him. Robin who made my insides go squishy and made me throw up blue slushie.

My phone buzzed on my lap.

Robin: Should I take that as a NO? :(

Shit, how long had I been sat there for?

Without over thinking it, I typed my reply.

Noah: It's a I DON'T KNOW. Do you like me that way?

I knew that he'd mentioned that all his friends had asked him that very question, and I didn't want to be like them. But I had to know. And I think, unlike them, I had the right to ask after his previous text.

I chewed on my thumb nail nervously while I waited for his reply. Then I went to the loo, partly because being anxious made me want to pee, and partly just to give myself something to do.

When I got back to my room I snatched up my phone and saw I had a reply.

Robin: Can I come over?

I literally froze like a statue staring at my phone, just reading the one line over and over.

Then I slowly looked round my room, almost as if I was determining whether I could picture him here. Undetected.

My parents would be asleep, and they were heavy sleepers so I probably wouldn't have an issue with sneaking him in.

But did I want him here? It was one thing having this conversation over the phone, but quite another doing it in person. What if I threw up again?

But then there was part of me that did really want to see him. Heck, I always wanted to see him, wherever or whenever.

A shiver of excitement travelled down my body and I finally smiled as I picked up my phone.

Noah: If you want. You'll have to be quiet and text me when you get here so I can let you in.

I threw my phone on the bed and wiped my now sweating palms on my Pajama shorts. I scanned round the room, looking at it from Robin's point of view. I definitely needed to tidy up a bit.

My phone buzzed again so I reached over and grabbed it.

Robin: I'm glad you said that because I'm just walking up your street now.

I shot to the window and peered out. I could see the tall shadowy figure of Robin walking down the street about 100 meters away from my front door.

"Shit!" I said, quickly shutting the curtains behind me, my heart rate spiking dangerously.

I glanced down and squealed when I saw I was wearing my Pokemon pajamas. I quickly pulled off the top and scoured around my room for a plain t-shirt that could pass off as night wear. I found a light green one, gave it a quick sniff to check it was ok, then put it on. My shorts were plain black so I could keep those on.

By the time I'd thrown all my dirty clothes in my hamper and shoved all my other shit under my bed, my phone was buzzing again.

Robin: Are you coming to get me or what?

I didn't reply, choosing instead to quietly open the door to my room, and tiptoe down the stairs.

In hindsight it was probably a good thing that Robin had caught me unawares as it didn't give me time to overthink things and start panicking.

So it wasn't until I opened the front door and saw Robin stood there grinning that stupid smile at me, that I felt my chest get tight and knott of anticipation form in my stomach.

And there was just one thing going round and round in my head.

'What the fuck am I doing?'