Chapter 14

The frost crunches beneath my feet as I get out of the bus, my bag and the two sleeping bags that I bought at the camping place in New York over my shoulder, and I am starting to regret leaving the metal jungle for this remote space with all its snow.

"And you want to sleep under the stars in this weather?" E.J. says almost as if he could hear my thoughts, his teeth chattering on each other.

"Yeah, maybe not such a good idea," I mutter as the bus pulls away behind us, making the sludge of snow spill over my feet.

"And the bus is gone," E.J says as he swings his bag over his shoulder and starts walking down the street. "Now there is no way we are getting out of this one horse town until tomorrow."

"There's a caravan park just up the road. A resort or something. Maybe we can get like a room," I answer as I start tracking behind E.J. wishing that it really was the city and that we could hail a cab to take us to where we want to be.

"Yeah, or a motel, although I doubt this place has one. A bed and breakfast maybe, but this seems like the type of town that would be 'full' when a punk rocker kid and his sidekick with the plastic mask were to show up."

I chew on E.J.'s words for a moment, imagining a frail old lady opening the door and then again shutting it quickly when she seems an unlikely pair standing outside. It would be hilarious if it wasn't this cold and we needed a room so badly.

"Did you just call me your sidekick?" I ask.

"Yeah, my sidekick. Let's be honest, I'm here saving your ass from yourself. I should be making all the decisions. I mean, look at where you got us," E.J. says but his smile makes the comment light and I know he doesn't really mean it.

"Let's just head for the resort," I say bringing out my phone and turning on the GPS for some directions. "It looks like another two miles to the closest resort, but on their review it says they have a restaurant there and I'm starving."

"Then we better start moving before we freeze in this spot," E.J. says, picking up the pace, making me almost run after him with my frozen, wet feet.

For over an hour we walk, not saying a word to each other, shifting our bags from one shoulder to the other, and then back, our teeth clattering, the only sound heard between us, until we finally get to the entrance of the resort.

"Now this looks cosy," I say, making E.J. snort at the sign that has seen better days with its peeling paint and lost letters.

"Anything would look cosy right about now, and I need a warm bath," E.J. answers with a frown, making me take him by the arm and march him into the door where the sign for reception is located.

"Oh dears!" a woman shrieks as we walk in the door, making the bell above the door ring almost as loud as her voice. "You two are frozen solid! Did you walk here all the way from the North Pole?!"

She chuckles at her own joke, making me put pressure on E.J's arm to keep him from telling her off.

"We're just looking for a room for a few nights," I say to the woman. "We just got in from New York."

"And what are you doing on this side of the world? And in this weather?" she asks as she walks around the counter.

"Why not ask for our lives stories?" E.J. whispers, making me take his hand and squeezing it tightly before we need to walk further for accommodation.

"Just on a road trip ma'am. On my way to visit my grandmother," I answer the first acceptable thing I think she might understand.

"Aww, well that's so cute. And I have some good news. We have another tenant here you might know," she says, making E.J's eyes widen. She bends over the counter and adds in a whisper; "He's also gay. Name is Cameron."

"Yeah, because every gay in the USA know each other by name," E.J. says loudly this time pulling his hand from mine and crossing his arms in front of him. "What makes you think we're gay in any case?"

"Oh dearie," the woman gasps. "You're not..? But you were holding hands..?"

"It's okay ma'am," I say loudly, trying to put myself in between E.J. and the woman. Doesn't matter at all. We get it all the time. We would really just like a place where we can warm up and have a good night sleep."

"Well... We do get a few stranger people like you out here all the time. Like with the mask. The other boy came in here wearing a dress. Quite fond of stranger people myself. Keeps things interesting," she says as she begins scribbling in a book. "The main house has seven bedrooms with a bathroom for every room."

"That's fine," I say also starting to speak through gritted teeth and giving E.J. a look which I hope translates to him having to be very quiet right now.

"And it's ninety dollars a night for a double room. Unfortunately all the single rooms are booked already with Christmas and all. I can give out two rooms and discount it to one sixty. The house was built in 1814 you know. One of the very first in the town. Everyone comes here for the history. A while back we had some kids here filming for supernatural activity," she says with glee and looks around the reception room almost as if a ghost will be walking through the wall at any moment.

"A double room will be fine for the two of us," E.J. says behind me as he moves from behind me and starts counting out ninety dollars in the cash I threw him with back in New York. "I think actually..."

He keeps on counting until he gets to one hundred and eighty dollars before he puts the last few notes back into his pocket.

"Always so good to have visitors paying in advance. Why don't you sign in and I will get the keys and go and show you the room," the woman says as she grabs hold of the money and disappears through a door behind the counter.

"Do you need to be that rude? I don't want to walk another hour or two searching for another place to sleep," I whisper as I take the pen and start filling in our details. "I am wet up to my knees already."

"I'm sorry Brody. She just really annoyed me," E.J. answers from beside me.

"Well let's just suck it up for a few more minutes. These are small town folk. This is their version of being nice," I answer as I make my signature at the bottom of the page of the book just as the woman comes back in.

"Where are my manners? I completely forgot to introduce myself. I'm Annie, and this here is Annie's Resort. The swimming pool is a little frozen over, but we have bonfires every night here in winter, and we roast the best homemade marshmallows. You two have to join us tonight. I promise it will be a treat! During summer you two should come back and then you can camp in the little forest at the back even," she says as she hands me a set of keys with a very large keychain made of wood.

"I'm Brody, and this is E.J.," I answer, not knowing what else to say after all of that.

"Such lovely names. Now let me show you boys around," Annie says, leading us into the old house that seems to be where we will be spending Christmas.

When we finally get to the room and close the door behind us E.J. is the first to run into the bathroom, starting to pull off his wet clothing, throwing it over the old radiator.

I sigh, wishing I could also get out of the wet clothing, but I also want E.J. to get warm. He's so small that I sometimes fear that he will break. Better let him warm up as soon as possible before he catches a cold.

I walk up to the old radiator, standing as close to it as possible to get some heat while I hear bath water pouring into the bath.

"Are you joining?" E.J. asks, sticking his head out of the bathroom door.

"I didn't see a shower," I reply, cocking my head a little bit and pulling off my beanie that seems to also be a little damp.

"There isn't, but the bath is huge. Didn't you see the feet of the bath? It must have been put in like a hundred years ago," he says, his cheeks still flustered red from the cold.

"You want me to get into the bath with you?" I ask and immediately I feel a stirring in my pants and a guilty feeling in my stomach.

"Yeah, why not? It's fucking cold, and we need to warm up like now. It's not like we haven't seen each other naked before. Think of it like being in a Jacuzzi. I added a lot of bubbles," he says with another smile before dashing into the bathroom again, and within minutes I hear the water stop and E.J. getting into the bath.

"Fuck! Fuck! It's fucking hot!" E.J. exclaims making me eager to feel the hot water burn against my cold skin, taking the winter away and letting me relax again.

I start taking of my jacket, putting it on the radiator next to E.J's clothing.

"Are you coming?" E.J. yells from inside the tub, sounding more alive than he has the whole day.

"Just a sec," I answer, taking off my mask and throwing it onto the bed before I take off all three shirts I have been wearing over one another along with the hoodie.

I stare down at my body and once again admire the way it looks. It looks so perfect. The pecks, the six pack. It's all still there almost like nothing ever happened. Everything looks the same, from the neck down. It's only the insides that has changed. When the acid hit my face, it also hit my heart and it changed me. It showed me so many things, and here, knowing what is stirring in my underwear, I know that an experience like mine can change a lot more. It makes gender fall away. It strips away the illusion I had of sexuality and makes me realise for the first time that none of that actually matters. Love doesn't happen because of the genitals of another person that you like. It happens because you find someone willing to love you, no matter what you look like on the outside. They only give a damn about what it inside. The shell doesn't matter.

I take a big breath before I pull down my jeans along with the wet shoes and socks, standing there in my underwear, straining a little bit. I know that it's now or never.

I walk into the bathroom, where only E.J's head is sticking out from above the bubbles, making him look like a child. He giggles when he sees me.

"I can't take a bath with you," I say, walking over to him. "I just can't do it to you E.J."

"Why?" he answers, sitting up, exposing his shoulders and catching me in his eyes.

"Because I'm just a guy. A normal guy. And I have hormones and stuff and my body doesn't always want to listen," I say, feeling the part of me grow that I really don't want growing at the moment.

"You've got a hardon?" E.J. asks, but he doesn't look down to see for himself. He keeps his eyes focussed only on me.

"Yeah," I answer, feeling the blush on my cheeks. "And I can't help it. I haven't... like... I haven't wanked in a while. Usually I do... I think it's catching up to me."

E.J. keeps staring at me and finally his eyes drop to where my manhood is hard enough to peek out the top of my underwear. He keeps looking at it, but he doesn't say a word.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask after a while, wanting so badly to reach out and touch him, but keeping my distance.

"No," he says simply. "I just... I didn't quite expect you to be so big."

When he says it I feel even more cold than what I did out in the snow. It's the last thing I ever expected from him.

"I thought you'd be mad at me?" I ask, moving closer and sitting as far as I can from him on the edge of the bath.

"Why would I be mad? I've been walking around with a woody for like, two days already. I'm also a guy in case you haven't noticed," E.J. says giving a very shy little smile, making his face go an even darker red than what it already is from the hot water.

"Okay... That's good. Want me to leave so you can take care of it? Then I can come and take care of mine when you're done with your bath?" I ask, getting up from the end of the bath and walking towards the door.

"Brody?" E.J. asks, making me turn around again. "I trust you."

I look at him, cocking my head to the one side.

"I don't understand," I say.

"I'm saying I trust you. I don't have an issue with you being a guy. I just don't want to be touched, that's all. So if you want... It's just if you're comfortable enough being in a room with a gay guy with a woody... Get into the fucking bath, okay?" he answers, looking away from me and at the wall.

"You want me to stroke one out while in the tub with you?" I ask, my mouth falling open.

"No!" he says, his face toward me again. "I'm saying take a bath. That thing will go down in a while. I know mine will."

"And if it doesn't?" I ask as I drop my underwear, feeling E.J. looking me up and down as I walk over to the bathtub.

"Then you take care of it later, okay?" E.J. answers. "Now just get in and get warm before you catch a cold."

When my foot touches the warm water I shiver all over my body, feeling the heat burn against my skin as I slowly lower myself into the relaxing warmness of the water. I know I should relax, but having E.J. so close to me, and knowing that his body is doing exactly what mine is doing keeps me on edge the whole time, and even when he gets out and leaves the bathroom I do nothing. I don't touch myself. I ignore it. I will keep my promise to myself and never use E.J. in that way. Never. He has been through enough and already made enough sacrifices for me.