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Chapter 18

Amusement Parks

Plus Size Prisoner of Society

When you date a big girl

Be careful how you choose

Where to take her

How to date her

Put yourself in her shoes

In the movies

Theme parks are always a great date

But be weary

Please be weary

Not for you, but for her sake

Real world rides

Aren't made for girls with curves my size

Oh the seats

Those damn seats!

How they cut into our thighs!

And once we're in

We still have the seat belt

Oh please fit

Oh please fit!

The embarrassment we've felt

When the attendant says

"Sorry, the belt just won't fit"

The eyes

Oh the eyes!

They make you feel like shit

You want to laugh it off

But instead you run and hide

Oh kill me now

Just take me now!

You can't stop, you start to cry

And here comes your date

Being the average size he is

Yeah he's perfect

So perfect

You will never be his

He won't want you now

That embarrassed him too

Crap we're done

It's done

This whole date is through

He tries to comfort you

Which makes you cry more

Oh great

Oh great!

This is more than he bargained for

If a guy offers me

Theme park on the first date

Yeah okay

Not okay

I'm just gonna tell him straight

A theme park is for skinny girls

And the girl you're talking to is not

So move on

Please move on

Don't even bother taking your shot

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