39

The weight of my head was starting to get to me as I switched my eyes back and forth. Caroline and Damon have been going back and forth for the last fifteen minutes about what Ric and Jo would want for this party tonight. They started this argument in the living room, which is why I moved to the kitchen. The book against my legs, which are propped up against the kitchen table, has been stuck on page 217.

My eyes floated to the kitchen door that opened, revealing Kai. He stared at the two of them, confused, as he walked to me. He stopped behind my chair, and I tilted my head back to look up at him. He leaned down, kissing me softly for a second, then pulling away.

"Hey," I whispered.

"Hi."

I looked at Damon and Caroline again.

"No!"

"You can't just say no," Damon argued.

"You're turning it into a frat party!"

"Because it will be fun!"

Caroline turned to face me. "Do you think a meteor shower should be celebrated with beer and horny college guys?"

"Don't drag me into it."

"Come on, Evelyn," Damon started. "This is supposed to be a party, not a funeral."

I looked at him. "I thought you hated everyone? Why do you suddenly want to throw a party?"

"It's not for me."

"I'm pretty sure that's been well established."

He looked at Caroline. "She's no help. Why is she here?"

"This is my house." I pushed my book onto the table. "You two followed me in here. Every five minutes, one of you turns to me to try and make me defend you." I sat up, putting my feet on the floor.

"Whatever." Caroline looked at Kai. "Do you think -"

"No," I interrupted. I got up and grabbed his hand. "Figure it out amongst yourselves. You have eight hours." I pulled Kai with me as I walked out of the kitchen. I turned to face him when we reached the bottom of the stairs.

He closed the distance between us, kissing me. He held me back against the wall. I moved my hand to his and pulled it down from my face. He pulled back from the kiss, "So do we have to go tonight or -"

"Yes." I placed my hands on his chest and tilted my head. "It'll be fun."

"We'd have a lot more fun in your room." He moved to kiss me again, but I pushed against his chest.

"We're going to the party."

"Okay." His eyes flicked to my lips. "What about right now," he whispered.

"They can hear us."

"So, we'll go to my place." He looked into my eyes again.

"If we start now, we'll be late. I'll have to come back here and -"

"Just bring your stuff." His lips hovered over mine. "Please."

"Fine."

He kissed me and then pulled away.

...

I brushed through the curls in my hair with my fingers, watching through the mirror as I did. I stepped back as I smoothed my hands over my dress. Caroline bought the dress for me to wear. She bought everything for everyone to wear to make sure they were right. The black dress is fitted and stops mid-thigh. The straps are thin, but they stay in place.

I stared down at the dress as I walked into the living room, making sure it didn't ride up as I did.

"Oh, baby."

I looked up to see Kai. He was standing at the end of the couch, staring at me. His hands were at his sides. There was a desperate look on his face that made my ego fly through the roof. He held his hands out as he walked toward me.

"The things you do to me." He put his hands on my waist, and I put my hands on his arms. His eyes moved up from my body and met my eyes. "Are you sure we can't just stay in?"

I tilted my head. "This party is important. We can't miss it."

"Really?" He got a serious, concerned look on his face. "Because I feel... lightheaded and dizzy, and I feel really hot and- and I don't think I can go out."

I laughed, moving my hands to his face. "We have to go."

He sighed, exaggeratedly. "But people will see you." He wrapped his arms around me as he stepped closer, pressing his body against mine. "And they'll drop dead. Thankfully, I'm immune to your ways, and I can be here for you to take care of you and try to find a cure." He leaned closer. "It may take a while, though."

I pushed against him. I unhooked his arms from around my waist. "We're going." I started walking toward the door. I could hear his footsteps coming closer. I pulled the door open.

I started walking down the hallway. I felt his arms slide around my waist, pulling me back against him. I pulled my head away, "My hair."

He groaned and turned me to face him. "Your hair is perfect."

I pulled his hands off of me. "No touching. Not until after the party."

He tilted his head, "Seriously?"

I walked backward into the elevator. "Didn't you get enough earlier?"

He walked in and pressed the button to the lobby. "First of all, I'll never get enough of you, and second, that dress is like a seduction method. And you staring at me like that makes it so much worse."

I tilted my head, "Like what?"

He tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling. "I hate you so much." I walked closer. I pressed my hands against his stomach, staring up at him. He looked down at me. His brows were furrowed, and his lips were parted. "Please."

I shook my head. "Two hours." I slid my hands lower, toying with his belt. "Then I'm yours."

He clenched his jaw as his eyes closed.

...

I watched Kai as he talked to Damon and Stefan. They seemed calm but tense. I looked around, searching for Ryan, but not seeing him. I turned back to the conversation with Jo and Bonnie as Ric walked over.

"Hey, can I borrow you for a dance?"

Jo smiled at him, "Yeah." She glanced at us before walking off with Ric to the dancefloor outside.

At first, the Founder's Hall seemed a bit of an excessive venue, but it's actually perfect. I walked toward the pillar holding up the second floor balcony and leaned against it. I watched Jo and Ric dance slowly. They stared into each other's eyes the entire time. There were a few other couples dancing, and the rest were standing and watching.

I could feel someone walking close to me. After feeling his hands wrap around my waist, I knew it was Kai. He rested his head on top of mine. I put my hands on his and leaned into him. "Do you dance?"

He hummed in thought. "I never really got the chance." He was quiet for a minute. "Do you want to dance?"

"Not with these people."

He moved his hands to mine and lifted his head off of mine. He pulled my arms up and spun me around. "What about with just me?"

I laughed as he pulled me closer. He placed my hands on his shoulders and then wrapped his arms around my waist. He tilted his head, his eyes slowly moving across my face as we danced slowly to the soft music playing.

"What were you talking to them about?"

He looked into my eyes. "You." He was quiet for a moment. "They asked about you, and since you don't want to divulge information about yourself to anyone, I told them."

"What do you mean?"

"They asked if you were okay."

"And you said?"

"That you're fine."

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to blindly follow his word. But something about the way he said it made me doubt him.

I slid my hands to his chest and pushed against him. "Have you seen Ryan?"

He furrowed his brows. "No." I looked back at the people again. Ryan wasn't in the crowd. "What's wrong?"

"He's been acting weird the past few weeks, and he isn't here."

"Maybe he's just late."

"An hour late?" I looked at Kai.

He grabbed my hands. "He's fine, baby. He'll be here." He tilted his head. "Let's take a walk."

I sighed as he started pulling me toward the stairs. He led me toward the pond. The music got quieter, but it didn't become unheard. He slid his fingers between mine, holding my hand tighter. I looked up from the ground to his face.

"We never talked about what you said a few weeks ago. We said we would, and we never did."

"About our relationship?"

"Mhm."

"Do we really need to? Everyone knows about us, and we're okay."

He smiled. "We don't have to."

I stopped walking. "But you want to."

He pulled me to walk again. "I'm just making conversation."

"A conversation we've already had? It's redundant."

"No conversation with you is redundant. Repetitive, maybe. Redundant, never."

"Say whatever you want, you're still not touching me until this party is over."

He smiled and looked at me. "What if we're in a really private place?"

I laughed and looked away from him. "Not happening. There are ten vampires here who will hear every single thing."

I felt him stop walking and pull me back to him. I put my hand on his shoulder to catch myself. He wrapped his other arm around me. "I'll take the next best thing, then."

For the next twenty minutes, we danced by the pond. The quiet music mixed with the natural sounds of the animals in the woods was serene. The lights weren't too blinding, so the natural light of the moon shone on us.

I pulled away from him once the music stopped. I moved my hands to his and started to pull away. He pulled me against him again and kissed me. I leaned into his body, kissing him back. He maneuvered my arms to bend behind my back, still holding my hands. He pulled back from the kiss.

He stared at me for a minute. "I love you."

I tilted my head, "I love you."

After our moment of peace, we walked to the bridge. He stood behind me, his arms surrounding me. I kept my hands on his forearms. We watched as everyone left. The only people who stayed were Caroline, Damon, and Stefan.

"I really think we should go now."

I looked at him. "Not yet."

There was a look of distress in his eyes. "The party's over."

I furrowed my brows, moving my hands to his. "Why do you want to leave so badly?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but a scream from the woods interrupted. I tried to go around him, but he grabbed my arms and stared into my eyes, "We need to go."

I pulled away from him. "What's wrong with you? Someone is obviously -" Another scream, which sounded like it was induced by extreme pain, cut me off. I looked over to see someone stumbling out of the woods.

"What is that," Caroline asked, coming up behind Kai and I.

I glanced at her, "I don't know." I looked at the man again. He was on his knees, hurled over, and clutched his chest. I started toward him.

"Evelyn, what are you doing?"

I ignored Kai and kept on. His footsteps carried behind me, along with Caroline's. The man looked up, and the breath caught in my throat. I ran toward Ryan. There was blood coming out of his mouth. He tried to speak but choked on his blood. I got on my knees beside him and grabbed his face.

His eyes were glossy, and he had cuts on his face. He groaned in pain. "What happened to you?"

"He didn't listen." The chilling, malicious voice drew my eyes to the man who spoke. Joshua stood at the edge of the treeline. He was wearing a cloak. "Much like you."

"Evelyn," Ryan whispered. I looked at him. He gasped for air. "You have to go."

"Yes, Evelyn, go," Joshua mocked. He took a few steps closer, and I kept my eyes on Ryan. "But if you do, I'll kill all of you."

I looked at Joshua. My throat burned as I choked on tears. "What do you want?"

"You." He kept his eyes on mine. "And if you choose to disagree or run, I will snap your friend's neck right in front of you. Then your boyfriend's." The way he said it was sharp and slow, like a knife to the chest.

I looked at Ryan, weighing the decision. He shook his head. "Don't."

"She's off limits," Kai answered. "You have no use for her."

"Neither do you. Wait," Joshua laughed. "I forgot about your newfound hero complex where you feel the need to boost your ego by saving her."

Ryan's eyes shut slowly. "Open your eyes," I whispered. He opened his eyes quickly and took a breath. His eyes shut again. I looked at Joshua. "Why do you want me?"

He looked at me again. Lillian walked up beside him, wearing the same cloak, and answered. "To save you and the people you love. Everything that's wrong can be fixed, Evelyn, you just need to come with us."

"Voluntarily or brutally is your choice," Joshua added. "Either way..."

I felt Kai's hand on my shoulder. I looked back at him. "You're not going, Evelyn. Stop thinking about it. What they're trying to do is a resurrection spell. They kill you to bring back whoever they want. Whether you go with them or not, people will die."

I shook my head. "No, I can save them."

"You're right," Lillian answered. "You can save everyone."

I looked at her. Then, more people started to come out of the woods. At least 20 cloaked people. Kai grabbed me by the arms, and I yelled as he pulled me away. "He's dying!"

He pulled me back against him as he stopped. I looked up from the ground to see two people pull Ryan up by his arms. Joshua came forward. Every breath I had taken was gone. I pulled away from Kai, stepping away. I covered my mouth with my hands, holding my breath.

Joshua snapped Ryan's neck. I moved my hands to my stomach, the urge to throw up filling my throat. I started to hyperventilate. I watched as the people started dropping to the ground after their necks were snapped. Joshua turned to face me. Before he could take a step, there was a hand through his chest, holding his heart out of his body. His mouth hung open as life left his eyes.

I felt Caroline move closer to me, but I couldn't move. Damon and Stefan were responsible for most of the dead people. Kai pulled his hand back through Joshua's chest and stepped back to watch him fall. He was breathing heavily. He dropped his arm to his side and then dropped the heart. He looked at his hand, then at me.

Caroline put her hands on my shoulders. I leaned back against her, trying to breathe. "It's okay."

My eyes fell to Ryan's body. His lifeless body. I felt frozen. He died because of me. Why didn't I beg for someone to give him blood? Why didn't I call him before the party? He was with them the entire time, enduring hours of torture.

I pulled myself away from Caroline, making my way toward Ryan. I felt like I was dragging dead weight with me as guilt clouded my head.

I sank down beside him. I hesitated to touch him. I lifted his head onto my lap as I exhaled slowly. I was still unable to breathe steadily. I soothed my hand back over his hair, only to feel blood. Old and new blood. I shut my eyes to stop the tears from escaping.

"Evelyn."

I inhaled sharply. I opened my eyes and looked up at Kai. Stefan, Damon, and Caroline were standing around by him. The longer I stared at Kai, the angrier I got. "Why didn't you let me save him?"

"You couldn't have," Damon answered after a beat.

I shook my head, speaking between breaths, "I could've... went with them. I could've..."

"That wasn't an option," Kai answered.

"What I choose to do isn't your decision. If I-"

"It is when your decision is to kill yourself."

I looked back down at Ryan. He felt cold. I wondered how he already felt cold. He's been dead for fifteen minutes. I furrowed my brows. I looked back up at Damon. "You could've saved him. Any of you could've saved him. Why didn't you?"

He stared at me for a minute and then looked at the ground. "Evelyn..."

"What," I responded sharply.

"He chose to do this." He looked back up at me.

I looked at Caroline, and she was staring at Damon as confused as I felt. I shook my head and looked at Damon again. "He wouldn't do that."

"Why do you think he came back to town," Kai asked. "He heard about what happened to you. He wanted to help."

"He asked me to turn him," Damon added. "And I did."

I looked at Ryan. My heart beat rapidly as anger filled my entire body. "He's a vampire. You..." I looked at Damon. "Why would you do that? He wasn't supposed to get involved in- in this part of my life. He was the one normal thing I had." Tears escaped my eyes, but this time, they weren't of sadness or grief.

"He asked for this, Evelyn. He came up with this idea. He's the-"

"Wait." I closed my eyes, taking a second. "This was..." I looked at them again. "This was planned?" Nothing could settle the betrayal I felt. "You all planned this, and you didn't tell me? You didn't think to tell me that I should be prepared to watch my best friend die?"

"It had to be believable," Stefan answered.

A laugh of disbelief fell from my lips. "Believable?" I looked back at Ryan as I moved his head back to the ground. I stood up.

"We did this to help you, Evelyn," Damon continued. "You're safe now. This was for your own good."

I scoffed. "For my own good?" I looked at him. "That's the best you could do?"

"You couldn't handle this on your own," Kai answered.

I looked at him. "Apparently, I couldn't handle it at all."

"You would've stopped us."

"For good reason! Getting yourselves killed for me, in front of me, is the exact opposite of helping me! No part of any of this is okay or for my own good. If any of you wanted to protect me, you should have never walked into my life." I glanced at Ryan before walking off.

"Evelyn, wait," Kai pleaded. I kept walking, and he kept following me. "You can't walk away from this." I walked out of the entrance of the Founder's Hall. He sped up and rushed in front of me, putting his hands on my arm, "Just stop for a minute."

I pulled away from him and walked around him, "Fuck off."

He sighed as he kept following me. "I drove you here."

"So I'll walk."

He ran in front of me again. "I'm not letting you walk all the way home. Especially not by yourself. So you can either get in the car or I'll follow you the entire way home."

I stared at him. He won't leave me alone because he's persistent and annoying. He wants to redeem himself and I want to forgive him but it feels impossible. He walked to the car and opened the passenger door.

I loathed myself for getting in the car. He shut the door and walked to the driver's side. I pulled off my heels and dropped them on the floor. I stared out of my window. He sighed before starting to drive.

He drove slowly to piss me off. "Can you please hear me out?"

I didn't look at him. "I have to. We're in a relationship."

"You don't have to, actually, but-" He stopped himself, redirecting his sentence. "You don't have to forgive me and you can keep being mad at me, I don't care. I just need you to understand that I actually did do this to help you. You're upset that I didn't tell you, and I really am sorry. I wanted to, but I couldn't. They had to think that you didn't know Ryan wasn't going to die so that we had the upper hand."

I looked at my hands as I drew circles into the palm of my hand. He would've told me if he could've, I know that. But that doesn't change the fact that I had to watch Ryan die, and everyone's been lying to me about him. I felt the car stop and looked out the window to see that we were at his apartment building.

"I know you're hurt because I can feel it, and I- I hate that I helped cause it."

I looked at him. "You said you'd take me home."

He turned to face me. "You're not supposed to walk away. You're not supposed to leave the people you love. You told me that."

I looked down at my hands again. I did say we're not supposed to leave each other. I told him never to leave me.

"We've come a really long way, and if we let this ruin everything then all of it was for nothing. We love each other. We can work this out. We've worked out everything else, what makes this so different?"

I couldn't think of an answer. The only thing I could think of was Joshua and Lillian and their dead bodies.

"Baby..." His breath was shaky. "Please look at me."

Thinking about the time without him felt just as bad as being without him. I can't lose him again. Especially not with love for him that consumes every part of me. I took a breath, waiting just a second for the swell of sadness to wash away. I turned to him, lifting my head to look into his eyes. "I understand why you did it. You didn't want to get hurt. You don't want to lose me. So, you tried to keep me out of it, and you did. But I need you to understand that I'm way past saving. There isn't a single part of me that isn't fucked up. You know that. You've seen it. I know you want to protect me and keep me safe, but you can't."

He inhaled sharply. "I can't lose you."

I moved to sit on my knees. I cupped his face in my hands and leaned over. I kissed him softly. "Then it's a good thing I'm not that easy to get rid of."

He laughed softly. "I love you." He choked on the words in his throat. He sighed then swallowed.

"I love you."

He put his hands on my wrists. "And I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

I glanced at his lips then smiled. "You can make it up to me."

I watched a slight blush cover his cheeks. I pulled back from him. He got out of the car. I grabbed my shoes and started to put them on. He opened my door and forced the shoes back into the floorboard. He lifted me out of my seat, carrying me bridal style. I kept my arms around his neck and my eyes on his face. He wasted no time getting to his apartment.

He set my feet on the floor and I stepped away from him. He shut the door. I started to walk away but I couldn't get two feet away before his hands were on my hips, pulling me against him. I put my hands on his shoulders to steady myself as he walked me backward. I slid my hands to his chest as I pushed his jacket off and he pulled his arms away for a second to get it off the rest of the way.

His hands went to my hips, lifting me onto the counter. He pulled a hand away to push the bar seat away. He pushed my legs apart and stepped closer. I moved my hands to his tie, loosening it, then moved my hands to his head.

He pushed my dress up to my stomach. He stopped kissing, looking down between us. A quiet groan from him filled my ears, fueling my need for him.

"Well, aren't you bold?"

"You've stolen every other pair. So there was no point." I turned his face up to look at me. "Besides, it saves time."

There was a helpless look on his face. His knuckles grazed my pussy, making me moan. "I need you."

I kissed him. "You have me."

He moaned as he kissed me. He pulled back. He kept his eyes locked on mine as he sank to his knees. I put my hands on the counter, resting my weight on them.

He slid his arms under my legs, pulling them onto his shoulders. He placed soft, wet kisses up my thigh, stopping just before he got to my pussy. He did the same to my other thigh. My breathing shuddered. His mouth hovered over me, his lips parted. His hot breath coated me, making me moan.

I moved my hand to the top of his head, pushing my fingers through his hair. He pressed his lips to my pussy, kissing softly. He dragged his lips up to my clit, then back down. I pressed my heel into his back as I arched my back.

He pushed his tongue past his lips, then slowly dragged his tongue to my clit. I gasped as the sensation. He circled my clit a few times before licking back down. He flattened his tongue against me then retracted his tongue. I groaned in frustration.

He tightened his hold on my legs. He placed his open mouth on my pussy, licking back and forth, making me gasp for air and moan. He moved his mouth slowly, drawing out the motion for as long as possible. He swirled his tongue around my clit in fast, tight circles. A high pitched whine left my lips. I gripped his hair.

He pulled back just slightly, making me groan. I huffed and relaxed the muscles in my stomach. "Don't stop," I whined. I slid my hand to the back of his head, pushing him close again.

He started licking and sucking faster. The tension in my body kept building tighter. He sucked my clit then brushed his tongue against it slowly. I shut my eyes tightly, leaning my head back. He hummed against me, making me moan louder.

The warmth of his breath, the feeling of his tongue, and the noises he was making fueled my need to cum. I lifted my head and looked at him. I moved my hand to the top of his head, sliding my fingers through his hair.

"Kai, I can't..." My eyes fell shut as a drawn out moan passed my lips.

"Don't cum yet," he mumbled.

I whined. I opened my eyes as I slid my hand to the back of his head. He closed his eyes as he moaned. He focused all of his attention on eating me out. He pulled my legs further apart. I screamed out as his tongue found new places to devour. Tears filled my eyes.

"Kai," I cried. I could feel my clit throbbing. The tightness in my entire body was tearing me apart. He hummed against me, making it impossible for me to stay still. The more I moved, the closer I got.

"Cum for me, baby," he mumbled.

As if my body were his to command, it obeyed. My thighs pressed against his hand, begging to keep his touch. I leaned back against my hand, shutting my eyes tightly. A string of moans and whines fell from my lips as I came into his mouth. His mouth didn't stop, though, not until an orgasm took over my body.

I pressed as hard as I could against his hand to relieve the tension in my body. He moaned to keep me going. My legs were shaking and he held them tighter, keeping me as still as possible.

After the moment of ecstasy, he pulled his head back. His breathing was heavy. I threaded my fingers through his hair, gently playing with it. I lifted my head, groaning from how heavy it felt. I opened my eyes and looked down at him. I struggled to catch my breath.

He kissed the inside of my thigh before standing up. I moved my hand back to the counter. He slid his hands to my waist, pulling me toward him. I moved my hands to his sides and leaned forward, pressing my face into his chest.

He moved his hand up my back, then into my hair. He pulled my hair, tilting my head back. An involuntary moan passed my lips. He started laughing. I moved my hand to his tie, pulling him down to kiss me. He kissed me slowly. I moved my other hand to the side of his face as I slipped my tongue past his lips.

There was a knock on the door. He tried to pull away but I pressed my thighs against his body, keeping him between my legs. He moaned in response. I slid my hand to the back of his head.

He managed to pull away from the kiss. "I have to answer that," he said breathily.

I tilted my head, "No, please."

He tilted his head, "That's not fair."

"Neither was pulling my hair, yet here we are."

He kissed me softly then pulled back. He glanced down between us then smiled. He backed away then turned toward the door. I pushed off the counter and pulled my dress back down. I sat down on the barstool, too weak to stand.

He opened the door and it was pushed further open by Miles and two of his other friends. I tilted my head when Kai looked at me. He looked at his friends as they walked further into the apartment. We were about to have sex, why did he let them in?

"You're Evelyn." One of his unidentified friends walked over to me. "I'm Denny." He held out his hand.

I put my hand in his and he shook it. He pulled back a few seconds later. The other unidentified friend walked up, resting his arm on Denny's shoulder. He looked me up and down before his eyes settled on mine. "I'm Steven."

I smiled, "Good for you."

Miles walked up, staying a few feet from them. "I'm Miles."

I looked at him, "I know."

He looked confused. Then he laughed. "Right. The bar. I was drunk, and- and-"

"It's fine."

Kai clapped his hand on Miles' shoulder. He looked at his friends. "Give us a minute."

They all looked at me and said bye before walking to the living room and seating themselves. I turned to Kai. "Your girlfriend was half naked and begging for you to take her to bed and you let your friends come through the door?"

He tilted his head. "I meant to tell you, but I forgot. They were supposed to come over tonight because the game's on."

I raised my brows, laughing humorlessly. "You couldn't have canceled?"

He tilted his head. "I'll make it up to you."

Oddly enough, I didn't feel angry. Only dissatisfied. Which I can turn back on him. "Can't wait."

"Hey, why are you so dressed up," Steven asked.

Kai looked over. "We were at a party." He looked at me again. "Are you mad?"

I shook my head. "No. I just really wish we could've used your tie. But it's fine." I moved my hand to the side of his face and brought him down to kiss me. As slowly and as torturous as possible. I moved my lips next to his ear. "I'm sure your showerhead can finish the job." I pulled back.

He looked surprised and frustrated. "So you're not mad, you just hate me?"

I laughed as I got up. I kissed his cheek before walking off to the bedroom. I shut the door and walked to the bathroom.