Chapter 7

We walk out of Hot Topic, E.J. wearing a hoodie that actually fits him and after a bit of a row at the checkout, I finally won the argument and paid for both of us, which is saying a lot since we are both leaving with three bags filled with clothing each.

"If you keep on buying clothing like this we are going to be carrying very heavy when we start our journey to our next stop. We need suitcases in any case thanks to this shopping spree," E.J. says, a smile on his face, proudly sporting the Iron Man hoodie that I held up while I sang to him.

"Yeah well, maybe we should get ourselves a butler or something to travel with us. You know, someone who can do all the heavy lifting," I answer, looking around us at the shops, the money I have still burning a huge hole in my pocket, just asking to be spent.

"Don't be ridiculous," E.J. answers. "Let's rather just get somewhere to sit down. I need some coffee."

"I'm sure there's probably a Starbuck in here somewhere," I answer, looking over my shoulder as if expecting to see a Starbucks pop up that I missed as I walked by.

"I was thinking more something where we can just relax a bit. Maybe grab a bite to eat as well," E.J. answers.

"Or we can go back to the motel and order in before I spend every penny I have," I suggest. I don't really want to tell E.J. that I want to get the hell away from the prying eyes of people and that I have had enough of little girls looking at me for one day.

"Sure, whatever you want. I just need to get some place warm right now," E.J. answer. "And food will help a lot with that."

I smile at him, and I want to take his hand so bad. I think it's still about when he ran out on me earlier. There's a part of me that's scared that he would disappear again and that this time he won't come back at all, and I just cannot image that happening for a second. It has to be that, because I have never wanted to hold anyone's hand before. Apart from my mom when I was little off course, but that was different. In fact, holding your mom's hand doesn't even count.

"Cool. We can catch a movie or something as well and plan what we want to do tomorrow. I was thinking Empire State Building or something," I answer, pushing my hands into my hoodie pockets, letting the bags from Hot Topic dangle on my arm. At least it keeps my hands warm and will probably keep them from doing things they shouldn't be wanting to do.

"Just don't make it one of those gross horror movies you like and I'm in," E.J. answers as we walk into a sleet of frosty rain outside the mall, immediately drenching me from head to toe, the hoodies we just bought and pulled over our clothing leaving no shelter against the elemental forces of the New York weather.

"God..." I mutter, looking up and down the street, hoping to see a taxi and at the same time trying to tie the shopping bags together so that the water won't go inside and wet everything we have just bought. "It's a good thing you made me buy those pyjamas I didn't want. I think I might need something warm and snuggly when I get home."

"Told you so..." E.J. says through clattering teeth while I notice the huge Christmas tree outside the mall. Somehow I didn't see it when I walked in. It's like I forgot its Christmas time all together.

"I don't think it will take our families too long to know we are actually missing," I say. A frown forms on E.J.'s face, his eyes quizzical.

I point toward the tree.

"Christmas is only a few days away," I tell him, already in my mind wondering how we will spend Christmas. Last Christmas was the worst for me. I was in between foster homes, sitting on my bed in a group home, opening a package that was crudely wrapped containing a toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, and some other essentials. Don't get me wrong, I was grateful, but it wasn't Christmas at all.

"Which means I have to get you a present," E.J. says ignoring the fact that I was actually referring to his mom finding out that he is nowhere near Chris at this stage.

I stick up my hand, trying to hail a cab, but for some reason they speed past one after the other as I am getting wetter and wetter with each passing moment. I can actually feel E.J. standing closer to me in an attempt to steal some body heat which I no longer have either.

"We are so not getting a cab," I say through clenched teeth as yet another cab speeds by and E.J. stands closer still. I want to suggest going inside the mall and getting an Uber, but my want to get into a hot shower keeps me from going inside again and rather makes me step further into the street, this time throwing up both arms in an attempt to stop a cab, knowing full well that they might be driving past because I look like some robber in a scary mask.

"Let me!" E.J. yells and before I can even answer him he is standing next to me again, waving his arms above his head as another cab speeds by, pretending that he didn't see us.

It takes a further four cabs before one finally stops and I run to climb into the cab before it decides to speed off again.

Barely able to give our address to the driver through the chattering of my teeth, I huddle up against E.J. hoping to produce some warmth between the two of us, but not even the heater in the cab blowing at almost full blast makes a difference as we speed down the road, the mall turning small behind us and the cabbie playing some outdated Lady Gaga song while he hums off tune to her voice.

"We can't say we didn't just have an adventure," I giggle to E.J., mist coming out of my mouth.

"And we are soaked to the bone," he answers, giggling back.

I don't really know why on earth we are giggling at all. Maybe it is because of the cold. It could be that the cold has seeped in so deep that it is affecting our brains.

"We should have kept with your plan and looked for a restaurant," I say. "Sorry about that. I was just kinda over being stared at."

"I get it. It sometimes feels to me like people are staring at me all the time. As if they can see what I have been through in life. Almost like I am wearing my scars on the outside like you. The difference between you and me is that I just feel like that. You can see when someone stares," E.J. says, pulling his hand from his pocket and touching my arm, making chills run through my already overly chilled body.

I pull my hand from my pocket and put it on top of his, wanting him to know how much I appreciate that he is still here for me after everything.

"If you really want to look up James' brother I won't stop you. I'll actually go with you if you'd like," I say in an attempt to make everything better before we reach the hotel. I don't want us to fight at all anymore. E.J. is all that I have in this world at this point. "But I also need a favour. There is someone I would also like to look up at some point. Not here... She lives somewhere in Connecticut."

E.J. frowns at me for a moment before his face relaxes a bit.

"Sure. Who's there?" he asks.

"I have a grandmother that lives there," I answer, still wondering why she never showed up when my mom died. Sure, I haven't met her before, but you show up when your child dies. You try your best to rescue your grandchild. Maybe I also have someone I would like to blame for what has happened to me?

"We can go there," E.J. says as the cab comes to a halt in front of our motel. E.J. jumps out of the car and speeds to the entrance while I pay the driver. I take two deep breaths, steeling myself against the cold outside before I sprint for E.J. and the promise of a warm shower inside our room.

Just as I almost reach E.J. he gives a loud laugh, jumping into the elevator, jamming the close button as many times as he can, and even though I run as fast as I can, bags hitting against my leg, I am just a second too late to stop the elevator from closing its doors and starting its accent upwards to our room.

"Asshole," I smile as I run for the stairs, sprinting them up two at a time in order to get to our floor first, but no matter how fast I run, it seems like the elevator really just wanted E.J. to win, because when I get to our floor he is standing in front of our door, his arms crossed, a smile wide on his face.

"You are an asshole," I repeat the words I couldn't say to him because the elevator door closed.

"Yes, but I am a sexy one," he laughs as I pull out the card that I tap against the door to unlock it. "And face it, you needed the run, because now you will feel a bit warmer."

I couldn't argue against that. I do feel a bit warmer, but now that he has mentioned it I can feel my cold clothing against me once again.

"I just need a shower now," I say as I untie the packages and pull out the clothing that we have bought. I grab my Superman pyjamas E.J. has bullied me into buying before I dart into the bathroom, beating E.J. this time, but also immediately feeling bad that I have done so, opening the door again and looking at him. "You can go first."

"No need," E.J. says picking up a bag and walking toward me. "We can both go in there. There's a bath and a shower you know. Just give me a minute to draw a bath first before you get into the shower."

For a moment I don't know what to say. The last thing I want to be is naked in the same room as E.J. but with our predicament it does probably make sense to do it this way as well, before we both catch a cold.

"Are you sure?" I ask looking at him as he opens up the hot water tap, making mist appear as the bath runs. "I mean... I can wait."

"It's fine Brody. I trust you," he says with a smile as he adds some bubbles to his bath and pulls the wet hoodie over his head.

I can't look away as he pulls off the one wet piece of clothing after the other, taking each piece and carefully hanging it over the towel rack to dry as much as it can. When he gets to his jeans I look away, not wanting him to see me stare and wondering if I shouldn't rather wait to shower before he sees the stirring in my pants and will never again trust me.

When I hear the tap close and him getting into the water I keep my back turned to him as I start stripping, although I leave my clothing in a wet bundle on the ground before I jump into the shower and turn the water on.

"I take this as a personal win," I hear E.J. saying.

"What are you taking as a win?" I ask a little confused as the warm water starts hitting my back, almost painful in their heat against my cold skin.

"This. Being able to undress in front of someone. I haven't been able to do that... since... Well, I just haven't trusted anyone enough at all..." he says. I can hear his voice breaking and hope that he isn't going to start crying. I don't want him to be sad anymore, but somehow I just know that both of us still have a fair amount of tears in front of us.

"I'm glad," I answer, but I actually want to tell E.J. that he should never trust me, especially with the fact that my body is reacting in a way it has never reacted and I wish I could turn my dick off, or rip it off just so that I could trust myself as much around him as he trusts me.