14

If only everyone could see the normal side of him and not the murderous side. He's funny and charming. Of course, I would never tell him that. His ego is already big enough.

"So..." He looked up from the couch to my face. "What happens when you get a boyfriend?"

I lifted my head off the back of the couch, "Then we don't do things together anymore."

He tilted his head, "Seriously?"

I moved my legs to sit criss-cross. "Seriously. I'm not cheating on someone with you."

"You consider it cheating?"

"Yes! Sleeping with someone else while you're in a committed relationship is cheating."

"Just sleeping with them or..."

I moved my hands to my knees. "Kissing other people, doing sexual things with other people, hiding things you do with other people from your partner are all considered cheating."

"Okay," he sighed.

I looked behind him at the window. The sun was starting to set. "What time is it?" I looked at him.

He lifted his phone and turned it on. "5:20." He looked at me as he dropped his phone back on the couch. "Why?"

"I should go."

He shook his head, "No, you really shouldn't."

I tried to fight the smile that spread across my lips. "They're probably looking for me." I put my hand on the back of the couch, "If I don't leave, I'll have to answer their stupid questions, and then they'll find out about us." I started to stand up.

He grabbed my hips. I squealed as he pulled me onto his lap. I put my hands on his shoulders. He looked up at me. "Stay."

I moved my hands to his face. "I can't."

He rocked my hips forward. I opened my mouth to say something, but I couldn't say anything. "Yes, you can."

I moved my hands to his. "I have things I need to do."

He tilted his head, "Yeah, I know. I'm all of those things."

I pulled his hands off of me. "Kai -"

He interrupted me by raising up off the back of the couch and kissing me. He moved his hands to my waist, holding me firmly against him. I put my hands on his arms. He pulled back as I leaned in. I whimpered softly as he pulled away from the kiss. His lips were centimeters from mine. I kept my eyes closed.

"Stay," he whispered.

I moved my hand to the side of his face and opened my eyes. "It's a bad idea."

"Our whole thing is a bad idea." He looked at my lips, "At least this way, we can't be caught."

"We could absolutely be caught. They can do a locator spell, and they can track my phone."

"So, turn it off." His voice was low and demanding.

The voice in my head warning me to leave was becoming quieter every millisecond. But it never went silent. "I'm leaving before things get worse."

"Evelyn," He looked into my eyes. There was a desperate look on his face. I felt like if I were pulled away from him, I would collapse.

I tilted my head, "I hate you so much."

He smiled and kissed me. "I know."

...

Last night felt like the first time everything was clear, and I actually knew what was happening around me. We stayed up talking, and then we fell asleep. We slept next to each other, but we didn't touch each other. After getting dressed, I left. He begged me to stay, and I almost gave in.

I checked my phone to see 15 missed calls from different people and a bunch of texts. I ignored them all. I debated on going back inside and just avoiding everything.

In what world is Kai Parker my escape from reality?

I drove home and sat in my car for a few minutes. From the looks of it, no one's here. But that doesn't mean that no one is actually here. There could be 12 people in this house, and I wouldn't know until I'm inside.

I took a deep breath before getting out. I walked to the house. No lights were on. I shut the door behind me and sat my keys on the table. I walked further into the house. I walked into the living room and turned on the light. "Hello?"

There was no response. I sighed and walked out of the living room. I made my way to my room. I pushed the door shut. I kicked my shoes off before climbing in bed. I exhaled slowly. My body feels sore from the physical activity I endured at Kai's. The feeling of him inside me suddenly entered my mind. I gasped softly and pressed my thighs together.

I should've stayed.

...

I was questioned vigorously by Caroline. I fended off her comments and concerns by making remarks about how she's done the same thing a few times before. She got quiet after. Stefan apologized for what he said to me. I forgave him. I didn't want to, but I did anyway. It's better for me not to harbor any negative feelings toward anyone. We'll go right back to arguing with each other once his suspicions are confirmed. He promised me he would never say anything to anyone about Kai calling me.

Kai hasn't tried to reach out to me at all in the last six days. It's concerning and upsetting. The last time we saw each other, he was begging me to stay, and he couldn't keep his hands off of me. Now, he's not responding to my texts. He hasn't even read them. I feel stupid for believing he wasn't using me. I thought we had something.

I checked my phone once more before putting on my dress. I curled my hair, and I already did my makeup. The only thing I'm wearing is waterproof mascara and lip-gloss. The dress stopped just above my knees. It was form fitting at the top, and the skirt flared out. The sleeves were long, and the neckline was scooped. I walked to my jewelry box and opened it. I pulled out the necklace my mom gave me before I left for school. It was a silver chain with a silver butterfly charm. The back was engraved with the words: I love you.

There was a knock on my door. I swallowed the lump in my throat before turning. I held my hands together behind my back. "Yeah?"

My door opened slowly. Stefan's eyes traveled up to mine from my shoes. "Are you ready?"

That's a loaded question. "I think so," I answered quietly. He looked like he wanted to say sorry. "I'll be down in a minute."

He nodded once. He pulled the door shut behind him. I walked to my phone and picked it up. I held it tightly in my hand. I made my way down to Stefan. I walked out first. I stopped at the top of the steps. I looked at the sky. It's not dark and gloomy. The sun is shining brightly. The weather isn't as dreadfully cold as it has been. I took a shaky breath. The heels on my feet were a little painful, but they were a gift from her.

After a moment of thinking. I was followed by Stefan to his car. I'm not allowed to drive today. That's what everyone's said. Caroline isn't either, but she's been with Elena and Bonnie since last night. I told her I wanted to be alone. She didn't want to leave me alone, but I convinced her.

I stared out the glass and watched the road as Stefan drove. The pit in my stomach is only growing deeper.

I felt the car stop, then turn off. He grabbed my hand and slid his fingers between mine. I stared at the funeral home. I've been here a few times, but none of those times has felt so bitter.

"I'm not ready." The tears in my eyes blurred my vision.

"You don't have to be."

My chest felt tight. I looked at him. "I can't do this," I whispered.

He pulled my hand to his chest and stared into my eyes. "Take a deep breath, Ev."

I looked at his hand wrapped around mine. I took a deep breath and then exhaled slowly.

"I'll stay with you until you're ready."

I looked into his eyes. "You don't have to."

He nodded once, "I want to."

I felt my heart skip. He's staying with me. He's always stayed with me. I looked at the funeral again. People were walking in.

The car was filled with silence. His thumb rubbed the back of my hand gently. My mind was empty as I watched the building. My heart has been beating rampantly in my chest. There's twenty minutes left of the funeral. I don't want to go in, but I know my mom would want me to.

"Okay," I broke the silence.

He let go of my hand. We got out. I left my phone in the car. I walked to the front of the car where he was waiting. He held his hand out to me, and I took hold of it. We walked slowly to the door. He pushed the door open. I let go of his hand as I walked inside. I kept my footsteps as quiet as possible.

He walked close behind me. I stood at the end of the aisle. Damon was at the podium, speaking. His eyes found me. He stopped speaking for a few seconds and then continued on. I tuned out his speech as I took in the area. The pews were full, and there were people standing along the walls. I could see Caroline by Elena in the front row. She looked up at Damon as he said something directed toward her.

I felt Stefan's hand on my lower back as he leaned closer. "It's okay, Evelyn."

I let go of the breath I was holding. I swallowed the fear that was lodged in my throat. No one here is mad at me for not showing up at the beginning. No one hates me for 'interrupting'.

I watched as the preacher replaced Damon. He stepped to the microphone. "Now a few words from Elizabeth's daughter Evelyn."

I knew I was supposed to speak, but I didn't expect it to feel so real. I especially didn't expect to have everyone's eyes on me as I walked down the aisle to the podium. I kept my head up straight and held my hands together behind my back. I accepted the hug from the preacher. He offered his condolences, and I accepted them. I pushed my hair behind my ears as I stared at the podium. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I held my hands against my stomach. I looked up after taking a breath. I took in the crowd.

"Hi." I felt the tears in my eyes easing away. "Most of you know that I'm a really emotional person. It's usually anger, but it occasionally changes." There were a few laughs from the group. I took a few seconds to gather my words. "I don't really think I'm qualified enough to say something. Not because I can't speak in front of people but because I can't speak for my mother. She was a wonderful, kind woman who only wanted peace for everyone she knew. And I could never really see that or understand it. She was an amazing mom, and I'm so glad she was mine because she gave me everything I could ever need. I wasn't the best daughter, though. She would ask me to do things, and I said no just to say it." I moved my hand to the charm on my necklace. "Before I left for college, she told me that I always had a home here. I rolled my eyes and told her that I knew that. She was lying. Mystic Falls isn't my home. She is." Was. I bit my tongue to stop more tears from forming. Bile crept into my throat as the feeling of nausea washed over me. "And when I got back -" I looked down at the platform. I looked back up after the tears had fallen from my eyes. "I had only planned to come back for a week. She asked me to stay until Christmas." I swallowed the lump in my throat. "And I didn't -" I sighed. "I didn't realize why. She didn't want me to." I clasped my hands together and held them in front of my body. "I was really mad at her until I understood why. She didn't want my visit to be about her. She wanted me to enjoy myself and rediscover the things I left behind. She wanted me to have support because I wouldn't have her."

I felt like my lungs were closing. My head felt light. Everything looked doubled. I stepped away from the podium. I stepped down from the platform. I quickly made my way out of the building. I gasped for air as soon as I was outside to try to fill my lungs. Tears ran down my cheeks.

"Evelyn." Stefan cupped my face in his hands and made me look at him.

"I'm sorry, I can't -"

He shook his head, "Don't apologize. It's okay."

I grabbed the jacket of his suit. "I can't be in there."

"You don't have to be."

I looked at my hands as I slid them to his chest. "I tried so hard, but I just couldn't."

He swiped his thumbs across my cheek, wiping at the tears under my eyes. "You did so good, princess. She would be so proud of you."

I swallowed the lump in my throat. I looked at his face. There was hurt in his eyes. I felt calmer. I stepped closer, wrapping my arms around him. The side of my face rested against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, his hands were on the sides of my body. I closed my eyes for a minute, letting the sinking feeling in my body go away. He soothed something in me that no one else ever could.

...

I stared at the glass of water in front of me. Water beads were slowly rolling down the outside of the cup. My eyes felt dry from crying earlier.

After the funeral, everyone decided to go to the Mystic Grill. I didn't feel like being alone, so I tagged along.

"I'll be right back."

I looked at Stefan. He moved out of the other side of the booth. I turned my attention back to the water rolling down the cup.

"Hey, Ev." I looked over to see Matt. He offered a smile.

"Hey," I responded.

He was in a suit, but he didn't have his tie on. "I didn't get a chance to talk to you at the funeral."

"No one did," I responded. "Don't take it personally." I recognized the tone of my voice. I sat up and turned my body to face him. "That sounded really bitchy. I'm sorry."

He pressed his lips together and shook his head. "It's okay. It didn't really."

I sighed. "Did you need something?"

He shook his head again. "I just wanted to let you know I'm here for you."

I nodded once. "Thank you."

He took a breath. "Can I get you anything?"

"I'll let you know. Thanks, Matt."

"No problem." He walked away.

I turned back to the table. I sat up straight and pulled my hair back off my shoulders then tucked it behind my ears.

"Evvy." I hadn't heard that voice or name in forever. I looked over to see my father. His hair is grayer and he's slimmer. He has more wrinkles. "I know I'm probably the last person you expected to see but I just... Can I sit?"

I was hesitant to answer. I don't want to see him. I don't want to be around him. "What are you doing here?" My voice is quiet.

"I wanted to see you and check on you. I heard about your mom. I heard you up there talking about her and-"

"I don't want you here."

He furrowed his brows. "Evelyn." He put his hand against his body. "I'm your father." He laughed softly.

I shook my head once. "You left us. The only thing that you are to me is dead."

He looked hurt and confused. "I'm... I'm sorry for everything and-" He sighed. He nodded, accepting that this conversation was over before it even started.

I watched him walk out of the restaurant. I exhaled shakily. I watched as Caroline walked to the door. She grabbed her coat and put it on. Elena talked to her with a concerned expression on her face. Caroline had a smile on her face. After a minute or two, she hugged Elena then left. I looked at the water again. I wondered when I had gotten it.

The noise in the restaurant became significantly louder. There were laughs that found their way to my ears. It felt like a sick joke. I moved out of my seat and stood up. I adjusted the skirt of my dress.

"Where are you going?"

I turned and looked at Stefan. "I just need a minute. I'll be back."

He stepped closer. "Will you be okay alone?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I stared at him for a moment before walking away.

The moment I stepped outside, the cool air made me shiver. I started walking down the sidewalk. I slid my hands into the pockets of my dress and stared in front of me as I walked.

I heard whistling. I stopped immediately. I turned my head toward the street. As if it were a horror movie, wind whistled as it blew toward me, blowing a strand of hair into my face. I pulled my hands out of my pockets. I pushed my hair back behind my ears.

The whistling came from behind me. I felt my heart racing. I turned quickly as footsteps walked up behind me. I jumped, feeling startled by seeing another person. I breathed out in relief seeing Kai's face. He was laughing.

I punched his arm, "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He put his hands up in front of him in defense. "I thought it was funny," He said through a laugh.

I rolled my eyes and turned away, starting to walk again. "I thought you were a murderer."

"Hey," he put his hand on my arm as he walked up beside me. I avoided looking at his face as he continued talking. "What are you doing out here? Shouldn't you be with the people inside or something?"

"Shouldn't you be off doing whatever had you avoiding me?"

"I didn't mean to avoid you, that just kind of... happened."

I rolled my eyes. "I thought you said you wouldn't lie."

He rushed in front of me and grabbed my arms. He stared down at me. "I'm not lying. I was busy dealing with magic stuff. Avoiding you wasn't my goal."

"What were you doing?"

He opened his mouth to speak, "You'll find out later."

I tilted my head, "You aren't supposed to be murdering people either."

"I didn't. You'll know what happened when everyone else knows. No one was murdered and no one was hurt." He moved his hand to my jaw, tilting my head up as he stepped closer. "If you think I chose not to be around you every single day, not to be inside you every day, then you're just as crazy as the next person."

"I don't believe you."

He looked at my lips. "Let me prove it to you then."

I tilted my head. "How?"

He looked around. He grabbed my hands and pulled me toward the side of the building. There are a few streetlights, but none are directly facing us. He backed me against the brick wall. He cupped my face in his hands, tilting my head back. He leaned down. I put my hands on his forearms.

"What if someone sees?"

He kissed me. "Just trust me, baby."

At the moment his logic feels inarguable. He started kissing me faster. I arched off the wall, bending into his body. He moved his hand from the side of my face. He put his hand on the outer side of my thigh, sliding under my dress. He slid his hand up my thigh slowly. I struggled to keep kissing him.

He wasted no time sliding his hand into my panties. I moaned as he rubbed two fingers along my pussy. He circled my clit a few times, causing me to stop breathing. I put my hands on his chest, gripping his shirt in my hands. He slid two fingers into me quickly, making me gasp. He stopped kissing me to let me catch my breath. He curled his fingers deep inside me, hitting the spot he needed to. I pressed my head back against the wall.

He curled his fingers again, hitting the same place. He repeated the motion several times. My walls closed around his fingers as I came. I moaned loudly. He kissed the base of my neck. He started a trail of kisses up my neck, leading to my ear. His lips hovered over my ear.

"Now do you believe me?"

I moaned softly. He pulled back as he slid his hand out of my panties. I whined. He knelt down in front of me and pulled my panties off. I gasped as he covered my pussy with his mouth. I slapped my hand over my mouth to muffle the sounds that escaped. He swirled his tongue around my clit before moving his tongue to every place he could reach. His hands were gripping my thighs tightly. He moaned, making me want to collapse.

I moved my hand to his hair. He sucked me a few times. I came again. I shut my eyes tightly. He swallowed every drop of cum that spilled out of me. I dropped my hand from my mouth and opened my eyes as he pulled away from me. He stood up. I looked up at his face as he stepped closer.

"I believed you. You didn't have to do that," I whispered breathlessly.

He looked at my lips. "I wanted to."

"Are you going to keep my panties every single time?"

He smiled and looked into my eyes. "Without a doubt."

I shook my head, laughing softly. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I could taste myself on his lips. I placed my hands against his chest.

He pulled away. "I'll see you soon."

I pushed off the wall. "How soon?"

He smiled. "Goodbye, Evelyn."

I huffed out a breath of air. I stood there for a minute until the ability to walk came back to me. I walked away from him slowly. My thighs were slightly shaking. I smoothed my hand over the back of my hair. I walked into the Grill again. I stopped at the door. I looked for Stefan.

I walked to the bar where he was standing next to Damon. They both looked at me.

"Where were you?" Damon asked.

I looked at him, "Making a drug deal."

He furrowed his brows, "You know you can answer like a normal person, right?"

"Mhm." I looked at Stefan. "Can we go?"

The smile didn't fade from his face. "Yeah." He pushed off the bar. He looked at Damon.

I turned and walked toward the door. Stefan followed a few steps behind. Once we were out of the restaurant we walked side by side.

The ride to my house was silent. He parked the car. I got out and he followed. He walked a few steps behind me. I pushed the door open and walked inside. He followed. I turned to face him. His hands were in his pockets. He stared at me with an expectant look on his face.

I took a short breath. "Thank you for being there today."

He tilted his head. "You don't have to thank me."

I nodded, "Yes, I do. I've been horrible to you and you just..." I shook my head, "Thank you."

He offered a small smile and nodded once. The calm expression on his face stayed for only a few seconds. His brows furrowed as a contemplative look covered his face. "I need to talk to you about something, Ev."

I tilted my head, "Okay," I answered hesitantly.

He stepped closer, taking a breath. He looked over into the living room. His face went blank. I looked over. Elena was lying unconscious on the ground. We both rushed over to her. He knelt down. He checked for a pulse.

He looked up at me. "She came here after Caroline." He stood up. "Stay with her while I look for her."

Before I could protest, he took off down the hallway. I knelt down beside Elena. I brushed her hair out of her face. I picked up her hand, holding it.

I looked up at Stefan as he came back into the room. "Is she here?"

He shook his head. He held his phone to the side of his face. A few seconds later he spoke. "Someone snapped Elena's neck and Caroline's missing."

I looked back down at Elena. I let the possibilities run through my mind of what could've happened.

"Damon's on his way."

I looked up at Stefan. "What do you think happened?"

He sighed as he put his phone back in his pocket. His eyes lingered on Elena. I stood up and took a step toward him. "I'll be right back. Try to call her."

The look on his face questioned what I was doing. I ignored it and walked up to my room. I walked to my closet. I pulled on another pair of panties. I breathed a sigh of relief. I adjusted my dress before making my way back downstairs.

Stefan was sitting on the floor next to Elena. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the doorframe. He looked up at me. "She didn't answer."

I looked at Elena. I thought about what could've happened. I thought about how Stefan was feeling. "When did you fall out of love with her?" I looked at him.

"What?"

I lifted my head off the doorframe. "You had to have fallen out of love with her at some point. When was it?"

He looked at Elena. He thought for a moment. "After I realized she was in love with Damon, I kind of forced myself to move on." He looked up at me.

I uncrossed my arms and stepped into the living room. "Do you hate them for it?"

"No," he answered slowly.

I walked to the couch and sat down. "No hard feelings?"

"Why are you asking about all of this?"

I looked down at my hands. "I'm trying to... figure out how to move on from you." I looked at him. "How did you do it?"

He tilted his head, "Honestly?"

I nodded once. "Yes."

"I avoided them for a while until I knew I could handle it without killing someone. While I did that I drank and had sex."

I tilted my head, "Well, I've tried all of those and it's not working."

"You had sex?"

I laughed softly. "You sound surprised."

"No, I'm just confused. Who was it?"

I furrowed my brows, "Why would I tell you?"

"Because we're friends. Friends talk."

"Okay..." I slid my hands under my legs. "I don't really think now is the best time for you to hear about it."

He looked confused. "Why not?"

I started to speak, but I couldn't think of anything to say. I sighed. "It's complicated and confusing. We also made a deal and... It's complicated."

He laughed softly, "A deal?"

I realized that could easily lead to the answer. I moved my hands to my knees. "Mm. Actually-"

"What kind of deal involves-" he paused. His face was twisted in confusion as he thought. He pushed himself to stand. He crossed his arms. "What did you get yourself into?"

I took a breath. "Nothing. It's-" I couldn't think of anything. "It's not dangerous or anything. It's consensual if that's what you're thinking."

I could see the gears turning in his head. "You mentioned something about a deal a few weeks ago. Who was that?"

I opened my mouth to speak, then shut it. The front door opened, and Damon rushed in, interrupting us. I sighed a breath of relief as I looked over at him.

"What happened?"

"We don't know. We walked in and she was like this," I answered quickly.

Damon walked to Elena and knelt down beside her. He checked for her pulse. "And you couldn't find Caroline?" He looked at Stefan.

He was stuck staring at me. "No," he answered Damon. "She wouldn't answer."

I stood up. Stefan's phone started ringing. He pulled it out of his pocket. He glanced at the name before answering the call. "Yeah."

I stepped out of the way as Damon laid Elena on the couch. I looked at him as he stepped in front of me.

"We'll be there soon." Damon and I both looked at Stefan. He turned off his phone and slid it in his pocket. He looked at us. "That was Liv. She found a guy drained of all his blood with a bite mark on his neck. She also said Caroline was there just before that."

I felt my stomach drop.

"She turned it off," Elena whispered.

Damon and I turned to her. She was sitting up now. "What," I asked.

She looked at me, "She turned off her humanity."

It felt like a stab in my chest. She can turn it off. I wish I could turn it off.

She stood up. She grabbed Damon's hand for balance.

I felt like my head was spinning. "She killed him." I blinked away the black spots that filled my vision.

"And who else knows how many more," Damon added.

I felt the panic consuming my mind. No result of this situation could be good.