2

It was quiet. As quiet as last night. I opened my eyes slowly. I looked at the clock sitting on the nightstand. 7:37. I breathed out slowly and raised up on my elbows. I grabbed my phone and turned it on. There were a few texts.

Ryan:

How's home?

Me:

Ok. Got in late. Hopefully, today won't be boring.

Ryan:

Gtg. Say hey to your sister for me. ;)

Me:

She would break you.

Ryan:

That's what I'm hoping for. Stay sweet, Ev. XX

Me:

Will do. XX

I turned my phone off and laid it face down on the bed. I buried my face in my hands. I dug the heels of my palms into my eyes. I sat up and moved off the bed. I walked sluggishly to my bag and brought it onto the bed. I pulled out panties, a bra, a pair of jeans, and a long sleeve shirt.

I carried them with me to the bathroom that was connected to my room.

I remember begging for this room. Caroline was mad about it. It was my reward for getting all A's through middle school.

I sat my clothes on the sink and walked to the shower. I turned it on and walked in front of the mirror. Luckily, I didn't wear mascara yesterday, or it would've smudged. My hair was a mess. I walked back into the room. I grabbed my bag of makeup and hair stuff. I walked back into the bathroom and sat it on the sink. I pulled out my brush and brushed my hair. I got undressed and got in the shower.

-

I finished getting dressed and then dried my hair the rest of the way. It was wavy. It was okay. I brushed my teeth. I pushed my hair behind my ears before stepping closer to the mirror. I curled my lashes, then put on mascara. I stepped back. I pushed my hand back through my hair. It looked the way I wanted it to. It was better than okay.

I walked out of the bathroom. I grabbed my necklace out of my bag and put it on. It was a silver chain. The charm was a diamond. I grabbed my phone before walking out of my room. I could hear something from downstairs. I made my way to the noise.

It was in the kitchen. I was careful not to make noise. I listened to my mom singing. I watched her finish making breakfast. There were already plates of bacon and biscuits on the counter. She was frying eggs. I could hear the pop of one. She laughed softly before continuing her humming. I could practically see her smile.

I couldn't stop the smile that had emerged on my lips. She put the last egg on the plate. She turned off the burner.

"Mom."

She turned quickly. There was an expression of joy and disbelief on her face. "Evelyn." Her smile grew.

She rushed over to me. She wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back. I sighed quietly and closed my eyes.

I could feel the tension in her body. I suddenly felt guilty for all the resentment and bad feelings I had toward her. "Mom."

"Yeah?"

I opened my eyes. "I'm sorry. I've been a really bad daughter."

She pulled back and stared at me. "No, you haven't. I've been a bad mom. I've ignored you and pushed you to the side. I'm sorry." She moved her hand to the side of my face. "I'm incredibly proud of the intelligent, amazing, and beautiful woman you've become. I hope you can forgive me and everything I've done. You know, I may not have been so great with you in the past, but I just... I was afraid of messing up. I didn't know how to handle two daughters. I should've been here for you. I'm so sorry."

The tears in my eyes had escaped. "Of course I forgive you."

She sighed. "I love you, Evelyn." She wiped the tears off my cheeks. "Thank you for coming home."

I smiled, "Thank you for convincing me."

She laughed softly. She kissed my forehead before hugging me again. I closed my eyes and breathed out slowly.

I didn't expect to forgive my mother for everything. But seeing her and being around her made the grudges feel so inconvenient. She has been trying. A lot harder than in the past, but she's still trying. There's nothing she could do that could make me hate her or that I deem unforgivable. At the end of the day, I need my mom.

I hugged her tighter. "I missed you."

She moved her hand to the back of my head. "I missed you too, Vale."

After our long hug, we ate breakfast. Caroline was with Elena. They were talking to Damon or something. But being without Care is fine because I have my mom.

"So, the dinner," I watched her as she finished putting the dishes in the dishwasher, "That's in three days, right?"

She glanced at me as she closed the dishwasher. "Yeah."

"You're not working?"

She turned to me. "No."

"Good."

"Did you decide if you're going back after or not?"

I stared at her for a minute. "I think I'll stay."

She smiled. "Good."

Her phone started ringing. She made her way over to the kitchen table where she left it. She sighed before answering the call that was presumably from work.

I crossed my arms and leaned back against the counter. She held onto the back of a chair with her other hand. Her knuckles were white. Actually, she looked more pale than usual. I looked up at her face. She looked uncomfortable.

She ended the call and slid her phone in her back pocket. She turned to me with a regretful look on her face. "That was the station. I have to go in."

I uncrossed my arms and pushed off the counter. "Why?" I felt like a kid again. Being pushed aside for her work.

She took a few steps closer. "A case that was supposed to be closed opened up again. They need me to come in and give my account."

I released the breath burdening my chest, sighing into my words, "Fine. What time will you be home?"

"Hopefully not too late, but this case is..." A sad look crossed her face. "It's a big case, Evelyn. I'll make it up to you."

I tilted my head. "Fine. I have work to catch up on anyway." I don't. I'm just going to review everything I've done and fix mistakes I know I've made.

It looked like words were on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't say them. I was the first to leave the kitchen. I made my way to my room, pushing the door shut behind me. I stared at the packed bags on my bed. I blew out a breath of air before tending to them, putting everything in its place.

After half an hour of unpacking, I was able to seat myself in a spot in my room. I was on the floor, my back against the window seat. Papers for different classes and assignments were organized to my liking. I put my black framed glasses on. I pulled my laptop closer. I picked up my pen and started writing notes.

There was knocking on the front door. I scrambled to finish the sentence I was writing. I pushed the book off my lap. I stood up and walked out of the room. The knocking sounded again. I walked down the hallway. I pulled the door open. Stefan shifted on his feet. He looked confused.

I held the doorknob tighter. "Hey."

"Glasses." He seemed intrigued.

I was confused for a few seconds. "Oh." I pulled them off of my face and folded them. I looked up at him. I don't remember him being so tall. "They help me focus. They're not actually -" I stopped myself from rambling. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for Caroline. She said she had something for me. She's not here?"

I shook my head once. "What was she giving you? I can get it for you."

He started to speak but clamped his mouth shut. "I'll just come back later."

"Are you sure?"

His eyes scanned my face. He didn't say anything.

"Stefan."

A look crossed his face that I hadn't seen before.

"Or you can look for it if you want." I pushed the door open and took a few steps back. "I'll leave the door open." I tossed my thumb over my shoulder. "I'll be in my room." I dropped my arm back to my side and spun around. I walked back up to my room. I left the door open. I walked back to my spot and sat down with a sigh.

My neck felt hot. I sat my glasses down and gathered my hair, pulling it off my neck and holding it against the back of my head. I closed my eyes and breathed out slowly.

I heard him clear his throat. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was standing in the doorway. His eyes moved from my organized mess to me. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

"Did you find it?" I let my hair fall, moving my hands to the floor.

He held up a small book. "Yeah."

I furrowed my brows and looked at the book. "What is it?"

He crossed the threshold into my room. "Just a book. What is all that?"

I looked back down at the papers in front of me. "I'm revising everything I've done this year." I grabbed my notebook and closed it. "Giving myself a headache and adding to my stress."

"Why?"

I closed my laptop. "I needed a distraction." I looked up at him as I grabbed a stack of papers.

"You could've called me."

I felt heat flood my body. What his words insinuated; I didn't know. But I could imagine the many, many ways he could distract me. I placed the stack of papers on top of another. "No. I couldn't." I looked back down at my academic failure as I piled it into one place.

"Why not?"

I laughed breathily. "That's a loaded question."

"What?"

I paused and looked up at him. "Nothing." I pushed myself to my feet. I crossed my arms.

He stared at me. He heard what I said, but he knows that if we start that conversation, I'll leave. He stepped closer. "If you still need a distraction, we could do something."

I let my head tilt to the side as my eyes traced the features of his face. His jaw was tight and sharp. His lips looked soft. My eyes moved to his. He was already staring into my eyes. My breath caught in my throat.

"Unless you want to stay here and keep doing work."

The slight drop in his voice made my stomach flip. "No." I was aware that my answer was entirely too fast. "We can... We can go out."

A smile spread across his lips. He glanced down at my body, "Good." His eyes found mine again.

-

I shot the 8 ball into the corner pocket and then stood up straight. I looked over at Stefan and pulled the pool stick against my body. He looked up from the table to me.

I tilted my head. "You were saying?"

He wore a smile as he nodded. "My apologies, princess."

The nickname made me blush. I remember the first time he called me that. It was the night Caroline had won prom queen. Stefan came up to me and said, "If she's queen, then that must make you princess." I didn't think the name would stick.

He walked closer. "I'm gonna get a drink. Do you want anything?" He handed his pool stick to me, and I took it.

I shook my head once. "I'm okay."

He smiled at me before walking to the bar. My eyes followed him most of the way.

"That your boyfriend?"

I turned my attention to the guy talking to me. He was tall and bigger than his voice made him seem. His deep blue eyes made my skin crawl, or rather the way he was pinning them on me. He was closer than I was comfortable with. I placed the sticks on the table.

"Come on, aren't you gonna answer me?" His hand grazed my arm.

The moment his skin made contact with mine, I felt nauseous. I watched as a hand grabbed the man's. I looked up to see Stefan in front of me now. He was facing the guy.

There were noises of pain escaping the stranger's lips as Stefan broke his hand. I watched as Stefan compelled the man. I was too in my head to hear a word he said.

He turned to me, and my eyes found his. I snapped out of my trance and found my voice. "Why did you do that?"

His brows furrowed. "Why wouldn't I?"

I tilted my head. "Don't deflect, Stefan. Why did you feel the need to do that?"

"Come on, Ev, you know why!"

I felt my stomach drop. I shook my head once. "No," I whispered. I swallowed.

He tilted his head, "I wasn't going to let someone hurt you."

"He wasn't hurting me. He was hitting on me. You just broke his hand."

"For good reason!"

I sighed and stepped back. I held my hands up. "Forget I said anything. I'm going home." I started to walk away.

He grabbed my wrist. "Evelyn."

I turned to face him. I stared at his hand, wrapped tightly around my wrist. It was basically the first time he's touched me. I looked up to his face, and he was staring at me deeply.

"Why are you so upset?" His voice was a whisper.

It was like my heart stopped. "I'm not doing this. Let go of me."

"You'll leave."

"That's kind of the point."

He loosened his hand and then slid it to mine. I looked down at our hands as he slid his fingers through mine. A quiet sigh fell from my lips as he squeezed lightly.

"I'm sorry. Just tell me what's wrong, Ev."

I felt tears prick at my eyes. I guess I'm not over him. This break is going to put me through hell. I sucked in a breath of air. I looked up at his eyes. I tried to speak, but the words were stuck in my throat. His eyes were trained on mine.

"Evelyn." It was so quiet I almost didn't hear my name leave his lips.

I pulled my hand from his. "Thank you for distracting me."

He opened his mouth to speak, but I turned away. I walked out of the restaurant. I stared at the ground as I walked home.

I shut the front door. My phone started ringing. I pulled it out of my pocket and answered Caroline's call.

"Hey, Vale. I didn't remember until just now, but Stefan was supposed to stop by and pick up something I borrowed. Did he ever get it?"

"Yeah." I inhaled shakily. "He, um, he got it. I let him go into your room and get it." I started walking up to my room.

"Are... Are you okay? You sound like you're crying."

I swallowed thickly. "It's just - Being back here is bringing back a lot of memories and... feelings." I carried myself to my bed and sat down. I told her what happened at the Grill.

"I'll be there soon."

"No, you don't have to -"

"Too late. I'm in my car. I'm hanging up now."

Before I could say anything else, she hung up. I tossed my phone on the bed. I pushed my shoes off and then laid down. I pulled my pillow to my chest, hugging it tightly.

Caroline showed up an hour later. She climbed in bed behind me and wrapped her arms around me. She talked to me about how boys are stupid and things like this happen and to not let it get to me. We laid like that for a few hours.

-

The two days that followed were spent getting caught up with everyone. But not Bonnie. No one has even mentioned her. I've yet to bring her up because I'm scared of the answer. The last time I didn't know where she was, she died. Well, one of the times she died.

I watched Caroline finish the wing of her eyeliner. "And you're sure he's not going to be there?"

She sighed and sat the eyeliner down. "I told you yesterday. Damon, Ric, and Stefan aren't coming. They're busy."

"Doing what exactly? You weren't very specific with the details."

She looked over her shoulder at me. "Stop asking questions and go get your shoes on."

I stood up. "Why are we having dinner at Damon and Stefan's if they're not going to be there?"

"Because, Evelyn! This was planned before they made those plans."

"What plans?!"

"Out! We're leaving in five!"

I groaned and walked out. I walked into my room. I pulled on my boots. They were black. They matched the turtleneck I was wearing. This skirt that accompanied the tights was gray plaid. I walked to the standing mirror and adjusted my hair. The front two pieces that framed my face were out of my ponytail.

"We're leaving, Evelyn!"

I grabbed my phone. "Coming!" I followed her out of the house, tugging at the bottom of the skirt.

She looked back at me, "Stop it."

I looked up at her, "No!"

She stopped and turned to me. "You're messing up your outfit!"

I rolled my eyes and stood up straight. "Fine!"

She sighed and walked to the driver seat. I got in the backseat because mom is in the passenger seat. I buckled up. Caroline drove us to the boarding house. The entire time, she was telling me what to do if something had happened, but I didn't care enough to listen to any of it. I pulled out my phone and checked the message from Ryan.

Ryan:

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Me:

Happy Thanksgiving!

Ryan:

You're very boring! Use all caps.

Me:

NO!

Ryan:

THAT'S MORE LIKE IT!!!

Me:

I hope you know I'm rolling my eyes.

Ryan:

I can make them roll further if you want. ;)

Me:

I'm blocking you.

Ryan:

KIDDING! Lighten up, Evie.

Me:

Can't. Too busy.

Ryan:

You've got jokes now??

Me:

So do you, apparently.

Ryan:

How's everything going? Did Stefan do anything else stupid?

Me:

I wouldn't know. I'm avoiding him. Everything's fine, though.

Ryan:

I wish you would've let me come. I really wanna punch the jackass in the face.

Me:

No violence policy at Thanksgiving.

Ryan:

That's stupid.

Me:

Not when it comes to my family. Gtg. XX

Ryan:

Stay safe, Ev. XX

"Who are you texting?"

I turned my phone off and looked at Caroline. "No one."

She eyed my phone for a minute before turning around.

I opened my door and got out. I adjusted my skirt and then fixed my hair.

"Evelyn, stop it!"

I rolled my eyes and started walking away from Caroline. I pushed the front door open. Elena and, who I assume is Jo, are sitting together on the couch talking. Tyler is in front of the fireplace talking to Matt. There's a curly blonde woman standing next to a blonde guy. They look like twins. They're talking to each other, and they seem tense.

I walked further into the house. I stopped short as Damon stepped in front of me. I took a step back as I looked up to meet his eyes. There was a smile on his face.

"Evelyn."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why are you here?"

"I live here."

I felt someone's hand on my elbow. I looked over to see my mom. "I told him he had to be here." She looked at Damon and smiled before walking away.

I looked at him again. "But if you're here..."

He smiled evilly. "Happy Thanksgiving."

I suddenly felt sick. I walked past him, going into the kitchen. I walked up to Caroline. She turned to me. She shoved a few bottles of alcohol into my arms.

"Take this to the dining room."

"You told me he wasn't here."

She furrowed her eyebrows, "He's not supposed to be."

I tilted my head. "Well, he is."

She sighed and looked at the door, then at me. "Just try to stay away from him. I have to deal with something." She pointed to the bottles. "Dining room."

I started to protest, but she was already out of the room. I took a moment and then a breath. It's not a big deal if I don't make it into one. I can lie. I have that ability. Right? I looked down where my necklace should've been. Okay. I can be compelled. That's... fine.

I walked backward into the door, pushing it open. I held onto the bottles tightly. I turned and walked into someone. I felt their hands grab my arms and press closer, keeping the bottle from falling. I looked up to see Stefan's face. All of my thoughts left my brain. My breath caught in my throat.

"Let me help you."

I stared at his face, watching him focus on carefully removing some of the bottles from my hold. He looked into my eyes. He started walking, and I instinctively followed him.

I stood a few feet away from him. He sat his bottles down on a table, then turned to me. He stepped closer. He grabbed two of the bottles from me, leaving me with one. I hugged it to my body as he turned away. He turned back to me. His eyes moved from mine to the bottle. A smile formed on his lips. He looked into my eyes.

His smile faltered. "Evelyn. I'm sorry about the other day. I was... I don't know. I thought you needed my help, so I stepped in. I handled it poorly."

I opened my mouth to say something, but my words were gone. I closed my eyes and pressed my lips together. I opened my eyes again. "It's okay. Really. I understand why you did it."

He stepped closer. "Why were you so upset?"

I tilted my head slightly. "What?"

"You were crying. Why were you crying?"

I stared at him blankly. I squeezed the bottle tighter as I swallowed the lump in my throat. "I'm... Or at least I think I-" I sighed. I would never be able to tell him. For him to not have figured it out by now, he must be the most oblivious person on the planet.

He tilted his head. "You can tell me, Evelyn."

I scoffed, "Sure."

He furrowed his brows. "Why do you say that?"

"Because! I can't just say how I feel. It will ruin everything I have. Everything we have. I can't just say this because it's more complicated than you can understand."

He pulled his hands out of his pockets and grabbed the bottle of wine from me. I stared at him in confusion. He turned and put it on the table.

He turned back to me, "Evelyn, come on. You know me. You've known me for years. What could be so bad that it would change everything between us? Whatever it is, we can figure it out." He waited for me to say something, and when I didn't, he continued. "Or you could keep it to yourself, and we can forget this happened and go back to normal."

I didn't like either of those options. "No."

He sighed and crossed his arms. "What do you want then, Evelyn?"

"I don't know!"

He tilted his head. "Then what am I supposed to do?"

"I don't know."

He uncrossed his arms. He grabbed my shoulders and stared into my eyes. "Just tell me what you want. I can't stand when you hate me." His eyes dropped to my lips. "I need us to be normal, Evelyn." He looked back up to my eyes. "I need you... to be normal." There was a huge pause after you, and it made my heart ache. "I'll do anything for you, just tell me what you need."

I put my hands on his arms. "You can't give me what I need, Stef. I don't want you to."

He stepped closer. Our bodies were inches from each other. He moved his hands to my face. "Evelyn, please. Tell me what you want from me." His eyes bored into mine, making me freeze.

I moved my hands to his wrists. "I told you. You can't give me what I need. You won't. I'm not going to put you in a position neither of us wants you to be in. So please," I pulled his hands away. "Drop it."

He had a pained look on his face. He slid his hands to mine. "Please, Ev."

I looked down at our hands. He threaded his fingers through mine. "Stefan."

"Evelyn."

I looked up at his face. The look on his face was something else entirely. It was a look of primal need. His lips were parted. His eyes stared deeply into mine.

It took everything in me to tear myself away from him. I stared at the floor as I walked out of the room. I walked straight outside, going out the backdoor. I took a deep breath. I felt like I was being choked by lust. If I weren't so scared to act on my feelings toward him, my clothes would've been on the floor in an instant. I closed my eyes and took a few breaths.

I walked back inside. I could hear Caroline calling everyone to the dining room. I breathed out slowly before making my way into the room. My mom sat at one end of the table, and Ric sat at the other. I sat across from Caroline. We were both sitting by our mom. Fortunately, Stefan decided to sit beside Damon, who was sitting beside Ric. I could still feel his eyes on me, though.

Thankfully, no one cared that I drank, or else this would be an unfortunate night.

I downed half of the wine in my glass before I ate anything. Which is a mistake. I don't want to eat. I feel too frustrated.

"So, have you talked to your father?"

I looked at my mom. "Why would I indulge myself in conversations with him?"

"Because he's your father. You may not like him, but he's still your dad."

I sat my glass down on the table. "No. He's not. He never has been. He's just some guy you happened to sleep with one time and got pregnant. He didn't want me. I'm just returning the favor."

"Evelyn, your father loves you."

I scoffed, "Yeah, the judge sure didn't think that."

She tilted her head. "All I'm asking you to do is say hi. The man gave you life. The least you can do is talk to him."

"No, you gave me life. He may have had a part in making me, but he hasn't been here a day in my life other than to try to insert himself into my life after I made something of it. Any energy I spend talking about him, let alone thinking about him, is wasted. He's a horrible father, he was a horrible husband, and he's a worthless, waste of space, son of a bitch. The only thing he can do for me is walk off a cliff because everyone knows he's too stupid to know how to jump."

She stared at me blankly.

"That's a little harsh, Ev."

I rolled my eyes at Tyer's remark. I looked at Caroline before getting up. I stormed out of the room. I felt a weight settle over me. I stopped in the foyer and put my hands on my hips. I closed my eyes and swallowed. I took a few breaths. I bowed my head.

I felt guilty. For everything. Talking like that to my mom. Making things weird with Stefan. Being rude to Damon earlier. Coming back and being a burden to everyone.

I felt arms slide through mine, wrapping around me. He pulled me against his chest. I exhaled slowly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I opened my eyes and inhaled sharply. He held me tighter.

"I'll take you home," Stefan whispered.

I pushed up on my toes as I hugged him tighter. "Thank you."

He just hugged me tighter.

-

By the time he got me home, the alcohol had gone to my head. He helped me out of the car, then to the door. I stumbled back as I flipped through my keys. He put his hands firmly on my hips, holding me still. I moaned softly, feeling his fingers pressed against my body.

I unlocked the door and pushed it open. I leaned back against him, dreading walking. I felt his firm body pressed against mine. He sighed softly.

"Evelyn."

I opened my eyes and lifted my head. I put my hands on his wrists. I slowly moved one foot after the other. Then the other. Then the other. Then I reached the steps. I looked up to the top step. I felt tears in my eyes.

"It's so far away," I whined.

He sighed. I felt him spin me around. My eyes met his face. Even in the dark house I could see how perfect he looked. He moved his hands to mine. He pulled them to the back of his neck. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself closer to him. He moved his hands to the backs of my thighs and lifted me. I hooked my legs around his waist. I held onto him tightly.

My nose rested against his neck. I inhaled deeply. He smelled nice. I nestled closer, my lips ghosted over his neck. I felt him pull my legs from around his waist, setting my feet on the ground. He pulled my arms from around his neck and I opened my eyes. I pulled my head back and looked up into his eyes.

He stared at me for a minute. "Do you feel okay?"

"No."

He sighed softly. "What is it?"

I felt a lump in my throat. "I wouldn't want to bore you with the details."

His hands were still touching mine. "Evelyn."

I ignored the tears in my eyes. "I'm not really able to function right now. It's very easy for me to get all of my emotions mixed up. It's better for me not to say anything, especially not to you. Thank you for bringing me home. You... You should go home."

He stared at me for a moment. He looked like he was choking on his words. He pulled his ringing phone out of his pocket and glanced at the screen before putting it to his ear.

"Yeah," He answered. He got a confused look on his face before speaking again.

My vision blurred as my ears started ringing. I pulled my hand from his and walked the short distance to my bed. I fell forward onto the soft surface. I moved higher onto the bed and rolled to my back. I rested my hands on my stomach. I could feel my headache now more than ever.

I moved my hands to my head and covered my closed eyes. The pounding in my head was louder than his talking. This is why I don't drink.

"Evelyn."

I didn't move. "Will you take my shoes off?"

"Yeah," He said softly.

I heard his footsteps. I felt his hand lift my leg off the bed. He took off my shoe then gently laid my leg back on the bed. He did the same with my other. I raised up on my elbows after moving my hands to the bed. I looked up at him. He stood at the edge of my bed. He was staring down at me.

"Are you leaving?" I tried to mask the sadness in my voice.

"Do you want me to stay?" Even in the dim light, I could read the expression on his face. It matched the soft and caring tone in his voice.

I know he has better things to do. I know he should leave. I know I should say no. I want to say yes.

"You shouldn't."

"Do you want me to?" His voice was firmer.

The debate in my mind would go on for hours if I let it. "Yes," I whispered.

His expression softened.

I moved over and laid back. I watched him lay beside me. He looked over at me. I rolled to my side and looked deeper into his eyes. His eyes slowly moved from my right eye to my left to my lips. As his eyes met mine, I gasped quietly. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest.

He turned to his side, raising up on his arm. I laid on my back. His face was inches from mine. I looked at his lips, staring at them for a few seconds. I looked back up to his eyes.

His lips parted. He leaned closer. I felt his lips press against mine. I felt too shocked to react at first. I felt his hand press gently against my neck, sliding to rest at my jaw. His fingers brushed against my scalp. My skin felt hot as I kissed him back. I moved my hands to his chest.

My brain felt numb, but my body felt alive. Every part of me felt warm. There were alarms going off in my head telling me to stop and push him away. But everything about this felt so good.

His arm on the bed slid closer to my body. I gripped his shirt, tugging him closer. His lips paused against mine and he pulled his head back. His eyes met mine. There was a passing look of regret that he tried to hide. I let go of his shirt, a short breath escaping my parted lips.

"Sorry." His brows were furrowed. He shook his head once. He avoided meeting my gaze now. "I shouldn't have done that." He moved away from me and stood up off the bed.

I moved my hands to my face. I was stupid to think he would want this too. I moved my hands to the bed and pushed myself to sit up. I looked at him. His hand was covering his mouth and his other was on his hip. His eyes were closed, his head was turned down.

I looked at the bed. I crossed my arms over my stomach. I felt nauseous. I could feel the tightness of my ponytail that I forgot about. I reached for the hair tie and pulled it off. I slipped it on my wrist then pushed my fingers through my hair. I tucked my hair behind my ears. I bent my legs up and wrapped my arms around them. I hugged them to my chest. I looked up at Stefan again.

He dropped his arms to his sides then looked over at me. His lips parted and he released a breath of air. He sat down and looked into my eyes.

"I'm sorry."

I felt tears in my eyes. I shook my head once. "Don't say that."

He tilted his head. "You know we can't be together, Ev."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. "Why," I choked out.

He lifted his hand, resting it at the side of my face. "You don't deserve what you would go through. I'm bad for you."

"No."

"Yes." He nodded. He wiped the tear off my cheek. He stared at me for a moment. He looked deep into my eyes. "Evelyn-"

"No." I pushed his hand away. "Please don't do this."

He squeezed my hand and leaned closer. "It will hurt more if I don't, sweetheart."

I inhaled sharply. He's right. Letting him compel me is easier for both of us and less painful. For me anyway. I let go of his hand.

He smiled softly before moving his hand back to the side of my face. His eyes stare deeply into mine as he speaks. "When you wake up, you won't remember what happened between us tonight. I drove you home because you were upset. I stayed with you until you fell asleep."

I closed my eyes. A tear escaped through my lashes. His lips pressed softly to my temple as his thumb wiped the tear from my cheek.

I felt his touch leave my skin. I know he left. But I don't want to believe it. I opened my eyes slowly. He wasn't in front of me anymore. I whined softly. I laid back, covering my face with my hands. A wave of exhaustion washed over me.

I rolled to my side facing away from my bedroom door. I closed my eyes and hugged myself.

Not only was I rejected, but I was rejected after we kissed. At least now I know what he thinks of me. Until I wake up in the morning, that is.