Chapter 20

After lunch we decided to watch TV in the living room while mom excuse her self to take a short nap.

"I'm sorry about my mom. She just desperate."

"I don't mind. I understand, she's just worry about you."

"I know."

"Ram, can we have dinner tonight?"

"Are you not tired? We're together since this morning."

"No. In fact, I'm enjoying every moments with you."

"Are you just bored with your life and you find me funny because I'm gay?"

"I'm telling you the truth. There's no dull moment with you. So, tonight would you eat with me? Please?"

I think about for a while. My brain stopping me but my heart want it.

"Please?" Axel beg.

"O-Okey."

Axel smile widely. "Thank you. I pick up at 7 and wear something formal."

"Axel fast food will do."

"No. I want to prepare something special for you Ram. Let me do that okey."

I sighed and nod.

"Well, I need to go for now and see you later. Don't try to ditch me okey."

"Im not doing that." I defend.

"Good." he smile. "Walk me out."

"Hey, you already know how to get yourself out of here."

"Please..."

"Nah! You're demanding." I said complaining.

Axel just smile at me.

When I get back inside the house I saw mom comfortably sitting in the sofa.

"I thought your sleeping?"

"I just used that as an excuse." she said smiling.

"Mom, don't force the situation. Axel is a straight man. The reason why he's kind to us maybe because he found a family to us, just like Sid. Don't overthink of it."

"What if he have another reason?"

"Like being guilty about rejecting me before or about what his friends done to me?"

"Come on son, open your eyes. He cares about you."

"But doesn't mean he like me in intimate way."

"Ram..."

"If you are this curious, then I try to clear everything to him this evening, once and for all. So that we can stop assuming things."

"Ram, are you trying to risk again?"

"Its better this way mom before getting hard to get out. At least we can move on after this."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you still suffering inside, after all this years." Mom said worrying in sadness.

I tried to smile despite the sadness. "Life is so playful to me mom. I can't imagine, that I'm going through this again with the same person."

"Im always here for you Ram don't forget that. I help you no matter what you going through."

"Thank you mom. I love you."

"I love you too son. You are the only I have."

"Me too."

"Go, take some rest. Make it sure you look beautiful tonight. If he rejected you again at least you can tell him... 'So what, it not my lost its yours' then go with your head high." Mom demonstrate.

I laughed. "Are you watching too much dramas?"

"Sort of." she said honesty. Then we both laugh loud.

Actually, I don't mind getting older with my mom. She's already enough for me. In this cruel world, only a few like me can find true happiness.