44.2. The Emperor Within Me - Part 2

"Sorry," he tells me the first thing in the morning. He always wakes up before me. I have no idea how he does it. Or do Celestials simply need to sleep more than humans?

"What for?" I blink a few times, my eyes still sleepy and unfocused. I stretch all my limbs including wings and yawn.

"I had a breakdown and then fell asleep on you," he sighs and kisses me on my forehead.

"Don't be sorry for something like that," I shake my head. "Do you feel better now? What about talking to that psychologist?" I check that the sleep helped him and he does feel better. But still far from his usual calm state.

"Zetraya is a Celestial, he wouldn't understand," Erik refuses. "And I think it's something I should come to terms with on my own anyway."

"What's the time? Are we free to cuddle a bit?" I ask hopefully because I feel he's not against the idea.

Erik moves my feathers out of the way and looks at the alarm clock.

"Shit, it's 8:30 already?!"

We're both wide awake all of a sudden, trying to get out of my feathers which are everywhere.

"How come nobody woke us up?" I don't understand and collect my robe from the floor. It's badly wrinkled, though. I need a new one.

"It was an exhausting day, maybe they wanted us to have a good rest?" Erik shrugs and puts on his pants.

I quickly fasten one layer of my robe so that I'm not completely naked in front of the maids but just when I'm about to stand up, my head spins and I end up on my knees. Thankfully, there's a fluffy carpet around the bed so it doesn't hurt much.

"Ryuu?!" Erik jumps to me. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Just a bit... dizzy," I admit.

Erik puts his hand on my forehead but I don't think I'm running a fever. I don't feel sick, just out of energy even after I slept really well.

"Ryuu," Erik repeats my name, this time menacingly. "Don't tell me you didn't eat anything after I fell asleep?"

"W-well," I bite my lip guiltily and let him help me onto the bed. "I transported you here and then..."

"Okay, that does it," he hisses. "If you're not mature enough to watch over your diet, we'll have to terrorise you from now on. I was hoping your Celestials metabolism would make you finally eat normally but no such luck it seems."

I don't oppose him because he's right. I feel totally drained and for a Celestial it means no mana. And no mana means no magic. Well, I should still be able to cast but on expense of my body mass which is dangerous. Especially in my unfortunate case.

"I just can't enjoy food when I'm anxious," I pat my stomach which is rumbling loudly and hurts quite a bit.

"Then you won't enjoy it, you'll just chew to give your body nutrients," he purses his lips. "I'm sorry, Ryuu, but I'm afraid we'll have to be strict with you."

He helps me reach the living room with hope to eat our last night's dinner even if it's cold but instead, we find both of our maids already inside and looking really pissed. When they notice that Erik has to support me, they get even angrier.

"You're lucky that doctor Julia is too preoccupied with the research and her newest patient, Your Majesty," Cien berates me. "Or we'd make you go visit her infirmary to weight you again. Are you sabotaging your meals on purpose?"

"Of course not," I assure the maids hastily. "I'm just not able to eat when stressed."

"So sit and relax now," Ayala says uncompromisingly. "Because your breakfast should arrive in a few minutes."

"Do we have time for that?" I doubt. "We overslept."

"Fortunately, the first meeting today starts at ten and Her Excellency told us to let you rest after yesterday," she explains.

Erik seats me on the sofa, grateful that we don't have to hurry today. We know that a lot of work awaits us but ever since coming to the skyscraper, we never had a day off if I don't count my recovery after being shot. A morning off is the best we can get for now so let's just enjoy it.

"Are you restless?" Erik asks when he notices that my wings are trembling. "You won't repeat your yesterday's escape, will you?"

"I'm fine," I promise. "I'd gladly fly if I could but it's not urgent. Don't worry, my mind is perfectly clear."

We cuddle as much as we feel comfortable around our maids and guards until our breakfast arrives. This time I don't resist. My mouth waters at the sight of fried eggs and freshly baked bread which is a very good sign. Cien serves me a mountain of scrambled eggs, Erik gets sausages on top.

"That's how it should be from now on," Erik comments happily, watching me chewing my food ravenously.

"I'll do my best," I say but I know I'm not able to promise anything regarding my diet. I'm just too inconsistent in these things.

Ryuu, Erik switches to telepathy and gets serious. I don't want to be too hard on you but are you sure you don't have anorex---

I'm sure I don't, I stop him before he can finish that word. Look up its definition, it doesn't apply to me at all. People suffering from it want to lose weight and even when tragically underweight, they still see themselves fat. Not my case. I know I'm too skinny and I'd like to put on a few kilos. I just have problems eating sometimes, that's all.

So why do you feel so sensitive about it every time I bring it up? he nudges me and passes me butter.

Because people were assuming that about it for years and I'm just fed up with it, I say. And because there's not much I can do about it. I was born with weak digestion and lesser appetite and my transformation didn't change that. In fact, it made it even worse because I can't eat meat anymore.

"More bread, Your Majesty?" Cien offers because we emptied the tray quickly. It's a question but I can tell she hopes I'll say yes.

"Please," I nod. I'm pretty full at this point but one more crunchy bun I can manage.

We'd love to relax and cuddle a bit more but everyone else is hard at work already so I'd feel bad lazing around.

"Are you sure you're strong enough?" Erik wants to support me again but I decline.

"I'm fine now. I can literally feel that food is being processed into mana as we speak."

"Super fast metabolism," Erik says enviously. "Which reminds me that I should seriously start hitting the gym or my muscles you love so much will disappear."

"You know I love you with or without them," I land him a kiss. Erik was always a bit too self-conscious about his looks. A well-kept partner is definitely a plus but I didn't fall in love with him only because of his handsome appearance. I hope he knows that.

"Well, I have to look my best so that you're not ashamed to have me be your side during official events," Eriks smirks and we return to our bedroom.

It's a routine now. We brush our teeth and Erik does his usual grooming while the maids are dressing me. I wasn't comfortable with it for a long time but today I don't feel weird about it at all. They're my maids and it's their job. Besides, these expensive royal attires Liana is commissioning for me would be a nightmare to put on by myself.

"I'll need a robe for flying," I remark. "It's too difficult to fly in so many layers."

"Of course, Your Majesty, Ingri is already working on the designs," Cien says with a smile. "Actually, we started to commission mostly Draconians recently in order to give our people who don't live in the skyscraper jobs."

"Oh, that's neat," I appreciate.

I don't want to cut off humans entirely but at the same time if it's about deciding whether to employ Draconians or them, our people are a priority, naturally.

Ayala turns around to switch with Cien and her wings accidentally bump into the wardrobe. She swears silently.

"We're arranging for a bigger apartment," she says, caressing her wing. "This one isn't good enough for Your Majesty and the Royal Consort. It's too cramped with us and the guards. The reconstruction will take place during your New York visit, it's scheduled."

"Sweet, looking forward to it," Erik returns, his chin perfectly shaved.

I roll my eyes. If anything, Erik got used to luxury a bit too much. He's not a vain person but it brings him pleasure to wear expensive brand suits, leather shoes and trendy watches. And if his salary from AstraTech is as big as mine, he's loaded and has no problem to enjoy it.

I ponder for a moment how I feel about it. I got rid of my Mom's debts and became rich almost overnight. Not anywhere near Liana's level, of course, but rich nonetheless. But I don't particularly enjoy it. I'm more concerned about what good my money could bring and how to help people like Zirand and Iyapa who are struggling every day with just basic groceries.

When I think about my people, I feel burning desire to protect them. I'd do anything to secure our future. The survival of Celestials is my absolute priority now.

"Is it okay like this, Your Majesty?" Cien asks, interrupting my thinking process.

I look at her and can't help seeing her as my subject. I want to protect her but at the same time I realise that I have a problem seeing her as my equal. I try to get shake it off but not even delving in her mind does the trick.

In panic, I focus on Erik and thankfully, my Celestial Emperor's instinct doesn't kick in. Is it because he's human?! Humans didn't exist in Draconia Online so I have no response built in. I'm glad for that.

"There, Your Majesty," Cien nudges me so that I look in the mirror, not at my partner. "Do you like it?"

I finally pay attention to my reflection and notice that Cien braided my hair. It looks a bit too girlish but at least it won't get in the way as much. If only she did it yesterday, my hair was in my face during the whole flight.

"It's so cute," Erik is moved and plays with the braid.

"The Emperor is not supposed to look cute," I sigh. "How can I impress people now?"

"Just like always," Erik laughs. "Come, love, we don't have to be that late."