Chapter 44

Logan

On our way back to the restaurant, I'm still high on the adrenaline rush from winning the game.  God, I forgot how much I missed playing sports. Tonight's game took me back to my high school days when I was the captain of the soccer team.

Football, football, not soccer, Em's voice corrects me in my mind.

I look at her and feel a small lump forming in my throat. She's so fucking effortlessly beautiful, with her oversized hoodie and tight leggings. Those leggings are going to be the end of me. Not to mention that her hair is up in a messy ponytail, and every time I look at her I can't stop myself from thinking about all the things I want to do to her.

To kiss her neck and pull her hair and touch her everywhere. To make her scream my name so loud that everyone knows that she's mine. Mine. My hand automatically moves to her thigh and gives it a squeeze.

She glances quickly at me before focusing back on her driving. "Where the hell am I supposed to park? Did Adam really have to take the entire spot right there?"

Actually, Adam didn't take the entire spot that she's pointing at, she's just a shitty driver. I keep that to myself and unbuckle my seatbelt. "Hey, why don't you join them inside and I'll figure out a way to park the car?"

She sighs in relief, "My hero."

I smile as she walks out and move to her seat. It turns out that parking is extremely easy when you can estimate some geographic distance. Keys, phone, wallet, check.

I walk inside the diner and find the back of Em's head. I spot Josh and Adam as well.

"Can you please convince this psycho that my parking skills are fine and that she's just a terrible driver?" Adam says, rolling his eyes at Em.

Uh oh.

Emily shakes her head. "Says the guy who parked horizontally." - But he had to do it horizontally since there's no way his car would fit vertically. Instead of saying that, I give him a tight smile. "Em is right. You have zero estimation skills."

Her lips switch upwards, biting back a smile, which makes my body warm, too warm to care about the scoff that I get from Adam.

"You're completely whipped, which is embarrassing fo-" The words are caught in his throat and he looks like he has seen a ghost.

Em notices instantly. "What's wrong?" She asks before turning to look where Adam was looking.

Her eyes widen and her rosy cheeks are suddenly pale. What the fuck is happening? When I turn to look, I find a couple entering the diner with a little girl. The girl looks oddly familiar. She has her hair up in two buns and must be around six or seven.

Gosh, where have I seen this girl before? She's laughing at something her dad (I assume he's her dad) says before hiding behind her mom's legs - Her mom. Oh my God. Holy fucking shit. She looks exactly like Em. My jaw drops before looking back to Em, who is white as a sheet and staring at the window next to us.

"Em, there's a woman who looks exactly like you that it's scary," I manage to make out before looking at Josh and Adam.

Adam's hand extends towards Em, and his eyes are completely focused on her, as if he didn't even hear what I just said. I raise an eyebrow at Josh before he takes out his phone and starts typing something.

My phone's screen lights up. It's her mother, you idiot. -J

Oh.

Holy crap. I just saw Em's mom. As in the woman whom I basically encouraged Emily to harass on the phone a few weeks ago.

I have a billion questions on my mind. Does her mother live here? Did she ever end up calling Emily again? Does she know anything about Em?

I can't help but glance at their table again. The little girl is her sister - the one we saw when we were going to Beirut and Em asked her not to mention seeing her to her mother. There is a fair resemblance between them, they have the same almond eye shape and - shit. Shit, shit, shit, the little girl meets my eye before I can look away. It seems she recognizes me because she starts pointing at our table. Uh oh.

"You want us to leave?" Adam asks her.

Before Em could say anything, the little girl shouts, "Emily?"

Em gulps, clearly feeling tormented by the entire situation. My hand automatically reaches out to interlace her fingers with mine. I'm slightly taken back when she doesn't pull away from me.

"You don't have to answer, we can just leave -" Adam whispers.

However, Emily shakes her head. "I don't want her to grow up thinking that I never loved her. I'm going to go say hello."

In this moment, it hits me that this is exactly why I'm extremely fucking in love with this woman. She just does what's right. It doesn't matter how difficult a situation is, Em is the one person who will pull herself together and just do the right thing.

Any trace of emotion is erased from her face. The rhythm of her breathing is controlled, as if she's voluntarily counting the seconds of her inhales and exhales. Before she can walk towards them, I find myself standing up too. "I'm coming with you."

She doesn't say protest, but she doesn't let go of my hand. We walk closer to their table, and if looks could kill, we would be ten feet under because of the glares that her mother was sending towards us.

However, half way there, her little sister runs towards her and jumps in her arms. "Emily! It's you! I'm so happy that you're here!" She hugs her tightly.

My insides warm at the sight of them together. God, Em deserves happiness. She deserves to have a family and be loved and cared of. She deserves to be with her sister, goddamn it.

"I missed you too, little munchkin."

When she lets her down, the little girl looks at me. "You, I remember you. What's your name?"

I can't stop my lips from curving into a smile. "I'm Logan. And you?"

"Elsie," She says before turning to look at Em again. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"No."

"Yes."

Em and I say at the same time. I obviously was the one who said yes, but she said no. This makes Elsie laugh which makes Em laugh which makes me laugh. God, I sound like such a whipped-ass, Adam was right. Is it bad that I don't give two shits?

"I like him. He's funny," Leslie says. "Come, you wanna say hi to mommy and daddy?"

I expect Em to make some excuse and say we're in a rush, but I'm surprised when she holds Leslie's hand as she leads her to her mother's seat.

Her mother fidgets in her seat, looking incredibly uncomfortable. "Mommy, look, it's Emily! I told you it was her!"

Her mom nods before giving a tight smile to Emily. Jesus Christ, how can she be so cold to her daughter? She carried for nine months, for God's sake! The overwhelming urge to protect Em's feelings from this bitch overtakes me. My fingers find hers again and pull her closer.

Before I could introduce myself, Elsie is pointing at me. "And this is Logan, her boyfriend."

Alright, cool, the little munchkin decided that I'm the boyfriend. I don't need to look at Emily to feel the glares she's sending my way.

"It's good to see you," Her mother forces out, not even bothering to hide the mendacity in her words. Her eyes barely touch mine for a second before focusing back on Elsie.

"You should join us! We were going to have burgers!" Elsie says, going back towards Em.

Before Em could say anything, her mother is already shaking her head. "Sweetheart, you know how busy Emily is. No need to put her in a tough spot."

My jaw almost drops. What a bitch!

"Actually, Elsie, why don't you join us to go biking on Sunday?"

Everyone turns to look at me as if I have grown another head. I keep playing dumb and just focus on Elsie.

"Oh, I would love to! But I don't know how to bike!"

"It's fine, I'll teach you."

"Oh, I would love to! Mommy, please, can you let me go?"

"Elsie, you have school the next day-"

"Oh, we can go biking on Saturday if timing is the only issue."

It's official. Emily's mother is going to kill me. And Emily too.

"And who is going to drop you here? You know we live in Beirut and it's a long way and-"

Emily interrupts for the first time. "It's fine, we were going to go biking in Beirut on the waterfront anyway. We'll just pick her up and drop her off."

Elsie is officially jumping from excitement. "Oh my God! That would be the first day that we ever spend together! I can't wait!"

"Els, I haven't said yes yet -"

"But mommy, we have nothing planned! Please?" She pauses to give her the puppy eyes look. "Please? I promise I'll be good. I'll sleep early and shower and not eat chocolate when you're gone!"

Then, she turns to look at her dad, who by the way, looks extremely uncomfortable. "Daddy, say something. You have to convince her, please!"

He lets out a long sigh before shrugging. "I don't mind, Charlotte."

And then I sort of realize that Emily is always going to be the reminder of the affair that his wife had. It's probably not easy on him, that's for sure. But at the same time, it's not like ignoring her daughter is the best way to pretend that the affair never happened.

As for her mother, she must feel the need to show her husband that she doesn't give two shits about Emily to save her marriage. Which is a terrible idea because in every single scenario, it's Emily whose heart is broken over and over again.

Her mother purses her lips before brushing strands of hair behind Elsie's ears. "Saturday afternoon, for two hours only."

I can't help but press my interlaced fingers with Em's, who only shows a slight smile. "We'll pick you up at four."

"Have a good rest of your night," I say as we turn to leave after Elsie gives Em a tight hug.

On our way to the car, Em is silent. She hands me the keys and asks me if I could drive. Then, she leans her head against the window and drifts into her thoughts.

And in this moment, even the shrill silence around us cannot quiet her demons.

a/n

so sorry for the long break! the only explanation i have is the following: severe writer's block. (i think it's over now?)