24.2. Not Coming Back - Part 2

We finish eating and Erik makes me buy a croissant as a snack for later. Then we head back to Liana's office. I expected Emi to be long gone but she's still there, sitting in front of her laptop and typing something. The kittens are playing around her feet and look happy. I can feel Emi is sulking a bit but otherwise it seems the ladies reached some kind of compromise.

"Great, you're back," Liana waves at us from her table without looking away from the screen. "From now on, we start at 8 o'clock, okay?"

I look at Erik with horror. As someone who used to stream until late at night, I was never an early bird. I was hoping that Liana would go for traditional office hours but no such luck. I have a boss who is a workaholic.

"We'll finish work earlier and go sleep earlier," Erik, who is perfectly used to irregular work hours that often include getting up inhumanely early, tries to comfort me.

"That actually depends on our workload," Liana has to disappoint us. "This isn't one of those jobs with fixed hours."

I gulp but I should have known. It's not like any of us, not even Liana, can anticipate what we will be dealing with in near future. Damn, we have another meeting with the Czech government tomorrow, right? I'm not ready at all!

"L-Li?" I ask carefully. "What kind of job division did you come up with for incoming Draconians?"

"Jobs will be given ideally based on one's education and previous work experience, of course," she says and narrows her eyes at me. "So?"

"So... wouldn't it be better if I was helping with something else? I can continue doing videos and... I don't know... become a magic instructor perhaps?"

Liana isn't even trying to resist rolling her eyes. She does so ostentatiously. Erik chuckles and shakes his head, amused that I'm still trying to get out of ruling my race.

"Sit," she points towards another table that is opposite to Emi's. "And work, no excuses. I've already set today's tasks for you and Erik."

I don't have the courage to oppose her when she's like that—uncompromising. I sit behind the table, Erik next to me, and we switch on the computers. The moments the screen is on, I can see virtual sticky notes of my tasks:

1. Contact university and finally discontinue your studies. - Okay, I admit I was postponing that because I still don't feel like doing it even if I have to. But I know that I can't return to school and I wouldn't have time for virtual lessons. Still, I'm impressed Liana keeps track of my personal stuff.

2. Call Deminas (with Fefnir).

3. Training magic. – Oh, looking forward to that.

4. Brainstorming ideas for tomorrow's meeting. – Dreading it.

5. Call Werden and Twyla (with Ingri).

6. Call Gotrid and Gin (with Emi).

I glimpse at Erik's list and except for task 4, it's very different from mine. Wait! Does it mean we won't be together that much today? I doubt I'll be calling other race rulers from Liana's office as I would be distracting them. It's evident Erik just realised the same thing because he got irritated inside. Are we really too attached to each other? Well, at least I'll finally have the opportunity to test it out.

"Lunch together," I nudge him reassuringly. He nods but keeps frowning. Still, he starts working right away.

I reluctantly open my student's dashboard. The process is as simple as putting a request to the student affairs office but it still breaks my heart to do it when I recall how hard it was to get in.

"Erik, I don't want to," my hand freezes over the submit button. "My studies... it means a lot to me. When I got that scholarship..."

"You could finally leave your grumpy grandmother, right?" he guesses and clutches my hand in comfort. It's a sore topic I've never talked about even with him but he's good at guessing.

"I thought you started earning lots of money as a streamer while still at high school," Emi stops typing and looks at me, confused.

"I did but the loan company was taking most of my earnings," I confess. "The only money they couldn't touch was my scholarship."

Liana sighs, gets up and pulls her chair next to me.

"Sorry, Aefener, I had no idea it means that much to you," she apologises. "I thought you're just procrastinating it."

"Can't you ask for a postponement?" Erik suggests.

"Not at Charles University," I shake my head. "There're usually dozens of students on the wait list. They don't treat drop-outs kindly."

"Maybe they would take your special circumstances into account?" Erik remains hopeful. "Write a personal letter to the dean."

"Erik, that would propose Aefener is certainly coming back in near future," Liana disagrees. "He can't guarantee such a thing."

"B-but...," I'm desperately coming up with options, "when things calm down and we secure our human rights, Draconians should be able to finish their studies, right? It would be discrimination if they wouldn't let us into schools."

"Sure, common Draconians," Liana nods. "Not you. The EU will most probably never stop chasing you as your powers will only grow. I'm sorry, Aefener, but it is how it is."

"What would the Celestial Emperor need a degree for anyway?" Emi shrugs. "It's not like you'll be looking for a conventional employment."

"It's not set in stone that I'm to become the Emperor for real," I oppose, frowning. "We should have proper elections as soon as possible. This isn't a game where the strongest one rules."

I suddenly perceive a steep change in Emi's and Liana's overall mental attitudes. The contrast is even sharper when I compare it to how Erik feels like to me. It's as if they don't understand what I'm talking about. I mean... they do understand the words but my reasoning eludes them.

"Elections?" Emi bursts laughing. "I'm the Alpha! Anyone who would like to question my authority is free to challenge me to a duel."

There's no hesitation in her voice, nor in her mind. She completely switched to the Clawfang way of thinking the moment I suggested something that wasn't in our nature.

"L-Li?" I look at my Viceroy but I can feel she's in agreement with Emi. Moreover, she's mildly annoyed that I'm even suggesting such a thing.

"Elections are for humans," she says matter-of-factly. "I would never answer to anyone else than you. You're the strongest Celestial. Period. Stop being silly, Aefener."

"E-Erik," I look at my boyfriend, panicked. Am I the only Draconian with human thinking?

"Well," Erik chews his lip. "It's quite ironic that as a telepath, you're overlooking something so obvious. Ryuu, they stopped behaving like humans ages ago. How couldn't you notice that?"

"I... really?" I'm confused. "But their minds are so soothing to me. Sure, they changed slightly but..."

"Yeah, and human minds make you nauseous," he remarks. "That actually says a lot. I see it clearly and I thought you see it as well... at least through me. Or are you maybe subconsciously refusing to see it?"

"Li, Emi, do you realise that your thinking had changed? Because... I think mine didn't," I look into their eyes, searching for answers.

"I do feel different," Liana admits after a short consideration. "I realise that I think differently about things now but I'm not concerned. It feels totally natural."

"I don't mind either," Emi seconds. "In fact, my previous thinking process seems strange to me now. Also... I can't imagine losing my new sense of super smell. Do you have any idea how thrilling the world is to Clawfangs? There's so much information all around. You Celestials have no idea."

"What information are you getting? Right now I mean," Erik asks curiously.

"For instance, I can feel that Liana had muffins, grapefruit juice and coffee for breakfast. It's still in the air," Emi sniffs. "And you two had sex recently."

I gasp for breath and turn red. Liana makes no comment.

"Damn, Emi, spot on!" Erik isn't embarrassed and chuckles. "There's no hiding anything from your sensitive nose."

"To be honest, I have no idea how I could live without it," she says. "You claim that you don't feel any mental change, Aefener, but what about your wings?"

"What about them?" I don't understand her question.

"Can you imagine losing them? Would you give them up to become human again?"

"L-losing my wings?" I shudder at the mere thought of that.

"You have your answer," she grins victoriously.

"Your thinking probably didn't change as dramatically because it wasn't quite human from the beginning," Liana reminds me. "Julia was right. We transformed from the human basis. You transformed... from something a bit else. Only time will tell how it'll affect you and how different you are from the rest of Draconians. Which is another reason you especially can never go back to your previous life."

She gives me a while to digest it. Erik keeps holding my hand, assuring me that it's going to be okay and he'll support me no matter what. But I know that it's something I have to accept myself and come to terms with eventually. I'm not coming back to my previous life.

"Isn't this much more exciting?" Emi tilts her head and her vulpine ears twitch. "To be honest, I don't want to go back. Definitely not back to my bigoted family that killed my cousin. Besides, I enjoy having a pack and being respected. And I love my new body. I really do."

"You're extroverted, Emi, a people person," Liana points out. "Aefener isn't and he's been hiding because of the telepathy his whole life. That's why it's hard for him to be the centre of attention all of a sudden."

"I think... I can do it," I hesitate for a few seconds but then I finally hit that submit button.

And it's done. My application has been sent. I think the university must have been waiting for it anyway. I decide to write a short email to my supervisor, thanking for her support. I can't help pondering: Will the professor be relieved that she got rid of me? After all, I imagine the media and possibly even the government must have been bugging her with questions about me. Still, I feel as if the last thing connecting me to my human life is gone now.

"Oh, by the way," Liana speaks up after a few minutes of silence when she returned behind her desk. "We've finally found a psychologist among the transformed."

"Oh, really? When are they coming?" I ask.

"Tomorrow, I couldn't buy him a plane ticket so I had to send a car for him," she says. "He's from Sweden."

"Couldn't buy a plane ticket? Why?" I don't understand.

"Draconians currently aren't accepted on planes," Liana sighs disapprovingly.

"Is that legal?" I frown.

"No, but they argue that they can't guarantee our safety in the air because our bodies are too different and seats are designed for humans," she clicks her tongue. "Which is true, sure, but also an excuse. I suspect the EU asked airlines to do so. They can't close the borders because they aren't any anymore in the Union but they can limit air transport at least."

I want to answer something but my phone starts ringing. I look at the screen and freeze. It's my grandma. I was so busy that I forgot about her. Oh, so there is still one thing binding me to my previous human life. And not a pleasant one.