Chapter 38

Walking through the house with its tall ceilings, creepy portraits, and obvious history, I feel small in comparison. It's a different type of small than standing next to the Empire State building or the Statue of Liberty. You expect those things to be real. You expect and understand the history connected to it, but this is something different. What looks like a house from the outside, opens up into a museum that stretches on forever, leading you past Civil War uniforms in glass cases, stuffed grizzly bears, long red persian carpets, and black and white pictures of people who has long been gone from this earth. The problem however is, that you feel unwelcome in this house of ghosts. This house is not meant for the living. It belongs to an almost forgotten century, long dead.

"You can't call this a house," I whisper to Cameron. "It's more like a palace."

"You kinda get used to it. Lady Lalaland loves the stairways. They make for perfect Insta photos," Cameron answers with a grin. "And yeah, these old houses are really something else completely. Kinda makes me feel like I am the Queen in Buckingham Palace."

"You can say that again," I mutter under my breath as I walk past yet another huge ass portrait with a man on a horse. "Looks like your in-laws fought for the South..."

"Yeah. They are kinda old-school. Well, not really old school, just an old family. Wait till you meet Grace. You are gonna love her!" Cameron squeals, making me jump a little bit. It seems unnatural that a loud voice might be allowed in this house. "She's like our age, but she is gonna be my mother-in-law. I have gotten an awesome shopping buddy."

"Grace..." I taste on the name. "She sounds a little stuck up."

"Not at all. Don't let her name fool you at all. She is a descendant from old voodoo practitioners that came from Haiti somewhere in the 1800's. She says that it is only fair that she gets to live in the riches that her people built with their sweat and tears," Cameron answers as we walk past yet another military uniform in a glass case, before he opens a door to the left.

Cameron half runs into the room, and falls down onto an antique daybed standing in the middle of what seems like a tiny sitting room, with three doors leading from the room.

"Welcome to my boudoir," Cameron says, throwing his arms above his head. "If you go through the South door, you will find my bedroom, which leads to my own walk-in closet and a bathroom. The West door is my own personal office. The East door goes to my sex dungeon where I think I might have to lock you up."

For a moment I try and register what I have just heard, playing Cameron's words over again in my mind to make sure I heard correctly.

"A sex dungeon..?" I ask. "It's official. I always knew rich people were all insane."

I gulp as I watch Cameron get off the daybed and walk over to me.

"It will be for your own safety handsome. You were naughty and obviously you cannot be trusted to run wild," Cameron whispers in my ear.

"You're being serious?" I ask with hesitation thick in my voice. I try and study Cameron's face for a sign that he is only joking, but he seems more serious than ever with one eyebrow raised slightly.

"Off course I'm not you douche!" Cameron shouts in my face and then gives me a push, before turning around and walking over to a cabinet against the wall, which he opens up to reveal a little bar fridge where he takes out a cider. "For fuck sakes Brody! Are you completely off your mind? Fucking around with Chris? The guy is a nutter by the sounds of it, and then you go and play footsie with him. Of all the completely stupid things you could have done, this is the worst by far. I ask again, what the fuck were you think..."

Cameron however doesn't finish the sentence as he rushes over to the other side of the room where Albert is sniffing against the leg of an antique Queen Anne sideboard.

I watch him as he picks Albert up and brings his face to be inches away from him.

"The two of us will be watching 101 Dalmatians tonight," Cameron coos to Albert with the sweetest possible voice, his harsh words he just shouted at me completely gone. "And you will learn about Cruella DeVil, a mostly fabulous woman who lives her life in the art that is drop-dead gorgeous fashion. Sure, she makes some questionable choices throughout her life, but let's be honest, being that beautiful can drive any woman a little bit mad. But baby, what I am getting to - I will skin you and wear you if you pee against my fabulous Queen Anne. Okay?"

Almost like Albert understands every word he gives Cameron a little smooch, making Cameron giggle and hug him tightly before he makes his way to the door that leads to the dungeon, which he opens up to reveal a small dining room, which in turn leads out to a little balcony.

"There you go," Cameron says as he puts Albert down and ruffles his ears. "You can pee against any of those plants. They are butt ugly in any case."

Cameron then turns around just as Albert lifts his leg against one of the potted plants, walking back inside and sitting down as the dining room table that seems to only take four chairs.

"Sit," he says, showing me the chair opposite him. "And tell me what the fuck you want out of life handsome? Because not to be mean, but you are screwing it all up at the moment, and I don't think you know why the hell you are doing it."

I sigh as I sit down at the table.

"I think I want to be with E.J."

"Well it doesn't fucking look that way handsome. It looks like you are set on destroying any kind of trust or faith E.J. has in you, making sure he will drop you like a bar of soap in a prison cell," Cameron says as he pushes his hands through his hair that is now coloured in a bright aquamarine blue.

"I don't know," I admit. "I want to be with E.J. but then I went and saw this psychic who said I was going to do something with Chris... And then Chris was all cute and vulnerable, and I just saved Albert... Things just kinda happened from there onwards."

"Well I am always cute, when I am not Lady Lalaland I am vulnerable and I own Tarot cards. Plus I am being nice to Albert on top of that. Does that mean I need to ask Will if his family has a chastity belt somewhere in the attic that I can borrow before you decide to sleep with me as well?" Cameron asks.

"It's not like that," I answer, but I can't help but think about the kiss Cameron and I had back in Connecticut, just once again proving that I am very bad at making decisions about my lovelife.

"I am going to ask you again; what do you want handsome? Do you want to be with E.J? Are you in love with him? Could you stand to spend the rest of your life with him? Can you accept him with his past? Or is Chris the one you want? Do you want the dangerously wicked bad boy with the drama and the hair that doesn't move in the wind? Because you can't have both. It's one or the other," Cameron says. "Think about it while I go get my cider. Do you want one as well?"

I nod and watch as Cameron gets up from the table and leaves to go and fetch something to drink for the two of us.

In the few seconds that Cameron is away I think about what I want, and as he sets the cold cider down in front of me, I know what I want.

"I want to be with E.J. And I want him next to me for the rest of my life," I hear myself saying.

"Well, why the hell are you telling me that?" Cameron says as he takes a drink from his bottle of cider. "You should be on a phone, telling the person you love that you cannot fucking live without them. And you tell them that you are just as flawed on the inside as what you are on the outside, but that you will do whatever it takes to fix it. And then you put your money where your mouth is and fucking fix it. Life is short, and E.J. is a fucking catch. He's not going to wait for you handsome. He can have anyone he wants. And I can promise you that Chris already knows this, and he will probably be the one trying to comfort E.J. after your betrayal. He planned all of this."

"I hear you," I say, looking down at my hands, almost ashamed to show Cameron the regret in my eyes.

"But are you listening?" Cameron asks. "I'm going to meet up with Grace, and when I come back I want to hear that you have spoken to E.J. And you do not react if he freaks out. He has the full right to do so."

I nod my head and watch as Cameron gets up from his chair.

Only when the door closes do I pull my phone out of my pocket.

I hesitate before I dial his number, believing that he will never take a call from me again.

The phone however only rings twice.

"What the hell do you want?" E.J's voice rings from the other side. He doesn't sound angry. He sounds heartbroken and as if he had been crying, which makes me feel even worse about everything.

"I need to talk to you," I say probably the dumbest thing I think I have ever said. I would not even be mad at E.J. if he slammed the phone down in my ear at this very moment.

"I trusted you. I can't believe you practically raped Chris. I mean what the fuck? He said he wasn't going to go to the police, but taking advantage of him while he was sleeping, and on top of that, drunk... You are not the guy I thought you were. I thought that after sharing with you what I have been through that you would never do something like that," E.J. sobs into the phone. "I mean sure, he maybe didn't say no, but just because he wasn't capable of saying no, it doesn't give you the right to do what you did. It's fucking rape Brody!"

As I listen to the words I am at a loss at what to say. Nothing of anything Chris had said was the truth. E.J. has been led astray by what happened.

"Wait!" I shout into the phone. "You have it all wrong!"

"No Brody! You do not get to speak right now. Right now I get to say what I need to say, because you can be sure that this is the very last time I will ever take your call. After this conversation is done I will delete and block you. I never want to see you again. I never want to be with someone who could do something like what you did to someone else. I just needed you to hear that. To know that I hate you and that it would never change," E.J. says, and this time I can hear the sobs ripping through his body making my heart break into a million pieces, and also making me want to climb on a plane and kill Chris.

"E.J. You need to listen to me. None of this is true," I whisper into the phone.

"Yeah, that's what James said as well. It wasn't rape. It never was. We made love. I wanted him to do all those things to me. And now I have put a monster into the flat of my best friend. Tell me Brody, how am I supposed to live with myself? How the fuck can I not hate myself for asking Chris to help you and then having that happen to him? How do I sleep at night, knowing that because of me, my best friend went through the exact same thing I did? You are a fucking monster Brody! I should have never tried to make you want to live. You should have just stuck with your list and killed yourself. You don't deserve to live."

E.J's voice breaks on the other side.

"If you would just listen to me. To my side of the story..." I manage to get out, also feeling the tears welling up in my eyes as the lump in my throat grows larger with each passing second.

"I don't want to listen to your side of the story Brody. So just let me go. Don't phone me again. Just... don't."

I hear a tone in my ear, knowing he had ended the call. I phone again, but the subscriber I have dialed is not available anymore. The message I type that I love him doesn't go through. It took E.J. all but a few seconds to block me out of his life forever.

I walk back to the sitting room area and take a pen and a notebook out of my bag. I rip a page from it and return to the table I was sitting at.

Try to make sure that E.J. knows I love him. Write the longest letter I will ever write. Nothing about this is his fault. He needs to understand that.

Make sure that Albert is taken care off. He deserves the best life ever.

The End. Or something like that.

I read through the list a few times, lost in my own tears and sadness.

"Not a fuck!"

Cameron's voice makes me jump. I never heard him come into the rooms again.

"There is no fucking way you are killing yourself on my watch. Seems we might need that sex dungeon after all handsome," Cameron says as he pulls me up and allow my face to find his shoulder and wet his pink shirt that must be more expensive than everything put together that I am wearing today.

A/N: First of all I would like to send Seasons Greetings to everyone. I know I am a little bit late with a post for Christmas, but I have had to rewrite the last part of Brody's story another two times over the past 3 months, and I am finally happy with the ending and where I decided to go with Brody and E.J. As they say however, rather late than never.

There are still a few chapters left to be posted, which will happen over the next few days. I know you would all be fine with me spamming them all at once, but I would like to take just one more look at each of them before I post them.

Once again, a Merry Christmas to those who celebrate, a Happy belated Yule, and Seasons Greetings to anyone celebrating another holiday. I hope you will all get some rest before 2023 pops up and gives us another run for our money.

And as always, thank you for sticking with me, Brody, and E.J. through thick and thin. The story is almost as its close, but I know from experience that you guys will keep them going for many years to come. Thanks to all of you. Your reading and dedication to these characters in the past year is the best Christmas gift I could have ever asked for.

All my love,