Chapter 26

A/N: It is finally here after yet another very long hiatus from me... And I am sorry. I have just been through a lot in the past few months and I did the hermit thing where I stayed away from social media, including Wattpad. I also didn't write for months now, so hopefully I am back to wrap up "Behind the Mask" since I am really excited to get to the ending. Once again, sorry for taking so long to update. A lot of my dreams for the future had been shattered and I had to come to terms about many things. One of them accepting that I will never get married and have the beautiful wedding I had always dreamt off. But then again, that's just the way the cookie crumbles, and I am trying to be thankful for the things I do have in my life, even if it doesn't include a lot of people anymore. Went on a proper detox and deleted a lot of people from my life, and I am very thankful that I have done that. So yeah... Here goes... A new chapter, and you will be happy to know that I am already more than halfway through Chapter 27 as well, so I should be able to post that soon. I really feel I need to bring Brody's story to a close as soon as possible, and now that I have a lot more free time, I am sure it will happen sooner than what I thought it would.

I know the difference between right and wrong.

I know I do.

But why do I keep on making the wrong decisions over and over again. Why, when I know what is right, do I do the complete opposite, getting myself, and especially my heart in the biggest trouble ever.

I can't look away from E.J. He offered to get us some more sodas, and off course as luck would have it, he would fall into a huge conversation with Harry, the guy in the suit. The one that recoiled at my face. The one that in one moment made me feel like I could actually be the handsome guy I was back in the day, and the next second I was the gruesome monster, or the poor guy that needed pity. I didn't stay to find out which one of the two he would be going for, and I really don't care. But at this moment I struggle to listen to Cameron in his high heels and wig, making jokes from the stage. I don't care about Harry and what he thought of me. The girl with the veil who took pictures with me is long gone from my mind, and as E.J. seems to laugh at another of Harry's jokes, the only thing on earth that I want is to get the hell out of here.

I have always used music to drown out the lonely sound of silence around me, and yet, here I am, wanting nothing more to be somewhere quiet. Somewhere so thick with silence that I can touch it. I have had this feeling once before. Only once. It was the day my mom died. It felt like the music that I tried to cover my sobs with was suffocating me. Drowning me. Like I would never be able to break through the noise of others into a surface where I can breathe again.

"You okay?" the girl with the veil shouts as me, but instead of answering her, I just shake my head and start backing away slowly. I see her looking down, probably wondering if I want to puke and whether she should maybe stand back, but she seems to give a weak smile as I back up faster than what she can think to move away from me.

I look over to E.J. one last time as Harry puts his hand on E.J's shoulder, without E.J. pulling back, but rather leaning in, his ear close to Harry who says something and makes E.J. laugh once again.

I can't help but think of the list in my backpack, somewhere behind the club in a parking lot in Cameron's RV. I was crazy when I wrote it. Nobody ever completes a bucket list. That's something that only happens in movies with B rate actors and small budgets. Usually a movie with a little miracle in the end where everyone is fine and happy. Truth is, the real world doesn't quite work like that. The perfect guy doesn't always get the perfect girl. You don't always get the great job and the house with the white picket fence just because you studied your ass off in school. Dreams don't always come true, because we don't live in Elsa's perfect world of Disney where the entire world is frozen the moment things work out and we can just live happily ever after.

No... Sometimes things work out for the worst. Sometimes the perfect looking guy doesn't end up with the girl he wanted, but rather falls in love with a guy he can never be with, and will never love him. That guy might in any case be so confused that he would probably never admit to loving the boy he fell for in the first place. Maybe the guy that worked so hard at school got his face burned away and gave up on going to college, knowing that now he will never own the house with the white picket fence, or earn the big paycheck. Sometimes you find that Disney will never be real and that we live in a world full of Freddy Kruger's, Saw, and Scream. That the end will either be you dying, or losing everyone you love, and you then have to live with the trauma of this horrible thing that people call life.

I inhale the cold air as deeply as I can, letting my chest expand with every breath I take. Sucking in the oxygen as if each and every breath will be the last one I take. And here is hoping to that, although I don't think I will be that lucky. Things I want rarely come to me that easily in any case.

"Hey, dude!" I hear a voice behind me, which makes me stop breathing and rather start pumping my feet, getting away from whoever is behind me, getting away from the club, and most of all trying my best to get away from the dark corners of my mind that seem to follow me wherever I go.

I hear the gravel crush under my feet, knowing I am walking into a direction of which I have no idea of where I am going. No phone on me, no money, nothing they would be able to identify me with if a stranger would get hold of me, dragging me down a dark alleyway and leaving me there without breath in my lungs.

"Seriously dude! Wait the hell up!" the voice shouts behind me again and I hear the footsteps increasing in speed.

For a moment I think about breaking out in a run at full speed, but instead I stop and turn around, closing my eyes as I do.

"Just fucking do it! I don't have anything for you to steal, but just fucking kill me and get it over with!" I shout as loud as I can. On the one hand I hope nobody hears me. Who cares how I die in anycase. Sure, I hoped it would have been at my own hand, but let's face it; I might just chicken out at the last second. On the other hand as I hear the panic in my voice I am hoping that I am loud enough for someone to hear me, for someone to come speeding towards me and save me from what might be a horrible death.

"Dude!? What..? Dude?" he gasps as I hear him halt in front of me. "Seriously dude?"

I allow myself to open my eyes. First just a little bit, and then all the way.

"You followed me out of the club," I accuse, the anxiety in my body pushing my voice ever higher.

"Yeah dude. And? You looked like you're gonna be sick. So I came out here to check on you," the guy says, allowing mer a moment to look him up and down again. With Harry standing on my other side I barely had a chance to look at him, but who would not recognise standing next to someone wearing a leather jacket with a huge Hogwarts crest on the back.

He took a moment to run his hand through his sandy hair which looks as if it must be totally uncontrollable, even on a great hair day, and even though it's too dark to really make out his eyes I know they are light, transparent almost. The rest of him seems to be swallowed with everything you can imagine from Harry Potter. The jacket, the shirt underneath it, the shoes, and even the jeans, all seem to sport some form of the boy wizard and his world somewhere across it.

"You're a Harry Potter fan," I say, feeling a little bit calmer now that some stranger doesn't have a knife to my throat, marching me into the alley next to the club.

"Yeah," he says as he gives a little laugh. "It's usually a great convo starter, but you seemed more into the guy with the suit. Until your little reveal that is."

He gives another laugh and pushes his hand through his hair again. Potter would have been proud to know that there was actually a muggle out there who could fully sympathize with unruly hair that didn't seem to want to stay flat or in position.

"You saw my face?" I ask, almost moving my hand to remove my mask, but then deciding against it. I don't need to see more pity, or worse someone recoiling from my face. "Why the hell did you follow me?"

"Cause I thought you were with the other dude. The emo looking one. And then you left alone and I didn't get a chance to get your number. I mean dude, seriously. But seriously. If you are more into dudes in suits it's cool. I get it. I know I'm nerdy," he says, looking down at his sneakers.

I can feel a dizziness together with a wave of relief coming over me as I take a step closer to the sidewalk and sit down on the cold stone.

"If I smoked, this would have been the moment that I would be lighting up," I say as I reach out my hand to him. "I'm Brody, and I am fucking relieved that you're not some killer trying to get me."

"You never know dude," he says as he takes my hand, giving it a small shake before sitting down next to me. "I might just be hiding an ax underneath this jacket."

"I don't exactly picture killers wearing Harry Potter clothing from top to bottom. I'm curious, is your socks and underwear HP as well?" I ask, giving another one of my nervous laughs.

"Socks, yes. Underwear... Well, I would like it if you wanted to find that out yourself," he answered wiggling his eyebrows up and down, obviously trying his best to look sexy, but failing horribly at it.

"How bout we start with your name?" I ask.

"Will. It's actually William, but I can do with just Will. I always wanted a name with two syllables. Like in Har-ry," Will says, clapping his hands to demonstrate. "But my name isn't exactly into it."

"You could try Li-am?" I say, clapping back at him.

"Nah dude, my uncle is Liam. That would suck. I know Will is common, but at least I'm the only Will I personally know," he says, pulling his face in a very disgusted manner.

"I'm Brody. It's short for... Brody," I say, allowing a smile to play over my face, wondering what he would do if I take off my mask and allow him to see my whole smile.

"Bro-dy," he says, clapping. "Two syllables. Like Har-ry. Maybe it's a sign? Maybe we were meant to meet here under the cloak of darkness, away from blundering music. You get what I'm saying dude?"

"Seriously dude..." I answer, mocking him just a little bit. "If you say dude one more time, I might dude you right out of here."

With that a smile breaks over Will's face.

"Wanna take a seat with me? The curb looks comfy enough..." he says, walking over to the nearest street lamp and plopping himself down, patting the ground beside him.

"You don't sound Canadian..." I say as I take a seat right next to him.

"Texas, born and bred. Little bit o' country here... A lot of leather there... You know. I'm all like spitting like a man, riding horses like a man. I'm all man!" Will says, bringing his arm up, and making his biceps bulge.

"Then where is the country twang?" I ask, struggling not to giggle at how silly he is being. I'm also now really looking at him for the first time since our very shocking encounter where I thought he might end me.

"Nah dude... Seriously. I'm not like Dolly Parton or something. Think of me as the boy whose parents came from Las Angeles and didn't fit in with the Southern bunch. I might have been born there, but it doesn't mean I need to sound like I'm from there. However... I can put on a twang for you if you are more into riding cowboys."

Will starts moving his eyebrows up and down again, and I really now get that this is his way of wanting to make himself more sexy. Again it doesn't work, making me just want to laugh at him even more.

"What makes you even think I'm gay?" I ask, making him drop his eyebrows and open his mouth.

"Well... Well... Seriously... We were in a gay club?" he mutters.

"And maybe I was there with a dragqueen friend who is performing tonight?" I answer, allowing a slight smile to play over my face.

"So... So?" he stumbles over his words, looking me in the eyes, a worried look on his face as he starts to frown. "I read wrong?"

I think about it for a moment. Is he really wrong? I have only been attracted to E.J., but I did kiss Cameron. And I can't help myself from wanting to kiss Will. But would I be kissing him because I actually like him, or would I just be doing it because E.J. is probably kissing the guy with the suit inside the club?

"Brody!"

The sound of his voice floating down the street towards me snaps me out of every thought I might have been having, making me look up and know... Certainly know, without the sliver of a doubt.

"I'm not straight," I whisper to Will before I get up from the sidewalk and start running towards E.J. who is running towards me as fast as his skinny legs can carry him.