#38 Trust Part 2 - Cuid Lontaobhais 2

"Here," Lyle led me into the first of two doorways to our right. Only a few pieces of furniture sat in the otherwise bare room. A bed lay in the middle of the room flanked by shaded lamps. Lyle bent underneath the queen sized bed and handed me the cloth bound book tucked neatly inside the framed painting, just how I left it. I grabbed it from her hands holding it tightly to my chest I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Even though I'd knowingly had the book in my possession for less than twenty-four hours I'd already formed such a strong bond with the simple object.

"Before you ask no I didn't read it." Lyle defended running her hands through her hair.

"How did you know where it was?" I perked up feeling a little more free to ask the questions that had been weighing on me.

"You know a simple thank you would suffice."

"You're right, I'm sorry I didn't mean – I just, well I'm just really.." I struggled for the right word. What do you say to someone for saving your life? "Happy? That doesn't sound right but you know what I mean."

"Thanks accepted." Lyle nodded in a business like manor as she passed me and opened up a closet door.

Keeping my mother's things close to my chest I shifted my weight awkwardly in the silence. "Ivy and Beth are nice."

Lyle hummed in agreement as she continued her search of the closet. "I can't believe they held onto these." She mumbled under her breath picking out a few pieces of clothing holding them out then refolding them in her arms.

"Are you mad at me?" I broke the silence but not her concentration as she re hung another shirt.

"Why would I be mad at you?"

"Well you know," I scratched my head. "I left you after we made a deal and you seem like the kind of person who doesn't like to be double crossed- I mean no one does but you especially."

"You did what you thought was in your best interest. I didn't give you any reason to believe it was me. You might've been hiding that," She waved her hand arbitrarily at the painting I clung to my chest. "But I was dishonest with you from the beginning. I'm sorry I went through you're things, the albums..." She spoke without looking at me but I felt it sincerely. It was finally a full apology that I was longing for, and even more so it was an expression of guilt, an emotion I wasn't sure until now if Lyle possessed.

"Thank you." I mumbled unsure of how to react. This was all so entirely foreign to me and I felt the experience was the same for her. We were both offering up little pieces of ourselves, breaking off chunks from our walls and solemnly sliding them across the table.

"I do trust you." My statement struck her and she turned suddenly to watch me nervously take a few steps forward.

"Why?" Now it was Lyle's turn to take on my usual air of curiosity.

"Maybe for the same reason you followed me to Monroe's office and brought me here."

She studied me for a moment and then nodded. My summation was good enough, though the true answer stood between us yet neither of us saw a paramount need to step forward and unmask it. It was more comfortable to keep the motivation in the shadows, something to be felt rather than empirically known.

"These might be big but at least they don't smell like French fry oil."

We stood in a painted blue painted bathroom that came off of the master bedroom. It was narrow, no bigger than a hallway and ended with a sliding door shower. I took the clothes from Lyle and folded Mo Soileireacht into them before placing the pile on the counter.

As I did so my reflection caught my eye in the mirror that took up one third of the wall space. My hair hung loosely from my bun and I struggled to un do it without ripping out good sized chunks of my hair. Using my fingers as combs I tried to detangle as much of my hair but gave up shortly after I began.

My B&B t-shirt somehow managed to look even worse for wear as I noticed a new streak of dirt that ran from my bellybutton to my sternum. How in the hell did I manage that? Even a few drops of Ivy's soup made their way onto the cotton material and I rolled my eyes at my sloppiness.

It would be nice to get into a clean set of clothes.

"Hey wait a second," I sniffed my arm self-consciously as Lyle's comment resonated. "You were watching me? Before I went into Monroe's building?" I sniffed my arm again, I didn't smell that strongly of French fries, did I?

Lyle ignored my question as she knelt to turn on the shower tap. From my angle above her it was difficult to make out her full expression. I caught sight of the corner of her mouth as it turned up in a subtle grin.

"Why didn't you confront me? How did you even find which shop I was in?" I blathered on incredulously enveloping myself so much so in my confusion that I didn't notice Lyle rise from her place by the bath until she wrapped me in a tight hug.

The shock of her touch ceased my stream of questioning. Naturally, I lifted my arms up wrapping my own limbs around her torso as a comforting silence fell over us. The quiet wasn't empty or brought to fruition because of a lacking, it was a much needed pause. An elongated breath that we took in unison to recharge before exhaling our thoughts.

In that moment as I stood with my head pressed to Lyle's chest, the sound of her heart beat regulating my inhales I felt her answer a question I did not think to ask.

She trusted me.

It was in the way that she held me, which sounds ridiculously cheesy and maybe like a projection, but I was sure. Why else would she follow me into the city, not with the intention of stealing Mo Soileireacht back but to save me from myself.

And even though she touted greed as the most inherent motivation, I could no longer see it as her own. She cared about more than she let on and as my head rested close to her heart I could feel her silent effort to convince me that she too had placed trust in me.

We stood silently, our feet rooted on the solid tile floor allowing our trust to repair.

"Thank you for not reading Mo Soileireacht," I whispered against her shoulder. "I know you probably wanted to and I really appreciate that you didn't."

She lifted her head from where it rested on top of mine and nodded. "We'll talk after dinner ok?"

I studied the freckles of her eyes, they were soft this time and not as pronounced. "Lyle, you are a complete enigma."

"Good, I like it that way." Her soft smile was contagious as she held me closer.

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Enjoy xo