49.1. Preparations - Part 1

I wake up being carried in Erik's strong arms. I blink a few times, confused what's happening. The last thing I remember is connecting to Liana.

"You fell asleep in her apartment," he tells me, a sad expression on his face. "She said you didn't feel well after meeting my friends. Oh, Ryuu, why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to spoil your fun," I murmur. "You were so relaxed around them."

"Sorry, I know that Tom can be a jerk sometimes and Mary pries too much," he apologises for their behaviour with a deep sigh. "But those are the only friends I have left. Were they really that horrible? Please, tell me. I'm not interested in keeping them if they're fake."

"That girl with ginger hair and the tall guy were okay," I say cautiously, not wanting to hurt his feelings. "They're genuinely caring for you."

"Only two, huh?" he's disappointed. "But... I kind of guessed."

I'm heart-broken. I don't want him to feel this way. He deserves to be happy for everything he's doing. He's so amazing. Why can't his human friends see that?

"Ehm... I can walk just fine, Erik," I remind him.

"I'm well aware," he smirks and doesn't release me.

"My wings are wiping the floor," I whine.

The guards open the door for us and we enter our apartment. I eye the clock and it's 20:30 already. Damn, why didn't Liana wake me up?

"You were exhausted," Erik answers my unvoiced question because I'm sending him my thoughts again. It seems my mental blocks reset when I fall asleep. "Were five humans at once too much? You don't have a problem with politicians so I thought you'd be okay."

"I don't touch our political guests," I remark. "It was those handshakes that made me nauseous. Their thoughts weren't nice."

"Liana scolded me about that already. Sorry, I didn't realise it's against the protocol. And that it can hurt you so much."

"That's actually the only formal thing I like about being the Emperor," I manage a smile. "Politicians can't touch me so it's not weird that I'm avoiding physical contact. Let's go straight to bed. Please?"

"Nope," he refuses and puts me on the sofa. "You have to eat your dinner first."

"How do you keep track of these things?" I frown but I'm moved by his doting.

"How can you not keep track of whether you've eaten or not?" he rolls his eyes in response. "Don't you feel hungry?"

"I do," I shrug. "But I'm used to ignoring it if I don't feel like eating."

"Don't feel like eating even when hungry," Erik does a facepalm. "Hon, you're just impossible sometimes."

"Maybe," I pull him down next to me.

I hope to cuddle with him for a few minutes but our dinner is brought almost immediately.

"Let's have it like the old days," he suggests and grabs the screen's remote controller. "Cien, can you make us some popcorn? Every calorie is good for our Emperor."

"Of course, Royal Consort," she bows and runs off to fulfil his request.

"A movie night?" I make myself comfortable.

"Yep," he nods with a smile. "Eat as much as you can and don't be afraid to fall asleep on my shoulder any time. I suspect you're not in the mood for anything else anyway."

I never stop to be amazed by how thoughtful Erik is and how well he knows me. And I have to widen my smile when he chooses an animated comedy with cute animals to lift my spirits. I obediently eat my dinner and snuggle to him. We eat the popcorn and even though I wanted to stay awake till the end of the film, I do fall asleep on his shoulder as he predicted.

*****

"No touching at all?" I want to assure myself I heard right.

"No touching at all," Vermiel confirms. "It should have been like that from the beginning but we were being too lenient towards our own people. It won't happen again, that incident was the last straw. Her Excellency reminded everyone that the royal protocol applies even to Celestials."

"But I can still talk to them, right?" I ask because I'm not sure what I can and can't do anymore.

"Of course, but you have to initiate it yourself," Vermiel explains.

I sigh. Nothing is even remotely casual anymore. We're playing the royals and the commoners and, for some reason, everyone's really into that. Even Erik lately. Except it's no roleplay anymore. It's our new reality.

*****

"I'm not coming back," Emi says, chewing her lip. We're supposed to be enjoying our short coffee break. Instead, Emi blurted at me something I fail to understand.

"W-what?" I keep staring at her with my mouth open. I can feel her emotions but they confuse me. She's both sad and excited at the same time.

"After the conference, I'm not coming back to Europe," she elaborates. "I'll fetch my Beta and together we want to roam North and South America, visiting our people across the continent. I'm taking Rien with me but Brina and her partner will stay. Brina is in no condition to travel and we need to keep her safe to make sure the very first Draconian baby is healthy."

"B-but...," I'm lost for words. "When did you decide that?"

"Aefener," she takes my hand on purpose so that I can read her mind. "I've been thinking about leaving for quite some time now. A skyscraper isn't a place suitable for Clawfangs. Celestials might be content here and the Dragonkin don't mind any habitat but the Earthborn feel about it the same way as us. Some even left already. They need the nature, not concrete, glass and marble."

I analyse her feelings and thoughts in detail because she's allowing me to: her growing frustration by being contained inside for most of the day; her frustration with administration and politics; her desire to be free and explore; her desire to just run.

I actually don't mind my work that much but I can certainly relate to her desire for freedom. The Clawfang society is very different, a total opposite of the Celestial one. They respect their Supreme Alpha but they aren't fanatical about it and the ruler position isn't irreplaceable. Besides, Emi isn't the face of Draconia and wanted as patient zero. She can attain freedom and her pack should be able to protect her just fine.

"I'll miss you terribly," I say sincerely.

"But you're happy for me," she grins because I channel my feelings to her.

"I am," I nod and finally smile. "Run around the world for me, will you?"

"Oh, Aefener," she sighs, saddened all of a sudden. "You want to be free as well. You long for the sky. Why are our races so different? Your people are crazy, you know that, don't you? But you love them nonetheless."

"I love them nonetheless," I repeat because it's true. Is it because it's coded in my Celestial genes? Because I'm their Emperor? Because I'm a telepath? All of it combined?

"Don't worry, we'll stay in touch," Emi rubs my feathers. "Okay, as a farewell gift, I'll allow it this once."

"I can?!" I shriek happily.

"Just this once," she confirms.

I slowly stretch my hand and carefully touch her adorable vulpine ears. They're so fluffy! I caress them again... and again... and again... Emi rolls her eyes but she lets me touch her even fluffier tail.

"Sorry that I didn't let you do it earlier, especially when I'm petting your wings all the time," she points out.

"I know it has a totally different meaning to your race," I understand. "Thanks, Emi. Be careful out there, okay?"

"Careful isn't in my vocabulary but I'll have my pack so I should be safe," she assures me and lets me pet her some more.

*****

"Ingri," I ask later that day. "Emi told me some Earthborn left the skyscraper recently. Is it true?"

"Oh, that," Ingri looks up from her graphic tablet. Is she designing more clothes for Draconians?

"Sorry, I didn't tell you because it wasn't important. Yes, so far several Earthborn left. They couldn't take living here anymore. I mean... don't get me wrong, they were really grateful for everything, but they wanted to live closer to nature."

"What about you? We really value your work but if you ever feel like...," I'm almost afraid to finish that sentence.

"I'm fine," she shakes her head. "I can go to the nearby park every day and once a week I visit my parents' garden. Besides, I'd never give up my designing work for Draconians. I'm an Earthborn but it doesn't necessarily mean I want to live in the woods now."

I'm glad she feels that way. Being a certain Draconian race is extremely deterministic already but it can't influence everything. An Earthborn doesn't have to be only a healer, an eco-warrior or a gardener. A Celestial doesn't have to become a mage by trade. We're influenced by our genes much more than humans but we still have a choice.

Except... I might be the only one who doesn't.