43

I caught the dart before it hit the middle of the dart board.

Damon sighed. "You could've just said hey or something."

I threw the dart back to him. "Way less fun."

He caught it before it hit his face. "What are you doing here? I thought you were with Caroline?"

"And I thought you were with Stefan. Yet here we are." I took a few steps closer. "What are you doing for the bachelor party?"

He smirked. "Why? Do you want to be the stripper?"

I punched his arm, and he winced and put his hand over the place. "Caroline wants me to make sure there are no strippers. And that you don't get him drunk."

He tilted his head. "So nothing fun? Got it."

I followed him as he walked to the bar. "There are fun things you could do."

He glanced at me. "Like what?"

"Monopoly?"

He turned away.

"She didn't tell me to tell you what to do. She just told me to tell you what not to do."

"No strippers or booze." He turned to face me. "Got it."

"Actually," I smiled. I pulled the paper out of my pocket. "She gave me a list."

He snatched the list from my hand. "Get out. You're ruining my buzz."

I put my hands up. "I'm just the messenger."

He rolled his eyes as he turned away. I turned to walk out of the Grill. I walked to my car and got in. I checked my phone. The date made me stare at my screen for a few minutes. It's been a year since he left. The realization made me feel sick to my stomach.

I drove home. I got out and walked inside. I started to walk toward the steps.

"Evelyn."

I stopped and turned to face the living room. Stefan and Caroline were sitting on the couch. They were sitting right next to each other. I walked over and stood across from them, "Did someone die?"

"No," Stefan answered.

"We need to talk to you about something," Caroline stated.

I nodded, "I already guessed that."

"We're getting married."

I put my hand against my chest. "What?!"

Stefan tilted his head, "Evelyn."

I raised my hands, "Sorry." I held my hands together behind my back. "Go on."

"Married couples live together."

I started to say something but stopped. "So you're moving in together? It had to happen eventually. Unless you were weird and just went back and forth from one house to another for the rest of your lives. Where are you living?"

"My house," Stefan answered.

There were confused looks on their faces. "I will take back my acceptance if you don't explain the look on your faces."

"I just thought you'd be a little more sad," Caroline explained.

I shook my head, "Why would I be sad? You're moving on with your lives. I'm happy for you. This is great."

"You're not even a little upset," Stefan commented.

I shrugged, "Do you want me to break down and cry? I just feel like having really negative feelings toward this and your relationship is a waste of my time and yours."

"Okay. Good. That's... good," Caroline replied.

I nodded, "Is that all?"

She nodded slowly. "Yeah." She sounded unsure, but I took it.

I made my way to my room and shut the door behind me.

...

I finished labeling the box and then picked it up off the bed. I carried it with me as I walked down the steps. I turned to look at Caroline and Stefan, who were standing in the living room. They ceased their conversation. They walked toward me.

"This is the last one." Stefan took it from me and stepped back. He walked out the front door. I turned to Caroline. Her eyes were glossy. I tilted my head, "Don't cry."

She shook her head, "I'm leaving you. I'm allowed to cry."

I stepped closer, "You're not leaving me. You're just moving in with your fiance."

She took a breath before nodding. "And I'm leaving you behind."

I sighed, "I'll be fine." I put my hands on her shoulders. "You're allowed to move on with your life and be happy. You don't have to sacrifice the things you want because you think it's hurting me. And it's not hurting me, by the way."

She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back. She breathed out shakily. "I just don't want you to be alone."

"I know."

"And I don't want you to feel like I'm abandoning you because I'll always be here for you. You know that, right?" She hugged me tighter.

"Of course I do." I pulled away, moving my hands to her face. "If I need you, I will tell you. Right now, I need you to be happy, which means you need to go with Stefan."

She expelled the breath she was holding as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I love you, Evelyn."

I wiped the tears off her cheeks. "I love you, Care." I moved my hand to her and pulled her with me as I walked onto the porch. We stopped at the top step. I turned to face her. "I'll see you later."

She nodded as she sniffled. "Later."

I smiled. "Bye, Caroline."

She smiled back. I pulled my hand from hers as she walked down the steps. She stared at the sidewalk as she walked. She wiped the tears off her cheeks and then put her hands on her legs. She looked up at Stefan as he opened the car door for her.

I stepped down onto the first step and sat down. Stefan shut the door once she was inside. He looked at me and waved. I lifted my hand and waved back. Once he turned away from me, I brought my hands to my lap and held them together.

I watched them drive off together to go to their home. I sat there for a while, waiting for the courage to go inside and live alone. The only thing I could think of was that I didn't want to be alone. The one person I want to be with hasn't reached out to me, and I have no way to call him or go to him. The last time I tried a locator spell, it didn't work. He cloaked himself to keep himself safe.

He doesn't know that everything's better or maybe he just doesn't want to. Maybe he's fine living blissfully away from me. Maybe he figured out he's better off without me. Maybe he's right, too.

...

"That's not what I'm saying," Caroline started. "I just think it would be better if you brought a date to the wedding. I mean, you have three weeks to find one."

I swallowed the drink I took. "I don't want a date for your wedding. I'm just going with Ryan. We're great at pretending to be a couple. If anyone asks, I'll tell them we're engaged, and we already have two kids." I moved my hands to my lap. "Why are you suddenly so adamant about me having a date, anyway?"

The smile on her face slowly faltered. She glanced at her drink. "It's been over a year." She looked up at me. "You're still obsessed with him, and it's making you depressed."

I sighed, "I'm not depressed. If I were depressed, I wouldn't be here right now."

"I just think you should try to move on."

"I don't want to move on."

"Or you just can't." She picked up her phone as it started ringing. "Give me a second." She slid out of her side of the booth and walked a few steps away. I tuned out her phone call as I stared at the half empty water glass in front of me.

After a few minutes of her hushed phone call, she came back over. She picked up her jacket. "We have to go."

I looked at her, "Why?"

"Stefan needs me. Can you drop me off?"

I moved out of the booth, and we walked out of the Grill, going to my car. Once we were both buckled, I started driving.

"I didn't mean to be so intrusive. I know you really love him."

I shook my head and kept staring at the road. "Just drop it."

"Okay," she responded.

The rest of the drive was silent. She got out after saying goodbye. I drove home slowly, thinking about what she said. I need to move on. I don't want to, though. I want to wait for him even if it takes an eternity, I'll wait for him.

I got out and walked around my car. I stopped at the end of the walkway. Kai was sitting on the porch steps. He was staring at me. The soft look on his face made every emotion wash over me. I walked toward him, hoping that this wasn't just a dream. I can't lose him again.

He walked down the rest of the steps, making his way toward me. We stopped a few feet from each other.

"You're real, right? Because I don't think... If this is just a dream or something, I might actually die. I can't deal with a fake..." I lost my train of thought as he stepped closer.

He put his hands at the sides of my face, and I gasped softly. The feeling of his touch spread through my entire body. "My beautiful girl." He tilted his head. "I missed you."

I moved my hands to his. "You're back. You're really back, right?"

He nodded as he smiled. "I'll never leave you again."

I sighed in relief. "If you tried, I would kill you."

He leaned down, kissing me softly. I kissed him back, leaning into his body. The warmth of him surrounded me. He moved one of his hands to my waist, then wrapped his arm around me. He held me tightly against him.

He moved his hands to my hips. My hands found his shoulders. He pulled me with him as he walked backward. He pulled back from the kiss and grabbed my hands as we walked up to the door. Once we were inside, his hands were on my body again. He pushed me back against the door with his body. I put my hands at his side, keeping him against me.

He stopped kissing me to pull my shirt off. I put my hand at the side of his neck and brought him closer again. I kissed him slowly. He moved his hand to my stomach. He started sliding his hand lower when I felt like someone was ripping my stomach out. I pushed against him. "Stop."

He stepped back, putting his hands up. "What's wrong?"

I looked at my stomach, then at him. I swallowed, trying to slow my breathing. "Did you just siphon me?"

He furrowed his brows, "How could I even do that? You're not..." The confused look on his face ironed out to realization. He stepped closer. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I don't know what happened." He reached for my hand, but he couldn't touch me without causing pain.

I pulled my hand away. "Why do you keep doing it?!"

He looked at my face, "I didn't choose to do it! It just happened." He took a step back and stared at his hands in confusion.

I tried to think of why he's siphoning me. I held out my hand. "Try again."

He stared at my hand for a minute before reaching out. He pulled away quickly after seeing the red glow it emitted. He shook his head, "I didn't do that." He looked at my face. We stared at each other for a minute, as we both thought.

"We can't touch each other," I stated.

"Why?"

I shook my head, "I don't know."

"Do you not want to or something? It's fine if you don't, but -"

"That's a stupid question."

"Well, something's causing this. We can't even get too close."

I stared at him, unsure of what to say. I grabbed my shirt off the ground and put it back on. "What should we do?"

He crossed his arms, sighing. "This has never happened before, so I don't know." He stared at me for a minute. "We could go see if Damon or Stefan knows anything."

"And tell them what? We can't have sex? No thanks."

He tilted his head, "What do you suggest then?"

I stared at him blankly. Having him in front of me and not being able to touch him is making me feel like I need to break down. I turned and opened the front door. He followed me as we walked to his car. We got in, and he started driving. I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything other than him.

"If you're struggling that badly to keep yourself from touching me, there are things that can help."

I opened my eyes and looked at him. "No. I'm fine."

He looked away as he smirked. "Whatever you say."

"I've been doing just fine without sex for a year, I can wait until we can touch each other again."

"Just say the word."

"And you'll do what exactly?"

He glanced at me, "Do you want a visual or -"

"Just drive!"

He turned his attention back to the road. "Your loss."

I rolled my eyes as I looked away from him. He parked the car and we got out. We kept our distance from each other. I walked inside first. I walked into the living room, but no one was around. I turned to face Kai as he walked up next to me.

"Maybe they're not here."

"There are forty other rooms in this house, I doubt that they stay in one place all the time."

He smiled, "You're very snappy when you don't get what you want."

I tilted my head. "Sometimes it's okay for our thoughts to stay inside of our head."

"Mhm, but which head is the question."

I opened my mouth to speak but took a breath instead. I looked at the fireplace to see the fire brightly burning. I looked at him again.

"Kai?" We both looked over to see Stefan. I glanced at Kai, then turned my attention back to Stefan. He stepped further into the living room. "What are you two doing here?"

"We had a question," I admitted.

He furrowed his brows. "For me?"

"You or Damon. Or both of you."

He crossed his arms. "What is it?"

"How much do you know about siphons," Kai asked.

He shook his head, "They take magic. Sometimes, they can give magic. It can be controlled, but sometimes it can't. Why are you asking me about this?"

"You've come across a lot of them, right?" I asked.

He looked at me. "Yeah."

"Have they ever siphoned you? Accidentally or purposefully?"

He nodded, "Once or twice."

"And they could touch you? Without siphoning you?"

He looked even more confused. "I'm sensing a story here, and I think context would be great."

Damon walked into the room. "Hey, when did you get back?"

"Today," Kai answered.

He nodded. He glanced at Stefan, then at me. "Why are you guys here?"

Stefan turned to him, "They're asking very vague questions about siphons. I'm trying to figure out why." They both looked at us.

Damon furrowed his brows. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Why are you standing so far apart?"

I sighed before answering. "We can't touch each other."

"Is that like... a rule or something," Stefan wondered.

"No. If I get too close to her, then I siphon her. Every single time."

"How did you..." Damon trailed off.

Stefan took a breath. They looked at each other, then at us. "I'll call Bonnie," Damon stated as he walked into the kitchen.

I sighed as I walked to the couch and sat down. I twisted my index finger back and forth as I stared at the coffee table.

"So," Stefan started as he walked to the cart of liquor behind the other couch. "When did it start?"

I looked at him. "Seriously?"

"You wanted help."

I looked at Kai. "This was a bad idea."

He tilted his head. "You were the one who agreed."

I looked at Stefan as I stood up. "Where's Caroline?"

He pointed toward the hallway as he put his glass to his lips. I walked down the hallway, then up the steps. I could hear her talking. I followed her voice into Stefan's bedroom. She was sitting on the floor in front of the bed, holding one of the twins while the other was lying in a bouncer, staring at her.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

I walked over and sat next to the baby in the bouncer. "Kai's back."

A happy, surprised look crossed her face. "That's great! Why aren't you with him?"

I laughed, wryly. "He's downstairs talking to your fiance and your soon-to-be brother-in-law about why we can't have sex."

The smile on her face faded. "Tell me you're joking."

"Oh, I wish I was."

She glanced at the baby in her arms, then looked at me. "Why would he do that?"

"Because we're both idiots who can't solve our own problems, apparently."

"What happened?"

I sighed as I shook my head. "We were kissing, and then we got touchy, and then he started siphoning me. He didn't do it on purpose, but every time he touched me, he siphoned me. So, we can't touch each other."

She gasped softly. "That sucks."

"Mhm." I looked down at my hands in my lap.

"You know what will make you feel better?"

"Hmm?" I looked up at her. She held out the baby in her arms to me. I looked at the baby. "She's sleeping."

"So? She's a heavy sleeper. If you'd prefer, you can hold Lizzie."

I looked at the baby in the bouncer. She was smiling as she lifted her arm and threw it back down.

"I have to take them downstairs, so you'd be doing me a favor by carrying her."

I looked at the six month old baby. She lifted her hand, reaching for me. I listened as Caroline walked out of the room. She started to babble. I turned her to face me and picked her up. I hugged her to my body as I stood up. She rested her hand on my arm, putting the other against my chest. Her eyes moved all across my face.

I held her on my hip as I walked downstairs. I moved my hand off the railing and put it on her leg once I was off the steps. I held her tightly to me. I walked into the living room. Stefan was sitting on the couch next to Stefan.

I looked at Lizzie. She looked at me. She tightened her fist on my chest as if to grab me tighter so I wouldn't put her down. I moved my hand from her leg to her hand, wrapping my hand around it. She started babbling again.

Bonnie walked in from the kitchen. She sat on the couch. I walked over and sat next to her after handing the baby off to Damon.

Bonnie looked at me, "How did you get your magic?"

"I died and became a heretic."

"Okay." She turned to face me. She held out her hand, and I put mine in hers. "Normally, siphons can control when they siphon unless the source they're siphoning has more magic than them. You have to have a substantial amount of magic for this to be happening every time you touch."

She closed her eyes as she encased my hand in hers. A minute later, she opened her eyes with a confused look on her face. She pulled her hands away quickly. "Bonnie?"

She looked at my face. "How did you die, Evelyn?"

It took a moment for my voice to come out of my open mouth. "Joshua and Lillian started a ritual to bring people back from the dead."

"The ritual I warned you not to do," Kai asked.

I looked at him. "I didn't really have a choice."

Bonnie looked at him. "Which spell did they use?"

He looked at her. "I assume it's the least catastrophic one, which still would've killed everyone involved in the spell."

"It did," I commented. "I was the last to die."

Bonnie looked at me. "They had to have harnessed power from a celestial event. Which one was it?"

I shook my head. "Some planets aligned."

She got quiet, and so did Kai.

"What does all of that mean," Caroline asked. "What does it have to do with why he keeps siphoning her?"

I thought back to what Lillian says. Bonnie looked at Caroline. "It means she died with celestial magic and that she's been living with it for weeks." She paused for a second. "It's dangerous and impossible to live with."

"But she's living right now," Damon argued.

"Yeah, how does that make sense," Stefan asked.

"She hasn't used her magic yet."

No one said anything for a few minutes. "So you're saying that if she uses her magic..." Caroline stopped mid sentence.

I looked at her. "If I use more magic than I can handle, I'll die." They were just words in my head. Saying it out loud makes it real.

"But don't you use the magic when Kai siphons you," Damon wondered.

I shook my head, "No. If he had the magic instead of me, then he would be using it. As long as I don't do anything magic related, then I will live."

"Until you don't," Bonnie added. She looked at me. "Carrying this magic for too long could kill you too."

I stared at her, unsure of what to say. I knew that was a possibility, I just didn't want to consider it.

"So she doesn't carry the magic," Kai answered.

I looked at him. There was a heavy look on his face, but acceptance in his eyes. "Are you insane?"

He nodded, "You already knew that."

I shook my head. "You're not taking it."

"Why not?"

"Because you're not dying for me. With the way you use magic, you'd be dead before you could finish taking all of it."

"Not necessarily," Bonnie interjected. She looked at me. "Kai could take just enough of it that it doesn't hurt either of you until we can figure out a more permanent situation."

"But what would it do to Evelyn," Damon asked. "She's been living with all of this magic for weeks, and if you just take it away, wouldn't there be some kind of consequence?"

I looked at him. "I could die. I could die if I kept it. I could die if I used it. But if I just ignore it, I will die. Anything I do is dangerous, and if I disagree with whatever we use, the magic could kill me. Which is why you're not taking it," I looked at Kai.

"So what do you want to do?" Caroline asked.

I looked at her. I wasn't sure how to answer. Anything I do risks my life, but some options will hurt other people. I could test my limits, but that could have catastrophic consequences.

"Do you remember what they said in the spell?"

I looked at Bonnie. "No."

She stared at me as she thought. "Can you take me to where you died?"

I furrowed my brows. "Why?"

"Because if we can recreate it, then we might be able to reverse it."