Chapter 15
Collide
After another hour of aimless wandering and an hour of driving around sightseeing, I finally make it back home.
I bid Honora goodbye and quickly step inside before she can remember another tale she wants to share.
Honora is a wonderful woman, she reminds me of my mother in some ways, but right now, Iâm starving and I canât wait to see Roman.
As I step into the house, itâs pitch black. I sniff the air and frown.
Roman was just here, why would he be sitting in the dark?
The aroma of food wafts towards me, and I follow it.
On the dining table, at least twenty different candles are burning brightly.
Roman is standing next to the table, a soft smile on his face. I smile back, but itâs forced.
Seeing him only brings back the image of how he must have looked when he lost Acallia.
âShe told you.â Itâs not a question, but a statement, yet I nod in confirmation. Romanâs face falls instantly, and he turns to walk away.
âYou canât just walk away from me. Not now. We need to talk about this.â He spins around and stares at me in one swift motion.
âWe donât need to talk about anything. This is none of your business. I am your mate as you are mine. Thatâs all there is to it.â I roll my eyes at him.
âI know this is hard for you to discuss, but itâs affecting us. So it is my business, and we are going to talk about it. Sit down.â The vein in his forehead throbs again, but he does sit down.
âThank you. Not just for having this conversation with me, but also for all of this.â
I spread my arms to indicate the surroundings.
The food under the silver bowl smells delicious.
I lift it up a bit, trying to sneak a peek at whatâs underneath.
Roman clears his throat, and I quickly retract my hand.
Despite the tension in the air, he smiles.
This time, I return his smile genuinely.
âYou can eat.â His voice is amused, and for a moment, I can almost see a future with this man. Us, sitting at the table every night, teasing each other. But my thoughts soon turn melancholic.
âShe was a hero.â I say quietly. I look down at my plate, filled with different kinds of meats, a side of salad and potatoes. I can feel Romanâs gaze on me.
âIf she hadnât killed those rogues, who knows what damage they could have done. She was a hero.â
This time, I look at Roman. The candlelight makes the tears in his eyes glisten.
âEven though it hurts, her memory should be one of heroism. Not one filled with hate and pain.â
Roman continues to eat in silence, but I know heâs listening to me.
âIâm sorry your heart was broken, Iâm sorry you lost her and a part of yourself that day. Iâm sorry that life has been so cruel to you. But I donât feel sorry for her.
âShe fought, she chose to fight. She didnât hide. This is what she wanted, to protect her people. To protect you and her brother. She is a hero. And she always will be.â
I pick up my fork and start to eat. For a long time, thereâs nothing but silence.
âAll this time... I was consumed by pain, helplessness, hatred towards my father, hatred towards the world. I never once thought of her the way you just did.
âMy selfishness never honored her. Not when she was alive, not now that sheâs gone.â
I glance at him through my lashes and see a single tear escape his eye. It takes all my willpower to stay in my chair, but I donât want to scare him off.
âThank you. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for shedding this light.â I hear his chair scrape against the floor and look at him. He picks up his plate and takes a seat next to me.
âThank you for understanding why you canât possibly be a warrior. Why I canât go through that again.â Wait, what? What just happened?
My muscles tense and I stop chewing. I swallow down all the meat in my mouth at once.
âIâm not going to quit being a warrior.â Instantly, annoyance flashes across his face again.
âShe died a hero, she died doing something instead of being locked up in a tower watching others die. I will never be that wolf, I will never be that witch.
âI will never be able to live with myself. If the time comes and Goddess hope it doesnât, but if the time comes that I must fight, I will. I canât stand on the sidelines.
âWe will be the king and queen of not just this pack but all the wolves. We will take an oath to protect them, care for them, and help them.â Roman stabs his fork into the expensive-looking dinner table.
âI am your Alpha, I am your Prince. Without me, you hold no title. You will do as I say. If I have to lock you in the dungeons, I will. This is non-negotiable, Katelynn. It never was, nor will it ever be.â
Iâm so angry I can already feel the flames in me trying to burst out.
I put the knife down, afraid that if I keep holding it, I might end up stabbing my own mate.
Instead, I grab his hand, tingles spreading up my arm.
âDo you feel that? Thatâs the bond flowing through us. The bond thatâs supposed to make us love each other, respect each other, see each other as equals.â I pull back my hand.
âIâm truly sorry for what happened, but Iâm not her. And if youâd rather have her, you should have thought about that before you marked me. As long as you donât respect me, I wonât respect you.
âRight now, youâre acting like a spoiled pup. Well, guess what? Iâve fought for what I want my whole life. Iâve already been through all this with my father, being belittled because Iâm a woman.
âBeing denied what I want because of someone elseâs fear. I donât care what you do, but Iâm going to continue doing what I was born to do.â I stand up, my chair falling backwards.
âIâm beat,â I say, brushing off Romanâs pleas as I exit the room. My feet carry me upstairs, tears blurring my vision.
I dart into Romanâs room, snatching up a few clothes and my charger. I sprint down the hallway, spotting a guestroom with a lock. I secure myself inside, collapsing onto the bed. My tears soak the pillow as I let myself cry.