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Chapter 73

73

delicate

I felt his hands tighten on my waist as I kissed him harder. I moved my hands to his neck.

The knock on the front door pulled a groan past his lips. I pulled back from the kiss and sighed. "One hour. That's all I want."

He slid his hands to my thighs. "Ignore it."

I shook my head. "They'll just walk in."

They started knocking nonstop. "Evelyn," Elena's voice carried to my ears.

I kissed Oliver's cheek before moving off of his lap and making my way to the front door. I yanked the door open, putting my hand on the doorframe. "What?" I looked at Elena, Bonnie, and Caroline.

"Bachelorette party," Bonnie reminded me.

I sighed, "Do I have to?"

"Do you have anything better to do," Caroline laughed.

I tilted my head. "As a matter of fact, I do."

I started to shut the door, and Elena pushed against it, pushing the door from my grip. "Come on, Ev," Caroline pleaded as she grabbed my arm, pulling me toward her. "It's your first bachelorette party."

I furrowed my brows. "And my only."

She giggled as she stepped closer. "Which is why you should be living it up instead of backing away from it."

I tilted my head, "I can't leave Oliver alone tonight."

They all glanced at each other. "He won't be," Bonnie stated as she looked at me. "Let's go!"

Elena and Caroline pulled me to the car, following Bonnie. We ended up at a bar where Elena handed me a few shots and urged me forcefully to drink them. After a few hours of getting drunk, Bonnie convinced the driver to take us to the Grill to sober up enough for the hangover to absolutely wreck me tomorrow.

I lifted my head, keeping my eyes closed. "I have to puke." Their words blended together as I got up. I rushed to the bathroom, dropping to my knees and throwing up. I pulled my hair back, keeping my hands at the sides of my head.

It seemed like it was over, and then I started throwing up again. I felt someone's hands brush mine as they pulled my hair back. I felt their other hand rest against my back, sliding to my waist. I breathed out slowly as the urge to throw up subsided. I felt the hand in my hair move to the side of my neck.

"Are you okay?" Kai's voice filled me with dread.

I hummed in response. After a moment of assuring myself I was completely done, he helped me to my feet. I involuntarily leaned into him, resting my head against his chest. A sigh left his lips as his arm wrapped around me and his hand moved to the side of my face, holding me against him.

"Can I take you home?"

"Mhm," I answered. I wasn't completely sure what I was saying yes to, but I trusted him.

I felt his hands grab my hips. He guided me out of the Grill and into his car. I heard him talk to Caroline before we walked out. I leaned forward in my seat, resting the top half of my body on my legs and crossing my arms over my stomach.

"Why did you get drunk?"

"Caroline made me." I sighed. "Remind me to kill her in the morning."

"But you're getting married."

I groaned, "Of course I am." I felt tears in my eyes. I sat up and pushed my hair behind my ears. I breathed out shakily, trying to keep myself calm. "I'm getting married tomorrow."

He reached over, taking my hand in his. "Hey. Everything will be okay."

I shook my head as I wiped the tears off my face. "No, it won't."

"What are you talking about? Of course it will."

I let my eyes shut as I huffed out a breath of air. "No. This wasn't supposed to be my wedding." I felt the car stop. "I wasn't supposed to walk alone, and I wasn't supposed to have a wedding that was planned in two weeks. My mom is supposed to be here to give me away, but she's dead. I should feel like this is going to be the best day of my life because it's supposed to be." I opened my eyes and looked at him. "Everything's supposed to be perfect, and exactly the way I want. But it's not. I'm not supposed to be marrying..." I stopped before I could finish the thought. Being drunk is the worst.

"Evelyn." The look on his face made me feel nauseous. I can still feel his hand wrapped around mine, holding me gently.

I pulled away from him, rushing out of his car. I started toward the door of the boarding house. I felt Kai's hand grab mine, stopping me from walking any further as he stepped in front of me. He rested a hand at the side of my face.

I breathed out shakily. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head. "It's okay."

I felt more tears filling my eyes. He pulled his hand from mine and wound his arms around me, pulling me into his body to hug me.

This was the last thing I expected out of this night. It's the last thing I wanted.

...

Last night feels like a blur, and it kills me that I can't remember anything after drinking with Elena. I'm unsure of how I got to the lake house, but I'm fully clothed, and I don't feel sick, so I think that's a good sign.

My phone started ringing. I searched for it, finding it on the nightstand beside a glass of water and ibuprofen beside it. I grabbed my phone and answered the call from Caroline.

"Where the hell are you? You were supposed to be here an hour ago!"

I shut my eyes. "I'll be there soon, Caroline."

"Hurry!" She ended the call before I could ask about last night.

I sat my phone back down and took the medicine, drinking some of the water.

I took a shower before leaving the house. I drove to the founder's hall and parked the car. I grabbed my phone before getting out. They were setting everything up for the ceremony that was only three hours away.

Caroline appeared in the doorway with the phone to her ear. She rushed over to me and grabbed my arm, pulling me with her to the dressing room.

The next two hours were spent dressing me. After my hair, she helped me with my dress, then did my makeup.

She stepped back to let me walk to the full view mirror. It felt like something out of a fairytale, then a horror story. I'm getting married. I'm about to tie my life to another person. Somehow, this feels like the riskiest thing I've ever done.

"Evelyn?"

I took a deep breath. "Yeah?"

"Are you okay," she asked as she stepped closer.

My blood was rushing to my head. "I don't know. I think... I need a minute."

Before any of them could say anything, I walked out of the dressing room. I found the closest exit, making my way toward the open air. I started walking away from the house, finding myself on the bridge where I once stood, watching Ryan start to die for the first time. I stood there for a few minutes, watching as people started to show up.

"Evelyn."

I shut my eyes, bowing my head as I sighed. "You're not supposed to see me."

Oliver walked closer, stopping a few feet from me. "How do you know if I'm looking at you?"

I lifted my head as I opened my eyes. "I can feel it."

He was quiet for a minute, "Well, you look perfect." I looked at him after a moment, letting my eyes find him. "What's going on, babe?" He leaned against the railing, propping his arms on it as he kept his eyes on me.

I shook my head, "I just needed some air." I looked at the railing as I rested my hands side by side.

"Are you sure that's all?"

I furrowed my brows, the tone of his question making it seem more like an accusation. I looked at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Are you having doubts about this? Getting married? Marrying me?"

"Oliver," I turned my body to face him. "I love you, and I want to be with you."

"That wasn't my question."

My throat felt like it was closing. "I want to be with you."

He turned his body to face me. "I know you love me, and I know you want to be with me, but I don't think I'm the only one." He stepped closer, looking deeper into my eyes. "I've seen the way you are around him, and I know you think about him. I don't want to be an option for you. I don't want you to settle for me just because you can't have him."

"Oliver, don't do this."

He tilted his head. "I love you, Evelyn, but I can't be what you need."

"How do you know what I need isn't you?"

"Because I know you. You'll live the rest of our lives comparing me to him and wishing it was him, and I can't live with that."

"No," I shook my head. "I love you!" I cupped his face in my hands, "I want you, I want to be with you." I gasped softly. "I don't understand. Why are you saying this?"

He put his hands on mine. "I need you to want me the way you want him, and you can't do that." He shook his head as he pulled my hands to his chest. "I love you so much that it hurts, Evelyn, and seeing you love him more than me is killing me. I want you to love me that way, and it's not possible. I'm letting you -"

"No." I pulled my hands from him as I stepped back. "We're supposed to be getting married, Oliver."

"Ev," he tilted his head. He stepped closer, putting his arms back at his sides. "I have to let you go."

My breathing stifled as tears rolled down my face. "I can't believe this -"

"I love you." He reached for my hands.

I pulled away from him as I started walking away. I looked up to see Damon stop in front of me, blocking my path. "What's going-"

I walked around him, running inside. I found a quiet room and locked myself inside. The dress suddenly felt like a chokehold. I paced back and forth as I tried to slow my breathing. My vision was blurred by tears. I covered my face with my hands as I dropped to my knees.

For a while, I was alone, being torn away piece by piece. At some point, there was knocking on the door as they tried to talk to me.

Once it was dark outside, and I was sure I wouldn't be bombarded with questions about Oliver, I pulled myself to my feet. I walked to the door and pulled it open after unlocking it.

I walked out of the venue, walking far from the hell the day turned out to be. I found myself at the lake house. Everything was here, except Oliver. After not wanting to deal with being alone, I walked back to town.

I wasn't sure which direction to go. I started to feel like I couldn't breathe again.

I found myself at Kai's door. I opened the door. The only light on was the bedroom. I watched as his figure appeared in the doorway. A breath of relief passed his lips when his eyes landed on me. He said something into the phone and then ended the call. He started walking toward me.

I faltered back a step. I tried to take a deep breath, but it got caught in my throat. My heart felt like it was going to explode from beating so rapidly.

He took a slow step closer, "Evelyn."

My eyes fell shut. "I can't breathe." A sob escaped my lips. I opened my eyes. "I can't -" I tried to take a breath. I clawed at the front of the dress.

He rushed over to me. "Okay!" He cupped my face in his hands. "It's okay."

He stepped behind me. He quickly unclasped the dress, stepping in front of me again and helping me push it off. The rate of my breathing doubled as I fell into him. His arms were covering me, keeping me against him. If I wasn't in his grasp, I would be sinking through the floor.

His soft words were whispered into my ear, soothing me. The feeling of having him surrounding me accomplished something nothing ever could. The comfort he burrowed into me circulated through my entire body.

After I had the strength to hold myself up, I pulled back from him. His hands remained on my body, making sure I was stable. The sad, sympathetic look in his eyes traveled through my entire body, restoring breath into my body. I slid my hands from his chest to his neck, resting just below his ears.

He leaned closer and pressed his lips to my forehead, kissing me softly. I let my eyes close as I melted into him.

After he helped me calm down, I felt like I needed to wash away the last seven hours.

I tightened my hold on my legs as I pressed the side of my face against my knees. The water surrounding me was starting to lose its heat.

I've tried to tune out the sounds of his footsteps and his phone calls, but it's the only thing I feel like I can focus on.

I've been here so long that my hair is mostly dry. I've almost fallen asleep, but I've kept myself awake.

I hate this. I'm right back to where I was before I left, just with more pain. The only thing I can think to do right now is cry, but I'm out of tears.

I drained the water and got out. I dried off and then wrapped the towel around myself. I stared in the mirror for a moment. A wave of numbness washed over me before I decided I didn't have to be sad about this. I can pretend nothing's happened tonight.

I pulled on the clothes Kai sat out for me; I put on the t-shirt and panties. I opened the door, keeping my hand on the doorknob for a minute.

He wasn't in the room. The lights were off. I walked to the bed and sat down, pulling the blanket up to my hips. I looked at my hands, twisting the ring around my finger. I looked up from the ring to the wall.

Every picture that was there before I left was still there, accompanied by more now. He never got over it. He never moved on, and I don't think he tried.

The knot in my stomach felt like it was tightening. I heard him step into the room. I looked over as he pushed the door open and stepped in, keeping close to the door. He was wearing sweatpants that hung low on his hips and a t-shirt.

He glanced at the wall, then looked at me. I watched his jaw tighten before he took a breath. "Do you need anything?"

A lot of things, but he can't give them to me. I shook my head.

He let go of the doorframe. "Okay. I'll be on the couch if you need anything." He started to walk away.

"Kai," I started.

He stopped and turned to me again. "Yeah?"

I took a second before speaking, gaining the courage. "Will you... stay with me?"

I could see the hesitance in his stance. He let go of the door and walked over. I laid back as he laid next to me. I turned to my side, keeping my hands under the pillow. His eyes skated across the features of my face.

"You kept the pictures up."

He looked into my eyes again. "Yeah."

"Why?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I love you. I wanted to see you every day."

I didn't know what to think. His answer wasn't shocking, but I didn't expect it. "I'm sorry for leaving you." I didn't speak above a whisper, too afraid to cry again.

"Don't apologize for doing what you had to do in order to survive."

I felt overwhelmed by every emotion I've ever experienced as they all rushed through me.

He moved closer to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against his body. I laid my arm over him, keeping my other between us. I let my eyes close as I was overcome by exhaustion

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