To Me

Date of Entry: 7.21.23

This is not to brag

It's not even a toast

It's a letter to myself

Cause she's been through the most

To the girl who feels awkward

Or ugly in her skin

To the girl who doesn't believe

That "Beauty lies within"

To the girl who doesn't trust

That this look is just a phase

To the girl who thinks the loneliness

Is the only thing that stays

To the girl who lives in anger

Mad at the world, with rage

To the girl who feels society

Has locked her in a cage

The loneliness? It leaves

And the cage? Up to you

But the key's in your possession

Honestly, it's true

You decide how you look

You decide how you talk

You decide what others see

From how you dress to how you walk

You can strut in confidence

Or scurry like you're meek

People will accept you

With each passing day, each week

The love you show others

You have to show yourself

Embrace each curve and roll

Embrace the pain that you have felt

Each scar marks your journey

Each insult builds your strength

Knowing that a bully

Will always go to great lengths

To tear you down from the inside

You don't show it at first

But when you're in your room

That's when you show how much it hurt

You listen to your music

Telling yourself it isn't true

"No I'm not ugly"

But in your heart you knew

"Pretty" wasn't a word

The public would ever use

Their words would beat you

Leaving invisible black and blues

Bruises that ache

In the middle of the night

Trauma that you

Held on to so tight

You carried them

In every conversation that you had

You'd smile and make some jokes

So they wouldn't see you sad

The fat one of the group's

Gotta be good for something

Your brains or your jokes,

But let me tell you one thing

You don't have to always show

How independent you are

You don't have to bottle your feelings

And keep them in a jar

You don't have to eat "just one"

If you're hungry for more

Know no one's looking at you

Not now, not even before

That anxiety you felt

Was built up over time

But you made it through the hard part

So I could be just fine

Yes I'm the adult and

You're the child

Yet I wouldn't have made it far

Not an inch or a mile

If it wasn't for you

Choosing to wake up everyday

If it wasn't for you

Ignoring what others had to say

To the twelve year old

Who chose to hold her head up high

To the girl who chose to

Never listen to the lies

The one who didn't let the darkness

Swallow her up whole

You don't understand

How much you play a role

Your my backbone when I'm nervous

And want to run away

You give me the strength

To say what I have to say

You remind me that we've come too far

To turn back and go home

You remind me I'm a bad bitch

Even when I'm standing alone

When I look in the mirror

It's you I see, I do

But it's not the little fat girl

It's the hero I see in you

I hope that I've grown into

A woman you're proud to be

I hope I did you right

I hope I did right by me