53.1. Love Constellation - Part 1

"I have a feeling I'm interrupting," I say stupidly because I can't think of anything else. "I can come later...?"

"He wants to run away," Erik rolls his eyes.

"Indeed," Gotrid seconds.

For two people who can't be more different, they have quite a few striking similarities. They're looking at me with the same expression and their minds seem to be in unison right now.

"Erik, I... I'm so sorry!" I blurt out.

"I'm the one who's sorry," Gotrid shakes his head. "I should have never approached Your Majesty like that. But I didn't play games, I swear. I love you, my Emperor!"

Erik flinches hearing those words but his reaction isn't as strong as I'd have expected.

"Gotrid went looking for me after you sent him away," he says slowly. "Admittedly, he was the last person I wanted to see but he's persistent, I have to give him that."

"A-and?" I gulp.

"After I threw a few things at him he deflected with his telekinesis, we finally talked," he sighs resignedly.

"And then we talked some more when we returned to the hotel," Gotrid adds. "It turns out we're both very stubborn but we had enough time to come to terms eventually. Zetraya helped a lot, he's an excellent relationship mediator. We called him when we reached a dead end."

"Ryuu, how often have you been forcing yourself to act more human around me?" Erik asks and sounds really sad about it.

"I... I didn't... not particularly," I say quickly, startled by the sudden question.

Erik shakes his head because he knows I'm lying.

"Let's all sit down," Gotrid suggests. "And could we have some privacy, please?" he looks at the guards. "I'm here and should count as a bodyguard."

"We'll be in the lobby," Vermiel nods and takes the guards with him. They're still very close but shouldn't hear us at least.

I nervously look around where to sit. The sofa is full already and even though I could squeeze in, something tells me that we have to talk this through conventionally without resorting to telepathy which means no touching either of them for now.

There's a fluffy carpet in front of an antique decorative fireplace so I land there and comfortably spread my wings only to wrap myself in them a second later. I'm just too anxious and this is a typically Celestial protective pose.

"One moment he's the mighty Emperor impressing everyone at the conference, the other a feathered cocoon hiding into his own wings," Erik can't help himself and bursts laughing. I hope it's a good sign. I mean... I don't feel any anger coming from him.

"Cute, right?" Gotrid melts.

"You saw me?" I blush. "How was I?"

"We watched an edited footage of the most important moments. You were spectacular, love," Erik praises me. "Okay, this doesn't feel right," he takes a pillow and sits down so that he's on the same level as me.

Gotrid quickly follows. After all, it's considered against the court etiquette to be seated higher than the Emperor.

"So," Gotrid clears his throat.

"So," Erik bites his lip.

"You're staring," I hide my face behind my wings. "It's embarrassing."

"If only those politicians knew how adorably shy the Celestial Emperor is in private," Gotrid has another heart melt.

"Ryuu, look at us, please," Erik pleads. "Why do you always expect the worst possible outcome?"

"Because?" I lower my wings. "What did you talk about with Zetraya?"

"We covered several topics," Erik recalls. "From my jealousy issue, Gotrid's stupid approach to love pursuit to your special needs."

"Special needs? That sounds weird," I frown.

"Well, you're the Celestial Emperor AND a telepath," Gotrid states the obvious. "Erik told me and Zetraya about your love history and according to our psychologist you actually might not be physiologically able to be in a strictly monogamic relationship since you're a telepath."

"Wait, Zetraya knows? Did you tell him?" I get pissed off.

"Nobody told him, Ryuu," Erik calms me down. "He's very bright and after a few sessions with us, he put two and two together. Liana's right, we simply don't talk enough when we're together and he noticed something's off right away. And considering everything that's been happening lately, such a thing as telepathy isn't a crazy guess anymore. We really have to be more careful. Someone else could easily find out as well."

"So when we called him today," Gotrid takes over. "He already had a possible conclusion in mind."

"But physiologically incapable? For real?" I don't believe it. "We were managing just fine."

"By being literally inseparable," Erik reminds me.

"We were training to be separated for a couple of hours," I oppose. "I thought it went rather well."

"Ehm... sorry to break it to you but our experiment failed," Erik has to disappoint me. "Liana told me just yesterday in case something went wrong at the conference that each time we were separate, you connected to her instead. I bet you weren't even aware of it. She just didn't have the heart to tell you because you were trying so hard."

"Oh," I hug my knees. "Dammit."

"I'm sorry, Ryuu," Erik is saddened, "in my chronic jealousy, I totally disregarded your special needs. I think I knew deep down but I didn't want to see it. I wanted you all for myself but you're simply not cut for monogamic relationships."

"Erik, I..."

My voice fails me. Is this the part Erik is going to break up with me? Maybe it was me who refused to see the truth all this time. I thought that my previous polyamoric tendencies were connected to my insecurity to fully open up to someone but that might not have to be the case. I needed more connections so that I wouldn't have to cling only to one person.

"I won't be able to do it straight away," Erik slowly continues. "I'm a possessive person, remember? But I'm willing to change. For you. For us."

I look at him, dumbfounded. What is he even suggesting?

"His Majesty doesn't get it," Gotrid slaps his forehead.

Erik takes three deep breaths; his emotions are fluttering like crazy as he has to fight his very self. I admire him for that because whatever he's attempting to say, it goes against his learnt patterns and inner principles.

"I reconsidered and Gotrid isn't so insufferable after he sincerely apologised to me," he says. "I think I can endure him. I genuinely want to see you happy, Ryuu, and if that's the compromise I have to accept, so be it."

"Endure? Accept?" I still don't get it. Or I do but I refuse to believe what he's implying.

"His Majesty is so cutely slow in these things," Gotrid giggles. "My Emperor, Erik is suggesting we're both your official Royal Consorts."

I'm left speechless and hide into my wings again. Is such an outcome even possible? Can I be so greedy? Lore-wise, there's nothing in the way. The Emperor is free to have as many partners as they want. There's no way I'm taking the shady harem path as in some stupid anime but maybe two isn't a bad idea?

I love Erik with all my heart but at the same time I'm pretty confident that I can love more people equally. I already love Liana and even though it's not erotic kind of love, it's not smaller than my love for Erik and he knows that. Maybe that's why he's not that afraid I'll start preferring Gotrid.

"You're not worried my attention will be divided between you two?" I confide my biggest concern.

"I'd be lying if I said I'm not," Erik says honestly. "But I trust you. Besides, there already are occasions when I can't accompany you like flying."

"Your Majesty, you're not looking at us," Gotrid points out and lightly touches my feathers.

I immediately get goosebumps when I receive a full dose of his love. I have to forcefully pull my mind out so that we can continue with our conversation.

"Erik, are you really okay with it?" my eyes start watering. "I don't want to hurt you."

"Franky, I'm not thrilled about it but you'd hurt me only if you stopped loving me," he assures me. "If you treat us equally, I'll take it as a training to overcome my chronic jealousy. Sorry in advance that it won't be quick. I'll probably cause a few jealous scenes before I get there."

"You stupid, don't apologise," I can't hold myself anymore and jump into his embrace.

I connect to him immediately and moan when his love hits me. I'm astonished how much progress he was able to do in such a short amount of time but then I find out that he was working on himself all this time. The results just didn't have a chance manifest because he needed a rite of passage that would literally drag him out of his comfort zone.

"So... do you think I could join now?" Gotrid asks innocently.