63

The knocking on the front door forced me out of my peaceful sleep. I could feel Kai's arm laying over me as my stomach was pressed into the mattress. I lifted my head and turned it to see him sound asleep. I groaned as I looked at the clock. 2:57.

I pulled myself out of bed. I pulled on my panties and grabbed Kai's shirt, pulling it over my head. I pushed my hair back behind my ears. I kept my hand against the wall as I dragged myself to the front door. I turned on the light as I opened the door.

I leaned against the door, taking in the sight of Ryan, Damon, and Stefan. "It's three in the morning."

Ryan wore a wide grin on his face. "That's not the reaction I wanted."

I closed my eyes. "What could you possibly want?" I leaned my head against the door.

"I'm so glad you asked," Damon practically yelled as he pushed past into the house.

I groaned and lifted my head as I faltered back a few steps, bringing the door with me. "What is wrong with you?" I opened my eyes and looked at the three of them, who were now standing near the living room.

"We drank too much and got too loud," Stefan summarized.

"Elena made us leave because we were noisy."

I furrowed my brows, "So you came here?"

The three of them cheered. Ryan clapped his hand on Damon's shoulder, "Since you're so accommodating and have an empty house, we knew you wouldn't mind if we crashed for the night."

"It's not empty, and I do mind."

"Come on, Vale." Damon marched toward me. He threw his arm around my shoulders, leaning close. "Cut us a break."

I pushed him away. "Fine, just don't bother me."

They all cheered again. I pushed the door shut and turned off the light before walking back to my room. I could still hear them through the closed door. I locked the door before walking back to bed. I pulled the blanket over myself as I lay on my stomach again.

"What was that?"

I put my hand over Kai's mouth. "Go to sleep."

He pulled my hand away and then moved closer. He laid his arm over me again. He slid his hand into the shirt, caressing my bare skin. I was lulled to sleep by his touch.

The next morning, I was awoken by the same thing that put me to sleep. His fingers were slowly tracing my tattoo.

"There are three men in the living room."

He continued his tracing. "Who?"

"Damon, Stefan, and Ryan. They got drunk and loud, so they came here."

"Right, because where else would they go?"

His comment made me smile. I rolled back into him, keeping my back facing him. I turned my head back to look at him. His hand moved to my hip. "Do you like it?"

"The tattoo?"

"Mhm."

He looked at my lips. "There isn't a single part of you that I don't like." He looked into my eyes.

"Yeah?"

He kissed me softly. "Yeah."

I moved my hand to his face, pulling him to kiss me again. He kissed me slowly. I felt his hand sliding from my hip. I parted my legs as he pushed his hand into my panties. I moaned softly at the sensation of his fingers slowly pushing through my pussy.

I leaned back into him. He kissed me slowly as he circled my clit slowly.

The knocking on my door infuriated me. "Evelyn." Ryan's voice made my blood boil.

I groaned as I pulled away from the kiss. "What do you want?!"

"We need to talk to you."

"Go away or I will light you on fire!" Kai smiled against my skin as he trailed kisses down my neck.

"Okay. I'll just wait downstairs." Footsteps followed his statement.

I felt too annoyed by the presence of them to let Kai touch me. I pulled his hand away and sat up. He sighed as he laid back. I texted Caroline to tell her and Elena to come get their dogs and she responded immediately. I got up and walked to my closet. I pulled off Kai's shirt and threw it at him before devoting my attention to putting on clothes.

After getting ready, we walked downstairs. Kai walked a step behind me. I stopped at the threshold to the living room.

"Get out."

"Come on," Ryan opened his arms. "You're harshing the vibe."

I tilted my head. "In my own house? That you forced yourself into at three in the morning?"

"Exactly," Damon answered. "She finally gets it."

I felt like actually lighting him on fire. "You know you have your own house, right? One that's bigger and is more accommodating to you."

"Yes, but here, he's free from commitment." Ryan held up his hand and Damon clapped it, holding it for a minute.

I looked at Stefan. "I'm going to assume, for the sake of my sanity, that you just tagged along because if you have the same answer, I will snap your neck."

He sat up off the back of the chair. "Whatever you need to tell yourself."

"Fantastic." I turned my attention to Ryan as I took a step further. "Why are you back in town?"

He looked at Damon, then at me, "For the wedding."

"Either you have no clue what time is or you're just an idiot because the wedding's not for four months."

He raised his hand out to me, "Time is just a social construct used to keep us chained to our day to day lives and from seeing the truth."

I felt like I was losing brain cells. "What the hell are you on?"

He smiled. "I have not taken any drugs."

I wasn't gaining anything from this conversation. I opened my mouth to speak but was interrupted by the door opening. I looked over to see Caroline and Elena walk in.

"Why are you bothering Evelyn," Elena demanded as she took a few steps into the living room.

Damon glared at me, "You snitched."

"Don't blame her for your poor decisions, Damon." He sighed as he got up. He followed her out of the house. I turned to Caroline, who was staring at me.

"You could've called last night."

I shook my head, "It's fine."

She nodded. She looked at Stefan, who had walked over. She looked at me again, "I'll see you later."

I nodded. She and Stefan walked away, shutting the door behind them. I looked at Ryan. He looked pale and his eyes were wide. He looked at me. His eyes were a dark yellow, sending chills down my spine. The dead look on his face heightened the fear that his wide eyes instilled in me.

"What's wrong with you?"

He mumbled something under his breath and glanced away from me before locking eyes with me again. He didn't say anything. There was fear in his eyes. I walked to sit next to him, keeping some space between us. I wasn't too cautious because I knew Kai was there.

"Ryan."

He looked confused. "What?" His eyes were normal, and color restored to his face.

I furrowed my brows. "Are you okay?"

He caved after a minute. "I'm in trouble, Ev." He sighed as he looked down. "I met this girl, and we got really close." He looked at me. "She turned out to be a witch, and she was really invested in dark magic. I didn't know until it was too late. Once she found out I was a vampire, she... she cursed me."

I shook my head, "I don't understand."

He stared into my eyes as he tried to gather his words. He reached out and put his hand on mine, holding it. "She marked me for death. A really slow and excruciatingly painful death. And I came here because I need your help."

I squeezed his hand, "We can figure out a way to reverse it."

He looked hopeless, "No, Evelyn. It can't be fixed. And the longer I'm alive and around people, the more chance there is that I'll lose my mind and go on a killing spree."

I realized what he was asking me. "No." I pulled my hand from his. "I'm not killing you."

He tilted his head, "Evelyn-"

"No! There has to be another way. I'm not killing you, and I'm not letting you die. Every spell is rooted in magic and there is always a way to reverse it."

I felt Kai's hand on my shoulder. "It's dark magic, Evelyn. There are no loopholes. I can't siphon it."

I looked up at him. "It's magic. There are no rules to magic." I looked at Ryan. "We can fix it."

"I don't want you to fix it. I need you to kill me."

I shook my head, "No I won't do it."

Kai dropped his hand as he stepped away to answer his phone. Ryan moved closer and grabbed my hands, "This is the only way you can help me, Ev."

My chest felt tight. "I can't kill you. You're my best friend."

He nodded, "I know." He held my hands tighter. "But you need to understand that I'm in so much pain and the only way to stop it is to kill me. I'm asking you because I know you would do anything for me. And I'm asking you to end my suffering."

I could see how desperate he was. The pain in his eyes made a sharp pain run through my heart. I inhaled sharply. "Give me a few hours."

"Thank you."

After a moment, I pulled my hands from his and got up. I wiped the tears off my cheeks as I walked to Kai. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned to look at him. He was sitting on the eighth step. He moved over and I sat beside him. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me against him. I leaned my head on his shoulder. He kissed my head, then leaned his head against mine.

He reached for my hand that was resting on my thigh. He slid his fingers between mine and squeezed my hand gently.

"I don't want to kill him," I said quietly enough for Ryan not to hear.

"This is the only way, baby."

"I know," I admitted. After a few more minutes of sitting with him, I lifted my head and looked at him. "Could you go tell Damon? I don't think I can do it, and I don't want Ryan to do it."

He nodded. "Yeah. I think you two need some time together." He lifted his hand to the side of my face, wiping the tears off my cheeks. He moved his hand back to mine as he leaned forward to kiss me.

We both got up and walked back toward the living room. Kai left and I walked back to Ryan. I sat down next to him.

"I'm not really new to this whole dying thing, but I think this has got to be the worst."

I looked at my hands. "Yeah."

"Evelyn."

I looked at him after a minute. "Ryan."

He grabbed my hand from my lap and held it in his. He was quiet for a minute. "You've been my best friend for-"

I tilted my head. "No. Don't say goodbye to me."

He tilted his head as he turned his body to face me. "Just listen for a minute."

I shook my head as tears filled my eyes. "I don't want you to leave me."

He was fighting tears almost as hard as I was. He squeezed my hand. "I love you, Evelyn. At one point I was in love with you. And I know you because I got the pleasure to. When I met you, I had no clue what I was getting into, but I knew I wanted to. I could see the good in you, and it showed me that I didn't need to hide who I really was." The tears spilled from his eyes as he inhaled shakily. "You are the strongest person I've ever met, and you deserve to be happy. Don't let my death stop you from living your life. I need you to keep being the bright light that pulled me from the darkest part of my life. And if your spark starts to go out, just listen to what your heart is telling you because I will always be there."

I closed my eyes as I moved to hug him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he wound his arms around my waist, keeping me close to him. The sound of our crying filled my ears, making it hard for me to breathe.

The only way to save him is to kill him and accepting that is breaking every part of me.

Over the next two and half hours, we sat and talked about anything that crossed our minds. For a while, it was silent, but once we started talking, we didn't stop.

I grabbed the bottle of bourbon from the cabinet, then walked back to the living room. I could hear murmuring as I got closer. I stopped at the edge of the living room, the bottle slipping from my hands. Ryan was back to his sickly state.

The fear froze me as I stared at him. He turned to face me after the bottle crashed to the ground. His eyes met mine. There was black blood trailing from his eyes and nose. He was foaming at the mouth.

My breathing was rapid. I gathered what courage I could. I started to step closer, but he started acting like a lunatic.

He kicked the couch, sending it backward into a glass shelf that broke and shattered from the harsh impact. He picked up the coffee table. I jumped out of the way as he threw it at me. I heard it hit the wall, making picture frames fall and shatter.

I quickly rose to my feet. I tried to run, but his hand wrapped around my throat, squeezing it tightly and cutting off my airway. I scratched my nails down his arm, peeling his skin. I pushed against the bottom of his arm, bending it up and breaking it.

He screamed as he pulled me off the wall and threw me to the ground. I gasped for air as I tried to get back up. I lifted my head. I reached for the piece of the broken bottle with the easiest place to hold. I hurried to my feet. He ran at me, reaching out to me.

Before I could attack him, he threw me back against the wall. I gasped for air as something was shoved into my torso, almost in my heart. The glass slipped from my hand. He twisted whatever he stabbed me with, the pain drawing a scream from my throat.

"Evelyn," I heard Kai's voice after the front door opened.

He stepped back as he let go of me. He started to turn.

I blinked and Ryan was pulled away from me then his neck was snapped. He collapsed to the ground. I moved my hand to whatever was lodged inside of me. I looked at Kai, "Pull it out."

He stepped over Ryan's body then walked to me. Damon and Stefan walked to Ryan. Kai's hand replaced mine. "Do you want me to count down or-"

"Just take it-" I was cut off by the cry of pain that accompanied Kai ripping the object from my body. His hands quickly moved to my body, keeping me up right.

"What happened," Damon asked.

Kai stepped to the side as I took a step forward, pulling myself off the wall. I kept my hand pressed against where he stabbed me. "He went psycho. I left for two minutes and when I came back, he started flipping furniture."

Damon looked back down at him. "Were his eyes bleeding?"

"Yes."

Stefan stepped closer. "I thought you were supposed to kill him."

I tilted my head. "It's not as easy as it sounds."

"He almost killed you, Evelyn," Damon responded.

I looked at him. "He was fine until I left the room. I didn't know this would happen."

"Let's just figure out what to do with him for now," Kai stated flatly.

My phone started ringing, so I pulled it out of my pocket. I walked out of the room before answering Caroline's call. I walked up to my room, still keeping my hand on my upper stomach.

"Hey, Kai told me what happened. Is Ryan okay?"

I pushed my bedroom door shut. "No. He just attacked me. I'm fine, but Kai had to snap his neck to calm him down."

She was quiet for a minute. "Oh my God. I have to go."

"What?"

"I'll call you back." She ended the call without further explanation.

I tossed my phone on the bed. I pulled my shirt off as I walked to the bathroom. I sat it on the sink. I looked at the mirror, staring at my blood-soaked skin. I heard my bedroom door open, then shut. I leaned against the sink, putting my hands on the top.

"Need some help?" Kai's voice was soft.

I shook my head. I looked down at my hands.

He walked over, stopping beside me. He reached his arm across me, putting his hand at the side of my face. His other hand grabbed my hip. He turned me to face him as he stepped closer. He tilted my head up, making me look at him.

"Are they gone?"

He nodded. "They're taking Ryan to their basement. It's the best place for him right now. I told them we'd be there soon." I tilted my head to the side. He slipped his hand to my neck. "Do you want my help?"

I reached for his hands, pulling them away from me. "Can you leave? I really want to be alone."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

I could see his struggle to not let his feelings overpower what I want. "Okay." He leaned down and kissed me before walking away.

Once I heard the front door open and shut, I turned back to the sink. After cleaning myself, I put on a different shirt. I grabbed my phone before walking out of my room. I ignored the mess in my living room. I grabbed my keys and walked out of the house. I got in my car.

I drove around aimlessly for about an hour before my vision started to become too blurred by tears to keep going. I parked and sat for a minute, crying. After calming down, I got out. I walked into the boarding house and shut the door behind me.

Kai was fixing a drink. He looked up at me, pausing when he realized it was me. He sat his glass down as I walked over. I wrapped my arms around him, and he slid an arm around my waist, cradling my head with the other.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I breathed out slowly. I pulled back from him. "I just needed to... process it." I looked up from the floor to his face. "I think I'll be okay."

He reached for the glass then held it out to me. I looked at it. I took a breath as I grabbed his offer. I took a drink then handed it back to him. He held out his hand to me and I took it. I leaned into him as I wrapped myself around his arm. I slid my fingers between his.

"Where are Damon and Stefan?" I looked up at his face.

He was already staring at me. "They're here, but I don't know where exactly."

"Okay," I looked down at our hands again. All I could think about was Ryan. I loosened my hand from his, sliding it to his wrist. "I need to see him." I looked into his eyes again.

"Do you want me to come with you?"

I shook my head, "No."

He nodded. "He's chained up, so he can't hurt you." He moved his hand to the side of my face. "Just breathe."

I nodded once, "Okay." He leaned forward, kissing me softly.

"You're going down there?"

I looked over at Damon. "Yeah."

He nodded as he took a seat. I looked at Kai again. I pulled away from him, walking toward the cellar. I took a deep breath as I slowly walked down the steps. I stopped just before reaching the door.

I pulled the door open and stepped inside. He lifted his head and looked at me. He had a guilty expression on his face. He turned his head and looked away from me, "You shouldn't be around me. I tried to kill you."

I crossed my arms. "You're sick, Ryan, it wasn't your fault."

"I should've just stayed away from you in the first place. I knew what I was capable of."

"No." I stepped closer. "You should've come to me sooner. We would've had more time to figure this out and try to cure you."

"I don't want to be cured. I just want this to be over with." He looked at me. "I'm begging you to end this for me, Evelyn."

The lump in my throat grew as my eyes filled with tears. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and hug him, but getting too close would be dangerous.

"Please," he begged.

The look on his face made my chest hurt. The only thing that could end his suffering is actually ending it. Seeing him in pain is one of the most hurtful things I've ever had to see. Deciding what to do was killing me, but refusing to choose was killing him. And it was even more painful than what I would do.

"Evelyn." His voice was firmer.

I inhaled sharply as I nodded. "Okay."

Relief flooded his features. I watched as he relaxed. I walked closer to him. I thought of the most painless way to do this. I focused on his consciousness, channeling my magic into making him fall asleep. His eyes slowly shut and all of the tension in his body was gone.

I closed my eyes, breathing slowly as I prepared myself. The only way I could think of successfully killing him was by ripping his heart out.

I opened my eyes and dragged myself toward him. All I could hear in my mind was his voice and his laugh. Tears blurred my vision. I closed my eyes as I buried my hand in his chest, then wrapped it around his beating heart. A sob passed my lips as I ripped his heart from his body.

I staggered backward as I pulled myself away from him. I turned out of the room. I couldn't hold myself up anymore. My back hit the wall, and I slid to the ground. My knees were to my chest. I looked at his heart. It felt like his heart was still beating in my hand. I felt nauseous thinking about it. I let my eyes close again as I slowed my breathing down.

I heard the front door open, then close. Then I heard Caroline's voice. Stefan responded to her. I didn't want to think about what it would be like for one of them to pull me off of the floor

After a moment of calming myself down, I pulled myself to my feet. I looked down at his heart and held it with both hands. For a second, I thought it was still beating. My head was spinning, making it difficult for me to think straight or comprehend anything.

I pulled myself up the steps, then toward the living room. I gasped softly, the realization that this is real washing over me.

"Evelyn," Caroline breathed.

How am I supposed to tell his family? His mom already lost one son; how could she lose her second?

A hand pressed under both of mine, then the other on top of mine. I looked up to see Damon staring at me. He pulled the heart from my hands. "I've got it," he assured me. He took a step back.

"I killed him." I admitted it to myself. "He's dead because of me.

Caroline walked over to me. She put her hands on my shoulder. "Come on." She guided me to the bathroom. She turned on the sink and pulled my hands into the water.

I couldn't look in the mirror, too consumed by guilt to face myself. The blood on my hands ran off with the water. Caroline used her hands to get the blood off of mine, rubbing away all of it. I kept my hands under the water after she pulled hers away. She reached to turn the water off.

"No."

She pulled her hand away. I could feel her next to me. I waited for the water to wash away the guilt I felt, but there wasn't enough pressure in all of time that could cleanse the iniquity that was coursing through me.

I stood there for a while, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did.

"Vale."

I didn't look at her. "Yeah," I whispered. Too tired to speak louder.

"Do you want to stay here tonight?"

I felt a tear break free from my eye as I thought about this house and what just happened. "I can't stay here."

"Okay," she whispered. She put her hand on my shoulder as she leaned closer.

It was quiet for a few more minutes before the sound of footsteps approaching filled my ears. Caroline kissed my cheek softly before pulling away and walking out.

I didn't have to look up to know it was Kai. He walked closer to me. I could feel his eyes on me.

"Hey, baby," he whispered.

More tears filled my eyes. I tried to breathe in steadily, but it turned shaky. I closed my eyes again.

"Do you want to go home?"

I nodded after a moment. I opened my eyes again to see him turn the water off. A few seconds later he was pulling my hands toward him and drying them with a towel.

He took my hands in his, holding them firmly. I didn't know what to feel. I kept my eyes closed.

Getting away was a blur.

I watched as he opened the door to his apartment. I walked inside. I felt like I was slowly being weighed down by the weight of grief. I couldn't walk anymore, I froze. I was being suffocated by everything.

I felt Kai's arms around me before I crashed to the ground. I buried my face in his chest as I sobbed. A scream ripped from my throat, hardly muffled by his body due to the volume. He held me tighter, sheltering me with his body.