3.29. Square One

Y/N sighed to himself, waiting on the pitch for the eighth game of the Neo Egoist League to start.

He couldn't get his head clear. There was so much, so many different things happening at the same time. Kuroi taking over L/N Tech. Eiji dying. Himself, getting scared of a goddamn soccer ball. The fact that Kuroi was out to fucking dissect him - and thanks to the BLTV live stream, knew exactly where he currently was.

And through all that, he had to maintain his composure. He didn't want to let anyone know what'd happened. He didn't want to see their faces. Would they be disappointed? Disgusted? Angered? Y/N didn't want to know.

He was back to square one.

Alone.

Damaged.

Untrusting.

Only this time, he'd chosen it for himself. He'd stopped talking to everyone, he'd chosen to show this blank facade that was nothing like how he truly felt inside.

Why?

He didn't really know.

"Welcome to the Neo Egoist League, Match Eight!" The casters' yelled. Y/N forced his face into a blank slate. "We've got a special one for you guys today! Manshine City against Ubers!"

Both teams spread out across the pitch. Ubers took one side, breaking off from their huddle with confident grins all around. On the other side, Manshine City seemed to be feeling the pressure. Reo and Nagi shared a serious look with each other, and Agi scowled.

On the latter team, only Chigiri looked to be relaxed. He had an easy, sweet smile on his face, pink hair tied back behind his head. Relaxed shoulders... arms swinging about to warm up... it took a huge effort for Y/N to tear his eyes off the boy.

"I'm stoked for this game, honestly! Both these teams are pretty evenly matched! I'm pretty sure that a game between these two would come down to the wire!"

"But we have to remember, our beloved prodigy Y/N L/N is in play! He was absent the first half of the NEL, but he's come into the second swinging!"

"Yeah, absolutely! He showed us one of the most stunning hat-tricks we've seen, and has likely skyrocketed up the auction rankings because of it! They will be revealed as soon as this game ends!"

"Now... are you guys ready...!"

The match started.

Ubers began with the ball. Y/N watched with emotionless eyes, as they slowly, methodically moved up the field. They were feeling out their opponents, trying to understand Manshine's game plan before they made any moves.

Y/N had been angry at them before. Now, he just... felt nothing.

Though, something was off about the Ubers' players. They looked oddly slow, sluggish to respond to each others' passes. The cocky confidence they'd displayed just minutes before was replaced by yells and annoyed groans as passes went wide and players struggled to organise each other.

Y/N wanted to frown. He didn't. The game in front of him was a welcome break from everything clouding his head. Something to get himself immersed in. What are they doing...?

He spotted Niko, face scrunching up with annoyance as Aiku missed a pass. The boy barely received it, and was immediately passing it on with no thought. He sent it towards one of the midfielders, even though the man was right next to two Manshine players.

That can't be right. What are they up to...? Niko doesn't get mad like that. Y/N sighed quietly. It's fake.

Fake as it was, it certainly looked real. The Manshine players certainly bought it, cheering up a little as they organised themselves. Y/N caught one of them yelling. "They're messed up! Just press them, they can't coordinate properly!"

Manshine charged forwards. Reo and Nagi dominated the midfield. Agi went straight for Ubers' backline, cutting off passing options in a fast attack. At the front, Sendou received the ball. He was forced to pass back - only, the pass was short. Lorenzo couldn't get to it in time, and Reo scooped it up with a triumphant grin.

The counterattack was crazy fast. Ubers couldn't seem to work together at all, every ounce of coordination ruined. From Reo, Manshine's passing was perfect. To Agi. Back to Reo. Back to the midfield. Back to Reo.

And from there, Reo fired off a perfect pass, high into the air. It headed right for Nagi. The white-haired boy was flanked by two Ubers' defenders. As the ball came towards him, he leapt up. Both of the defenders did too.

Nagi was quite literally knocked from the sky. Both defenders collided heads right after, hitting the ground with yells ringing out across the pitch. Y/N would've laughed at a different time. Aren't they trying to sell it too hard?

The goalkeeper leapt forwards, punching the ball away. Coincidentally, he punched it in the direction of Chigiri on the flank. The princess was marked by a single defender, but it was no problem at all for him as he blew past him. With fast touches, he cut his way into the area in front of the goal.

The ball went in. Immediately, Y/N caught more than one of the Ubers players looking at him.

Oh.

They'd purposefully let in the first goal, to get him on their side.

After the casters had finished talking, and Y/N had done his intro, he headed over to Snuffy. The man was staring at him with downturned lips and saddened eyes. "Y/N."

Y/N didn't answer. He raised his head, blankly staring up at the man. Snuffy sighed, not asking any of the questions Y/N knew he had. "You're going on."

Instead of being substituted out for Sendou like last time, this time Y/N was placed into the very front position. He didn't react at all to it, giving Snuffy a curt nod before making his way over. Barou wasn't happy at all, being moved back a spot into the place where Sendou had been.

Ubers' ball. Y/N placed his foot on the ball, turning to face his team spread out behind him. He tilted his head slightly to one side, looking around the pitch.

Then he passed. Not to Barou, who was the closest, but to Niko all the way in the back. The younger boy received it with a surprised look. Y/N began forging upfield.

Ubers' attack began in earnest. Their passing returned to the way it'd been in every previous game - fast, coordinated, and precise. All signs of animosity and discord in the team faded instantly, replaced by a cool, collected determination. Y/N exhaled as he jogged up the pitch. They actually let in the ball so I would play for them...?

Wow.

He moved down the pitch. Behind him, his team carried the ball forwards. They were slowed down by the Manshine players, the defence getting up in their face as both teams fought over control of the ball.

Eventually, the ball went to Niko. He glanced at Y/N, even though there was a huge distance between them. Instead of following the pre-set orders Y/N knew he had, the boy passed to him. The fastest pass Niko could physically do, a slightly inaccurate ball just high enough that people wouldn't be able to reach it.

It overshot Y/N by a few metres. But he ran forwards onto it. Instead of trapping it, he flung out a leg, using the very tip of his boot to poke the ball onwards. It bounced on his foot, continuing forwards at a crazy speed. Y/N followed.

None of Manshine City was prepared for the speed. Y/N dashed right down the middle of the pitch, slicing a line right through the centre of Manshine's formation. But unlike before, he didn't enjoy it. He didn't want to win... but he was too scared of what would happen if he lost.

Nobody could stop him. He sprinted at top speed, right between players. Something began to happen.

Faces blurred, blood leaking from eyes and open mouths. Bodies twisted, broken arms grasping for him. Players' yells turned into children's screams. And in place of the casters' voices, Kuroi presided over everything.

Y/N's heart was pounding, but from fear rather than adrenaline.

Players lunged for him from either side. Y/N's eyes locked onto moving limbs, tensing muscles, stretching tendons. He was untouchable, a ghost that effortlessly brushed past each player. Not a single player could stop him.

To Y/N, it was like he could read the future. Everybody was trivally predictable. He leapt over a slide tackle from one person, immediately throwing his entire body to the right to avoid a second defender's foot.

More came. He ran forwards, burning a path directly through them. They attempted to barge into him, only finding each other. Y/N saw everything coming.

He even predicted Chigiri, throwing himself in at Mach 3 from the sidelines. Y/N didn't hesitate, stepping over the ball and using his heel to lift the ball into the air. He bounced it off his own head, giving it some extra distance, and dashed past Chigiri to receive the ball on the other side.

And then it was him against the goalkeeper. Y/N didn't bother with a fancy shot. He was too tired for that, too done with this game. The goalkeeper is preparing for a shot to the right. If I look to the right, he'll be even more guard towards the right. Y/N did exactly that. And as soon as he saw the muscles in the man's left leg bunching, ready to propel him towards the right, Y/N shot left.

The goalkeeper was caught completely off guard.

The ball rolled into the goal. The casters burst into praise yet again. Y/N just sighed, shaking his head.

I'm winning. So why don't I feel happy...?

When he'd returned to Ascension, he thought it'd been losing that had made him so upset. He thought that in order to be happy, he needed to win.

This just proved him wrong. Because he just felt... off.

Y/N hung his head.

I really can't do anything right, can I?

🥕🥕🥕

Ego Jinpachi stared at the computer screen. Ubers were absolutely thrashing Manshine City. Y/N had scored the first, Sendou had somehow nabbed the second, and the third was still to be decided. But the match was all but over - everyone knew Manshine's chances were zero.

Anri stood right behind him. "You can't let this go on any longer."

He knew she was right. She wasn't talking about the game, but rather, Y/N. Rubbing at his forehead, Ego sighed. "Yeah. I know."

"He's not right." Anri continued. "He looks horrible, Ego."

"I know."

"Is he even sleeping? What even happened to him in the break to make him like this?"

Ego hesitated. He stayed silent, pursing his lips. Anri frowned at his lack of reply. She instantly knew he was withholding something. "Ego."

"I don't know."

"Ego." She repeated. Pressing fingers to her eyes, she shook her head. The stress and worry was written all over her face. "I know you have your secrets. But please, please don't keep this from me. You can't just let him destroy himself like this."

"I don't know."

Anri frowned. "But you do, Ego." She folded both arms across her chest, swallowing hard. "I've been around you long enough to tell. Please, Ego!"

Ego pinched at the bridge of his nose, and just went for it. "Y/N went back to Ascension."

The silence was loud. Ego's ears began to ring.

"You're kidding."

"No."

"He went back."

Ego mustered the courage to look at Anri. And was stunned by what he saw.

Anri was a kind woman. She rarely got angry, only annoyed with Ego. And despite all of the work she did as Bluelock's main manager, she never complained, never showed anything but bright optimism. He'd never seen her grab the back of his chair with white knuckles. He'd never seen her with such fury in her eyes, such burning anger.

Choosing his words slowly, hoping he wasn't the target of Anri's anger, Ego spoke. "Yes."

"Why." Anri's voice was flat, but Ego could practically hear the shake in it. "Who forced him?"

"I don't know." Ego muttered, realising that Anri wasn't angry at him. Nor was she angry at Y/N. She was angry, furious at whoever had caused Y/N to look so lifeless. "I don't know..."

"Well, find out." She snapped. "How do you even know he went back anyway?"

"It's the type of ego he has." He brushed off the question. "But when the game's done, I'll have a talk with him about that. You should join us."

"I'm going down now." Anri immediately said. She made for the door. "I'll bring him here. You get to work. Find out whoever put him back in that place, I want them locked in a room with me."

Ego paled. Anri was a woman of her word. "Yes, ma'am."

In the end, Anri didn't manage to bring Y/N to the room. As soon as the match finished, Y/N had dashed off the pitch as top speed. Anri had barely reached the field before Y/N was gone.

On the cameras, Ego watched Y/N leave via the front gate. He let him go, leaving it unlocked.

He just needs space, maybe...