Chapter 25

"Hell! You're amazing!" I say bursting into the dressing room where Cameron sits, pushing probably hundreds of dollars into a bag without even counting it.

E.J. is right behind me, but I don't give him a chance to get to Cameron first as I grab him around the waist and lift him up into the air,twirling him around.

"I've never seen anything like that!" I shout over the loud music coming from the stage where no doubt the next drag star is already performing the next number.

"Whoa cowboy! Put me down! You will ruin my make-up and I have two more numbers coming up!" Cameron yells, but as I put him down his face is pulled into a wide smile, a laugh coming from the back of his throat.

"Yeah, you were amazing!" E.J. shouts just loud enough for us to hear from behind me, making me turn around and look at him again.

I have been struggling quite a bit to keep my eyes off him tonight. There's just something electric about him. Maybe it's the Pikachu shirt making him look more alive, but I can swear there's something in his eyes... A different way of looking at me. Almost like he is seeing me for the first time as well. Like I haven't truly been part of his world just yet.

"Come here Brody. Let's leave Miss Lalaland to get ready for her next number," E.J. says as he takes me by the arm and pulls me toward the door.

"That's Lady to you. Not Miss!" Cameron shouts back with a high pitched laugh, stuffing some more bills into bags as I follow E.J. back into the club where the red and purple lights make everything seem like a dream land.

"Something to drink?!?" I yell at E.J. over the noise of the club as we make our way back to the stage.

"Just a cola," he shouts back and I carefully look at where I leave him, next to some girls, obviously having massive ass fun. The one is wearing a veil, which tells me this is definitely her bachelorette party, and her girlfriends seem to be enjoying the drag queens on stage just a little bit too much.

I laugh as one of the bridesmaids pushes the bride to be closer to the stage, making her veil fall off onto the stage, which she quickly grabs before the black stiletto heels of a drag queen can stomp on top of it.

"Bloody hell, I'm glad I'm not a chick right now. Just imagine how intimidating it must be to look at a six foot tall guy doing a better job at being a woman than you," a voice laughs in my ear, making me turn.

The red lighting around the bar makes it difficult to see the colour of his eyes and hair, but I decide immediately that it must be red, or red brown, and that his eyes have to be light of colour.

"Yeah, can you imagine? I honestly have no idea how the hell anyone can walk in heels, let alone dance in them!" I shout over the music to the stranger while I look him up and down.

He seems normal enough. Actually handsome in a way. Not exactly what I pictured coming into a club. I guess I just thought that everyone would be in jeans, but this guy is dressed in a black three piece suit. White shirt, tie, and all.

"Oh no. My cousin once put me in heels. Needless to say I didn't make it down the stairs on my feet," he says, giving a laugh, and this time I also notice the heavy British accent.

"I can only imagine," I try to laugh with him, searching the crowd to where E.J. is, letting my eyes stop on him where he is posing for a selfie with the girl wearing the wedding veil. His laughter makes me smile. I don't think I have ever seen him this happy.

"Your boyfriend?" the stranger next to me asks gesturing over to E.J.

"Nope. Just friends," I answer as I turn back to the bar and order two drinks.

"Would that mean I might stand a chance with a dark, handsome stranger?" he says leaning in so I can hear him clearly.

I feel myself freeze completely. I don't think I have ever been in a situation like this before in my life, let alone with another guy. Maybe if it was E.J. saying this I would blush, or do something completely stupid and giddly, but I rather look down to my feet, refusing to meet the eyes of the stranger.

"I'm Harry by the way," he says holding out his hand to me.

I can hear the music fading out behind me as I take his hand in mine.

"Brody," I almost whisper as a drag queen dressed up as Marie Antoinette comes onto the stage, making jokes and insulting the crowd, making everyone in the club laugh hysterically.

"Nice to meet you Brody. What do you say we head over to the other side of the bar? I could get us into the VIP room so we can get to know each other in a less noisy environment," Harry says, his hand leaving mine and then finding its way to my lower back where he lets his hand rest for a minute while I struggle to pull money out of my pocket to hand to the barman who has finally brought the drinks I have ordered.

"Can't. I'm here with my friends," I mumble, and I am sure he can barely hear me, but to be truthful I just want to be left alone.

I already know how all this will go. He will take me to the VIP area and we will have a chat. Probably hit it off, or something like that. And then he will ask about the mask. First he will get that look of pity in his eyes when I tell him why I wear a mask. The pity in his eyes will tell me many things, like how glad he is to not be me, and how happy he is to have great parents, or whatever. I know how it goes. I have seen it with many girls before. Sure, he will tell me that it doesn't matter. That it is the inside that counts. He will take my hand in his. I might even see some tears in his eyes. And then there will be the final reveal. The moment he asks me to take off my mask. At first I will be reluctant to do so, but at the same time I will become more and more trusting as he tries to show me he isn't like everyone else. That looks don't matter. Then I will remove my mask. I will see the shock, and then I will see the disgust. He will pull himself together fairly quickly. So quickly that the moment of horror I have noticed on his face will be instantly gone, making me wonder if I have imagined it, whether I have just thought I saw it because that was what I was expecting from him. For a while we might sit and chat. He might still hold my hand. His eyes will dart over my skin, where the monstrous part of me has taken over. After a while his phone will go off according to him. He needs to pick up his mother. Family crisis. Dog that died. A friend in need. I've heard all the excuses. He will make sure he saves my number in his phone, ensuring me that he will text me tomorrow, but I will never hear from him again. That's the full story of my romantic life.

"Sorry, I can't hear you. That's why I want to get us out of this noise," he says, smiling at me, his hand pushing me a little bit on my back as he faces me.

"I can't. I'm really not your type," I answer loud enough so that Harry can hear me above the Marie Antoinette queen introducing the wonderful Lady Lalaland to the stage.

"Oh, I think I am pretty sure what my type is," he answers, flashing a brilliant white smile, that almost makes my knees want to go weak.

"And I am sure you don't," I say, putting down the drinks on the counter behind me and turning back to him.

In one swipe I pull the mask from my face, revealing the horror that lies beneath. And just as I had expected I see the disgust on his face before he almost immediately gathers himself.

"I'm... I'm... I didn't know... Sorry. It doesn't matter though. What a person looks like on the outside," Harry stutters, making me shake my head as I put my mask back on and turning around to take the drinks from the counter once more.

"I don't expect you to pretend that you're interested out of pity after seeing that. You're free to hit on the next cute guy who comes by," I answer as I walk away from Harry, leaving him and his red hair, Italian suit, and gaping mouth behind me, wanting to disappear, be anywhere but here right now.

I can see Lady Lalaland perform from the corner of my eye. I know E.J. took his drink and planted a little kiss of thank you on my cheek. The girl with the veil takes a selfie with me. Tells me how awesome my mask makes me look.

But I don't register what's going on around me.

My eyes are still on Harry at the bar, just as his eyes are on me. Will this truly be the rest of my life? The pity. The petty excuses. My face being the only thing that defines me as the horror I know I am, with only a hand full of people ever seeing the real me?

I know I have no future. My days to come are not lit up by lights in a club. It looks dark like the alleyway behind the club. Sure, they might still occupy almost the same space, but they are so far removed from each other as what the Sun is from Pluto. And I'm Pluto. I don't shine. I just shrink, getting smaller with every passing day. Freezing over, becoming the type of person who would probably never be able to love anyone truly, always wondering, always suspicious that they might only pretend to love me out of pity...